I Wanna Mommy fo' Chwismus

"You're so fortunate to have her."

"Yeah, I am. I really am."

-----

On New Year's Eve, she had a glass of wine while watching the festivities from New York and thinking about her own life and the upcoming year. She was excited to have only three more semesters of college with most of the classes in her major. And she thought about Cam and Mandy. She liked them both. Mandy was a darling little girl and her father, though burdened by his grief, seemed to be a decent human being. She knew he had a lot of emotional pain he needed to work through before he could move on with his life and she would be willing to let herself get closer to him, if he would allow it.

It was about a week after the first when Cameron called. He apologized for taking so long to call but reported work was extremely busy and he didn't get much free time until late in the evenings. Things had eased up and he seemed chatty and worry free during their conversation.

"Mandy is asking for another sledding trip. You up for it?"

"Uh, actually, my classes are going to require a lot of time and spending a whole day is not going to be possible. Could we perhaps do something a little more low-key, you know, around here?"

"How about we have you come over here for an afternoon, you know, hang out, then dinner. We can get you home with plenty of time to study."

"Sounds good. Should I come over or...?"

"No, we'll pick you up on Saturday around three. OK?"

Their casual afternoon together was fun. Mandy was in great spirits and dragged Eve to the bedroom and was given a running dissertation on all the toys and dolls. She even served a pretend tea while her dad stood with a sad but bemused look at the door. After their 'tea,' he invited Eve to the living room where they sat and watched a football game on mute and talked about nothing and everything. At one point when Mandy had gone back to her bedroom, he quietly turned to Eve and whispered, "It will be one year, you know, since...since then, uh this Wednesday."

"It must be so hard for you. I don't know how you can function."

"It's hard, very hard. I think the best thing to do is keep busy. That way I won't dwell on it too much."

"You probably will, at least some. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know. Does Mandy understand the year thing?"

"Kinda, I guess. Say, could I impose and ask you to take her for a couple of hours that afternoon? I'd like to go visit Suze at the Memorial Gardens by myself. Got some talking to do."

"Sure. No classes. Want me to come here?"

"How about you pick her up at the pre-school. I'll put you on the list. Say, two-ish? You could take her for an ice cream cone and then back here. Read to her or something until I get back.

"I can do that. Give me their address and let her know to expect me."

On Wednesday she arrived promptly at the Little Red Kindergarten and once she showed her ID, Mandy was released to her care. Mandy was talking a mile a minute and was excited to get an ice cream.

Later in the car, Mandy spoke up, "Daddy's real sad."

"Oh?"

"Uh-huh and I know why."

"Why?"

"He misses Mommy."

"I'm sure he does," she answered noncommittally while trying to avoid too much talk about Suzanne.

"Eve, what's a annivuhswy?"

"Well, it's when a year has gone by. A daddy and a mommy will sometimes celebrate anniversaries on the day they got married."

"Oh. Uh, did my mommy die on this day?"

"Yes, well, last year on this day in January, yes, Honey, she did."

"Is that a annivuhswy?"

"Yes, it is kinda, but most anniversaries are happy days, not sad ones."

"I don't like 'em."

"I'm sure you don't."

Tears started sliding down Mandy's cheeks as she sat in her car seat. "Honey, it's OK to be sad. It's OK to miss your mom."

"But I fowget her sometimes and I don't wanna fowget."

"Well, we're almost home. Do you have any pictures you want to look at and show me?"

"Yes," she sniffed.

At their front door Mandy pulled out a key from under her top and let Eve open the heavy door. "Ovuh hewe awe some pictuwes."

"Good. Now sit here beside me and tell me all about your mommy."

Mandy's memory of her mother was spotty but she did seem to enjoy looking at the pictures and showing them to Eve. The woman was lovely looking with a genuine smile. Her figure seemed very attractive and in one photo from the beach, Eve could tell Suzanne was definitely a looker.

"She looks very nice, Honey."

"Yeah, I guess, but I fowget her," she wailed suddenly. Eve pulled the little girl into her arms and held her, gently stroking her head and uttering soothing little comments. The crying eventually eased until Eve realized Mandy had fallen asleep. She continued to hold the girl while absent-mindedly paging through the photo album in an almost voyeuristic journey through Cam and Mandy's life.

