I Should Can and Will at Least Try

"So, I want to try this, and I promise I won't pretend to like it, and I don't feel like I have to ever do it again. If I don't like it, then we stop and we are done. Fair?"

He squatted down next to me. "Yes, fair. And I am sorry. You can speak and take care of yourself."

"Rita is the one you should apologize to," I admonished him, "but gently."

That big beautiful smile filled his face. "You are right about that. And, I hear your words and believe you, but thank you. Thank you for being willing to try, but let's work on this whole communication thing a bit, no? That was a sudden surprise."

I nodded with an embarrassed laugh. "Well, I felt if I let the moment slide, I would be a coward again and avoid the topic."

He nodded, "Well, it was a memorable moment. So those words mean we are about to start things. You want to try this tonight?"

I took a deep breath, "Yes, let's just jump in the pool, although it might not be the deep end. Let's see where it goes."

He nodded, and gave me a deep kiss. "Promise me you will say stop at anytime at all?" I framed his face with my hands and met his eyes. A slow firm nod was the answer I gave him. He took my hand and we headed downstairs.

Our drinks were still on the table, but it had otherwise been cleared. Rita and Jason were on the couch. A look of relief washed over them as they saw us comfortable and hand in hand. Demarcus looked at Rita, "I am sorry for being an idiot. I know you too well to have accused you that way. I just did not see how else, but that does not make it okay."

Rita smiled at Demarcus, with that wide bright smile of hers, "Well, I am guessing that was a bit of a shock." Her gaze turned to me, "I wonder if there was a better way to do that?"

I flipped her off. "Yeah, whatever, you are right, but if I had not done it then, I may have never done it."

Demarcus hugged me close, "Well, I am glad you did it, even if not in the most graceful of ways."

Jason looked at the three of us. "Okay, so what now? Maybe just call it an early night?"

I hesitated, but Rita gave me a little nod. I looked at Jason, "Well, maybe we could try tonight. We don't get to be together too often. But I don't mean to presume, and I don't want to promise anything. I really might use that 'no' option in the little promise you make at the start."

Jason looked at Demarcus and then at Rita, and each nodded. Rita confirmed what we were all saying silently, "Okay, we are doing this. Give me a few minutes, I want to change into something else."

Rita slipped away. The silence felt awkward until Demarcus smiled, "No pressure. We are your friends first and foremost."

Jason nodded, "And, Olivia, for what it is worth, I am nervous, too. I have done this often with friends, but not with a friend like you, and not with someone I have known for so long without doing something like this. We go your speed and your distance. You get as much of a taste as you want. No one will think less of you for trying, and I think you are incredibly brave."

I looked at him on the love seat. He and I, similar in height and similar in slim, sleek builds, but he had the shoulders testosterone could give you and a languid relaxation so different from my slightly OCD intensity. Demarcus gave me an almost-friendly hug, "Hey, let this be about you. What do you want and what did you imagine?"

Demarcus, his massive presence always being my rock and right then was safety. His tailored electric blue shirt frames his shoulders so perfectly. His dark slacks concealing his long, powerful legs and the knee brace he wears almost all the time. I was so tempted to start with him. However, Jason's skin was so pale compared to Demarcus, but dark compared to me;serene and seemingly comfortable, despite his admission to being nervous. I mused on how his neat goatee would feel on my lips and how his shoulder-length, wavy black hair would feel flowing through my fingers. His white shirt highlighted his olive skin and his jeans showed little, but hinted at a lot.

As I looked at two of my closest friends, one of them my husband, I contemplated the video and what I liked about it. Hands everywhere upon me, sent a thrill through me, but the reality scared me. So much intimacy, from so many people, might make me panic.

"I don't know exactly. So, a lot in that tape turned me on, once I got comfortable with it, but a lot scared me. The conundrum is the very thing that excited me, also scared me. So many hands on a person sounds wonderful, but it might make me panic."

Jason shrugged, "Maybe four is too many. I could go for a few drinks; I don't mind."

I gave him a warm smile, "Jason, you are one of the nicest guys in the world." I paused, not sure what to say next. Jason was the person I was least comfortable with, as I knew the other two better, and, being with a new man just seemed scarier. Well, not really a new man, but Jason, an old friend. Jason, who made me laugh so hard at my wedding, that I spat champagne all over his tux; Jason who was the one who helped me bathe and care for Demarcus after the surgeries. Jason had done a lot for us over the years, and bringing him happiness would make me happy.

