I Should Can and Will at Least Try

And that which I always thought as mine, and mine alone, was being admired by my best friend in whose lap I was lying upon. It still felt wrong, and sinful, but by whose judgment? As Rita on screen kissed Demarcus's belly, the Rita above me asked, "Should we stop?"

I shook my head and took her hand that was not stroking my hair, and clasped it to my chest. "No, I get it. I think I am okay. It was a long time ago."

Demarcus's long, dark shaft, his penis, throbbed, as Rita lifted his leg over her and he rested it on the floor behind her. Rita's small hands could barely encircle his shaft, the girth of which must be at least twice Jason's. The difference was so dramatic. Rita climbed back up on the bed between his legs and pulled her dress over her head. Her breasts, maybe the size of oranges, were pert and with prominent, dark-chocolate nipples. She brought his penis against her stomach and it reached up between her breasts.

"I forgot just how big he is," Rita softly reminisced.

I looked away from the video and up at my friend. "That's not normal?"

Rita's head gave a series of short quick shakes of dismissal. "Anything but, anything but. Jason is normal, maybe a bit above normal."

I looked back at the screen, where Rita was stroking my husband (wrong! Wrong. Wrong? No!). I knew the length of my husband, which was most of my forearm. I let go of Rita's hand and brought my elbow against her waist and looked at its length, my hand comfortably stretching up between her breasts. Looking at it in real life, made it even bigger. "How could it fit?"

She broke her focus on the screen and looked down on me, my hand still against her. Embracing my forearm with her hand, she responded, "Well, it didn't. He was so thick I could not even get the head in. I mean, I am a small person, and nothing about your husband is small."

Her eyes went back to the screen. I continued to look at her. Rita had once tried to fit my husband in her. Her most intimate parts had rubbed against his. But there was no malice, only kindness. Part of me was jealous, but jealousy was a sin, and a sin that should drive no wedge between us. Part of me felt self-righteous, but that was the same part of me that was taught that I should not go to college. What was left that made me afraid of all of this? Her hand felt soft on my skin and her fingers. Be like Serena, I thought, as I turned back to the screen.

Rita was teasing my husband's cock with her tongue, and letting saliva run down it. At first, I thought it gross, but I had done the same and her hand, now lubricated, slid with ease. I could not see Demarcus's face, but his rigid length (why the euphemisms?) clearly showed his appreciation. Serena was taking most of Jason into her mouth, and her hands cradled the soft sack beneath. Both men were entranced.

I always loved when I was doing that to Demarcus. I imagined now, that I was Rita, and my husband's cock, yes cock, was against me. I started to get drawn into the moment as did Rita. I felt Rita start to slide her hand on me, as if it was Demarcus's penis. I started to pull back, but stopped myself; it felt good. The touch of a kind and giving person, who you trust feels wonderful, I reminded myself. Tentatively, I let my left hand start to stroke her calf through her jeans.

Rita took Serena's free hand, and placed it under her own hand and she reached over to stroke Jason's thighs. "Jason, I want you inside of me," Rita gasped. Serena gathered herself, sitting back, and Rita moved to straddle Jason. With Serena embracing her from behind, Rita slid onto Jason's shaft and Serena began to massage Rita's breasts, rubbing her nipples with her thumbs. Rita smiled, that wide smile showing all of her teeth that I love so much. Rita's stomach muscles twitched and rippled, as she began to piston herself up and down, while her left hand pulled Serena's lips to hers.

Demarcus kissed Jason's neck, and then let his lips glide down to one of his nipples, while a thumb toyed the other one.It felt wrong to see Demarcus pleasuring a man, but, again, I could not give any reason for it to be wrong. Again, Rita's words echoed in my head, "I think we all found great joy and satisfaction in giving pleasure to others, no matter their gender." I thought of how excited Demarcus would be, after massaging me to an orgasm, even though I had never touched him. I had always assumed it was because he loved the look and feel of my body, but then I realized it must be more. That made perfect sense, for I knew that I got excited whenever I brought ecstasy to him, so why would he be any different? "Did Jason and Demarcus ever do stuff just by themselves?" I asked.

Rita shrugged, still engrossed in the scene on the TV. "Maybe, never asked. Not too important to me, either. Jason, I know, has been just with men a few times. Usually, just helping each other masturbate, and maybe some oral sex, but neither of us are into anal, so he never did that. So it really bothers you?"

