I Want You to Look

"Where is it? The one from yesterday."

"You mean the tissue?" She asked, slightly confused by my question.

"Yeah, it was gone when I came back. So what happened to it? Did you throw it away?"

"What? No, of course not", she said, absolutely bewildered by the very idea of me asking something like that.

"So, where is it then?"

She didn't immediately respond, instead taking her time to think it over."You really wanna know?"

I just gave her a stern nod.

"Yesterday wasn't the first time I found one of your leftover loads. I actually came across one a few weeks ago. A little over two weeks ago to be more exact.

The first time I saw it, I knew what it was. I may have been in denial for a moment, I mean, it couldn't be, not my sweet older brother. He could never do something so nasty and vile. But I knew, in my heart of hearts, that it had to be true. You are only human after all.

I didn't know exactly why, and I'm still not sure, but for some inexplicable reason, I was drawn to it, to your nasty, filthy cum. So, I went in closer, and yep, my suspicion was confirmed. That was definitely cum. Your cum. So I did what every other sane sister would do when finding her brother's filthy cumrag, I sniffed it.

She suddenly looked at me expectantly, trying to maybe see if I might offer up some response to that absolute bombshell she just dropped, and all I could think of to say was, "So, uh, what were you doing in my room?"

She suddenly let out an enormous belly laugh, probably laughing harder than I'd ever heard from her before. It was actually surprising how long it went on. Literal tears were going down her cheeks by the time she was finished. She wiped her tears away, smiled broadly, and said, "Only you Lukas, would ask a girl what she was doing in your room, when she, this girl, me, just confessed that I sniffed your fucking cum. Oh my God, this is so hilarious." She wiped even more tears away, before breaking out in even further giggles.

I just stood there at a loss for words. Not knowing what to say, or what to do.

She looked at me with a devious smile on her face and said, "Hey big bro, you sure look uncomfortable over there, just standing around. Why don't you come over here, sit down on the bed with me and listen to me finish my tale? C'mon, it will be fun."

I did so reluctantly, sitting on the very edge of the bed.

She looked at me, an almost sad expression forming on her face, and asked, "Lukas, why are you being like this?"

"Like what, Klara?"

"Like that, like this person, this nervous schoolboy. Are you disgusted by me, is that it, huh."

"What? No, don't be ridiculous."

"I knew I should've just kept my mouth shut", she said, tears forming once again, but certainly not in joy this time. I hated seeing her like this.

I went in, attempting to hug her, to console her, but she resisted my attempt. For only a few moments that is, before accepting my brotherly hug. She absolutely melted in my arms, and it wasn't lost on me that she had her full, naked breasts pressed against my chest.

I whispered some sincere apologies in her ear, telling her that it was all okay, that I still loved her, and that I didn't see her any differently.

I understood why she was acting so emotionally. She was in a vulnerable position, telling me this deeply personal story, and was afraid I would see her differently.

The truth was, I did see her differently now. Not in the way she was probably thinking, but my perception of her definitely changed after hearing her side of the story.

Before, even when I walked through that door, I still thought of her as my very sexy sister. I didn't want to fuck her as she so crudely stated. Yes, I fantasized about her, I admit it, but I never thought about the possibility of actually fucking her. Now I know how way she feels. I now know that she wanted me to fuck her. She basically admitted it. Now, I'm thinking of actually fucking my sister. Right here, right now, on this bed.

So, what should I do? Do I do it? Do I go ahead and pin her down on this bed and just have my way with her, and devile her? No, I could, and would never do that. Even if I wanted to, which I do, I really, really do. But she's my baby sister. I'll look, I can't keep myself from looking, but I will never have sex with her.

That's why I acted so strangely before, I felt my control slipping, I didn't know how to act around her, completely enveloped by my overwhelming lust for her. But I'm fine now.

Holding her in my arms, reminded me of the important role I play in her life. I'm her brother, her protector, and her biggest supporter, and that is all I ever will be. And I'm fine with that.

I patted her on the back two times, signaling to her that I was going to break the intimate embrace between us, which I then did.

