I Know What I'm Doing Ch. 04

His skin was hot. I slipped my hands beneath his t-shirt and ran my palms along his back and sides. He moaned into my mouth, planting his hands on either side of my head. I stretched out completely and squeezed his hips again. He pressed his pelvis into mine, deepening the kiss even more.

I came up for air, "Ethan... Baby, we need to stop."

His lips roamed along my jaw before dipping down to my throat. I felt his teeth clamp down on the base of my neck and it was like a shot of energy directly to my cock. Shit, I was harder than I'd ever been. I'd told myself I would behave until we got home, but fuck...

I shoved my hands down the back of his cargo pants and pulled him to me as I thrust forward, "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

He lifted his face to mine, "Show me."

I captured his lips again, losing my last grip on sanity. I shifted to my side, roughly rolling him beneath me. He looked up at me in surprise, then smiled at the burning need he saw in my eyes. I pulled his t-shirt over his head and off him. There he was, all mine. I dipped my head and enclosed one of his nipples with my lips, immediately sucking hard. His hips bucked, then again when I stroked the nub with my tongue.

He was moaning so sweetly by the time I moved to the other one that my sole goal became making him scream my name. He sank his fingers into my hair and held on tightly; my baby was soaring, so free. I growled in approval. But then my hand faltered on its way down to unbutton his pants – the limo had come to a stop. I looked out the window, chest heaving. We were home.

I looked back down at Ethan's pleading grey eyes, "Fuck."

The driver climbed out and came to tap on our window, "Mr Montgomery?"

"Yeah, hang on," I responded, grimly passing Ethan his t-shirt.

His cheeks had gone pink and he looked so cute I had to turn away while he pulled his t-shirt back on. I got my breathing under control before turning back to him. His cheeks were rosier. Fuck it. I grabbed him and kissed him again.

"Aiden," he pulled back, "we should really go. The driver-"

"Can wait a damn minute," I barked emphatically.

"There's a bed inside," he pointed out rationally.

"Right," I opened the door and hopped out.

The driver tipped his cap lightly as I tugged a disheveled Ethan out after me, "Hope the trip was to your satisfaction, sir."

I grinned at him, "Not yet, but it's about to be."

"Of course, sir."

"Aiden!" Ethan was the colour of a ripe strawberry and gawking at me.

I unlocked the front door and let the unfazed chauffeur deposit our bags in the foyer. After one more tip of the hat, he left, softly shutting the door behind him. Ethan was looking around as if he was seeing the house for the first time. His cheeks were still pink.

He turned to me, "It feels different. I actually feel like I belong here."

"You've always belonged here with me."

He reached up and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. I learned a crucial lesson in that moment: I was in love with a man who could get me to do absolutely anything for another one of those kisses. I cherished our nascent commitment, our emotional connection.

Again I pulled back before we could get carried away, "We need to go upstairs and freshen up. I have a surprise for you."

"Can't it wait?" he complained.

"It can – but I can't. Go on, we only have about three hours before the sun sets."

I was trying to be casual but I think my newly mounting nervousness revealed itself anyway. He scrutinized my face for a minute before relenting. I picked up our bags and led him up the stairs. In the master suite I dropped our bags on my leather couch and turned to him. Ethan was standing in the doorway, inspecting the room. I looked around at what he saw: king-sized bed, thick carpeting, burgundy drapes, leather couch, dark mahogany furniture, light walls and sunlight filling the large space.

I went to him pulled him inside. A tall, narrow bookcase stood behind the couch, flanked by a plant and floor lamp. He started there, running his fingers along the rich wood, down to the couch. After that he walked around touching everything before coming to stand in front of me once more.

"During my first week here," he started, "I fell in love with your house because I could see how much of yourself was invested in it. It made me wonder what your bedroom looked like, what you looked like in it, in bed."

"Our bedroom," I corrected softly. "And I'd love nothing more than to spend the next few days showing you what we could both get up to in that bed."

I kissed him then. Because I could; because I wanted him to know he was welcome in all my most intimate spaces; because he tasted of strawberries and I was addicted... I slipped my fingers through his black hair and pressed his lips to mine when I wanted the kiss to deepen. I felt his promise to be mine in the way he clung to me as I demanded more.