I looked at Demarcus, "Don't forget you get to say stop as well, right? I mean this thing might just feel too strange." Demarcus returned a gentle nod of agreement, and of appreciation. I returned the nod. Looking at Jason, I slid over creating space between Demarcus and myself, "Want to sit here?" Jason gave me a look of pleasant surprise and curiosity, before sitting between us.

Rita helped us avoid an awkward wait when she came back into the room, as soon as Jason was settled. She was still dressed in the same black dress, thigh length, with a white belt around the middle, that accented her narrow waist and small breasts.The front came up to her neck, but it was sleeveless, backless, and fastened with just two buttons on the back of the collar going around the neck. She did a little spin, and as she did so, I could see a line of white just above the back of her dress.

Jason smiled. "Me thinks she added rather than subtracted."

I smiled nervously. They seemed so comfortable, and I felt awkward and stupid. I was trying to find courage, but it was hard. Demarcus knew me well and sensed my unease. Getting up, he squatted before me and put my foot in his lap. Slipping off the high heel, he began to massage it. "Olivia, if you want to stop, just say the word. If you want to try this, just relax. Feel my hands and remember you are among friends."

I looked into his warm, dark-brown eyes, above chiseled, ebony cheeks. I sank into the safety of those eyes, and embraced the feeling of those massively powerful hands, so gentle upon my feet. I felt the couch cushions shift, as Rita's slight weight added on my left side with Jason, still giving me some personal space on my right. Demarcus kept massaging, and my eyes, while still focused on his, drifted closed. His hands were like silk, one cradling my ankle and the other now focused on the ball of my foot. I felt Rita slide up next to me. She gave me a friendly hug and whispered, "Feels good, I bet." I nodded with a gentle smile, without opening my eyes.

Demarcus gently placed my foot on the floor, and lifted the other one, gently removing the shoe. As he did so, I leaned into Rita's hug, nestling my head under her chin and into her shoulder. His hands were so soft and gentle on my feet, and Rita so warm and safe beside me. I let myself drift again on the currents made by his hands, reminding myself to relax. Rita took my hand and gently stroked the back of it. I was aware of Jason beside me, thinking of my close friend, perhaps, feeling awkward and excluded, so I opened my eyes and, finding his, gave him a warm smile and tentatively put my left hand into his right. Covering it with his left, he smiled back at me, and his right thumb started small circles on the inside of my wrist.

I could feel the echoes of Serena's experience, but now imagination was becoming reality. The tension and anxiety were still there, but wrapped in a ball of warmth. I looked up at Rita and gave her a gentle kiss under her chin. "Thank you," I whispered, barely audible. She gently kissed me back on the lips. Demarcus, perhaps using that as a cue, placed my foot in his lap and both hands began to massage my left calf muscle.

I returned the kiss a little more insistently, knowing this time, there would be no interruption. With my right hand, I started to return Jason's attention, to encourage him a bit, but not too much, my shyness not fully overcome. Rita's tongue danced across mine, and her hands repeated what they had been doing the last time, sliding up and down my arm, as if masturbating a penis. The kiss deepened and my tongue explored her mouth and she mine.

This all started to feel so right. I freed my hand from Jason's grip, and brought it down to the top of his left thigh and then, breaking my kiss with Rita, I turned to Jason with longing. He bent to meet my lips. The first touch was gentle and chaste and we smiled shyly at each other. "That was nice," I whispered, and I felt Demarcus start on the other calf. I kissed him again, letting lips and tongue slowly start to explore. His mouth was firmer than Rita's and his lips thinner than Demarcus's. So much variation and pleasure from that variation, that I never would have known about. I guided his left hand to my skirt-covered thigh.

As I was kissing Jason, I felt Rita start kissing my neck.Her kisses trailed down the side. Her left hand brushed my shirt, one button undone and brushed aside, so her lips could reach that tender spot in the hollow of my clavicle. Her right hand reached down to my bare right knee, my skirt having ridden above it. She stroked the top of it, and I let my thigh fall further open, inviting her exploration and surely giving Demarcus full view of my pale-green lace panties.

Demarcus spread my legs wider, and I felt his lips kiss the bottom of my left inner thigh. The desire that had been rising within me, crested up and over my anxieties and inhibitions. I placed my hand on the side of Jason's soft throat and caressed him, letting my pinky drop down below his collar. My hand slipped down, until my thumb was in the hollow just above his breast bone. The hand lingered for but a moment, before unbuttoning the second button on his shirt.