She heard the key in the front door and quickly closed the album while keeping her arm around Mandy. Cameron, looking awful, managed a tight smile upon seeing them and plopped down on a chair across the room.

"I can't imagine how awful of a day this must have been so I won't even ask you how you are doing but I will ask if there's anything I can do to help," she whispered."

"No, you've done way more than enough. Has she eaten?"

"No, she showed me some pictures of Suzanne and got upset she's forgetting her mother. Cried herself to sleep."

"Let me get her to bed so you can get back to your studying. I can't thank you enough for the babysitting."

"Mandy's a sweet, sweet child and I loved being with her."

Cameron carried his daughter to the back of the house while Eve stood idly in the living room. A few minutes later he returned, thanked her once again and showed her to the door. He looked so forlorn she turned and gave him a brief hug. "I can't imagine what it's like and I won't give you a pep talk. Just know my heart goes out to you two."

"Thanks, Eve, 'preciate it."

It took her over an hour after she was home before she could shake the images of the day from her mind and begin studying. Little Mandy was still in pain and worried she'd forget her mother and Cam was obviously suffering. Hopefully the anniversary blues would ease soon.

-----

Two weeks later he called and asked if they could get together for an afternoon at the children's museum. This was popular with kids particularly in the winter when the weather discouraged outdoor activities. When they picked her up, Mandy seemed happy and excited.

"Eve, the museum's got a dinosauw skelton! An' a woom with spewiments."

"Sounds like fun. You'll need to show me everything."

They had a blast watching her run from room to room, demanding they read her the details on all the signs. The T. rex skeleton made from carved wood was a hit as was the lab room. Age-appropriate activities allowed kids to learn about some of the basic laws of physics and even some simple chemistry. Eve marveled at the patience of the museum employees in dealing with the excited youngsters.

After her ice cream from the gift shop, Mandy fell asleep in the back of the car while Cameron drove home. The two had a comfortable time talking about the museum before talk turned to how he was doing.

"It was pretty rough there for a few days but I'm a little better. My boss gave me some time off so we took a little trip to see my mom. She doted on Mandy and gave her some girl-time she needed."

"Your dad?"

"He lives out on the coast now and isn't in the picture. I never knew what happened between them but I get the idea he found someone else. Mom won't talk about it at all. Calls him the "F," for fucker, I guess, but you'd never hear her use the word out loud. She's too proper for that."

"That's actually kinda sweet, in a way, to know some people are still 'proper'."

"Don't get the idea she's a stick in the mud, though. She's still a hoot and Mandy and she are so close, especially now."

"Sounds like the kind of person I'd like to meet someday."

"Uh, no, I don't think it'd be such a good idea now. She might think we were, you know..."

"No, please, Cam, I wasn't suggesting it, I was merely saying she sounds like a neat person, someone worth knowing."

"Well, here you are, your chariot has delivered you to your doorstep."

"Thanks, Cam, I enjoyed it. Tell her I said good-bye, OK?"

"Sure. Study hard."

That evening after she wrapped up her work, she sat down with a glass of wine and thought about the day, Mandy and especially Cam. She had a good time and realized she adored little Mandy. The girl had so much energy, enthusiasm and smarts and even though she had lost the biggest person in her life, she seemed to be a good kid, a decent human. Eve slowly came to the decision she'd try to make herself available for Mandy and maybe give her some girl-time like her grandmother did.

And then there was Cameron. Cam. He seemed to be the genuine article, too, but there was a distance, a barrier he had erected around himself due to his tragedy. She found herself attracted to him and sometimes when he looked at her, she thought he might be attracted to her. But he was still grieving and probably couldn't, wouldn't let himself get involved with someone else. But she admitted she liked him and could see herself falling for him. He was, after all, a handsome guy. The age difference was only six years or so, she guessed, and when his grief wasn't showing, his smile could melt the Artic. He had a nice, friendly-looking face, gorgeous eyes and a body most women would love to hold.

'Enough!' she scolded herself as she finished the wine, 'He's not on the market and you should keep him in the friend zone so you can spend more time with Mandy.'

