I Think You're My Dad

"We'll see."

"The town of Mt. Shasta is about an hour from here. Great views, lots of shops and things to see. We could do that today, then pick up your swimsuit and sweats after we get the results. Then have a nice dinner to celebrate our results."

"You sound like you think it's possible."

"I suspect I am your father. We'll see."

"What changed your mind?"

"Something your Mom said. If I'm right, I'll explain it after the results."

"Did you hear her say she'll always love you?"

"I did. It made my day. Oh, I almost forgot. Read this."

He handed her the notebook paper. She unfolded it and began reading.

"My wonderful darling D, I had a dream last night. I always thout we would have a daughter. She would have black hair, dimpels, and brown eyes. I was wrong. She's going to look like me but with gorgeous dimpels like you. She'll have your sence of humer, God forbid, and will be smarter than both of us. We'll call her Anita after my Mom. Just thout you should know. I'm wearing strawberrie lipstick tonight, so I hope you sneak a kiss or two at Town Hall. I love you. Your future forever wife, Carol. XXOO"

"Wow! How could she have nailed it so accurately?"

"No clue but she did. Did you notice the date?"

She looked at the date.

"Oh my God! My birthday, seven years before I was born."

Dean started humming the Twilight Zone song. Anita was laughing.

"It's just meant to be, Dad."

"Maybe so," he replied, smiling.

"Why do you think she's suddenly willing to talk about you?"

"I suspect it has something to do with Shelly and her Reiki. If not, I'm clueless."

"Whatever caused it, bless you," Anita said.

The drive to Shasta was pretty. Anita's first time ever seeing mountains was on the flight to California. The town itself was quiet. They enjoyed the shops and picked up a few small items. Then had a light lunch before heading back to Redding. It was very unceremonious. Dean was simply handed an envelope. Anita grabbed it.

"Let's open it outside. If I cry, I'd rather do it there," Dean said.

"You think you'll cry?" she asked.

"Probably," he replied sitting on a bench under a tree.

"Which way? Yes or no?"

"Probably both. If no, because I'm sad. If yes, because I'm happy."

She opened the envelope and looked at the paper. Her expression never changed.

"In the case of Anita Reynolds, Dean Coates you..."

"I what?"

"Commercial break. That's how they always do it on TV."

"Anita, please?"

"You are my father."

Anita began crying as she handed him the paper. They held each other with both crying for several minutes.

"I love you, Anita. You're my daughter."

"You're my Dad. I love you too." They got back in the truck and headed toward the mall. "So, what did Mom say that changed your mind?"

"When she saw me in the Air Force. She said it was about four years later. She saw me but I didn't see her. I hadn't been in Ohio in over two years. You were born April 1st one month premature. So, you were conceived when?"

"Around September 1st the year before."

"Around Labor Day. I had a party at my house, and someone put something in my drink. The following morning there was lubricant on my you know what."

"You were raped?"

"I doubt that, but I'd wager my sperm was taken."

"Dad, that's still rape."

"Anita, can you picture your Mom ever doing something like that?"

"No, that's just not like her."

"I agree. Someone else collected it and didn't tell her how. If she thought it was being collected illegally, she never would have done it. I lived on base so whoever collected it was military. Does your Mom have any female friends that were in the service?"

"Doris was in the Navy. I think Aunt Mo was in too."

"Mo for Monique?"

"Yes."

"Monique Baab?"

"Yeah, that's her. You know her?"

"She's the one that collected the specimen for your Mom."

"I'm not following you here."

"Mo worked for me in the Air Force. For about six weeks all was well. She went on a leave for a week and when she returned, I was the scum of the earth to her. Monique requested a transfer and was moved to the Fertility Clinic. She probably assisted in artificial insemination there. I had parties at my house occasionally, but Mo only came to one. That was the Labor Day party where I was drugged. I suspect she collected the sperm and artificially inseminated your Mom."

"You put all that together from her Air Force, four years later and you didn't see her comments?"

Dean laughed. "The pieces just fell together. In all likelihood, your Mom thought I donated the specimen. Part of what she feels guilty about is when she found out how Monique really got it."

"What would be the rest of guilt?"

"If I'm right about the first part you'll have to get the rest from her. That would be speculation on my part."

"So, you don't think Mom raped you or even knew you were raped?"

