All Comments on 'I Just Wanted To Go To The Opera'

Fair, but you kept mixing Beth and Wendy which made it very confusing and difficult to read. Please get a proofreader. This couple definitely needs some counseling. They've been together a long time, but they have problems spending time together??? Then you add in her spending a lot of time with Billy and developing an emotional connection, and not coming clean with her husband - very serious issues. Lastly, the ending was rushed and pretty much ignored all the problems she caused.

I liked it. 5stars

Fun story! I guess they talked and straightened things out in the end.

5

This was a difficult story to read, as the story was filled with confusing word choices. Pages 2 and 3 were replete with errors such as these errors from the story (3 stars)

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It we her college remate Wendy instead of '"it was her college roommate Wendy".

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"Intern" instead of " in turn"

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"overseeing" instead if 'overseas"

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her eyes look down at "me crouch." Instead of "my crotch"

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and stop" drawling over Beth"

Instead of"drooling over Wendy" note you changed Wendy to Beth

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Instead of "my crotch"

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and stop " drawling over Beth"

Instead of "drooling over Wendy" you changed Wendy to Beth in this paragraph

Lot of problems with the composition of this tale.

Honestly with decent proofreading this could have been a 4 or maybe a 5. However, as mentioned in many of the early comments, it was a nightmare as far as the grammar goes. I liked your idea, but the distracting mistakes made it difficult to make it to the end.

Story was original and decently presented. However, Vintage­_DM is not much of an editor (unless major rewriting after editing), and one would hope that an author would proofread before sending out for publishing.

Please fire your editor....and keep track of your own characters' names.

"Beth, you feel like taking a ride with me into town, Karen asked if I would pick up some ice, and we're out of Pina colada mix?" I was hoping Wendy would say yes.

That's just one of many lazy mistakes.

You really need to proof read. Was the main character’s name Teri or Tara? Was the slut friend Wendy or Beth? Story had potential but that pretty much killed it for me. I can deal with a few grammar mistakes here and there but if you can’t keep the characters names straight. Please work on that in the future as I really did like the premise of this story.

Almost impossible to follow due to the many, many errors. Please find an editor for your next work.

Decent enough story but the cat fight at the end was tedious.

The actual story was pretty good.

The writing was atrocious. It was almost unreadable, not sure how I actually forced myself to finish it.

BTW, who was the woman she wrestled on the beach that wasn't Wendy?

Name swapping is distracting. Story was ok though

Loved it

Not bad, the ending was a bit of an anticlimax. The fight scene and dialogue was a bit silly at the end. But still nice, It does seem strange that his sister would set him up with her friend only to say don't touch. Also that his sister thinks so little of her brothers marriage that she does not even consider getting in touch with his wife secretly. Forget the "proof reading" jibes, these come from people who have not had the guts to write. Yet they are all such incredibly good critics.

WOW What a Great Story, Great Writing, Great effort! A Great take on the "Honey, we have to talk!" Trope. What a perfect example of how a selfish woman can destroy her marriage and not even be fucking around! LOL, It sure was close tho. It was close. Then we have all these Commenters that don't even read stories, making comments, and the other commenters that all can say how much they didn't like minor things like spelling. LOL if they are so unhappy with the spelling why not become a volunteer editor? Obviously, they know so much! Regardless of these minuscule errors, it was a Very Great Story!

Very thought-provoking story! Mike was a superior man and husband. I would have divorced her way before the July 4th weekend. 100 big blazing stars to the author! thanks for the effort! Buster2U

An interesting premise. Emotional cheating. Still cheating. At the point where she won't go to the beach, he should have ended it. Walk and don't look back. D

Good story, but the whole Perry hit on Mike business is a nonstarter. I would think she would know he is not amused and not push her luck, but she has already shown herself to be an idiot and anything is possible.

Story, a little note about editors. Most editors don't read your story, they just run a word check program, no misspelled words no corrections. What you need is a couple of beta readers to find the errors, like Teri becoming Tara. They will also find spots where you missed a comma or quotation mark. I'm not saying it is wrong to use an editor, just that they aren't the total solution to making a good story.

