Ice Melts, When It's Hot Ch. 08

Hello my beautiful readers!

First, please feel free to skip this authors note as I know it's a tad long winded. Second, know that any time I say to skip reading something, I'm only ever talking about my author's note and not my actual story. I never want you to skip reading my stories :) Third, I know it's been a while and I'm so sorry for the wait. What with the holiday season and illness going around, plus my personal life and starting a weight loss journey, I've either not had time or haven't been inspired to write. It is a little difficult to explain but even though I know everything that I want to happen in all my stories, sometimes the words just won't come to me and if I force myself to write, the chapter doesn't seem to turn out good and sounds phony to me. So I just let myself have a break, which was very difficult not to feel guilty about. I've read so many lovely, sweet, beautiful comments. Like for real ya'll, some of them made me cry happy tears! I feel so bad for the people that visit daily to see if I've updated and every time I read a comment saying that I feel the want to try again.

I never imagined any of my stories would have people wanting to come back so often. I wish I could write chapter after chapter in record time and upload every week but it's just not possible. However, every time I read your comments I do try to write, hoping that this time I'll be able to get the chapter out and the words right. Thankfully, I've finally done that and nearly finished three chapters across my four stories. I decided to post the chapter for this story first, for I know so many of you love Willow and Maxwell (but mostly Willow, lol). I tried to deliver on a nice length chapter and I hope it's enjoyable to read, despite the chaotic, melancholy tone. I love this chapter because it shows the subtle changes in Willow's ability and willingness to trust Max and I think Maxwell's love for Willow is beautiful. I do want to point out that if you haven't read True Nature and haven't paid much attention to side characters, the drama in this chapter and the next might take you by surprise, so if you feel confused, I encourage you to read True Nature.

Anyways, sorry for the long winded ramblings. I hope you all enjoy this and comment for comments are the only thing keeping alive my drive to find time for writing. They mean so much to me, so thank you.

The next story updated will be Beautiful Gifts, Small Packages (since the comments indicate people are starting to get into the story more). Then I'll update The Only Exception before I come back to this story. And no, I haven't forgotten about True Nature's ending. I actually have several parts of the chapter for that story written but can't make them come together right now. Don't worry, I'll figure it out, hopefully soonish. Fingers crossed!

Lastly, if you're dying for something to read with a power exchange vibe and you haven't read my story, The Slave and His Master, maybe give it read? Hopefully you'll enjoy it and (bonus!) it's a completed story. It's my first story on here and therefore, not quite as good in my opinion but it's still a sweet read and has a special place in my heart. As always, like all my stories on here will always be forever, it's a bdsm m/m love story.

Please leave any questions about any stories in the comments and, if they aren't addressed directly in the chapter, I will answer them in my next authors note. Again, I can't wait to read your lovely comments. Oh and I really love the long ones too so never think you're saying too much <3

Much love, Xx

Ps: let's just pretend editing mistakes don't exist please

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Maxwell's Pov:

I lost track of the days after the first time I made love to Willow. Once we'd gotten started, it became near impossible for either of us to stop. The next few days were a blur of lovemaking but I could tell that the sex was helping. The little omega was finally cooling off and as happy I as I was that I was helping, I also knew that once he was in his right mind, there would be no hiding that we'd fucked.

His once small tight hole now had a slight gape that bloomed open easily the moment my cock touched it. He was all stretched out and beautiful, his body baring the marks of being mine, save for my mating bite. I loved how he looked from my doing but I was worried Willow wouldn't like any of it.

I knew it would be any time now, that the omega would come to. I'd woken a few hours before to find his temperature had finally returned to normal. He had been asleep for a while, curled into my side as he had been his whole heat. When I realized that my mate would come to his senses soon, I quietly held him tight, trying to memorize every moment of being this close to him, knowing there was a good chance he wouldn't want me when he woke.

After another hour, Willow finally stirred from his place in my arms. He stretched slowly, like a kitten lazily waking up from an enjoyable nap, and I could feel his eyelashes brushing against the bare skin on my chest. I held my breath, aware that he was fully awake when he tensed in my arms. He struggled for a moment and I let go of him immediately, allowing him to pull away from me. I sat up slowly, as if trying to show him that I wasn't a threat, pulled on a shirt and scooted away a bit so that he could have some space.

"Hi," I breathed, feeling ridiculous that I couldn't come up with anything else to say and nervous about my mates reaction. Would he reject me?

Willow's eyes met mine and I cringed. He looked scared shitless.

"I'm naked," his voice shook but otherwise he stayed perfectly still.

"I can get you something to wear," I offered, needing to do anything I could to put my poor little omega at ease.

"N-no.. I'm sticky.. it's.. I'm.. gonna shower," he announced before slipping out of bed.