"I don't know, I guess not. What you said about finding joy in giving pleasure to others really resonated." I looked at her hand still gliding back and forth on my arm.

Rita looked down at me, "And it is especially true when giving it to a person you really care about."

He gave it up for me; I should at least try it.

He gave it up for me; I can at least try it.

He gave it up for me; I will at least try it!

I slid my hand up and cradled Rita's head, feeling her hand that was caressing my arm slide down past my elbow to my bicep. She smiled softly, and slid free the hand I still clenched, and moved it behind my head. We pulled each other in and kissed. It was not a chaste kiss, but it was not a spit-swapping, tongue-wrestling match. Our tongues skated and skimmed along the outside of each other's lips. Her mouth was so much smaller than Demarcus's, and for my second kissing partner, she could not be so different. My lips were a mere morsel for a mouth the size of Demarcus's, but now I was the one whose mouth was larger. Her lips were full, like Demarcus's, but smaller and smoother. The kiss lingered, and although not changing in intensity, the feelings it elicited in me, slowly shifted from anxiety and excitement to sensuous pleasure and comfort.

My hand slid from behind her head to the side of her neck, so small and smooth. Her right hand let go of my arm and moved to my neck. This was supposed to feel wrong, and at some level it did, but it felt wonderful and safe. However, like heated water under pressure, my anxiety started to bubble up again. Part of me wanted to run screaming from the room in embarrassment. My willpower clamped down hard on the anxiety and, just like I would do were I nervous on the basketball court, I pushed hard in the opposite direction. My left hand left her calf and covered the hand on her neck, gently interlacing her fingers with mine, and then I slid her hand down to my left breast. Whereas Demarcus's hand smothers my small B-cup breasts, Rita's only half covered it. Her hand circled it gently, her touch muted by the sports bra I wore beneath my t-shirt. I released her hand to continue to explore, so I could return to her leg, but this time just above the knee.

Rita broke the kiss. "I don't want to stop this, I really don't want to stop this for so many reasons. I have daydreamed about kissing you so many times. Also, I know if we stop, you might never want to start again," she took a deep breath and sighed before continuing, "but we have to stop. First, we need to stop BECAUSE you might not start again. More importantly, I really do not think Demarcus would have a problem with this, but he needs to know before it happens."

I pursed my lips in annoyance, the annoyance aimed at me, rather than my friend. How could I have started this without talking to him? "I'm so thoughtless and so dumb. I just...Rita, he gave this all up for a decade. The least I could do is try it, and I just...yeah, I am afraid I won't be able to start again if we stop, but we have to stop."

I sat up, and Rita gave me a friendly pat on the leg. "We stop for now, and the ball is in your court. We can just forget that this ever happened and never mention it again. However, if you want to explore, talk to Demarcus and Olivia, I am always here for you if you need anything at all."

I, suddenly feeling shy, smiled at her awkwardly and nodded. We both turned our attention back to the screen where the VCR tape still played.

Jason was climaxing and Rita, with one of Serena's hands on her breasts and the other rubbing Serena's nub and Jason's penis at the same time, was not far behind. They both shuddered through orgasms. Rita panted, smiled down at Jason, and then directed her gaze to Demarcus. "I think someone still needs some relief." She looked over her shoulder at Serena. "I know you have had eyes on him for a while."

Serena gave a long, lingering, hungry look along the length of Demarcus's body. His shaft was long, thick and twitching in anticipation. Serena smiled, as her eyes drifted back up his body to reach his eyes, "Do you want to do this fast or slow?"

I could not see Demarcus's face, but in my mind, I could see his soft expression as he responded, "Slow, and let me see that beautiful body as much as possible." I looked at her body in appreciation. Her breasts were high and round and her stomach taut and flat. A triangle of neatly shaved pubic hair was framed by her slim-but-very-muscular thighs. Her skin was not as pale as mine, and almost looked tanned, but as she slid over to Demarcus, she looked so pale against his deep dark, almost purple skin. The contrast did not end there. Her face was round, with slightly almond-shaped eyes sitting to either side of a petite, button nose. Her long, dark, straight hair flowed about her. Demarcus's face was not visible, but I pictured his perfect, sharp, African cheekbones; large, open, deep-brown eyes. His mouth was wide, giving him a smile that filled his face, whereas Serena's mouth was small and her lips naturally pursed.