His hand mimicked mine, caressing my throat, and then hesitating, until my smile of assurance granted him permission to undo the next button. His olive index finger traced constellations amongst the freckles of the pale skin of my chest. "Olivia," the olive skinned man whispered, "your skin is like ivory."

Rita was still kissing my neck and I felt hands and lips on my thighs, but for a moment, all of that faded, as all my focus was on Jason's fingers as he undid the third button on my blouse. His hand ran down from the nape of my neck to the tops of my breasts, surfing the neckline of my bra. No hand, but Demarcus's, had ever done this before. No man, other than Demarcus, had ever made me want their hand to do this. I thought I would feel frightened and shy, but this was Jason, this room was safety, and I felt loved.

My eyes drifted past Jason's hand just above my breast to find Demarcus, as he continued his kisses slowly and tenderly, now more than halfway up my inner thigh. Rita's hand was exploring further and I felt the skirt ride up past the top of my stockings. A comfortable, erotic heat starts to grow in me, as I spread my legs wider, my panties sticky with desire.

Jason's fingers undid the last of the buttons of my blouse, and I felt his eyes admire my breasts, and the dark-pink areolas hinted at beneath the thin, pale-green fabric. Demarcus laid the leg he was kissing back onto the couch, while the leg Rita was teasing remained on the floor; now my legs were open wide for all. My body was quivering, my strong thigh muscles flexing, and abs clenching, as I released myself to the many sensations sweeping through my body.

Jason's hands were first over the bra and then soon under it, his thumbs and index fingers were first circling, then teasing, my nipples. I moaned and pressed my breasts up into his hands, and his index finger and thumb caught my stout, fully erect nipples eliciting from me, a sound somewhere between a gasp and a grunt.

My hands finished unbuttoning Jason's shirt, and they started almost spasmodically caressing his muscular and amazing torso. His build was powerful, but so slight compared to Demarcus. As I did so, Demarcus's lips reached the seams of my panties. I felt Rita's hands leave my leg, and I opened my eyes to see her kissing Demarcus and unbuttoning his shirt. Wait, she was kissing my husband...

It felt so much more tangible in that moment, than it did on film, and Demarcus's response was eager and excited. I felt jealousy cool my passion, and my body stiffened. Demarcus, holding my thighs, and Jason, with his hands on my body and looking at me, both noticed at once. Demarcus broke the kiss and suddenly, time froze.

Rita gave me a look of regret and apology, "Olivia, I am so sorry. I ...I pushed things too far. I am so sorry. I just forgot where I was and what I was doing." She sat back on her knees looking up from the floor.

I pulled my legs in and together, so I was almost sitting fetal. I shook my head, as tears filled my eyes. "No, Rita, you did not forget anything. Maybe I just forgot who I was, and all the baggage I drag around with me all the time. I know I can trust you, I know I should trust you, but I guess I don't, and you all deserve better."

Demarcus rose from the floor and sat beside me, still almost-fully clothed and still graceful despite his bad knee; having sat next to me, he embraced my mostly naked and fetal self in his strong comforting embrace. "No, don't you dare put this on you. You put your trust in our kindness and experience, my kindness and experience. Rita did not know better, but I should have. This is on me. You were so brave and I ruined a good thing." His words were spoken firmly, but softly and with great tenderness. He gave not a hint of blame. He so reminded me of why I fell in love with him.

I sighed. Jason laid his shirt over me, to conceal my nakedness; I smiled softly at him in thanks, and curled up inside of it. Rita looked at Demarcus, "Hey, you don't get to take this all on you. I was the idiot who kissed you and you may have married her, but I am somewhat-of-a-close friend.

I smiled at my dearest friend and thought about that moment when I was enthralled by the touch of my three closest friends. "It was a good thing and no, you... none of you did anything wrong. I just panicked, is all. You were all being so sweet and kind. Your touches were gentle and you all were trying to be so careful with me. It felt perfect for a while." I felt wistful and sounded that way, as well.

Rita smiled, and patted my knee from where she sat on the floor. "Okay, new rule for next time. No one gets to touch Demarcus except for Olivia. Everyone got that? Well, that is if there is a next time."

