by dreamsex1130
Dreamsex1130...if you're looking into becoming a published author, you really need to work on your style, punctuation, grammar etc, and SLOW down. I can guarantee I wouldn't pay for a story that is written the way you have written this, there is no substance in it at all.
It was a little fast
It almost seemed like you wanted the stories to be finnished ASAP
i know that you didnt mean it but i think each chapter should have SOME dialogue.
So maybe just slow it down(:
~Christina
Use less 'I' and 'You", and slow the story down.
There is detail there, and substance .. but it needs to flow better.
Hi! I am the author of this series and I would really appreciate some feedback, as I am looking into becoming a published author and unbiased opinions would really be helpful. Thanks guys!!