"I think she found out after she was pregnant."

"Why would she have taken your sperm to get pregnant anyway?"

"You read her note. You, my beautiful daughter, were meant to be. Carol and I were to be the parents."

"But she said it was to get back at you."

"I don't think she believed that any more than we do. She's not the vindictive type."

"You get raped, Mom gets pregnant from it, has your daughter but doesn't tell you for twenty-two years and you aren't even a little angry?"

"Your Mom took something of mine and made a miracle with it. I suspect she wanted to tell me many times but just couldn't. She gave me you, Anita. We're sitting here trying to figure out how she pulled off a miracle. I'll never ask her how or why. I'm just thrilled she did."

"How about the rest of the story? The part that backfired."

"I think if she ever tells that it'll be to me or us together. That'll be the hard part. She knows that if she ever faces me, she'll have to tell it."

"So even if Mr. Worth does tell her the truth, I still have to convince her to see you. Dad, you're making this harder not easier."

"Sorry, I told you already it wasn't going to happen."

"Oh, it's gonna happen alright. I just haven't figured out how."

They arrived at the mall. Dean was a relative newcomer to shopping with a woman and enjoyed watching Anita browse the racks, pick up forty items then put all but one back before repeating the process on the next rack. It didn't matter. He was with his daughter. Little else mattered either. She picked up two swimsuits and two pairs of sweats along with a coverup and sandals for the beach. They headed back to the house.

Anita went to put her things away and he went to the kitchen for a Diet Coke. The ring and a note were laying on the island.

"Good thing I knew where your secret key was. Here's the ring. I did the Reiki last night. Got good feelings from it. Peace, happiness, and love! Shelly."

"Anita, would you like something to drink?" he called.

"What do you have?"

"Most everything."

"Ice water, please." He was halfway to her room with it when she yelled, "With lemon."

Dean walked back to the kitchen, sliced a lemon, and put the wedge on the rim of the glass. When he got to Anita's room she grinned.

"I didn't really want the lemon, I just wanted to see if you would do it."

"Now you know," he replied, smiling.

"Thank you, that was really sweet."

"You're welcome. Anything else?"

"I would have gotten you a lemon too."

"I know but that wasn't why I got the lemon."

"Then why did you?"

"You asked for it. I had one. Easy fix. Now if you had asked for cantaloupe you'd have been out of luck. I don't have any."

"You got it because that's just how you are?"

"Basically, yes. Was this a test of some sort?"

"You're willing to go out of your way for other people, aren't you?"

"If I can make something better or simpler for someone it makes me feel good. It does you too."

"And Mom. There are a lot of people who wouldn't have gotten the lemon."

"Anita, most people wouldn't have offered you a drink in the first place."

"I'm glad you're my Dad."

"I am too," he replied smiling. "How about steak for dinner?"

"How about steak, lobster and champagne? I'm celebrating?"

"I know just the place. Business casual."

"Time?"

"I'll go change. Let me know when you're ready."

"Okay."

Dean went and changed then sat on the foot of the bed looking at the wall.

"Thank you, Carol. She's amazing. Anita reminds me of you, beautiful, smart, funny, loving. I suspect she's a better speller."

"Who are you talking to, Dad?"

"Your Mom. Come here."

He patted the bed next to him. Anita sat and then noticed the wall.

"Why do you have a wall full of pictures of Mom?"

"They keep me focused."

"On what?"

"Love. Every picture holds a special memory of our time together."

She walked to the wall.

"What's this one?"

"She was working in the dining room. I always knew when she was there. She always folded my napkin in a special way. If you look closely you can see the hairnet she had to wear."

"And this one?"

"Date night, she was in the eighth grade and only the High School grades could date. When the movie was over, she would run around to the side of the chapel. We would meet there and kiss. She's running to me."

"How about the empty couch?"

"We talked about how we would furnish our house when we got married. After I left, I furnished my house exactly as we had planned. That's the French Provincial couch."

"Are the dishes the same thing?"

"Uh huh. Single gold stripe around the dishes and roses on the handle of the silverware."

"When did you do this wall?"

"I started doing it everywhere I lived after I left the Home."

"And the furnishings,"

"I got rid of those when I went in the Air Force."

"Do you talk to her a lot?"

"Most every day. If I'm troubled, more often."

"You've had a lonely life, Dad."

