All Comments on 'I Kissed a Girl'

Excellent story. Not exactly as I would write it, but still excellent. 10 stars, because it was so good. You have good insight, and I appreciate your thoughts. Don't second-guess yourself. Write for your own pleasure. More, please. I look forward to your stories.

The BEAR

Not too shabby. A slightly different plot to the 'I've only ever been with you darling, and I want to see what another man would be like?' it was quite refreshing really because we had a woman who actually thought she was doing the right thing by her future husband, and perhaps she was? She just seemed to go about it the wrong way.

The story was well written and described, the characters and their actions realistic. Yes, Sandy was stupid but if you're not sure it's best to wait. Though I do think if you need or give three months for one party to decide, then the whole thing is built on weak foundations. But that's just my opinion.

A decent tale, thought provoking and nothing too extreme. Sometimes a wife, or in this case a girlfriend will do the wrong thing, but for the right reasons, and she doesn't have to be burned to the ground. Which brings me to my one complaint: and thats the clichéd epilogue, it just seemed like a weak offering to the BTB boys. Otherwise thanks.

A well written story about a very confused character. It is difficult for some men to be married to bisexual women. It does work, but it is difficult. From how you wrote both characters I can't really see these character being happy together.

Way too real world though. thanks

Liked because of what you shared directly with us. I agree with your comment about BTB storylines, less so RAAC storylines. The former almost invariably shoehorned into the same space. Yet, it’s the usually anonymous comments that cement the difference. And I would argue that in a well crafted LW piece that involves reconciliation it is both who must come to grips with why the betrayal and what to do moving forward. To put the “load” on the cheater (invariably the wife) is to subscribe to the all too typical LW mindset. In many ways your story about Luke and Sandy follows script: near perfect male who is outraged and confronts woman, cannot fathom understanding the behavior of someone he purports to love and of course finds true happiness while the female wrestles with her orientation (better now than latter), does something wrong, namely not being honest with Luke, cannot articulate her feelings when confronted, and now destined to live an unhappy life.

Glad hubby had balls and common sense although he was a little slow on the uptake. Good job!

A RAAC is simpler and sillier than even a BTB. Just say: - I forgive you and let's continue our wonderful life together.

A reconciliation has to involve more nuances, more subtleties, more effort.

And a "good" reconciliation is something really difficult to write, because I think every reader has his or her own almost obligatory steps or standards.

Personally, it should include

1)at the very least, a separation or rather a divorce following a betrayal and the breaking of commitments and loss of trust

2) significant reflection on one's desires and goals in life, and the changes that the betrayal has brought about. (Change of job, change of place of residence, desire to travel, sporting challenge, cultural discovery, change of behavior by being tougher, more distrustful, more disillusioned, more intransigent......)

3) the search for potential new partners, as the old one has clearly failed,

4) a slow reconnection with the ex-partner, starting from scratch, with doubts and fears, making advances and progress and then setbacks, before finally committing fully.

Reconciliation has to be chosen, has to require willingness, sacrifice and effort on the part of both partners.

One partner will have to make amends and alleviate his or her guilt, while the other will have to regain confidence and self-esteem.

It wasn't right for her to cheat, but what she says makes alot of sense to me. Her questioning her sexuality was keeping her from marrying him. She figured it out and chose a life with him. What happened to, "I could forgive you being drunk and making a one time mistake", A standing line in cheating wife stories. It's really too bad. I think it involving a woman makes a difference, looking at her dilemma.

I appreciate comments after story - indeed to imagine and make believable reconcilaition is very difficult ... especially in real life

Surprisingly, this was really good. Wish it was fleshed out a bit more.

A well crafted tale, with some subtlety and nuance (a rare thing here at the LW swamp these days!).

5 stars from me, but more for your thoughtful and engaging epilogue, than the story, solid as it was. I think you could have built a satisfying reconciliation into this story, but my instinct is that the bi plot line just makes it that much more difficult and murky to elucidate on motivations and build empathy with the reader (not due to sexuality but contextually). To bring plausibility you’d have to succeed in articulating Sandy’s emotional and psychological makeup, a task even the best authors have here rarely succeed at, especially when orientation and gender are in the mix. I hope you manage it in future and I look forward to watching you develop and progress as a writer.