To Vintage­_DM, I'm sure you did your best.

Enjoyed the story and it had a wonderful build up but I don’t think, if I were Mike, that I would have waited as long as he did before confrontation. And I don’t think, based on the author’s depiction of him, it would have not blown up earlier.

"Listen, Mike. We're just playing with you. Personally, I couldn't let my wife go on a date with someone else. I'm too insecure. I would be freaking out thinking she was fucking the guy." Another buddy said. This author commentary as dialog. It is as false a statement as can be put forward by the author. Had it been the wife saying that her husband was insecure that would be ok as an understand of her thought process or motivation. It is not insecurity to worry about your wife dating another man. She is currently in the story emotional cheating. Her husband has the situation correctly in hand. Does she tell him her date is gay? No. Does she allay his concerns by proving who she is seeing and that this man is gay? No. This makes her a stupid cunt. The story is a *** because the author puts forward their belief that man are just insecure, and for having a wife character that really is to stupid to breathe.

This really needs an editor or at least read through two or three times. So many errors which destroy the flow, name changes and wrong words littered throughout. Also during the dialogue please refrain from using names so much. When you're in conversation with somebody you don't state their name with every response, you both know who you're talking to.

Otherwise not a bad story. The characters were entertaining, if a bit dumb: actually I have to wonder if they had a dozen brain cells between them? But that made for better reading I think. Tara was particularly good, she didn't try to be anything but what she was: a scatty dumb broad, but from the description pretty hot. Also Mike was quite believable, neither a cuck nor some testosterone filled caveman. In the end a happy outcome for everybody, just a shame the writing didn't match it.

4

Beth/Wendy?

As others have already pointed out, you really need an editor.

Thesis a story somewhere there , but the editing made it a laborious read

Great Story!!

The story was interesting had potential but fell flat for me. Especially the anticlimactic ending. More drama and suspense is needed. Mike comes across as a very weak man to me. I just can't imagine a husband allowing his wife to do what Tara did not once but many times to the point of putting Mike second in her life.

The ending made it sound like Tara hadn't learned her lesson and was planning on humiliating Mike some more. I really doubt Mike would be doing any socializing with Billy and Perry. If he did run into them and either one "hit" on him they would both get their asses beat in my opinion but you did make Mike's character weak so maybe he wouldn't. I really see Mike and Tara getting divorced because Tara just has to keep rubbing Mike's nose in shit.

I'm interested to read more about that split personality Beth/Wendy woman.

StoryTLR - thank you for writing and sharing. It is greatly appreciated. I would also like to add that this story could have been "more" but the errors detracted.

Meh … 2*

Just unbelievable … no man would put up with this shit, especially the humiliation from his friends.

The editing was flawed to the point it became a distraction. Teri/Tara and Beth/Wendy, with the latter happening in the same sentence. WTH? You touched on a relevant topic, especially in long marriages. The heart of a true marriage is the emotional connection, not sex. Wendy was having an emotional affair with Billy and you did well revealing the impact to her marriage. Unfortunately, you glossed over the steps taken to get them truly together again. 3*

I liked the story, although some editing is needed. Holding back the friends name and the fact he was gay was smart, the last line wasn't needed. If she thinks it will be funny to see a gay man hit on her husband, will she think it's funny if her husband punches him and knocks him on his arse.

You need an editor big time.

I fully agree with SwordWielder, with the Beth/Wendy switcheroo. Way too hard to keep track of the players.

Everything SwordWielder said is true but Mike should have kick her ass to the curb. She went on many many dates with another guy and that is totally disrespecting Mike. I do not give a crap that Billy was gay, Mike did not know who she was dating. She was having an emotional love affair with some guy as far as Mike was concern so kick her ass to the curb, she was cheating.

Teri or Tara? That's for starters. You do need a proofreader...or...reread it yourself. Three times at least and break it into sections. Read, read, read again, slowly. When the spelling is right and the names consistent and in the correct context, move on to the next section. If you can spell nymphomaniac you should be able to proof your own story!