"So, I never actually told you what I did in your bedroom that first time, did I?"

I sat down next to her on the bed, over the sheet, of course, and said, "No I don't believe you did, I do however seem to recall you being very busy laughing at me." And then I made a face, pretending to sulk.

She let out a giggle before she replied, "I was not laughing at you, you big baby. I just laughed because that was such a you thing to say."

"What do you mean?" I questioned with an exaggerated incredulous gasp.

"We both know you're a stickler for the rules, stick up his butt kind of guy." She said with a smug look, almost daring me to retort.

This time, I think I actually did let out a real involuntary incredulous gasp. "What!? That's so not true," but we both knew I was talking straight-up polony. Truth was, I could be slightly pedantic at times. But hey, no one's perfect. Besides, there's nothing wrong with wanting a little order every now and then. I mean, set rules are there for a reason.

She didn't reply, instead, she continued giving me that obnoxious look before she suddenly took on a more serious one.

"So, I told you I sniffed your semen, and that was true. And that was all I did: the first time. Yesterday, well, yesterday was a completely different story."

Now that certainly got my attention. I waited in anticipation for her to continue.

She paused for a minute, taking her time to get her thoughts in order before continuing, "Every day, since that first time I found that little surprise of yours in the bin, I looked for another one, but I came up short each time, until yesterday. That's when I found another, with an even bigger yield than last time. When I unwrapped the tissue, a copious amount of your jizz just laid inside, waiting for me. I thought, what a waste. Why were you wasting such a beautiful part of yourself, by literally throwing it in the garbage?

For the last two years, I feel like we've grown apart. And I know it's mostly my fault, but you also grew distant from me. I missed us being together as loving siblings, you know like we used to be. But I didn't know how to achieve that.

So I went into your room, just looking for something, anything that would bring us closer together. I just felt like I didn't know you anymore, and you were slipping further and further away.

Then I found something, something that I thought would bring you closer to me. So, I took a sniff of it, don't ask me why, but I did, and to be honest with you, I found it absolutely intoxicating. I found it so intoxicating in fact, that I wanted to do more with it, but I just didn't have the guts to at the time.

But yesterday, seeing that large amount of your cum, in that tissue, just did something to me. I swear I didn't plan on doing it, it just happened.

Yesterday, I licked your cum, before swallowing it, as much of it as I could, sucking it all up. But it didn't feel like I got enough of you, oh no, I had to have more. So... I did the only thing I could think of at the time, and that was to swallow your entire cum rag.

My God, it made me so freaking horny, so fucking wet. The wetness soaked through my panty, creating a big, wet spot. You couldn't miss it, that's why when you came back I had to cover up, keep my legs closed, so you couldn't see it. But I was tempted to show you, Lukas, I really was."

"And today? What did you do with the tissue today?" She couldn't see my face because sometime during her story, she laid back down, with her looking up at the ceiling, not moving her gaze from it, probably afraid she would see my face and find judgment and disgust for her in it.

But she needn't be worried. The only look she would have found if she looked up at my face, was pure, unadulterated desire.

"You know what I did", she answered timidly.

"Tell me."

She lifted herself up then, and looked at my face, seeing my lust for her seeping out of every pore.

I looked back at her angelic, deep blue eyes. Seeing the lust reflected back from them.

"I wanted to have you inside me, you know, carry you around with me. So, I did the only thing that I could think of. I stuck your filthy cum rag in my pussy, and pulled it out slowly, it came out soggy from all my girlcum, and you know what I did, I shoved it back in. Where it belongs."

We were so close, and we were slowly moving in even closer. I knew exactly where this was headed. So I had to reluctantly think up something to say that would diffuse the sexual tension between us.

"So, uh, you know you can get pregnant from doing that, right?

"No, of course not, thanks for enlightening a stupid plebeian like myself, good sir", she replied with sarcasm dripping off every word. Well, that's about the response I expected.

"So, are you on birth control or something?"

She let out an exasperated sigh and said, "Yes Lukas, of course, I am. Do you think I'm stupid or what? Do you really think I would want to have one of your retarded babies?" She probably saw my stunned facial expression because she suddenly gave me a sweet smile, before she added, "But I probably wouldn't mind having one of your babies, minus the retardation of course."