So, it was a huge surprise when he called her a few days later and asked her out.

"Uh, Eve, would you, uh, would you ever consider going out to dinner with me? You know, just the two of us?"

"Cam, are you asking me on a date because if you are, yes, I would love to. And Mandy?"

"I'd get a sitter. Best she not know about this, though. She might think, well, she might think there's more to it than a casual evening."

"I see. OK, get me some details. This weekend is out, I've got two nasty exams early next week and have to study. After that I should be clear for a couple of weeks."

"Great. I'll call early next week and we can set something up for the following Saturday. OK?"

Eve's exams were a snap and on the following Friday evening and Saturday morning she studied so she could relax for her date with Cam that evening. She knew it must be hard for him to enter the dating scene again with all of his emotional baggage but she was hoping having a casual evening together might help him relax.

While showering and shaving her legs, she idly wondered if she should groom downstairs but she realized there was no way they'd be intimate. Suzanne had been his one and only and he was merely dipping his toe back into the dating pool. Surely, he wasn't looking to get laid! So, the grooming would be left for another day and probably for another man.

Being a poor student limited her clothing choices but she wanted to look nice, even sexy. She dug through her closet looking for the right outfit for a cool winter's night and there at the far back corner, she found it.

In front of the mirror, she dropped her robe and looked critically at the woman staring back at her. She was slightly taller and thinner than average but she still sported some nice curves. Her boobs were decent, at least she had never had any complaints, and she liked the gentle swell of her hips which gave her a soft, hour-glass figure. Her wavy blonde hair hanging down to her shoulders framed her face, a face she was proud of: nice blue eyes, slightly prominent cheek bones, small nose and slightly full lips. 'Perfect for an elf,' she chuckled to herself, 'Just add little pointed fake ears and white clown face.'

Her sexiest bra and matching panties went on first followed by the knee-length dark blue woolen dress which, despite its thickness, hugged her curves nicely. A woolen scarf wrapped over the modest neckline, stay up hose and low heels completed the outfit.

'Not bad, not bad at all,' she thought. She knew this was not a 'hot date' but she was still proud of her looks and wanted to look good for him. After all, he had already seen her in snowy, wet winter clothes on the sledding hill and now she wanted him to see the other Eve. And, to be honest, she wanted to be desired, even if nothing would ever come of it.

The second she opened her door to him, she knew it had worked. He paused a second with his mouth partly open and his eyes dilated before he seemed to regain the power of speech.

"Uh, hello, you ready?"

"Yes. Let me grab my coat and purse. You've got me all curious. Where're we going for dinner?"

"A little place called Guido's. Know it?"

"Heard of it. Heard it was expensive."

"Not too bad. I've never been there so it will be new for the both of us."

In the car they chatted mainly about her courses. She enthusiastically told him some of the interesting things she was working on including her first clinical sessions which were part of one class.

"We get to observe professionals and how they work with their patients, you know, the kids, and then we will have the opportunity to take over the counseling with them supervising us. This will go all year long so we'll get to really know the kids before it's all over."

"Sounds pretty neat."

"Yeah, and I know I've found what I want to do with my professional life. It's what I was meant to do, I guess."

Guido's was an exclusive restaurant serving Italian cuisine and featuring live music on the weekends. A jazz trio playing softly in front of a small dance floor added a nice ambiance to the atmosphere. Cam and Eve were seated at a small table, offered Italian bottled water and provided menus.

"Cam, this is lovely. And the food looks scrumptious."

"Yeah, I'd heard it was worth the trip. Wine?"

"Yes, please. You choose."

A few minutes later after they chose their entrees and as their red wine aired, they began to talk. They told each other more of their backgrounds, where they grew up and even some of their political views which fortunately were similar. What pleased Eve the most was how Cam was able to mention Suzanne without obvious discomfort or distress. Having poured it all out to her previously seemed to help him open up even more.

Dinner, consisting of foods she had never heard of, was delicious. She loved the small balls of sorbet between the courses and the dark, strong espresso which came with the elegant, rich torte dessert. The atmosphere, the wonderful food, the wine and the soft music all combined to give her a wonderful sensation she couldn't name, much less describe.