Edit and proofread before you post a story. Not talking fine points of grammar, but glaring misspellings and similar mistakes that are a huge distraction. As to substance, the first part of the story was OK but the whole "male friend is gay" is a cop-out. She's spending lots of time with her friend not just going out but texting and blowing off husband. Gay or not, it's emotional cheating. The gay part is just not very interesting and obscures the emotional cheating issue. If I scored it,I would give it 2**. But since the lack of proofreading and editing is fixable, I'll pass on giving this a score.

This could have been such a great story but you desperately need an editor and one who's primary language is english. As SwordWielder stated, "you kept mixing Beth and Wendy which made it very confusing and difficult to ready" and you switched He, She, Him, Her, They and Them up more times than half of the LGTBQ+ community combined. I would have tossed a coin to decide between a 4 and a 5 if it was readable and made sense but I could only give a 3.

Unreadable. Get an editor. Get two editors. Or three? 1*

Started out stupid and just got worse.

That has to be the most attrocious editing I have ever seen on Lit, way to throw your so called editor under the bus. Also make up your mind about names, Teri or Tara, Beth or Wendy, you couldn't make up your damn mind! You must have made an awful lot of changes AFTER it was edited, really, really bad!!!!! Then it just ends like you were bored with your own story!

1* If you are going to use voice-to-text to write your stories, the least that you can do is to go back over it and edit the text to correct the translation mistakes. Your crap has so many "wrong words" that it is almost impossible to read. also, you need to learn how to keep the names straight!

The story was okay, but confusing at times. 3 wakes with the ruler, on your knuckles, for mis using words. You really need to read what you wrote before submitting the story.

Poor, it badly needs editing.

What terrible english god get a decent editor then dont change anything!!!

Good idea but the way you wrote mike i dont see him letting this go on as he did. It was way out of character.

Teri? Tara?

minus on star for no tags.. lost another for name change, is the roommate Wendy or Beth ? you change name in same sentence several times, very confusing

Liked the idea, the execution needs some work.

Hot mess. You seemed to care for about a page, and it was a good story up to that point, but then it just went to shit. The crazy amount of typos and mixed up names were bad enough but the whole pace changed, it became more like a sketch or an outline than a story. 2 stars, could have been 4 but the last half was a shit show.

You need an editor desperately. Is it Wendy or Beth? Who is married to Brian? Spelling and grammar atrocious. Interesting concept but ruined by being unreadable.

An original and potentially very amusing, almost farcical, story-line, but the grammatical and naming errors really spoiled what could have been an interesting piece of work. As previous comments have said, your work is good, but it needs an editor to make the best out of it.

I enjoyed the story, but the writing pissed me off. It made reading the story work. So many errors! Get an editor, and if you think you have one, get a new one. Sorry, for me it’s a 3 that could easily be a 5.

Sorry, the premise may have been great but I couldn't do it. Had to ditch the effort after only half a page. I find it hard to believe a supposed editor would miss all of the grammatical, misspelled, and misused words. An earlier commenter called the writing atrocious. They were being kind.

I'm sure this was meant to be cure and ironic, but it came off just stupid and juvenile, and very disrespectful. Would you accept one of your children saying they were going to visit a friend, but they wouldn't identify the friend? But you think its OK for a spouse to do that? Ridiculous. And there's this sexual orientation that's called Bisexual. It might look gay to a close minded hetero, but give that got some prime pussy and he's banging the bitch like a stud, even while he's taking it up the ass from some gay partner. You might want to go to the mind store and get a broader model. And pickup a pound of reality while you're there. A wife expecting a husband to allow her to date someone, and a man who she won't identity? Absurd.

Engaging enough, but you really, REALLY need to proofread a few times before posting. Typos are one thing, but you switched from first to third person within the same sentence, and randomly switched out Beth and Wendy over and over, within the same damn paragraphs. That’s just lazy.

Lame story plot. And you can't remember if the woman's name is "Wendy" or "Beth" because you keep switching back and forth.

As for Dylan1's comments about proof readers--most of them probably write more than he does since his sentences are so disjointed. And you definitely need more than a proof reader--you need a professional editor.

