How Deep Must It Go to Count?

I knew it was my fault that I was frustrated. I never liked to test my boundaries, whether with my self or other people. For the most part, my wildest desires remained in my fantasies, locked up behind a facade of innocence that others didnt question. Sometimes I didnt question it myself. I could go months without laying a finger on myself, convinced that I could deny any primal needs, before I gave in. Those moments, in sweet release, were some of the best. But even that never lasted long.

My fingers were never enough, and nor were any objects round my room that I turned into makeshift dildos and fucked my pussy with in desperation. I ruined my own virginity like that.

Too horny to care and my thighs covered in juices from already having come twice, I grabbed the nearest thing next to me. The moment it toucked my lips I admit I hesitated. I tried instead to rub it up and down my slit with one hand while I alternated between playing with my clit and my tits with the other. I'm sure it's obvious that the only thing I succeeded in was frustrating myself even more, leaving me aching with a need to have something in my pussy.

I'd been like that, on the edge of losing my inhibitions, when I gave in. Part of me was convinced that I could stop myself part way, that I wouldnt let it go deep enough to count.

After some initial resistance, I began sliding my fake dildo up and down about an inch into my opening, moving it each time at different angles to figure out where it felt best.

I think I was moaning, and I know that in the back of my mind I was worried about being heard, but right there and then I needed nothing but that pleasure.

Fighting myself in my own mind, I kept saying that I would only do a little more, *just a little more that was all i needed just some more oh god like that some more oh god yes it doesnt count even if it goes a bit deeper i just cant stop*... I hadnt even realised that Id almost pushed the whole thing into me until my hand guiding it in and out brushed skin against skin with my sticky lips. It was then that I knew I'd done it.

I felt guilty yes. I wasn't even sure why I felt guilty but I did. There was another feeling too though. A release. I'd just broken down one boundary in my delirium and now there was nothing stopping my from fucking myself again and again and again and going as deep as I'd like. In theory, there was nothing stopping me from having one night stands or letting myself getting fucked by a random stranger in an alley at 2am. I'd passed that first hurdle that had scares me for so long and now my pussy was open for everyone.

This realisation, that now I really was a little slut who not only wanted to be fucked by any and everyone but now was ready to be (as Id taken away the anxiety of when to have my first time), made my pussy drip more and then tighten.

I pinched on my nipples even harder, sending shivers right down to my sex. Opening my legs even wider, I raised my hips and began fucking myself even harder and faster.

And oh my god it felt good. It felt so good.

My head was back, drool escaping as I fantasized about taking cock in my mouth and sucking on it, using my tongue to lick my way up from the balls, along the shaft, and up to the head, before letting it bombard my mouth at whatever pace it wanted until cum shot back and down my throat.

Toes curling, I knew I was close to cumming myself. Wet noises and my own scent was filling my room and I could tell it would end any second.

Trying to make it last as long as possible though, I stopped repeatedly anytime I thought I was too close. Denying myself that pleasure only to plunge back into my pussy moments later was driving me to the edge. After about the fourth or fifth time of doing this, my pussy walls began to tighten around my dildo, so tight I couldnt actually get it out.

It felt like heaven. I didnt want it to stop. Eventually I managed to ease out my dildo but not before another shockwave hit me and I squirted furiously onto my bed. Before this, I hadnt even thought myself capable of squirting that much. But the sensation and release was amazing. All I could think was *oh my god I wanted so much more I wanted to squeeze around a real dick and squirt till I was so soaked that even post cumming I would be wet and warm enough to keep on getting fucked*.

It took two more sessions before I had cum enough to be satisfied and the feeling of need was replaced by a slight stinging I could feel. Some blood on my sheets became evidence that I'd torn my hymen, but surrounded by the evidence of my pleasure I didn't care.

I've never had a cock in me to this day, and to that end I'd still consider myself a virgin. However, I do think of this as a trial run of my first time and it was certainly one I enjoyed.

It hasn't been too long since then, but my body seems to be constantly horny and I cant seem to reach that height of pleasure again (at least not when Im conscious about others around me). In truth though I need a cock in me, to fuck me for hours and hours even when I beg to stop. Until then, my makeshift dildos, my fingers, and my imagination will have to do.