I pulled his t-shirt off again. Then I pulled mine off as well, because I hated having barriers between us. I watched him as his breath caught at the sight of my scars. He kissed the knot of flesh above my heart. The lighter cuts and bruises would fade, but that one was here to stay. I cupped his cheek and pressed him to my heart. I wanted him to know I wore that scar with pride and joy. Each day I wake with it would be another day I get to celebrate Ethan being here and being mine.

That's what I wanted to him to know when I kissed him again; when I undid his pants and slipped them off along with his underwear; when I lifted him and carried him to our bed. That's what I told him with my tongue, my eyes and my hands. That's what I vowed without saying a word. And I know he understood because, for once, he let me explore him to my heart's content.

I lay beside him pinning his hands in one of mine while sucking on his neck. When I let go so I could crouch above him, he kept his hands there, surrendering completely. I could see that he had no idea how sexy a picture he made. I ran my hands down his chest, watching him closely. His breath caught when my fingers traced his lightly defined abs – so that's where I chose to put my tongue. His erection stood, throbbing and red, between us. I couldn't wait to get to it.

"Oh, shit..." his hips bucked beneath me. "Oh, shit, I need you..."

"You have me," I husked before finally easing the head of his cock between my lips.

His scent drove me crazy, sweet yet raw and completely consuming. It matched the taste of him. I slid my tongue along his warm cock, sucking him further into my mouth. My lips gliding over his smooth hardness made him cry out. Or maybe it was the sensation of his penis bumping the back of my throat. I eased up a little to keep from gagging, but quickly dove back down when I felt him pull his hips back. I loved the warmth and sweetness of him in my mouth and I wasn't letting him go anywhere. He was mine.

"No, baby, baby, love... I'm gonna-" another cry cut into his pleading.

High on the endearments falling from his lips, I sank down further than before. Again his head stroke at my throat's entrance, but this time I concentrated on relaxing. I didn't have all of him in and probably wouldn't know how to for a while but, damn, was I going to love trying. I felt his fingers in my hair and realised he was trying to pull me off him as his hips began to buck uncontrollably.

Fuck me, his frenzied cries were hot.

I shifted between his legs so that he was forced to widen them. Then I cupped his balls in one hand, rolling and firmly stroking them. And, once more, I lowered my mouth on his throbbing erection. My own, aching to be inside him, was pressed to the covers, pulsating in time with my pounding heart. I ignored it, wanting to focus solely on Ethan and his pleasure.

"Damn oh damn oh damn, I need you," his heels were braced as I let him thrust into my mouth and throat. He didn't jackhammer away as I'd expected, but he wasn't being slow about it either.

Deliberate, that's the word. He was gliding in and out with the focus of one savouring every second and every sensation. He sought his pleasure, his climax, with determination. I lifted my gaze to find him watching me sucking and licking him. He tugged at my hair at the same time that his thrusts sped up, showing me the depth he liked. His lips started moving, but it was some time before tangible words came out. Pleas.

"Love, you have to let me- I can't- I need... I'm gonna, oh, I'm gonna..." another cry escaped as his hips bucked faster.

Still I sucked up and down the length of him, resolutely sinking the tip of his cock into the entrance of my throat, all the while grinding my own hardon into the bed. My eyes, still on his, picked up the exact moment he realised what I wanted, the reason why I resisted each time he tried to pull me off him. The very instant it dawned on him that I wanted him to come in my mouth. The knowledge made him lose control and I let him. He reared. Precum coated my tongue as he fucked my mouth. A sheen of sweat glistened on his skin, on his clenched abs. I inhaled through my nose and sank down one last time, taking him inside me – and, finally, he screamed my name.

I reached up and pinched his nipples, twisting them hard as the first spurt of salty sweetness hit my throat – and simultaneously he pulled at my hair, driving the rest of his orgasm into me. I watched him the whole time, swallowing his essence and marveling at how uninhibited he was. I wanted him to feel this free all the time.

His thrusts slowed then stilled, but his breathing took longer to calm down. I watched his gasps burst from between his swollen lips. His hair was disheveled, some of it sticking to the sweat on his forehead. I grinned; I'd done all this to him.

"I told you, you have me," I said.

"No," he responded, breathlessly, "I meant that I need to feel you inside me."

