I Wanna Mommy fo' Chwismus

"You really did set me up, didn't you?" he chuckled.

"Yes, and I'm glad I did. And if you are sad now and then, if you get teary or even if you get way down in the dumps, it's OK! Believe me. I understand."

"Thank you. Means a lot to me. Say, want some slightly warm and flat champagne?"

"Of course."

"Then I propose a toast to the nicest person to come my way in the past year and a half. To you."

"Thank you. And here's to the nicest person I think I have ever met. To you."

They swallowed their drinks before he reached over, turned off the lights and snuggled down with her in his arms.

Eve woke up the next morning having slept remarkably well. She wasn't used to sharing a bed with anyone but found it comfortable and it was even nicer when she felt him lightly touch her during the night as he changed positions. The closeness was an unexpected though wonderful aspect of being in bed with him. She stretched quietly trying not to waken him and slid out of bed to go to the bathroom. Once she tinkled, she ran a toothbrush quickly over her teeth to rid herself of any morning mouth before going back into the main room.

She sat quietly in the chair while watching him sleep. Her mind drifted back to their day together, their dinner and the wonderful time in bed. For them having done it for the first time, she thought things went rather well. Even the tears didn't dampen her enthusiasm and she decided she'd love to drag him to bed again and again.

Once he stirred and opened his eyes, she suddenly felt self-conscious sitting nude in the chair but when she saw his sly little grin, she started to giggle.

"Huh, I wake up and see a gorgeous woman sitting nude across from me and all she can do is laugh. What's wrong with this picture?"

"Nothing. She didn't know what you'd think and was relieved to see your grin."

"Well, good. Say, uh, I'm suffering from a caffeine deficiency. How about I order us a light breakfast and then maybe we can order up some fun before we have to leave?"

"Sounds great. Bathroom's open but there's a toll before you go in there."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. One kiss."

"Gladly."

While he was in the bathroom, she ordered a house special breakfast for two with extra coffee. They were both hungry and quickly polished off the meal. Once the tray was moved over to the corner, Cam reached over to her only to have her pull back.

"Unhand me, you cad," she laughed, "You must think I'm easy because of my dress, huh?"

"I'd say it's your lack of dress, actually."

"Well, if that's all it takes, I should have stripped weeks ago. Wait, what are you doing?" she asked in mock horror as he advanced on her, trapping her in a corner.

"I've decided I want a little dessert and you look sweet enough to eat."

"Oh, God, after your eating me last night, I don't know if I could walk out of here if you did it again."

"You didn't like it?"

"I didn't say that, now did I?"

"No. But right now I want to make love, a slow Sunday kind of love, like the old song says."

"Yeah, me too." She pulled him close and tugged him into bed. After lots of kissing, stroking and teasing, they ended up with her lying on him and riding him in a slow, leisurely manner. Her breasts dragged across his wiry hairs, her lips engaged his and his arms wrapped tightly around her lower back. The tempo and enthusiasm slowly built until they were both moaning in the throes of increasing excitement. This was no pornographic circus act; this was two lovers engaging in the oldest dance known while enjoying their own pleasure and the pleasure of their partners. After she climaxed, she continued to ride him until he too climaxed with a loud groan. She collapsed down on him, enjoying the warmth and closeness with a truly wonderful guy.

An hour and a half later, the freshly showered lovers were headed back to the city. As he drove, they spoke little, each seemingly content to think back about the weekend. As they neared the city, Cameron cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Eve, this was a fantastic weekend. And I want to thank you for thinking of it, planning it..."

"And I want to thank you for paying for it," she chuckled.

"Yeah, sure. Glad to. Anyway, I hope I didn't turn you off last night, you know."

"No, not at all."

"I, uh, I can safely say I'd like to do this again, you know."

"Do what again?" she smiled at him.

"You know,..."

"Oh, you poor dear man. Embarrassed to say it? How about I say it? You want to go to the falls again? No? Or go for another hike? No? Oh, maybe you mean you want to get naked and have your way with me. Is that it? Yeah, I thought so. So, you want to have sex again with me?"

He nodded yes.

"Uh-uh. You gotta say it. Out loud."