Uh Uh, a loving wife would never do what she did - period! He should have put her ass back in the Fiat and told her he would see her when he got back home. Then, after arriving back home, told her he would have divorce papers served to her. " You fucked Billy once and gay guys can still fuck women if they want. You chose him over me once too many times. WE ARE DONE."

Hmmm not sure what to think about this story other than Tara is a bitch, would kick her to the curb. The ending was weak after all the tension of the first 3/4 of the story. 4 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Maybe Mike was fucking Beth while Wendy was fucking that other guy on the beach? Anyway, the lack of communication in this marriage is horrible. Why did Tara never tell Mike about being a beard for her gay friend? If the Tara character wasn't so stupid, this would have been a good story.

Ok, I AM one of the writers, even if posting anonymously here. First, get an editor or at least a proofreader. There are tools in the site that will help. Second, on a factual basis, you cannot get a Fiat at ORF. I live in the area, and ORF is my airport.. You can get a Chevy, Ford, Hyundai, believe it or not, Honda, and Chrysler. Some nearby, but not in the airport, places may offer others, and the is a place on South Military you can rent a Tesla, BMW, and maybe a Fiat, but an airport traveller isn't going to go that far. Uber would be a hell of an expensive trip from ORF to the border of Kitty awk and Nags Head. I know because I have a close friend who lives right there, near the Ace's Hardware store and the old Surroundings Bank (I think its a PNC now). The speed.limit is pretty much 45 and 55 almost the entire way. HOWEVER, and this is your Third.... You will NEVER get there in two hours on a major holiday weekend. It doesn't matter how fast you go. The two hour trip will take four hours. Been there, done that, waited in the traffic.

Fourth, and last.... She was having a full blown emotional affair. Her husband should have rightly been considering divorce. It doesn't matter if Billy is gay... When he asked her to stop, she should have stopped. Marriage is a compromise between two people, and every moment with Billy after he asked her to stop was cheating him out of.the emotional connection of their marriage. After the secret texts and saying no to him about spending tike, him trying to put his foot down and her blowing up should have resulted in calls for.marriage counselling. There is a reason why its called Irreconcilable Differences.

She was having an emotional affair. He should've walked away.

Storyline was ok. The writing itself was really bad.

Epilogue: Turns out Billy wasn't gay, it was all a ruse by him and cheating skank slut wife Tara. Her love was only for herself and she didn't care how badly she hurt Mike as long as she got what she wanted. It seems Billy plays the "gay" card with all kinds of stupid bimbo wives until he gets them in the sack. Tara was no exception. Billy was fucking her all along and leading her on to believe she'd be with only him one day. Eventually, Mike grew some balls and kicked the whore to the curb in a divorce. She went to Billy, a little sad about Mike but excited for her new life as a kept woman. When she arrived at his door, Billy laughed and laughed. "You stupid slut, I used you for my pleasure, but I only fuck married women. What makes you think I'd want to be married or live with a cheating slut? Hit the bricks bitch and don't ever come back." Tara was now divorced, alone and shunned by everyone. She only had one skill since she never worked a day in her life and she ended up turning tricks to make ends meet until the STD's got her.

Nice easy read, except for not knowing who Beth was and the end with her seeing the light and scrapping on the beach was different but good.

well written clever plot good ending

Who is Beth? I was stupid enough to keep reading to the end. 2 stars. He should have divorced her, especially now on their double ate with 2 gays. Storytlr, try again when you get a GOOD idea for a story. Waste of my time.

This is so convoluted it's hard to understand. I think your editor read a few paragraphs then decided it would be too much work to correct this mess.

More soap-opera than erotic story.

"The actual story was pretty good. The writing was atrocious. It was almost unreadable". Once again, miket0422 nails it. I usually overlook typos, as to dwell on them takes away from being in the story. But, when every other word is the wrong one, and the same girl gets 2 different names in ONE SMALL PARAGRAPH, that's too much. Please.....

So the beach fight… she attacks a woman on the beach and the guy she was riding lets it go? So was it mike and wendy on the beach?