I froze. He met my eyes shyly then slowly looked down to my erection. I wanted him. I'd had planned to take my time with him, not rush things. He hadn't been with anyone in a long time and I'd done enough reading over the summer to know we'd need to ease into sex to keep from hurting him. I'd decided to focus on romancing him for a while. But, fucking hell, I wanted him.

"I don't want to hurt you," I told him.

"I've wanted you for months now, Aiden. Making me wait would hurt me more than anything else. Besides, I might not have been with anyone in a while, but I do have-" His eyes suddenly bulged and his lips snapped shut.

My curiosity was stirred, "What? What do you have, baby?"

His cheeks had to feel like they were on fire. He mumbled incoherently before rolling over and burying his blush in the pillows. I cocked my head at his back. This had to be good. I crawled up the bed and over him, supporting my weight on my forearms. My legs embraced his and my cock nestled teasingly on his firm arse.

I kissed his shoulder, "What do you have, Ethan?"

He turned his face towards the windows, "I can't believe I'm telling you this..."

"You haven't told me anything yet."

"And I'd really like to keep it that way."

"What do you have?"

"A dildo."

I stared at the back of his head – that was not an answer I'd expected. Images flashed through my mind; sizzling, tantalising images that made my dick lurch. I brushed my nose along the length of his neck, inhaling his scent of sex and excitement.

"Where is it?"I whispered.

"With my stuff."

"In your bags?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I want to see it."

"No."

"I want to watch you tease yourself."

"I couldn't."

"I want you to show me what turns you on so I can-"

"God, Aiden..."

"Tell me about the last time you used it."

"I can't..."

"You were hot, weren't you, baby?"

"Oh, God..."

"Horny?"

"Yes."

"You were naked? In bed?"

"Yes."

"Tell me."

"I... I touched myself. My nipples are so sensitive, so I..."

"You pinched them? You like a little pain, baby?"

"Yes..."

"What next? Tell me more, I want to hear it all, baby. What else did you do?"

"I..."

"You were hard?"

"Yeah."

"And what were you thinking about? Tell me what turns you on."

"You..."

Fuck. I buried my face in the valley between his shoulder blades. He'd brought me to the brink of coming with one fucking word. His scent enveloped me and I couldn't resist reaching my tongue out to trace a long line up his spine. The small tremor I felt increased the urge to taste him. I bit into his shoulder, aggressively, making him cry out.

He moaned while I explored his skin all the way down his back, but never once moved. I was mindless with wanting him, wanting to be buried inside him. I reached for a pillow then positioned myself between his legs. One forceful pull at his hips lifted them high enough for me to push the pillow in beneath him. And without another thought I buried my face in the tenderest part of him.

Ethan howled erratically then whimpered and pushed back at me as I licked him. It was the taste of earthy sensuality and dark spice that had me worshipping him till my jaw ached. I pushed my tongue inside him, teaching him a language of love that he babbled fervently back to me. When his hips began a primal dance, seeking satisfaction, I pushed a saliva-slickened finger into his glistening entrance.

It entered smoothly and soon I added another. I slid them in and out of his warmth, stimulating more thrusting. The way he moved was driving me crazy. I clamped a hand on his hip and laid my forehead against the small of his back. His heat made my dick jump again. Gods, my baby was hot.

He buried his face in his folded arms and spread his legs wide. Oh, fuck. The sight of his absolute surrender wiped out the last of my control. He growled at me when I pulled my fingers from their new favourite place. I smiled at his incoherent protest.

The moment the head of my erection pushed at his softness, he stilled. I could feel his breaths deepen and expand until it felt like he was keeping both of us alive. When his body welcomed me in, my cry drowned out his sighs. I slowly slid home.

I pulled out just as slowly, only to push in again, harder, deeper... gods. I stroked at his center, steadily pushing faster and revelling in the increasing slickness. Looking down, taking in the sight of our joining was my undoing. Seeing him tightly wrapped around me and my cock totally buried in the man who was now my whole world, made me haul him back fervidly so I could reinforce our fusion. I held him securely and rotated my hips as my dick glided in one more time.

Ethan's head snapped up, "Baby. Oh damn, love, yes, there! There, love, yes, oh!

Intoxicated by the shredded cries filling the room, I intensified our rhythm, letting his fervour guide me. His passion fueled mine to the point where it felt like we were passing the heat back and forth between us. He begged me to take him, own him, and I struggled to find the words to tell him that he already owned me, body and soul. So I fucked him with all I had.