"OK, you want it out loud? Then here it is. I want to make love with you. I want to have sex with you. I want to lick you all over. I want to make you come with my tongue. I want to crawl on top of you and have my way with you. I want to screw until we're exhausted. There, happy?"

"Happy? Damn, I want you to pull over right now and get busy," she laughed. "OK, so we're in agreement. More sex. Exclusive?"

"Yes, absolutely.

"But there's one thing we need to talk about and that's Mandy," he went on, "She's the center of my universe and I'll not do anything to hurt her."

"I know you wouldn't, Cam."

"She's still pretty young and I can't have her lose someone else in her life so I ask that we keep our relationship very loose and casual in front of her. No holding hands, no PDA, nothing. If she saw it, she'd think you and I were going to end up together and since we don't know yet where this will lead, I think it's best we act like we're simply friends."

"I couldn't agree more. Now about sex..."

"Only when she's not around. No sneaking into a bedroom when she's asleep in her room. It will have to be when she's visiting or has a babysitter, you know."

"Good. I hope you have a lot of babysitters," she chuckled, "I had fun last night and I'd love to do it again soon."

"Me, too."

For the next month, they tried to get together privately for a night and not just an afternoon quickie, but their schedules didn't allow it. Eventually he asked one of Mandy's friend's mother if she'd be willing to 'invite' Mandy over. The lady agreed with the promise he'd return the favor some day. Eve and Cameron stayed at his place that night preferring to be quickly available in case Mandy got homesick or the mother had an emergency. Fortunately, they had a completely uninterrupted night and when Eve left in the morning, she realized how close she felt when she slept with Cameron in addition to having sex with him.

She and Cam were able to still sneak away alone occasionally but what surprised her was how much she enjoyed being with Mandy. She liked watching a 'normal' child grow and develop as compared to a lot of the patients she had been exposed to during the clinical sections of her schooling. And Mandy seemed to thrive on the attention. Sometimes the three of them would do things together and sometimes she would tell Cam she would come over only if she could do girl things with Mandy. Some of those visits were the most rewarding as Mandy seemed to thrive with the attention of an adult woman.

In late-August, Mandy celebrated her fifth birthday. She wanted a party desperately and Eve agreed to help Cameron host one for several of Mandy's preschool friends. Mandy's three grandparents were invited to attend, something which made Eve nervous. Would she be able to maintain an air of casual friendship in the questioning minds of Suzanne's parents and his mother? Since she had already agreed to help, she didn't feel she could weasel out at the last minute so she told herself to play the 'friend' to the best of her ability.

On the big day, things were chaotic with five little preschoolers running around but Eve was able to get them settled down for the present opening. Each of the girls had brought a simple gift and Eve was pleased to see how polite Mandy was in thanking each girl. Then she opened Eve's present, a beginner's reading book.

"Oh, Eve, wead it to us, pwease!"

"No, Mandy, I want you to read it to me!

"But I can't wead."

"Well, this book will help you learn. After the party you and I can work on it, OK?"

Mandy was quickly distracted by the other presents and the giggling girls who were soon in her room playing with her dolls. As Eve was picking up the dirty plates, Cameron ended up talking with Suzanne's father Bill while watching a baseball game. Both his mother and mother-in-law volunteered to help. It was her worst fear, being cut out from the herd, and she knew questions would soon follow.

"So, Eve, how is it that you and Cam met?" asked Cam's mother, Ellen.

"Oh, I was an elf helping Santa at the mall last Christmas and he accidentally left a bag when he went to take Mandy home. I was able to track him down and when I returned it, he offered to buy me a coffee. He's such a nice guy, your son is, and we've kept in touch since then." The last thing she wanted to do was tell them about Mandy's Christmas wish.

"Mandy seems to like you," said Suzanne's mother, Louise.

"Yes, she's adorable. I'm majoring in child psychology and it's so fascinating to see firsthand what I've been learning about at the U."

Louise went on, "Are you and Cam, uh, seeing each other?"

"Seeing each other?"

"Yes, you know, are you romantically involved?"

The question had the faintest hint of criticism and Eve knew any woman who would potentially replace this woman's daughter would face a lot of scrutiny. "Oh, no, we're...I guess you could say we're socially involved. That's all."

"I see. Mandy seems to adore you."