I know others must have said something but this can not go unsaid several times, I have never seen a story with more mistakes. Now I'm also an author and it ticks me off when I write 10,000 words and a bunch of people jump on the fact that I mis-used one of them, but you have to read your work and pay attention.

Regardless of the need for an editor or beta reader the story is a good plot telling how a marriage can be damaged by selfish behavior. I don’t know if author intended but both Mike and Tara were selfish. Their communication was written as poor in the beginning and deteriorated as the story went along. As written Mike didn’t notice because he was getting what he wanted.

He should have divorced her, she cheated (emotionally), withheld information, and prioritized Billy over Mike. The only reason they stayed together was because of the great sex. A story about two stupid, emotionally stunted individuals who don't know what makes a relationship work.

All of the above comments are true and I would like to add my major peeve; way, way too many nouns. Mike said to Wendy, "xxxxx" and Wendy (or Beth) replied, "Yes Mike, " xxx". It's VERY jarring! That's why we have, he, she, they, we, them, their etc. etc.

Amusing. Interesting. Far more entertaining than the usual tripe posted here. 5

I'm so tired of the worn out stupidity that men that don't let their wives spread their legs for others are insecure. Sorry, but it's insecurity that makes them let their wife slut around. A secure man will tell her "NO!" in no uncertain terms and divorce the bitch if she spreads her legs anyway. No, Mike was the insecure male who let his wife do what she wanted because he didn't believe in himself enough to act like a man.

As for his wife, she is nothing but a whore. It doesn't matter that it was her husband paying. Any woman who exchanges sex for cash, Amazon purchases, etc is, by definition, a prostitute. It should have been no surprise to her husband that she wanted to expand her clientele. Even if you believe they didn't have sex, she still sold her body as it was there with Billy rather than with Mike. She claims she never denied him, but he only had to list the dates and times he was home alone and horny while she was out with her paying client to disprove that stupidity. Even if she put out when she got home, she still delayed it which is simply short term denial.

All-in-all it was a disappointing story. It's okay that she had a lengthy emotional affair because she had it was gay guy? Sorry, but no. Luckily for her, she's married to an insecure moron so she doesn't face any consequences for her betrayal beyond having some messages ignored.

I will also reiterate the suggestions below that you need an editor. I can at least understand missing a scene when renaming a character, but going back and forth in the same scene is simply unacceptable.

Get an EDITOR. Grammar and spelling can diminish a story.

Mike needs to dump the crazy bitch and move on. Tara is all about Tara. I noticed that Tara said "we" own a construction company but as near as I can tell she does absolutely nothing in it other than collect the benefits of it.

It was confusing enough already, then POV changes too, in a 3-page story? Just write third person ffs.

She deliberately lied (leaving out a name that she KNOWS he's going to respond negatively to is a lie) about the opera date, then it all went downhill from there. He shouldn't trust her, she's proven that. Just pull the eject lever, no telling what else she's kept from him over the years, more than happy to let him think, for a quarter century she was 'constantly blowing' a guy from her past, the same guy she goes to the opera with? Bitch is evil.

Many, many errors. Names, tense, spelling, pronouns, punctuation, etc. all mixed up. Good luck next time.

Fun story. Way too many editing errors. As others have already pointed out, mixing up names in consecutive sentences is just horrible: "Beth, you feel like taking a ride with me into town, Karen asked if I would pick up some ice, and we're out of Pina colada mix?" I was hoping Wendy would say yes.

I hope you've apologized to Vintage_DM for dragging his name into this mess.

It is a good story and an interesting read, but the errors knocked your scores badly. I won’t repeat the list—they have been covered very well, but next time try proof reading your work aloud—you’ll be surprised at the difference.

Thanks for the read! cd

what's wrong with opera? I guess some people just prefer Cat's.

Here, this will get you started: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWc7vYjgnTs

I think that there is a very good story within this first draft. It felt original and fresh. Please don't quit writing, just maybe edit it a bit?