"Anita, I've had an amazing life and your Mother was with me every step of the way. She kept me going."

"I'm kind of surprised you haven't asked much about her."

"It's none of my business. If there are things she thinks I should know, she'll tell me. You, on the other hand are going to tell me your life story during our six hours on the road tomorrow."

"Six hours huh? There isn't much to tell."

"No problem. When you hit a lull, I'll ask an open-ended question."

"You may regret that. So, are you going to take me out to celebrate or stand me up?"

"I always try to keep my promises. Let's go. Oh, your ring is on the island. Shelly did work on your mom last night."

They drove to the restaurant and enjoyed the dinner and each other. On the drive home Anita spoke, "Mom would love it here."

"You think so?"

"I'm sure of it. Her house sits between three cornfields and across the street is a forested five-acre lot that's surrounded by more cornfields."

"Where does she live?"

"Grand Lake, Ohio. She's been in the house since I was three."

"I've never lived in a single state that long."

"Where have you lived?"

"Let's see. Ohio, Texas, Illinois, Texas again, Colorado, Japan, Illinois again, Georgia, back to Texas, Indiana, Michigan, Texas and finally California."

"What was your favorite?"

"I loved Georgia. I never did care for the cold in the midwest. Texas was mostly for work. California, I guess. Have you traveled much?"

"This is, by far, the farthest I've ever been from home."

"Where would you like to visit?"

"Anywhere with something besides cornfields."

"Europe, Asia, Australia?"

"D, all of the above."

"Me too. I lived in Japan for two years, but I saw little of the country. Never been anywhere else overseas. Hawaii is gorgeous but I thought the people were a bit rude."

"The Hawaiian people?"

"Actually, the native Hawaiians were fine. It's the white transplants that were rude. I guess you can't blame them. Half the population at any given time is tourists."

"What's the most exciting thing you've ever done?"

"That's easy. Kiss your Mom."

Anita laughed. "Besides with Mom."

"I've done several exciting things. Driven a car at 160 miles an hour, skydive, delivered babies, did the Heimlich maneuver successfully twice, got knocked out of a boat in the Okefenokee swamp, water skied behind a jet boat at seventy miles an hour. That was exciting until I crashed. Kissing your Mom tops all of those. And of course, discover I have a daughter. That's right up there with kissing Carol."

"Anything that scares you?"

"Getting hit with a bill for 22 years of back child support," he said grinning. "Actually, I'm terrified that I'll wake up tomorrow and discover that the last two days have been a dream."

She pinched his arm. "It's real, Dad. What besides that?"

"Outliving my usefulness, being a burden. I need to have a purpose."

"Dreams?"

"It's more fantasy than dream. Find a way back into your mother's arms."

"That's not fantasy. It's going to happen."

"I won't be holding my breath."

"Good. It may take me a little while."

"What are your dreams?"

"I'm starting work on my Masters in the fall, so finishing that."

"Masters in what?"

"Education, I want to teach elementary kids."

"What else?"

"Find a love like yours and Mom's. Make you a grandpa one day. Travel. Be happy."

"Don't rush the grandpa. I've only been a dad for a few hours."

"If you could go back and change one thing in your life what would it be, Dad?"

"I wouldn't have gone on the sneak date with your Mom. That one event cost me everything. How about you?"

"I honestly don't know. I'll have to think about that. What's your joy?"

"Making a difference for the good in someone's life."

"Tough one now. Do you believe in God?"

"That's not that tough. You may think I'm nuts though. I don't believe in some guy with a long white beard that gives us rules to live by then in a later chapter tells us to break them. I don't believe in a God that's so weak he has to kill his son. I don't believe in a God that would send his children to a place like hell. I believe in a loving God. Next logical question is do I believe in Jesus. Yes, Jesus existed. Was he the son of God? Yes, and so are you. I mean that in an asexual way. I believe God has granted each of us the power to create. The catch is, we don't have the understanding of it that Jesus had."

"A Course in Miracles?"

"You're familiar with it?"

"Superficially, but yes. I don't think you're nuts. Democrat or Republican?"

"I'm conservative but don't claim a political party. I think the government is way too big and that politicians should be allowed four years in office then sent back to wherever they came from. Government by the people and for the people doesn't exist anymore. It's government by the politicians for the politicians now."

"Favorite musicians?"