All I could think of to say was, "I don't think you can say that word anymore. It's a hate word, right?", which immediately send her into a fit of giggles. I watched her tits jiggle as she shook with mirth.

"Okay, where was I?" She asked, before letting out another round of giggles, "Okay, okay, I'll stop. Whew! Alright, I think last time I spoke about shoving your cumrag up my twat. Isn't that right?" She stared expectedly at me like she was waiting for me to corroborate her statement. I could only swallow heavily, my Addams apple bobbing in my throat.

She gave me a little smirk before she said, "Anyway, my dear brother, I kept it in there for a while, stewing it inside, stirring it around in my insides." She gauged my reaction and I doubt she was disappointed by what she saw, I probably looked like a deer in headlights.

Her talking about stirring that cum tissue around up her pussy, sure made something of mine stir; I was feeling the beginnings of a raging hardon begin to form.

"But it still wasn't enough for me, I needed more. So I forced more of my fingers inside. I don't know how many I got in, but I tried to get in as many as I could, trying to push your seed as deep as I could into my hungry little cunt. It all felt so taboo and forbidden, which made it feel so much better. At that moment I felt like the biggest slut in the world. I felt like my brother's personal seed receptacle. Your personal cumdumpster."

At that moment, right after that filth left her sweet lips, I pressed my own lips against hers. And she received them with all the passion she could muster.

It was an exhilarating feeling. It was so wrong, so completely fucked up. But at that moment, we didn't care. We kissed feverishly. The best way I could describe it was like we were sucking faces. I mean, it was just that intense. While I was sucking, licking, and tasting her lips, she did the same to mine, she was sucking on my tongue, and I was sucking on hers. It was a spit-swapping extravaganza.

I cupped her single exquisitely soft orb in my hand, felt it up, and squeezed, almost manhandling her delicate boob. If she felt any discomfort by my action, she definitely did not show it, on the contrary, she moaned even louder in my mouth, clutching me even tighter.

I've never felt so much hunger in my entire fucking life before, here I had my cute, completely bared-ass naked younger sister, in my arms, in anticipation of me fucking her. And she could very well be right in assuming that. By the way, we were kissing, one would assume we were wild animals, tearing away at each other. So it did seem like that was the most likely path we were headed.

The truth is I couldn't stop myself even if I wanted to. My mind was already made up. This was really going to happen. I was going to pound my sister into my bed.

I detached my lips and tongue from hers, a small string of saliva between us, still connected us as I pulled away, before breaking off.

I kissed her sweetly on the forehead then, and held it there for a moment, trying to show her warmth and gentleness, in contrast with our aggressive make-out session.

Then I looked at her, with love and tenderness. She looked back at me with this almost vulnerable look, but there was also still some clear affection and admiration in her eyes.

I removed the soiled sheet from her and exposed her shapely form to my avid gaze. I didn't want to stare too much at her exposed naked body, even though I knew she liked me looking at her. Because this was still my sister, I didn't want her to see me ogling her in a predatory fashion, even though I'm certain she would have preferred it if I did so.

I took off my shorts, and my underwear soon followed as I moved in between her thighs. She was very quick to open up her legs, as wide open as she could, probably straining her ligaments to their absolute limit. She was ready, she wanted it, there was no doubt in my mind.

I think I was ready, my cock definitely was. It was as stiff as a board and harder than it's ever been before. It couldn't have been any more ready to fuck this pussy in front of it. I couldn't see it, but I knew, I could feel the precum dripping out of my dickhole. I was so ready to pound the shit out of this fine ass bitch, and make this little cunt mine.

That's just the thing though. This wasn't some random whore off the street, this was my beloved little sister, and right now, I was thinking of her as some slut I could just stick my dick into. No, I had no right.