His back arched, "OH!!"

I curled one arm around his chest, the other around his waist and held him close. He raised one arm and wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, gripping firmly for leverage. I pressed my cheek to his, thrusting ever faster as he nuzzled me. Ah... FUCK. His orgasm was a thing of beauty. His hair fell in his eyes and his lips formed endless vows as he shot his release onto the bed.

I buried myself inside him and let go. Sweat trickled crookedly down the back of my neck. All that I was exploded and fused with him and I hugged him to me, hoping he felt it. Hoping he knew. Desperate for him to understand. I held him and filled him, handing him my heart again and again.

When our strength left us, Ethan fell forward and stretched out languidly. I missed him the moment I was no longer inside him, but settled for lying on my side, facing him. His hair was like flowing ink on the white pillows.

I kissed his flushed cheek, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

*

"Doesn't it make more sense to go tomorrow?" Ethan, freshly showered, lay on the bed I'd just remade. "I mean, there's only about an hour left before sunset. If we go tomorrow, we can spend the whole day down there. I know you'd love that, all day in the water and the sunshine and the... beachy stuff. And, by the way, aren't you a little overdressed?"

I finished buttoning up my shirt and tugged him up and into my arms, "Indulge me."

He gulped, staring at my lips, "Okay."

Ten minutes later, I took Ethan's hand and led him out the back door and across the garden. He grumbled something about turning into a beachbum as I unlocked the hidden gate that opened onto the beach trail. We were both barefoot. I watched him trek down ahead of me, noting what a strange-looking couple we made. Ethan was right. I was a little overdressed in the tailor-made charcoal pants and black shirt I'd chosen. It was the sort of outfit that would make my mother snap pictures. And it stood out even more because of Ethan's red board shorts and SpongeBob t-shirt.

The ten-minute walk felt shorter than usual.

All too soon we were at the bottom, working our way around the giant boulders that concealed the path from the rest of the beach and stepping onto the warm sand. I couldn't stop my fingers from tightening their grip on Ethan's. I was getting edgy again.

"Okay, I take it all back," he was looking around the little corner of paradise I'd brought him to. "I can see why you love this beach so much – it's beautiful. I can't believe you own- What's that over there? Is that..?"

His step faltered as he pointed towards the water's edge, "Is that a picnic? You organised all this as a surprise? For me?"

I didn't say a word. I simply tugged him with me as I headed for the setup near the gently lapping waves. I was grateful to Dan for coming through for me as promised. All I'd asked for was a simple basket on a blanket. For the longest time, I've been hounded by the fantasy of feeding Ethan strawberries at sunset. The nearer we got to the picnic, the closer I watched recognition slowly dawn in Ethan's silver eyes.

"That's... my striped blanket from varsity! You kept it?"

"You told me to," I replied simply.

Ethan stepped onto his old blanket and sank down to his knees. That day, five years ago, rose up around us. For countless blinks it was as real as the heat in my chest; then it all faded back into the present. The amazement in Ethan's eyes when he looked up at me spoke volumes. And I understood why.

The simplicity of my response was belied by the five-year gesture. Keeping the blanket revealed a whole lot that my words could never downplay. It showed I'd felt something on that day, despite my protests and denials. It showed I hadn't stopped thinking about him in five years. Mostly it was unmistakable proof of the fact that he meant more to me than anyone else ever had.

I knelt before him and, because the timing felt perfect, I pulled the little black box from my pocket. Ethan gaped as I lifted the velvet lid. A platinum band with three black diamonds sat within – midnight and stormy grey, the hues of my love.

Strangely, my nervousness left me then, "Ethan, you have taught me so much about courage, freedom and love. You've given me life. And I want nothing more than to share all I've become with you. Will you marry me?"

He flew into my arms so fast, he nearly knocked me over, "Yes! In a heartbeat, yes!"

I hugged him, trying my best to breathe through the pounding of my heart. Ethan eventually pulled back and I held his ring up again. He demurely asked me to put it on his middle finger, promising to move it to his ring finger once we'd said our vows. I kissed his palm. When I showed him the date inscribed inside the band, his brow creased as he tried to work out its significance.