I was going to finish there but rereading the paragraph where you mention your intention to write a reconciliation story got me thinking (reminiscing?) about the types of stories that were very common in the early years of Lit, and that I enjoyed reading most. They are hard to find now and I suspect were mostly posted in EC, but the plot lines generally involved exploration and infidelity but without a context contrived from the puritanical and narcissistic. There was an adult dialogue and emotional maturity to the relationships which would be nice to see again… a favourite example is https://www.literotica.com/series/se/12927 I love this series, it can be a bit long on exposition, but I don’t care.

I need to stop! I just deleted four paragraphs of LW deconstruction, and this is not the place. I may be getting ahead of myself, but I got a really good vibe from your story and the epilogue, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you may take a similar path to some of the, in my opinion, best authors of the last few years - NoTalentHack, Patrickson, MajorRewrite (almost 10 years but very sporadic) and cigarettelion, the list is not exhaustive! What they seem to have in common is that they are all very accomplished writers who do not stick to one category and continue to improve with each submission.

Good luck with your future stories. Sorry to go on so, but it’s Sunday morning and perhaps for the first time in many decades I felt like a sermon 😁

To the point; BTB is indeed lazy, but you do have potential… if you learn to use conjunctions.

Thank you. I enjoyed the story. Mainly because it touched on a situation that others have also faced: questioning their sexuality. The reality of it hit me as I encountered an actual situation like this. I was an actor and had a dancer girlfriend. Part model, part dancer (ballet) Utterly stunning. Also very high libido. She could fuck me to a standstill! LOL. But she was honest with me and left me for a couple of fellow female dancers that she toured with. She had thought she was lesbian... then bisexual (we had a few threesomes) but decided that it was to be women only. Such is life!

The second part of the story, about her being selfish etc changed the direction of the story but still enjoyable. Cheers.

Thank you! I very much enjoyed the story.

From the story: “I find it a moot point. If you get stabbed, the priority is to treat the wound, not to prevent future stabbings.” What a completely accurate illustration! It is a perfect analogy for the “I won’t ever cheat again” excuse! Very well done!

I also enjoyed your post story commentary. I’m working on my first two stories, and it’s cool to read about your thought process - particularly about both the BTB and RAAC outcomes.

4/5 BRB

I believe that this should have been posted under Lesbian. Secondly, since they are never married and there are no other loving wives in the story, you've STILL got it in the wrong category. You simply posted it under LW to get more "views". Not good.

I loved that the lesson of this story was that a marriage between an impulsive and fairly selfish person and a person values judgements and decisions based on “us” rather than “me” would always be a risk. I think Luke made a good decision here, although I agree than sans the sexual cheating as a catalyst, he and Sandy might have made a go of it and even succeeded. Maybe.

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Really appreciated your afterward and thoughts. Your observation about character development being key to telling a successful reconciliation story I think is spot on. Good and BELIEVABLE reconciliation tales on Lit in LW or any category are few and far between. And all of the good ones have well developed characters in them that a reader can identify with…empathize with…and eventually root for.

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5 *****. And look forward to your reconciliation attempt!

As usual, alcohol is the root cause of the cheater screwing up. It's either drinking or drugs of some kind. How about writing a good story where neither is used. Let the cheater be stone cold sober when they cheat. Then decide whether to BTB or RAAC. I prefer BTB but, whatever. 3*

Keep writing. This was a good one. I like that it did give some character to the women.

Nice work. I wish to point out this was not a BTB, it was a "walk away from a toxic person." Which we are all free to do.

For me, the continuum covers RAAC -> RECONCILIATION -> WALK AWAY - BTB.

I don't like RAAC since it's contrary to my sense of fairness. BTB is often too simple and sometimes formulaic. But the authentic reconciliation is my favorite, but it's rare and I understand it must be damned hard to do.

I like the way you developed and presented the decision to break up because of the loss of trust.

Thanks for a good read.

From your closing comments, it appears that you believe everything that isn't reconciliation is BTB. Sorry, but that is simply not true. First of all, Dump/Divorce The B exists between true reconciliation and BTB. (For the record, this was a DTB story. There was no burning to be found.) Second, RAAC is a misnomer as it's not actually a reconciliation, as reconciliation requires both sides to work towards it. RAAC is nothing more than a surrender and acceptance.

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So, you have four subcategories for this type of story rather than just two. They are, ranging from absolute surrender to absolute revenge: RAAC, Reconciliation, DTB, & BTB.