As she sat there with a soft smile on her face, Cameron leaned towards her and asked, "Care to join me for a dance?"

Care to join him? Who wouldn't? Of course, she wanted to dance with him. It would make the evening complete, perfect even, to sway in the arms of a handsome man after such a wonderful meal.

"Yes, I'd love to."

Cam held her loosely in his arms as he began to lead her around the tiny dance floor. Could he dance! In no time she felt transported to another dimension as the rhythm of the bass penetrated her and he guided her expertly, keeping perfect time and never once stepping on her toes. After the first dance, three other couples came to the dance floor leaving them less room to maneuver and forcing them closer.

She snuggled up to him, rested her head on his shoulder and brought her pelvis to his. For a second, she thought he might resist but once the slower, more sensual music started, his body seemed to relax as his arms tightened around her. Eve had never felt so cherished as she felt that night in his arms. And she realized she was getting turned on. If the circumstances had been different, she could see herself sleeping with him, but she knew it would never happen. He still needed a lot of healing before he'd ever become intimate with another woman.

Then she felt it! A subtle pressure at first before a definite swelling pushed into her lower belly. He was getting excited! She could feel his erection! And it thrilled her to think he was excited dancing with her. Unfortunately, she felt him try to pull his pelvis back from her, something she definitely did not want him to do. She loved feeling his arousal so she slid her hand down his back and pulled him to her.

"This is so embarrassing," he whispered in her ear.

She tipped her head up to him smiling. "I don't think so. Kinda gives a girl positive feedback." When he tried to pull back a second time, she held him tighter. "You're not going anywhere, Mister," she giggled, "So get used to it."

They finished the dance to the band announcing a five-minute break and walked back to their table with him following her closely. She grinned to herself knowing he was trying to hide his erection but at the table, she made no further mention of it. After talking for a few more minutes and finishing their drinks, he settled the bill and they made their way towards the door. She was pleased he escorted her with his arm loosely across her low back and opened the car door for her. They were quiet on the way back to her place but her mind was racing with unanswered questions. 'Should I invite him in? What about a kiss?'

At her place he opened her car door and escorted her up the sidewalk but without his arm on her back. On the porch she turned to him saying, "I had a lovely time. Thank you."

"Yeah, nice. Uh, sorry about the, uh, you know."

"Cam, it was completely OK and like I said, it gives a girl a thrill knowing the guy responds to her."

"Well, anyway, I'm not in control of myself when I have a lovely lady in my arms."

"You think I'm lovely? Wow, you just made my night."

"Yes, you are. Look, I'd better be going. The sitter wanted to leave early tonight, something about a late date with her boyfriend."

"OK, Cam."

"Well, gotta go." He started to turn away when she gently grabbed his hand and pulled him to her.

"Not so fast," she whispered as she reached up and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He pulled back and looked at her as if he wanted to kiss her but, with a slight frown, he pulled back.

"Goodnight, Eve. Sweet dreams."

"You, too. Goodnight."

Inside her place she sat down with a tiny glass of port and relived the evening. It had been wonderful although he clearly appeared uncomfortable at times, particularly when she gave him that kiss on his cheek. She knew it was due to everything which had happened to him and the newness of their relationship, yet as much as she might have wanted things to move along a little faster (God, did she feel good when she danced with him!), she knew she needed to take it slow.

-----

They texted a couple of times the following week but it became rapidly apparent he was not one to text very often. She kept hoping he might ask her out again but it was nearly two weeks later before he called.

"Hey, it's me."

"Hi, Me," she laughed, "What's up?"

"Been busy at work. How's school?"

"Great. I love the clinical section I told you about. Some of those kids are so sweet and if they can be helped now, it should make things so much nicer for them in the long run."

"That's great and it's neat you've found something you're passionate about."

"Yeah. You've been busy, huh?"

"New project at work, all hush-hush but I've got a good team. Uh, say, would you like to get together again? You know, maybe with Mandy?"

"I'd love to. She's a real peach. What'd you have in mind?"

"Maybe a movie night at our place, that is if you can stand Disney."

"I love Disney movies. You know what I like to do with them?"