"Beatles, Heart, and Ozzy."

"Favorite song to max out the radio?"

"No More Tears, live."

"That's a great one. Favorite food?"

"Now that's a tough one. Steakburger with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle and relish."

"Steak 'n Shake?"

"Yep."

"Favorite drink?"

"Booze drink?"

"With and without alcohol," she replied.

"Without depends on the time of day. Booze? Tequila Sunrise."

"Favorite movie?"

"Somewhere In Time."

"Favorite book?"

"Earth Abides - George R. Stewart."

They pulled into the driveway and stopped. Once inside they went out to the patio again.

"Anita, tell me how I can be more involved in your life. I really want to."

"Dad, with Mom being like she is at the present we're going to have to keep this away from her."

"On your call with her this morning you mentioned you were in Cottonwood. If she does a simple Google search, I'll pop up. I'm on Facebook too. And it will lead her directly to Cottonwood. We'll have been made."

"I know. I have no plan to lie to her. I'll tell her about the ancestry DNA test and that you and I confirmed it. I'll tell her about us spending time together and getting to know each other. I won't lie to her and I don't want to do anything to hide you. I'm not going to volunteer what you've told me about what happened at the Home, but I won't lie about that either."

"If she does discover you know me, I think she'll be upset."

"Maybe for a little while but she'll come around. She knows I wanted to find my father but wouldn't tell me anything. She even talked about you this morning. That's a big step for her. Yeah, she'll come around."

"You know her a lot better than I do. I'll trust you on this. I really do want to be a part of your life in any way I can. May I ask about finances?"

"They're tight, Dad. I have the summer off from school but I'm going to be doing some research for one of my professors this summer and will make some money to help. School loans won't come due for payback until a year after my masters is complete. Mom works as a secretary at the Grand Lake Middle School. When school is out, she works part time at three other places. Mom has been paying for much of my school. It's been tough for her."

"How about housing?"

"Mom bought a house when I was four in Grand Lake. She'll have it paid for in about three years. When I'm in school I live in the dorm. When I'm on breaks I live with Mom."

"Do you and Carol have a good relationship?"

"We do now that Chad is gone."

"Who is Chad?"

"Mom's ex. She married him when I was five. He's a lazy, abusive drunk. He and I despised each other from day one. When I was fourteen, he beat me up. I ran away and lived with Aunt Sarah. That was what finally convinced Mom to get rid of him. After their divorce I came back home."

"I can't imagine Carol with an abusive drunk."

"Dad, we talked about that after the divorce. I honestly got the feeling Mom thought that's what she deserved. After what we've figured out since I got here, I suspect she's been punishing herself over what she did to you."

"Maybe so. Is he completely gone now?"

"He's in prison for assaulting some woman in a bar. I think he's got another five years. After the divorce he made Mom's life miserable by harassing her. She finally got a restraining order to keep him away. When he gets out, he'll be harassing her again. She's going to have to move away to get rid of him once and for all. How about we get her to move in here?"

"I wish," he said, smiling. "God, I wish that could happen. Anita, I'd like to pay for your school. I'll take care of the loans and cover the cost from here on out. That will allow you to concentrate on school and ease things for your Mom too."

"Dad, that's a lot of money. I can't let you do that."

"I have a daughter that I haven't supported the way I should have. I'm a single doc with an excellent income. I don't owe a nickel to any creditors. My house and car are paid off and I have plenty of money in the bank. I wanna do this because it's the right thing to do. What kind of father would I be if I didn't help?"

"Dad, we're looking at over fifty thousand in school loans and right at twenty thousand this year and next."

"Good, it's all settled. What are you driving?"

"Mom gave me her car. It's a two-year-old Honda fit."

"What's she driving?"

"A fifteen-year-old train wreck."

"Let's get you a new one and you can give hers back."

"Dad..."

"Anita, please. I want to help."

"It's too much money."

"Oh bull! If I had been there as I should have been it would have been a lot more money."

"I doubt that."

"Let's see. Five hundred a month times twelve months times twenty-two years. That's one hundred thirty-two thousand. And with my income a court would have doubled or tripled that."

"It's still a lot of money. Dad, that isn't why I came here."

"I know that. A father doesn't do things for his children because they push him into it. He does it out of love and because it's the right thing to do. Please let me be the kind of father I need to be?"