Jason dismounted the camera, and took it in hand positioning it, so as to capture Serena, as she nestled herself, kneeling, between Demarcus's spread legs. Her hands caressed his thighs and she arched her back slightly, so her breasts sat even higher. She knew well how beautiful her body was, and was quite willing to show it. Soon, her hands were at the top of his thighs. He spread his legs wider, and her thumbs traced that delicate little hollow at the very top of his inner thighs. Demarcus responded, moaning.

Serena smiled seductively, head down, her eyes looking up into Demarcus's eyes. "You made me beg; do you want me to make you beg?"

I respected, envied and was awed by her confidence.

Demarcus, eyes closed in focused pleasure, nodded.

Rita, off camera, asked, "Do you want all of us or just the two of you?"

Serena hesitated, not wanting to offend, being the new one to the group. Demarcus opened his eyes and looked at Rita, "Just us, but let me look at you both. His eyes walked up and down the lithe body, and the camera turned to do its own walk over Rita's rich-brown, taut body. The camera returned to Serena whose fingers were tracing gentle curves along Demarcus's sack. I could see the balls inside, moving of their own accord in response, and his penis kept twitching.

My attention moved away from her hands to his penis. I had a new admiration for it, now that I knew it was not the norm.

Serena traced an index finger along the underside of his penis. It was nearly as thick as her wrist, as it continued to twitch under her ministrations. One index finger stroking up and down the underside, and the other index finger traced the outline of his penis on his abdomen, barely brushing the side. Once done tracing the outline, the finger reversed course, and as her other finger reached the base again, she placed her thumb and finger around him and, with no pressure, resumed sliding up and down.

Demarcus groaned. Serena kept her fingers moving, but a slight look of consternation crossed her face, as she looked upon his prodigious size. "Rita, I think I might need some help. I can't fit this beautiful cock anywhere."

Demarcus stepped in, before Rita could respond, "Don't worry. No one can fit me. I will still thoroughly enjoy myself. I am thoroughly enjoying myself. You are amazing, Serena." Serena's hands began to slide up and down his shaft.

Rita slipped off camera and came back with a bottle of lotion, and offered it to Serena, but Serena shook her head gently. "Let me try to lube him up myself." She slid forward so the lips of her vulva parted around the base of his shaft, and she slid her body up along its length. Back and forth her body slid while her hands massaged the head.

Demarcus moaned, "Please, faster, and Rita, please!" He pulled Rita down to him and guided her mouth to the head of his cock. Her mouth, even stretched open, could barely fit the head, but her tongue swirled around the tip, and her cheeks pulsed as she sucked. Her nose briefly touched the top of Serena's vulva, each time Serena slid to the top of the shaft. Rita reached one hand behind Serena to massage Demarcus's sack.

Demarcus's hips started to buck and I knew he was getting close. Serena rode him comfortably, thrusting her breasts up and out, as Demarcus drove her body up. Once, twice and a third time, and each time, he held himself and both girls for a longer time. He was getting very close. On the fourth, as his thrust reached its apex, his body shuddered. Rita's throat worked twice and then she gagged and semen came spilled out of both corners of her mouth. Demarcus collapsed and the two girls cuddled up next to him.

I stopped the video. "He really never fit in anyone else?"

Rita shook her head slowly, "Not that I ever saw." Then she smiled, and looked at me. "Else?" A long, meaningful pause, "He fits in you?"

I blushed and looked down and then gave a sheepish smile directed toward the floor. "I guess being six-foot-four helps in other things besides basketball," I mused.

"Damn girl, now there is even more reason why he is so damn happy with you. That beast fits inside you?"

"Yeah, especially with me on my knees." I blushed again. A series of thumps from upstairs and then a rampaging patter of feline feet flew down the stairs. Catalina, the little calico, was in the lead, being chased playfully by her brothers and sisters. They sprinted through the living room with two of them vaulting onto and then over the couch. Their flurry of activity broke my reverie. "Look, I should go. I got a lot to think about. Thanks for everything. This was so weird, but I think this was all stuff I needed to see and," I gave her a shy smile, "feel." I paused, "And thank you for stopping me. I crossed a line. I am sorry; I just did not want to break the momentum. You know, the whole 'strike while the iron is hot' thing."