"Yes, and I adore her. Such a sweet kid who's been through a lot. And Louise, I can't imagine what it's been like for you and your husband but I want you to know you have my sympathy. No one should ever have to suffer the loss of a child."

"Why, thank you. It has been very hard for us," she paused, fighting back some tears before going on, "Uh, so you and Cam are not an item?"

"Oh, no, no, we're not an item. We're friends." 'Friends with benefits, maybe, but I can't tell her that,' she thought.

Ellen jumped back in. "I've known my son forever and he seemed nervous around you today. I wonder if he may have feelings for you."

"Well, Ellen, if he has, he's never let me know."

"You know, Ellen, I think you're right. He did seem a little antsy," added Louise.

"I know you two have suffered a lot, especially you, Louise, and I'm sure you want the best for Cam and Mandy. But I assure you, we are not a couple. When we get together, I spend more time with her than with him."

That much was true. When they weren't out together privately, most of Eve's time was wrapped up with Mandy. But Eve knew these two women wouldn't understand the relationship at all well. Hell, even Eve didn't understand it, sometimes. Cam seemed to like her, he was always gracious, polite and not demanding at all. The sex was great, fabulous even, on those occasions when they could get together privately. And Eve knew deep down she had fallen for him but didn't sense a similar feeling from him, so she wanted to minimize the strength of the relationship to these two concerned mothers and grandmothers.

Fortunately, before they could continue their interrogation, the girls came racing into the kitchen, demanding more cake.

"Now, Kiddos, we promised your parents you wouldn't eat too much and spoil your appetite for dinner. If you're thirsty, I can offer you some fizzy water that will tickle your noses. OK?"

"Yeah!" "Let's!"

For the rest of the party, Eve stayed in the main room with all the girls and thereby avoiding any more interrogation from Ellen and particularly Louise. As things were wrapping up and Eve was making her way to the door, Cam said in a most casual way, "Thanks so much for your help today. I hope you got to see a lot of normal child behavior."

"Yes, I did. Wonderful kids, all of them." She gave Mandy a big hug and promised to help her with the new book before she turned to the door.

Ellen followed her out to the front steps. "Uh, Eve, it was so nice meeting you. By the way, Louise is a nice woman who has had a terrible loss and if she was prying too much, please excuse her."

"I didn't think she was prying at all."

"Well, in any event, I think I sense a spark between you two and I wanted you to know that I approve."

"Ellen, thank you, but your son is still struggling and quite honestly, I don't see us being more than friends anytime soon." 'Well, at least anything more than a roll in the hay now and then,' she thought sadly to herself. "It's been nice meeting you. Take care."

"You, too, Eve."

-----

The next few times with Mandy were a hoot. Mandy was so excited about going to a 'real' kindergarten and insisted Eve help her with reading her new book. Eve was tickled at how quickly Mandy took to reading and seemed way more proficient than most kids her age.

She and Cam were able to go out together without Mandy every couple of weeks or so. They continued to have great fun in the sack where their love making seemed to bring her closer and closer to him. But she still sensed reserve on his part. He seemed to avoid discussions about his feelings and about their relationship. And the word 'love' was never in the conversation, at least she didn't want to bring it up and presume they were anything more than friends with benefits. He certainly didn't use the word, much to her slowly increasing dismay.

At Halloween Cam had asked Eve if she would stay with Mandy for the weekend as he had to attend a major conference out of town. She helped at the kindergarten Halloween party and even walked Mandy around the neighborhood for Trick-or-Treating. It was the first time she slept at their place and, per his instructions, in his bed. He had changed the sheets but his wonderful, musky aroma was everywhere in the room. She had the hardest time trying to fall asleep as she thought about him, no, as she fantasized about him and how she wanted to be with him. But she realized he was not ready for another serious relationship and she'd have to accept it and either live with it or move on. But that would hurt little Mandy, the wonderful girl she had come to love as if she were her own daughter or little sister. After several hours of tossing and turning, Eve fell into a troubled sleep.

Once he returned, Cameron privately promised Eve he'd make it up to her and made arrangements for another night at the falls. Sexual tension with thick between them as they drove up there and once they were in the room, he picked her up and threw her laughingly on the bed.

"I've wanted you for weeks, Girl, and now I've got you."

"What are you going to do to me, Mister Tough Guy?"