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Writers who mislabel DTB stories as BTB are only hurting themselves by chasing off the folks who don't like BTB and disappointing the folks who do. Likewise, those who mislabel reconciliation stories as RAAC suffer the same fate.

No comment!

1. Good story. 5 stars!

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2. As others pointed out, this story isn't anywhere CLOSE to BTB. BTB is NOT a "not a reconciliation", it's a very defined concept where the offender gets **punished** (hence "burn") for their offense, in LW case usually cheating. Merely terminating a relationship isn't really a punishment, it's a baseline expectation.

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3. I have seen some reconciliation stories that were believable and convincing even for me (A convinced karma/justice fan who tends to heavily prefer BTB). But it's not an easy task to write well enough to warrant that. At a high level, my yardstick for such a story to be believeable is that I - as a reader AND the MC - am fully convinced that the offender in the future would ALWAYS put the MC's benefit and well being above hers; without any exceptions - AND that the pain she inflicted is both healed by her AND she gets to suffer pain WITHOUT MC feeling bad about her pain. All 3 litmus tests are difficult to believably write, the first one probably the hardest (no deus ex machina to serve as karma) and second one second hardest (how do you soothe the pain enough?).

Great story, and although it was not a btb, it was just as satisfying. He was obviously already having second thoughts about marrying this selfish child, and her cheating just put the final nail in her coffin.

I gave you a 4, but you need to learn to use pronouns correctly. For example, "their" is NOT a substitute for "her", no matter what semi-literate woketards may tell you. Lapsing into junk pronoun usage detracts from a story. It's worth fixing because your plot and character development were quite good, which is rare in LW. Thanks for the story!

Good story I liked how you developed it.

I'm looking forward to your reconciliation after the deepest betrayal. I think you can pull it off. The biggest hurdle is to get your audience rooting for the cheating wife and you have to do that without making the husband an asshole.

If she needs three months or three minutes to say yes, walk away immediately and permanently.

I agree that the premise has a history and is hard to find a new thread to tell it. However, I think your writing skills will produce some great articles and worthwhile reading. Thanks. 4 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Luke finally saw the light and got rid of the toxic Sandy. Good riddance to trash

Luke 5 Stars as You did the right thing . Think about this if the MC had taken the other MC back ? He would wonder why she is an hour late for the rest of his life . Maybe she cheated maybe she didn't who Wants to live like that ?

Just a quick FYI on English conversations.

"It is not quite like that... I will not say last night was a mistake, I enjoyed it and it helped me make up my mind... but I have realised that I am not a lesbian, and I would like to be faithful to my boyfriend from now on."

This kind of formality is not used in non-formal settings. It would be much more realistic to use contractions:

"It's not quite like that... I won't say last night was a mistake, I enjoyed it and it helped me make up my mind... but I've realised that I'm not a lesbian, and I'd like to be faithful to my boyfriend from now on."

You write quite well for someone whose native language is not English. And I really enjoyed the plot. While not actually a harsh BTB (in my opinion), the character of Luke had a very rational, almost calm way of dealing with the situation.

Also, I'd echo what anonymous before me wrote: In American English (I won't speak for all English-speaking countries) the conversational tone becomes much more informal. It's quite uncommon to find someone who does not use contractions in conversation.

In fact, a television series I enjoyed, "Longmire" had Filipino-American actor Lou Diamond Phillips playing the character of a Native American named Henry Standing Bear. What was notable was that he delivered his lines without contraction (and in a calm, measured pace) that gave his words gravitas.

This can also be a literary device when writing, should a character need to express a serious idea. In this story, Sandy is upset and trying to make Luke understand, so she'd speak rapidly and with contractions. But Luke is angry, serious, and struggling to remain calm, so he speaks slowly, seriously, and without using contractions.

Just an idea I had to illustrate how and why a conversation such as this might take place. Keep writing, I like the plots and characterizations you create.

I hope you are continuing to read the comments. I find your work insightful and entertaining. I hope you are not discouraged by the mediocre comments and ratings you have received so far. I feel you are on the cusp of a great story and hope you will continue your contributions.

I really see his point and I think that is a very valid reason not to marry that girl.

Quite the selfish girl and she lost it all.

He is a dumbass.

If he really loved her he would find it in his heart to forgive her.

Actually she probably would make a very good wife.

She would feel grateful at his forgiveness and she didn't even had another dick!

You need a beta reader.

I recommend Blackrandle1958, she will definitely share her strong opinions 🤬.

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AMerryman