It was a good story. I liked it. But, ... this is the problem. You made a lot of errors. People think I'm just picking on them when I complain about type-o's, misspellings or the wrong grammar, but when you are reading along, and you see and read those mistakes, it's the same as catching your toe on something and stumbling. You may not fall on your face, but you break your stride. All those trips take away from the overall story and I'm sure it hurts your score. If it had been cleaner, I probably would have given it 5-stars. Instead, I only gave it 4-stars.

Now, the fact that she was going out with her 'friend' and not spending time with her husband, even canceling planed events with her husband, so she could spend time with her gay friend. That was cheating. Even if no sex occurred, it was cheating. You can have emotional affairs that are just as damaging as sexual affairs. It's the giving of yourself to someone other than the one you pledged to forsake all others for in your vows. That's why we get married, so there is no misunderstanding.

And a lie by omission is just as bad as a lie of a complete fabrication. I think she got off, very, very, easy.

Needs editing and you need to learn to remember your characters names.

@ StoryTLR

A good base for a 5* story. Forgetting your Putative Loving Wife’s name is bad enough. (So many words in between.) But when you forget YOURSELF repeatedly within the same sentence, your opus is going to suffer. Add a buncha other WordSmith novice goofs and you just skimmed by with 3 stars.

LIT has a (free for authors) group of editors that can help you (better help if you park your ego at the door, but we do try to keep in mind that the author is whom we are helping.)

Still leaves one big question unanswered, why should he trust her? She’s proven she’s willing and able to lie to his face. I don’t see any indication she won’t do it again the next time she wants something he doesn’t.

This just might be the worst piece of writing on LW ever.

Was it Wendy or was it Beth ?

What was the right name ?

You need an editor to catch these errors...

The usual “I’m going on a date” Loving Wives story has a wife intent on having some extramarital sex who expects her husband will accept it despite all evidence to the contrary. And then is desolate when she realizes he is done with her. That is nonsensical!

On the other hand, a wife with a male friend is realistic and does not lead inevitably to divorce. As a story premise it is far superior, although I don’t think it likely that a husband would accept keeping the friend’s identity a secret.

"I never realized how upset Mike was getting at me . . .but I just blew it off." - If she had to blow it off, then she had to realize how upset he was.

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"Mike statement started angry me?" - Is English not your first language? Try, "Mike['s] statement ang[ered] me."

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He should go out the next time he picks Tara up and lay down the law.

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"two-piece bikini" - A bikini by definition is two-piece.

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"Beth, you feel like taking a ride with me into town. . . I was hoping Wendy would say yes." - He asked Beth, but hoped that Wendy would say yes?

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"I didn't notice how much I was neglecting you." - He only told her over and over again.

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@Buster2U, "Great writing?" It was nearly unreadable.

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@dmann, actually, it was Tara became Teri. Actually, editors to much more than spell check. If that's all they did the authors could do that themselves. Editors check for grammar, punctuation, and yes, story logic.

Did NOT see that coming. 🤣

Um … I figured out Tara, Jill, Karen, and Wendy, but who was “Beth”? Was “Beth“ supposed to be “Wendy“?

I couldn’t figure out what it meant that “Wendy was working overseeing when Karen got married.” Oversees? And then Wendy tells Mike that she knew he was “here along." Alone? Please don’t make your readers try to figure out what you meant to say, but didn’t. Get someone to give you a good proofreading before you post please.

This is totally teenagers' bull crap. Both need to grow up. You forgot to bring a lesbian, a black stud, and a transgender swimmer into the story. Thanks for the effort.

I liked it. Once in a while its nice to have a story that does not end up with a level 10 cuck or a wife that needs BTB treatment.

If this has been edited I dread to think what it was like before. You called 2 characters by different names. Went from first person to third, in the same sentence. Try reading it out loud because the errors are really obvious.

So is Beth a nickname for Wendy? You need an editor / proofreader big time. Did you even read the story before posting it?

Guess I won't be trying to make sense out of any more of your unreadable drivel!!

A bit confused…what exactly was the relationship between Beth and Wendy? Were they both former college roommates or Karen? Which one did Mike sleep with? They both came to visit the beach house?