All Comments on 'I Dream of Jenny'

This story was very good.

Love your thoughts.

Seems like the story is missing its first page, pretty perfunctory handling of major issues.

It doesn't really come together and well wasn't that good.

A tiny nit to pick with the starting part when you say "..we were raised in evangelical Christian households." Could you have said "...we were raised under evangelical Christians." ? You give it away in two paragraphs, but it might keep the suspense going a touch longer. On the other hand, that's not why we're reading this genre, is it?

I gave this story 5 stars as I feel it was VERY well written. That said, it was a bit short as my favorite stories are often 12+ pages if not multiple chapter epics detailing every step in the journey. I loved what's here however and thus, 5/5.

Good story! Normally in these kinds of stories, pregnancy or at risking it, is part of the turn-on for me. However, I appreciate the way you had the characters think through the risks and methodically eliminate them. Not just of having a messed up baby, but the risk of being identified and outed.

Surprised to find it so well received overall and in truth I wish inspiration had sent me longer story. Someday I may get the inspiration to do a more in depth telling of the story, perhaps from both Matt and Jenny's perspectives. I get the impression Jenny was on the whole more ready to cross the line, but Matt needed to take initiative at key points, a relationship of equality but not sameness. If another literotica author would like to attempt a rewrite, message me with your ideas. I know some of you are masters of longer stories, I am not.

WOW! Metaphors be with you.

Great story,certainly a story of love😀.In the Bible Abraham ANF Sarah were at least half siblings.Cain had to have married his sister because Adam and Eve were the only parents at that time

Please do feel free to delete this comment if it no longer serves a purpose to you.

Some errors I found:

"yet at the same time what I was feeling was so intensely right [the] it is the only thing I've ever experienced in this life"

"We both had [both had] lovers, some of them have remained friends."

"has a well-rounded butt that J Lo would envy" You're taxing my suspension of disbelief, there.

"But taking it slow also had unexpected pleasures." All for that. My "Anticipation" series was centered around that.

On to the critique: I have two perspectives to offer.

From the perspective of this story being essentially a type of therapy, I have no critique at all. If it served the purpose, then it was written exactly as it needed to be.

However, as a story to be read and enjoyed by others, it feels rather mechanical. It's the difference between telling me what someone is feeling and actually conveying it. The emotions were not conveyed to me. I doubt that you, as the writer, truly felt what the characters were feeling. I may be wrong. It is only doubt.

The 'oh, by the way, I can successfully hack government computers' thing was... convenient.

I liked the plot well enough. I give it the 'good idea-bad execution' badge.

I agree this is nowhere near my best, and I don't enjoy re-reading it as much as the others. It did however, scratch the dark itch rather well. I think the story was a little too close to my foundational trauma for me to write it well.

Dude, not trying to put down the weight for the sister, but for crying out loud 160lbs at 5'10" is excessive weight. And not just a little. Maybe 140/145lbs. Your description of her being athletic and running track would suggest there is no way she weighed that much. Being active at all there is no way she could weigh that much. A sedentary (non-active) person could maybe fit that description.

Pretty disjointed story.

Pretty meh, should’ve had her get pregnant also this is erotic fiction no one cares about your politics