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Click here"I guess I wouldn't really."
"There you go. Another reason not to come here, because you would see him fucking someone else. That's not his little secret and the sluts here are used to fucking in front of other people."
"Thanks," Earl said. "I didn't think you'd actually refuse sex. I thought I'd have to watch like Monroe did."
"Both, or none at all, Earl. I'm a bastard, but not a heartless bastard."
******
- COMMENTS
Anonymous6 months agoAt this point I am skimming the chapters. You are such an excellent writer, DEAR AUTHOR. But, you definitely lost me as each new character was added. Even for your excellent EDITOR, just too much going on. Still 5 stars.
Anonymousover 1 year agoI’m wondering why someone reads 29 chapters of a story that is referred to as meh? Another great chapter in the saga of Bryce’s life.
greens444over 1 year agoBoy is the moon full? Anyone that has read this far in the story either enjoys it or is into pain.
I have read every chapter and enjoy the writing style and far out premise of the story.
One thought, so many characters with complex back stories, can be confusing. So recap might be helpful every couple of chapters.
Oh, 5 stars from me.
Leifsonover 1 year agoHopefully some constructive criticism. After 29 chapters, I am still pretty meh. Yet it has your usual competent writing, and similar situations to other series that you have written. So what's the problems? For me at least, despite no enthusiasm about the topic, cuckholding isn't the problem.
My biggest problem is probably lack of empathy with the characters. Brick is (purposely) supposed to be more asshole than not. And when "his sluts" struggles to not cum when denied permission, or suffers embarrassment at being fed and fondled in public, they are told mostly from Brick's POV. And that makes the sex partners come off as shallow. And I think explains why it is less involving.
Writing an interesting submissive (with the motivations you like your submissives to be driven by) character is hard. I think you have done pretty well showing multi-dimensions with Marcia, Beth, and Julia. But Diane, who started off interesting in summer surprise went more one dimensional as she became driven by submissive urges. But almost none of the female characters in this series end becoming more interesting than their kinks (Jeri comes close, and I had unrealized hopes for Arial).
Another problem is the huge cast of characters in this series. Im normally You have some of your typical 'recap' discussions, but in this series they are often for recent events; and don't help as much when trying to remember things about the character.
Anonymousover 1 year agoSeconded. You have succeeded in writing the worst story on here. That means it's bad, really really bad.