"Yeah, I get it, and I meant it when I said it was hard to stop." She stood up and walked me out. "No rush, and I am here if you need to talk more."

I had amazing sex with Demarcus that night. I had meant to talk to him before, but I didn't. The video tape was running through my head during, but that was not the right time. I promised myself to talk to him after, but we both fell asleep. No time felt right the next day, and not the next, and well, I chickened out. It was not that I was afraid of him being angry, it just...it just felt awkward and never the right time.

Rita and I did not get any significant alone time. However, we work together, so we see each other all the time, but she peppered me with questions at every opportunity. The questions started with things like, "So what did he say?" That transitioned to, "So did you talk to him?" Then it was, "When are you going to talk to him?" and finally to, "Don't seriously tell me you did not talk to him!!" Ending with, "Do you want me or Jason to talk to him?" I did not like that idea at all, and rejected it adamantly and out of hand.

It drifted on like that for a few weeks. My birthday was a Thursday, and Demarcus and I celebrated it that night in a wonderful and steamy fashion. The following weekend was a three-day weekend, and the camp would be closed on Monday. The four of us actually had a night where we could all be together. That was a rarity and decided to take advantage of it, using my birthday as an excuse to celebrate.

We usually did not eat out on nights like this. First, few restaurants could seat Demarcus comfortably because of his height. Secondly, Jason and Rita were phenomenal cooks, and loved to show off. Normally, the feline Furious Five were about the house, but on nights like this, they were banished to the guest room. We refused to share our steak.

The dinner was wonderful, and the conversation charming. After dinner Rita poured us glasses of Drambuie as we sat back to relax. When she finished pouring, Demarcus, sitting across from me, stood up. "To my wife, Olivia. My wife, it is still such an honor and almost unbelievable to me that you said yes. But anyways, you are the kindest person I know. All of us know how darn smart you are, and how quick your feet are in the paint, but you also must know that you are the kindest person I know. No one makes me happier and no one cares so much about making me happy."

He raised his glass and Rita's words echoed in my head, " The touch of a kind and giving person who you trust feels wonderful no matter their gender and I think we all found great joy and satisfaction in giving pleasure to others, no matter their gender." And my own promise echoed in my head, "I will try this."

Glasses clinked and we drank to his toast. Rita was staring daggers at me and the two men noticed. I put my glass down and swallowed hard. There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. I looked at Demarcus and took a deep breath in a desperate search for courage. "Demarcus, I love you more than I can ever explain. I never seem to find the right time to tell you this, and I do not know if this is the right time, but I am going to do it anyways." I paused, not knowing where to start, but all of the correlations between this night and the night I watched-- we were all well dressed, we had all just finished a good dinner and we all trusted each other. When anxiety and hesitation get in my way, push harder. I suddenly knew exactly what to say.

"I am sober and want to be here and I can just say stop at any time."

The words hung. Demarcus and Jason looked at each other, and then both at Rita. Demarcus's face turned hard, "Rita, did you push her into this? What the fuck do you think your doing? Do you really believe I don't find her good enough? You should..."

Okay, maybe I did not know the right thing to say, although it did have a flare for the dramatic. I leaped up from my chair, "Demarcus, stop right there and come with me." He looked at me ready with a quick retort, but he saw my face. It was a look I rarely gave him, but it meant, "Do not argue, do not debate and do what I am telling you to do." He froze, and then, giving Rita a hard look usually reserved for referees thoroughly screwing us over; he nodded to me, and stood.

I went upstairs to the spare bedroom. Demarcus followed. I squatted next to the bed to pet Lynx, without letting him climb on me and cover me in fur. "Rita did not push me to do anything, Demarcus, and you should know that."

He closed his eyes, collecting himself. "I thought I knew that, but how the hell else would you know about that...that time before I met you."

I shrugged, looking at the cat rather than my husband. "I found out a few weeks ago. I should have told you that day. I didn't. Felt too awkward. I have never been good at talking about sex." I then told him the whole story, although maybe not how I started things with Rita. Finally, when finished, I looked at him. "Demarcus, I want to try this. I want to try this for you, true. But, I also want to try this for myself. When I watched that tape, it seemed safe and you all had...well, you all seemed to have a damn good time. When I was young, I did not like asparagus and for years I avoided it. The first time Jason cooked it for me, I placed it in my mouth out of pure politeness and I found out I loved it.