I Want to Possess You Ch. 01

Today was the day. Jake had been up since five, even though he wasn't going to see her until the evening. It was just too difficult to sleep. He had been sleeping poorly all month, but this last day was the worst by far. It was the knowledge of what was to come; he couldn't stop his imagination from running wild.

Thirty days. Jake couldn't believe it had been this long, that he had lasted this long. He had never waited this long before, not since he was a boy. At first it had only been a slight annoyance, a dull ache. But as the weeks passed, his need began to seep into every aspect of his life. He couldn't focus in lecture, couldn't concentrate on his assignments. He stammered whenever he talked to a cute girl. For the first time in years, he began having wet dreams again. They were so lucid, so real, as if he were reliving sexual experiences that he had never had. They were intense. They were painful.

And they were never satisfying.

It was so early, there was nobody else in the shower room. That was good for Jake, because he was scared to death of being seen naked, of having his shameful secret exposed. As the warm water ran down his body, his hands drifted, almost unconsciously, to his crotch. Beneath his trembling fingers he felt the cold metal, the walls of the tiny, inescapable prison that he had endured for the past month. It had been strange at first, uncomfortable and even painful, but now he couldn't remember what it was like to live without it. He couldn't remember what it was like to be free.

When he got to the dining hall, there were already a few people there. Jake looked around, his heart pounding, but he didn't see Ari. He didn't expect to, of course, but sometimes her absence was just as powerful as her presence. "I want you to always be thinking about me," she had said with a playful smirk. She had raised her eyebrows, and then glanced down pointedly at his crotch. "That's why I gave you my present. So it can be a constant reminder of me."

He remembered that fateful day, the day he had dared to ask out the pretty girl who sat in front of him in Chemistry. Amongst a sea of smelly engineers she had stood out like a lily in mud. Every Monday and Wednesday he would stare at her back, at her smooth, long raven hair, at the exquisite curve of her neck and shoulders. But the real treat was when she would turn, and he would catch a glimpse of her side profile as she talked to someone beside her. Once she had spun around and asked him for a pencil; he fell in love immediately. Her eyes were so beautiful that he had been caught off guard, and he didn't know what to say. Then she had laughed. It wasn't just the cutest laugh Jake had ever heard: it was also a teasing, knowing laugh, as if she saw right through him.

Jake didn't know where he had gotten the courage from. He didn't even know if she was single; she always sat with different men, most of them tall and athletic looking. She would talk to them and flirt with them, but he could never tell if she was dating them or not. Whenever he saw her talking with another man, her expression animated and passionate, he felt the sharp, stabbing pain of jealousy deep in his being. He wished, more than anything else, that she would talk to him like that, that he could be the one sitting next to her.

It hadn't been planned. Jake had been playing a game on his phone and when he looked up, the classroom was empty. Empty except for her. She was scribbling down some last minute notes, and when he stood up she did too. They reached the door at the same time and he paused, letting her pass by. She was wearing a tank top and a short skirt, even though it was solidly mid-autumn; he had noticed that she always liked to dress on the light side. Before he knew what he was doing he had stammered out his request. It sounded pathetic to him and he was sure it sounded pathetic to her too, but there was no taking it back. It hung in the air like an impotent stormcloud, never bursting but making the air uncomfortably damp.

For a terrible moment he thought she would ignore him, that she would just keep walking until she was gone from his life forever. In a way that was almost a relief. But she turned, and for the first time she looked directly at him. She looked him up and down with a slight smile on her face, and he felt naked even though he was wearing three layers. Finally she looked him in the eye and he looked back, all too conscious of the proximity of her lean, athletic body. If he reached out he could touch her, caress the smooth stomach showing beneath her tank top, slide his hands up and down her bare legs. He shivered.

"Jake, right?" He was surprised she knew his name. "I don't really feel like going out for dinner tonight. It's kind of cold. But... why don't you come over to my place instead? I could cook something for us, watch a show or two. My roommate's gone for a volleyball tournament, so we'll have the dorm all to ourselves." She laughed at his shocked expression. "What's wrong, you've never done Netflix and chill before?" When he stayed silent, she raised her eyebrows. "Well, I can guarantee you've done it with a girl like me before," she said.

It was only when he was back in his dorm that he realized Ari hadn't waited for him to answer.

When she answered the door, she was wearing yoga pants and a loose, semi-translucent t-shirt. It was clear that she wasn't wearing a bra. Jake felt his heart begin to pound. He hadn't expected things to happen so quickly. No, he hadn't expected anything to happen at all. Not with Ari.

"Come in," she said. "Dinner is ready."

And so it was. Jake had never smelled anything better. She had cooked a colorful assortment of Chinese dishes, accompanied by steaming bowls of rice. Jake hesitated at first; he had never had dinner with a girl before, not like this. He didn't want to make a fool of himself. But his stomach growled, and before he knew it, he was digging in like a starving dog.

It was delicious.

As they ate, Ari asked Jake about himself. At first he sputtered, unable to form coherent sentences. But over time he found himself relaxing, assured by Ari's smiles and nods. He told her about his childhood in the Bronx, playing the tuba at band competitions, his favorite classes in high school. It all sounded painfully dull to him, but she looked at him like he was the most interesting man in the world. Jake had always thought that "getting lost" in somebody's eyes was a liberty taken by penny fiction authors, but when Ari looked at him, he forgot where he was. Her attention was like a warm embrace, and he wanted nothing more than to sink further into it.

When they finished, he carried over the dishes to the sink. "Oh, don't worry about those," she said. "I'll do them later."

He turned. Ari was standing in the doorway to the bedroom. She raised a hand and beckoned him towards her. He felt himself move, as if dragged forward by an invisible force.