"First I'm gonna take your clothes off and then I'm gonna kiss you everywhere until you beg me to stop. Then I'm gonna keep going until you scream for me to stop," he laughed some more.

"Well, Mister Tough Guy, I guess I have no option but to submit but remember: what goes around, comes around."

The next two hours were beyond fantastic. They didn't merely go down on each other, they didn't screw, they didn't fuck. No, they made wild, passionate love until they were both beyond sated. As it grew dark outside, she lay curled up next to him with her head on his chest while enjoying the slow little brushes of his hands on her back and through her hair.

But her mind was racing. This was the perfect moment. This was the moment when true feelings should have been expressed. This was the moment she desperately wanted to hear him say the word she'd wanted to hear for weeks, months even. But she refused to say it first. He was still suffering, even after almost two years, and the last thing she wanted to do was pressure him. A few tears puddled in her eyes and as she tried to casually wipe them clear, a couple fell on his chest.

"You OK?"

"Yeah, fine."

"Why the tears?"

"Oh, Cam, you don't completely understand women, do you?"

"Uh, I guess not. Why?"

"We can cry when we're happy."

"And you're happy? I know I am."

"Yes, Honey, I'm happy," she said, knowing she was telling him only part of the story. 'Maybe I'll go straight to hell for lying to the one man I've fallen in love with, but if I told the truth, well...' she thought to herself.

The rest of the time there was wonderful and when he dropped her off at her place, he had the look of a lost puppy looking for home. She kissed him goodbye before turning to open her door.

"Eve, uh..."

"Yes?" Hope soared in her heart.

"Oh, uh, just wanted to say again how much fun I had. Thank you."

"Me, too. You're welcome." As the door shut behind her, tears streamed down her face. 'I thought he was going to say it,' she muttered to herself, 'But he didn't. I guess he means more to me than I do to him.'

That night after her shower, she sat on her bed thinking about him, about Mandy and about herself. She slowly came to the realization she would have to distance herself from them, as painful as it might be. What hurt the most was how it would affect Mandy. Yeah, Eve would hurt but she would know why but little Mandy couldn't begin to understand things. And what's more, she would be losing the second adult woman in her young life. How would she, how could she recover?

-----

Over the next two weeks she spent time at their house on two occasions. One was fairly uneventful but on the second, Eve realized how attached Mandy had become to her. They were in her room working on Mandy's reading while Cam was doing some light yard work outside.

"You're doing so well with your reading! I'm proud of you."

"Thanks. Uh, Eve?"

"Yes?"

"Do you like helping me?"

"I love helping you. You're such a smart cookie."

"I like you helping me, too. Daddy twies but sometimes he's busy and can't."

"It's hard taking care of you, fixing the meals and going to work. He's a busy man."

"I know." Next came the dreaded words Eve had been fearing since December. "Why don't you live here and help?"

"Oh, Sweetie, that wouldn't work. I have to go to school, too."

"But I want you to live here!" she sniffled.

"I know you do but it just won't work. Here, let me give you a hug and dry your tears." Some twenty minutes later, Mandy was sound asleep in Eve's arms. She looked so peaceful but Eve knew the pain of losing her mother and now being with a struggling dad was so, so stressful for the little girl. She eased her way out of Mandy's arms, pulled a small blanket over her and slipped outside.

"She's asleep and I think I'd best be going."

"Asleep? Really?"

"Yeah, she had a little meltdown after I told her I couldn't live here. She should be good when she wakes up."

"Thank you, Eve, you have no idea how much it means to me."

"You're welcome. Gotta run. Give me a call, eh?"

-----

When Cam asked her to come over for Thanksgiving, she almost declined. Since Cam was clearly still struggling with his grief and guilt, she had been wondering if she shouldn't slowly distance herself from them. However, she realized it was a special holiday and she should probably go. He had invited the three grandparents which made her particularly nervous but she decided to soldier on. Fortunately, there were no pointed questions about her and once they sat down to eat, she was able to relax. Instead of any prayers, they went around the table letting each person tell what they were thankful for on that day.

Mandy told them she was thankful for Eve teaching her to read and the grandparents each mentioned personal things they were thankful for. When it was Cam's turn, he stumbled a second before he looked at Eve and said he was thankful she was such a good example for Mandy.