I Didn't Want to Believe

There had been so many cutbacks in the council, maintenance on the lorries was cut as well. As a result, we had more breakdowns, not normally the engines but the hydraulics for the crushers. Our machine stopped midcycle. The mechanics couldn't fix it so we were sent home. I decided to head to Glenda's office and take her to lunch. We hadn't done that in a while.

It seemed I must have missed her as the office was empty. I was about to leave when I heard her. She was in the far office. I walked softly, not liking what I was hearing. Glenda was having an orgasm as I reached the door. I saw through the gap in the blinds, Glenda was lying over the desk. A massive fucking bloke was fucking her doggy style which she loves. I found my phone in my hand and I recorded the next couple of minutes.

I couldn't march in. I'm 5'9", and weigh 140lbs soaking wet. He looked at least 6'5" and had a hundred pounds on me. The sign on his door said P. Twist.

As I passed Glenda's desk, I took my wedding ring out of the pouch I kept it in when working. I placed it on her desk where she couldn't miss it. I walked away in a daze. My worst nightmare was true. As I walked through the car park, I saw his car. It was very distinctive. I knew I'd seen it somewhere.

I made my way to a local pub where I knew Michael would be. He saw how I looked, so shocked. He took us away from everyone. I told him what I'd seen. He didn't believe me until I showed him the video. I didn't know what to do.

Michael did, "We have to get him. The car you described is rare. There is one on the Palace estate. We'll move the round around until we find it. You'll have the address. That video goes to his wife."

When Glenda came home it looked like she had been crying heavily. Her body language showed she was very scared about what she was facing. I saw her eyes as she tried to work out what to do. As she came close, I sniffed her and she got a scared look. It suddenly dawned on me, had she been giving me sloppy seconds. I had to run to the toilet and was violently sick.

When I had recovered, she was sitting at our table. I looked at her and asked very sadly, "Why?"

She just dissolved into more tears. I walked away. Later she came to me and said, "Harry, what are you going to do?"

I looked at her, even in my anger, I recognised she was more worried about him than us. "I don't know. I never expected you to cheat on me. I'm not a hunk but I thought I was a decent man. I treated you well. I did everything I could to show you how much I love you but you've thrown it all back in my face. I'm numb. I can't face my life without you but I can't face it with you."

My voice was rising, the anger clear, "Why Glenda? Is that why you've been more loving in recent weeks, to fucking rub my face in it. We were talking about having kids. Were they going to be his or mine? Were you going to be leaving me for him? I'm so confused. I don't know you anymore."

Glenda sobbed. "I didn't mean it to happen but he's so powerful. I knew it was wrong and I tried to make it up to you."

I snorted, "You were all for giving me sloppy seconds. How many times did you do that? Me, the gullible fool."

Glenda was shocked, "I never gave you sloppy seconds he wore a condom. Our kids would be ours. I'm so sorry. Can we do something to get past this? It will never happen again. I love you Harry."

I replied sadly, "Sorry, about fucking him or being caught? I don't know what I want."

We slept in separate rooms. Over the weekend, Glenda tried to talk more about what I was going to do. After she went around the bushes a few times I lost it, "Glenda, why don't you come out with it. You're worried about what I may do about him. Not about me at all."

Glenda looked down, "Harry, I know how much pain I'm in. Most of it is about the pain I'm causing you. I never thought about the consequences. I never thought how it would hurt us. Every time I catch your eye, I see the hurt, the pain, the anger, the revulsion, the sadness. I betrayed you and you can't trust me. I've destroyed your love for me.

"I have no excuse. He's a hunk. His personality is highly driven and I found myself caught up in his aura. I found myself feeling randy and I did come home and fuck you silly. He never touched me but on a purely physical level, I wanted him. I did resist but three weeks ago, we were working so closely, our bodies touched. It was like lightning struck. Before I knew it, I was over his desk and he was fucking me. It was so good. It was purely sex. No love, just animal passion.

"Afterwards when I came down, I was so ashamed. I came home and almost raped you. For the first time in a long time, I gave you a blowjob and let you cum in my mouth. I made you hard again and rode you like my life depended on it. I knew my marriage did.

"I was so confused. I didn't want to have sex with him again as I knew it would end badly yet I had this physical attraction. He had it for me as well. We've had sex three times Harry. You caught us on the third time.

"He may be a bigger man but his penis isn't any bigger than yours. I did orgasm and they were big but no bigger than many I shared with you. It was an experience I never should have allowed. I'll never do anything like this again Harry if you'll give me a chance to prove it.

"You are a great guy Harry. You are kind, considerate, helpful, have a good sense of humour. You are an excellent lover even if you're questioning yourself because of me. I would be happy to go to a counsellor with you, to work through this. One who also helps with sex. I know I've resisted doing things with you, though often I wanted to do them. If I can, I want to be a better wife for you."

I looked at her, the tears were streaming down her face, "What about him? Will he give up fucking his secretary? I mean he must have known you were interested if he had condoms in his desk. Does he fuck others? Use his position to abuse his staff."

Glenda looked at me guiltily, "The first time it just happened we didn't use condoms. I showered and flushed out my cunt when I came home so you didn't have sloppy seconds. I'm still on the pill as we hadn't decided to have children yet. He's not fucked anyone else.