Her bedroom was messy, not at all like how he imagined a girl's room would be. He saw a bra on the floor and blushed. Ari was sitting on the bed, her dangling legs rocking back and forth, like she was on a swing. She patted the space beside her, and he sat down. He was in a dream.

"Look at me," she said. There was something in her tone now, something that had not been present at dinner. The coyness, the playfulness was still there, but now there was an element of firmness. It was almost like a command.

He looked at her, and she looked back. Her eyes were so beautiful, yet so unyielding. They looked right through him. Jake was acutely aware of her body beside him, of its warmth, the way it oozed desire.

She smiled. He was completely disarmed. He was bashed, battered, broken. He was nothing.

And then she asked him, "Do you want to fuck me?"

Jake felt his whole body grow warm. He felt lightheaded. He could barely breathe.

Ari laughed. "You're adorable. You really are. You never thought your first time would be with a girl like me, did you?" Then, abruptly, she reached out with both hands and put them on the sides of his head. Her lips looked so soft, so inviting. He wondered what it would be like to feel them part, to taste the sweetness inside. "I asked you a question," she said. "It's only polite to answer."

"Yes," he breathed out. "Yes. Yes."

Her eyes twinkled in delight. "Good," she said. "Very good."

But she did not kiss him, and she made no effort to touch him or move closer.

Jake could no longer contain himself. He lifted a hand, not knowing where it was going.

Ari grabbed his wrist. Her touch was soft and firm at the same time. She saw his expression and giggled. "I asked if you wanted to fuck me. I didn't say I would let you."

Jake's eyes widened. He didn't understand. Her touch was like electricity; it sent a jolt through him, traveling up his arm and down his torso, until it seemed to go into his groin. He was so hard that it hurt.

"You must think I'm easy," she said, gently. "You must think me a..., well, a slut." She looked at him innocently.

"No! That's not what I think at all!"

"You're so adorable when you try to lie. Come on, admit it. You thought that a beautiful girl like me would be willing to put out for you on the first date, after she cooked a delicious dinner for you and asked you to tell her all about your titillating life. Isn't that right?"

Jake was beyond confused. It was like there was a fog in his mind, blocking out all conscious thought. She was still so close to him, and she was still holding his arm tightly. He wanted more of her. He needed more, so badly.

"It's okay. I really do enjoy spending time with you. I like how easily I can get you to blush and get all flustered. If I was like one of those other sluts, maybe I would let you fuck me on the first date. But I'm not like that. You can try your luck with them, but if you want me, you'll have to play by my rules."

"What... what are your rules?"

She leaned towards him. They were so close now that he could feel her breath on his face. "This hookup culture on campus that everyone indulges in, it doesn't interest me. It's so shallow, and so quick. I could let you fuck me right now, nice and hard, until you came inside me; I don't think it would take very long, judging by that bulge in your pants. And then we would go our separate ways and never talk to each other again. But what would be the point in that? A fleeting moment of pleasure, mostly for you, and then nothing."

She ran her other hand through his hair. Jake felt oddly comforted. "No, I want something deeper. I want to throw aside all the silly conventions of dating and hookup culture and connect with you in a way that you never have before, and never will again. I want to know who you really are. I don't want you to use me; I want to use you." Ari paused, her eyes gleaming like diamonds.

"I want to possess you."

Those words sent a tremor through his entire being. He felt as if he were a man discovering water for the first time, not realizing that he had been thirsty all his life.

She draped an arm around his shoulder. It felt wrong; Jake had the vague notion that the man was supposed to be the one putting his arms around the woman, not the other way around. But he didn't want to move. Ari placed her other hand gently in his lap. His cock flared up at the light contact and strained upwards, begging for more.

"I know this is what you want," she said. "I can tell. I always can. You lust after all these girls on campus wearing skimpy outfits, on the arms of other men. There's something about promiscuous women that just makes you so insecure. But you don't want to possess them. You think you do, but you don't. What you really want is to be possessed, to have all your problems and insecurities taken away. I can do that for you. You don't need to chase other girls anymore, you don't need to worry about getting laid. You just need to be mine."

She adjusted her hand slightly in his lap. Jake didn't know if she was doing it on purpose, but there was more pressure now on his shaft. He was afraid that he was going to explode, right there. "Are you ready to hear the rules?" She asked.

Jake swallowed. He nodded. His heart was pounding so hard it was deafening.

Her breath was warm on his ear. She whispered, quietly, but he had never heard anything more erotic. "If you can refrain from cumming for a month, I'll let you fuck my mouth." That was it, so simple, yet so devious. "You've never had a blowjob before, have you? Don't lie, it's okay. It's going to feel so good, and you're going to cum harder than you ever have in your virgin life. You're going to shoot all of that stored up semen into my warm, tight throat, and I'm going to swallow every drop. Is that something you would like?"

Without warning, she tightened her grip. Jake felt his entire body spasm, but Ari held him tightly with her other arm. There was nowhere for him to go. She literally had him by the balls.

"I don't know if I can do it," he gasped. "I've never gone so long before."

"Then it will be a new experience. For both of us. I want to share this with you, Jake."

An unintelligible sound escaped his mouth. It could have been a whimper.

"Of course, you don't have to agree. I respect your consent. You can walk away now, or at any point over the next thirty days. But you'll never get to feel my mouth. And you do want that, don't you?"

It was a rhetorical question. She knew what his answer would be. Somewhere in his foggy mind, he imagined what it would feel like. The first week, then the second, and then finally, that big release. His entire body ached.

"It's been a few days since I touched myself," he said pathetically. "Could I -- please -- could I get myself off before the month starts?"

Ari laughed. At that moment, Jake couldn't tell if she looked more like a devil or an angel. "Oh, Jake, my poor, poor Jake. It's going to get much worse for you. So much worse."