I looked down at Jason's shirt, embarrassment preventing me from meeting their eyes, as I whispered, "I do want there to be a next time; really, I do." In fact, I was going to do my damndest to try again tonight. The mood was broken, but maybe we could build it back slowly. I scanned their DVD collection. "Let's watch a movie, maybe, Indecent Proposal,."

The three looked at each other, "Interesting choice," Rita said.

I smiled and shrugged, "Intentional choice. Maybe we try again tonight. Let me see. I like the movie and, well, it might set a mood." I saw Jason, still naked above the waist, looking at me and his shirt below, which I am also naked down to my skirt. I smiled, blushing, " It's comfy, can I keep it?"

He smiled softly back, "Sure, just, you know, no need to force anything, okay?"

I nodded softly and cuddled up in the safety of Demarcus's arms, as the movie started. It was a movie with romance and sexual tension, although a somewhat-evil movie in ways. However, it was the movie I had watched the first time with Demarcus, and at the time, it was scandalous to me. We had our first heavy petting session to this movie. Rita sat on my right, Jason snuggled next to her. I felt a sense of serenity and happiness bury my anxiety.

As the movie flickered on, I snuggled closer and spread Jason's shirt, so it covered Demarcus, as well. I felt my almost-bare breasts against his shirt, and I let my right hand stroke his thigh. He shifted his pants to get more comfortable and I knew he was relaxed, as well. My hand glided up the inside of his thigh without haste, and seemingly without purpose. It was maybe ten minutes later, when my hand felt the bulge and I began to rub along the side of one ball, pressing somewhat firmly, so he could easily feel me through his pants. Demarcus's focus started to shift away from the film. I moved my hand to fully cup his balls, cupping and massaging. The base of my palm was rubbing the bottom of his shaft, which was beginning to harden.

Demarcus started breathing harder, and he shifted again, as his massive cock tried to find a comfortable place in his pants. Rita and Jason both looked aside at us, unsure if I wanted them to notice. I smiled, as I took a deep breath for courage, and pulled Jason's shirt back, so it no longer concealed Demarcus nor my hand, although my nearly naked breasts were still covered. "I want you both to watch us and, if it is okay, I want to watch the two of you." I spoke with confidence, a confidence I did not fully feel.

Rita smiled, and Jason nodded, saying, "I love that idea, but it is hard to watch each other sitting side-by-side. I have an idea. Demarcus, let me interrupt and give me a hand, it will be worth it." Demarcus rose, his excitement very obvious, and the two men moved the coffee table to one side, and then brought the love seat over, so it was facing the couch, but five feet, or so, away.

Demarcus cuddled up next to me again, and his excitement had hardly abated. My hand found his balls and resumed the massage. Rita and Jason came together on the couch, her black and his Italian skin blended together in a tight hug, as they kissed passionately. Her hands ran up and down his bare chest and torso as her neck stretched up, so her lips could reach his. Demarcus pulled my chin to his, and we kissed, as well. As he did so, I felt the shirt start to slip off my chest. I moved to catch it, but instead, cast it aside to the floor, so only the thin, green, translucent bra hid my immodestly covered, but modestly sized, breasts. I continued to stroke him, as my other hand undid his belt buckle. A hook and a button and a zipper, and I folded back his fly and his penis was straining and twitching beneath his dark-blue boxer briefs with his nine-inch shaft pressing against the thin cotton, as I slid his pants off his body. His legs looked long, and his powerful leg muscles rippled under skin so black it was almost purple.

After the pants came off, I helped him remove the knee brace; even after umpteen surgeries, he could not walk completely safely without it. While removing his brace, my eyes locked onto Jason and Rita. His hands were undoing the collar on her backless dress, as his lips hungrily devoured her neck. Her skin was milk chocolate and I watched her shoulders roll back, and her breasts move up and out, as she arched her back to let Jason undo the collar. The top of the dress fell free and beneath she wore a thin loosely woven white lace corset, with her chocolate skin, her rich-dark-brown nipples riding high at the tips of her breasts visible beneath.

Jason slid one hand up to cradle Rita's breast, as Demarcus's brace slipped free and my hands ran across his bare skin-- chest, abdomen and thighs. As I did so, I watched Jason reach under the gathered cloth of the top of Rita's dress and undo her belt. She raised herself slightly off the couch, and he slid the dress off her lithe and feline body. I could not help but admire the perfect definition of her quads, as her legs shifted to let the dress slide free.