"Harry, after I went back to my desk and saw your ring, I was devastated. He came out to see why I was crying. I showed him your ring and said you must have come to see me for lunch and found us fucking. He about collapsed. It was the cold-water immersion we needed. We know how stupid we've been. How much we could lose. Neither of us wished to hurt anyone."

I shook my head, "Glenda, is he married as well? You've never mentioned him so I don't know. Are you concerned I'll tell his wife?" I shouted, "Fuck his marriage up like he's fucked mine!"

Glenda sat back in shock at my venom, "No Harry, please don't tell his wife. They have two young children. They won't understand why if his wife throws him out. Please Harry, think of them."

I shook my head a few times, "Did he think of them? You want him to walk away with everything he had plus you. I lose everything. I don't want to hurt his children but he's responsible."

Glenda pleaded, "Harry please think before you do. I know this has hurt you so deeply you want to lash out. I've never seen you so angry, so sad. Don't do something in anger you'll regret later. You know you'll feel their hurt.

"I don't know what to suggest. I know you're hurt. I don't know how to make it any less. Would tying me up, fucking me all weekend, no thought to me, just use me, help? Would spanking me until I couldn't sit down work? If I can I'd do anything to help you. If I could take your pain, I would. I know I'm responsible for this mess. I love you."

I laughed, "You think you can remove the video in my head of you screaming an orgasm as he pounded you doggy style on his desk. Can you do that? When I look at you all I can see is him fucking you. I can't rid myself of those images."

Glenda gasped as the rawness of my thoughts broke over her. She dissolved into tears. I had to leave and get away for a while. I walked for miles before I returned.

Glenda spoke softly, "Harry, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Please give me a chance to make you better."

I couldn't speak, my voice croaked, "You're sorry I caught you. I don't know if I'll ever be better."

On Monday, Michael and I spoke with Sam, our driver. Michael told him everything. Sam was agreeable to us changing our route through the estate to try and get this bastard's address. He thought he'd seen one like it at the top end. We started at 7am but never saw him.

The week went by and Glenda wasn't happy. She'd try to speak but I tried as hard to avoid it. It just brought back those images. I still didn't know what I wanted to do with her. I only saw our dreams going up in flames. I didn't really see any way other than a divorce.

The second Monday we got lucky. I saw the bastard coming out of his house. His wife was very attractive. He was hugging her and two little girls. I was really pissed off. Michael said, "Wow, I see why you never punched his lights out. You'd need the wheel brace and crowbar together to hurt him."

Once back at the depot, Sam went into the office. He and one of the secretary's had a little thing going. Both were single and Sam's not a bad lad. When he came out, he gave me a note. "Phillip and Angela Twist live at that address."

I had prepared an SD card with the video of him fucking Glenda. I included a note from me detailing the date, time and my belief it had been going on for a few weeks due to my wife's changed habits. Could I drop the envelope through their door? Did his wife and kids deserve the pain I would cause them?

Glenda asked every night what she could do to make me believe it would never happen again. Each day I felt myself moving further away from her. I didn't see a future for us at all. I downloaded the divorce forms and had a list of what we needed to complete. It was filled in, our names, Twist's name and our financial status. I'd signed at my part.

I handed her the divorce papers. "We don't have a lot. If you sign we can keep most of it. If you don't the legal fees will take it all and more."

Glenda looked at me, pleading, "Can't we try counselling? I love you. This was never about hurting you. It was a stupid mistake. I've no excuse. Can we try and save our marriage? It will never happen again."

I shook my head, "How can I trust you? You kept him a secret from me. When you had to say your new boss was a hunk, you said it in a way which said you were already fucking him or if not you would be soon. I can't live like that. I'm not an adonis, build like a god but I try to be a decent man. I wouldn't have screwed around on you. Risked my family just because I could. He's an arsehole.

"I've tried to see a way we can stay together but I can't. You've ripped me apart."

Glenda looked at me. She got up and signed the forms. She spoke sadly, "I'll move all my stuff into the other bedroom until I can find somewhere to live. I'm sorry. If you change your mind, give me a chance to rebuild our love and trust, I'll be available."

It took her a month to find a flat. She was always dressed. I never saw her naked or partially dressed showing me what I'd miss. She never tried to make me change my mind. She was in tears as she left for the final time. During the second week, she told me she had an appointment with a counsellor. The counsellor had suggested that we both attend. Glenda said the counsellor knows about the divorce but when I told her of your built-up anger she felt, she could help you overcome that to get on with your life.

Even Michael had said I'd needed help. It took a few months but it did help. Occasionally we had joint sessions. It stretched my budget to breaking point. I couldn't afford it and go to the pub I wasn't good company anyway.

Our divorce went through. It must have been a slow week for news as the local press picked up on it and named the guilty parties. Apparently, Mrs Twist was not a happy bunny. She'd have been more unhappy had I sent her the video.

I do occasionally bump into Glenda other than at the counsellor. She or her friends tell me she is not dating and still hopes for a reconciliation. The counsellor has made it clear to Glenda, I may never get over what she did. Glenda has tried to have her work on our sex life so she can be a better partner for me. The counsellor let her know now was not the time. I still had barriers up and until they came down, the anger wouldn't go away. Even then, I'd made it clear we were over.

I'm not dating. I'm not so sad but my life is a fucking mess. For those that think I won as I divorced her. No one won! Our lives, our dreams have been shattered. I'm not interested in any new relationship. How can I trust her, whoever she is?