And what would Mom say if she was still here? Huh! You absolute degenerate piece of shit. Do you think she would condone this incestuous relationship? Fuck no. She told you to be there for Klara, to protect her from this unforgivingly cruel world. She made you promise. And what did you do? You failed. You've failed already. But does that mean you can continue failing? No. That is not an option. There is nothing that can be done about the past now. But at this moment, right here, right now, you have a choice. You can choose to do the right thing, or you can fuck up like you've always done.

I choose to do the right thing.

I got out from between her legs. She didn't try and stop me. I didn't look at her, I couldn't look at her. I just sat on the edge of the bed, looking straight out in front of me, contemplating what I would have done, and felt disgusted with myself. What Klara was thinking or feeling, I had no idea. And truth be told, I didn't want to know. I didn't feel her make any movements. She was stock-still. I only felt a gaze at the back of my skull. She was definitely looking at me but didn't say a single word. We must have sat there for a good 2-3 minutes, which felt like hours.

Until I felt her move. She shuffled around for a few moments before she got up, collected her clothing items from the floor, and left my room. I turned my head in another direction as she passed me. I made sure not to look at her. I felt ashamed somehow even though I was certain that I made the right decision.

I'm not sure if she looked back at me as she left. I like to believe that she did, even though she has every reason to be mad at me right now. She might not understand why I made this decision at the moment, but I know she will come to understand.

I sat there for who knows how long, replaying the crazy eventful day over and over again in my head. And there I sat until I realized something. Where is the tissue? I looked around for a bit but couldn't find it. She had to have taken it with her. I didn't know how to feel about that. But what I did know; this room suddenly felt very empty without her, and so did I.

---

"Hey, I'm home."

No response, as usual.

What was unusual though was her absence in the living room. That's quite a bit odd. Klara is very much a homebody so the odds of her leaving the house this time of day is very unlikely. She always got her butt plastered to that seat when I get home from work.

Why am even I so concerned about her whereabouts? She's probably in her room or the bathroom or something. Chill man, it's fine, she's fine, everything's fine.

Oh who am I kidding, I'm worried sick about her, and our relationship going forward. Things were already iffy between us, but now, I just don't know. I might have just screwed everything up between us.

This morning we ate breakfast in awkward silence, even more so than usual. I could barely look at her and when I did, her eyes looked downcast, just staring at her cereal, as I inhaled mine as fast as I could, trying to escape the unbearable tension between us.

It was not like we were the chattiest of siblings before, but this morning... man it was rough.

We are both a bit reserved so it's been hard for us to share our thoughts and feelings with each other. But it wasn't always this way. There was a time when we used to share everything together. A time when we would talk about anything and everything.

Yesterday was almost like the old days, well, minus the whole nudity and kissing and... I think you get my point. It truly felt like things were the way they were before between us. She laughed, actually laughed for the first time in God knows how long. Okay, she might have laughed at my expense, but that's the way things usually went. We used to have this dynamic going on, she was the annoying little sister and I the goody-goody two-shoes big brother. I was by no means perfect of course, oh no, far from it. But that was the roles we each played. Things were so much simpler back then.

But things changed, life happened, and I had to shift my role from a brotherly figure to a more fatherly one. And man, was I not ready. I was still so young when it happened, and had to grow up so fast. I was all alone too. No one to lean on for support, no one to talk to about how I felt. No one to guide me. I was completely alone.

And Klara had it even worse. She was of course even younger than I was when it happened and took it by far the hardest. She and Mom were also exceptionally close. Mom and I were close as well but those two just shared a very special bond, which, if I'm being completely honest, I wish I could've had with her.

Unlike me, Klara wasn't alone, but with our aunt being her role model and guardian, it probably would of been better if she was. Aunt Astrid wasn't exactly what you would call a poster child for stability. I'm not sure what happened in that house, but knowing my aunt, I have some ideas, and none of them are good.

I failed her. I admit it. I should have done more, tried to stay in touch, visited more, and tried to talk to her more often. But no, what did I do? Absolutely nothing. I might as well have abandoned her. No wonder she hated me. She probably still does.

And I just know something happened to her while she was living with our aunt. I just know it. She probably would never admit it, but I know. I know she's hiding something from me, and my absence allowed that thing to happen. I wasn't there to protect her, and for that, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.