He blushed when he realized I would see his body when he walked away and nervously looked at the blanket that lay on the floor but he didn't pick it up. He froze, his gaze locked on me, and quickly covered his little cock with his hands with a nervous squeak. His eyes began to water and his lower lip trembled, his breath coming out in quick little gasps. Seeing him look so helpless broke my heart. I got out of bed and cringed again when he timidly took a step back but I was determined to help anyways. I bent down, picked up the blanket and held it out to him without getting any closer and dropped my gaze to the ground.

"I won't hurt you love," I nearly whispered, when he didn't take the blanket. Willow took a few more breaths and then cautiously reached forward with one hand to snatch the blanket. He quickly wrapped it around himself, blushing the entire time.

"I-" he bit his lip and then turned, fleeing our--I mean my--bedroom as fast as he possibly could.

A few minutes later I heard the shower water turn on. I mechanically walked to my door, shut it and locked it. Then I walked back to my bed and sat quietly for several minutes processing what had just happened as I slowly began to fall apart. Willow was scared of me. Willow was embarrassed to be seen by me. Willow wanted to wash my scent off his body. Willow didn't trust me... I was no longer safe... or.. Daddy.

My eyes filled with tears. All my worry, all my restraint, all my prayers to the moon goddess, for everything to be okay were for nothing. I'd ruined everything by giving in. My mate was suffering and I couldn't even help him because he didn't want me. I sniffled quietly as the feeling of depression settled over my wolf and I.

My precious mate might hate me forever now. I'd wanted so badly to make everything up to him but now I was scared I wouldn't even get the chance. I'd fucked up, yet again. I was the worst mate in existence. Who knew that one little omega had the power to bring me to my knees before stomping on my heart? I knew I should be strong right now. My mate was not doing well and I needed to do everything I could to soothe him. I also knew I sort of deserved this. I mean, I had broken Willow's heart first, years ago, but I still had feelings too! I couldn't keep it together all of the time! But... I could keep my pain to myself. I made sure to stay quiet so that Willow would not hear and, for the first time in my adult life, I cried.

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Willow's Pov:

I was having the best dream. Maxwell was telling me that he loved me, over and over and he was kissing me everywhere. Every few minutes he would pause to tell me how beautiful he thought I was before pressing another kiss to my skin. I felt completely adored, worshiped even, and my wolf preened from all the attention. I stayed in that warm place for ages, feeding off of my mates desire for me. Max was so nice to me here. So warm and loving, a perfect vision of what I longed for all my life. I fought him on nothing, giving in to every delicious, tingly feeling that he bestowed upon me. It was magical and completely intoxicating and I never wanted to leave my warm cocoon where I was loved and my wolf was at peace... but then I woke up.

The first thing that I noticed was that some of the warmth I'd felt was still present, for I was in my mates strong, warm arms. I liked it. I stretched out against him, loving how his body heat felt against my skin. Then I noticed how achy and sore my body felt while remembering how Max had been angry with me. He yelled at me to go to my room and I had defied him because? I thought for a moment. Oh right, because of THAT omega. I tensed, suddenly realizing that I was completely naked and so was my mate. Then I noticed how my asshole ached. Chills broke out across my skin as bits and pieces of a memory crossed my mind. Running away. My heat. The woods. Black gloves. Power. Pleasure. Shame. Shame. SHAME. I struggled, trying to free myself from Maxwell's hold, surprised when he let me go easily. I sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed, feeling like a trapped animal.

What the fuck did he do to me?!

"Hi," Maxwell said quietly, causing me to flinch.

Hi? How about an explanation? The last thing I remembered was telling the alpha that he couldn't touch me. Ever! He'd willingly touched someone else, yes hugging is still touching! And I didn't forgive the omega for it, not when that omega had done much more with my mate, before I was even of age to be noticed by him! It wasn't fair! But here I was, naked in Maxwell's bed, feeling incredibly sore and used. Had he touched me against my will? I wanted to ask but my wolf wouldn't let me, hissing that I shouldn't upset Alpha right now when we were vulnerable.

"I'm naked," I finally said, not knowing what else to say.

"I can get you something to wear," he offered quietly.

I felt even more confused when my wolf hummed contentedly at the alpha's gentle display. He was unsure about what was happening too but he was much more easily soothed by our alpha than I was. I wished I could be that stupidly naive but I knew better. Alpha had punished me for attacking his other omega and running away. I didn't want to be near him, except for the huge part of me that did.

"N-no.. I'm sticky.. it's.. I'm.. gonna shower," I told him, half concerned that I didn't smell nice for him and half needing to put some distance between us. It was confusing and I hated feeling so at odds.

I got out of bed and began to walk but then stopped. I suddenly realized that my mate could see my whole body. I blushed, feeling embarrassed. I still didn't know why I was naked, or how Maxwell had punished me and it was humiliating that I couldn't remember. I didn't want to be looked at, even though he had seen me naked before. Right now I couldn't remember a damn thing and it made me feel extra vulnerable and so ashamed of myself. I looked around for something to cover my body and my eyes landed on a blanket but... it wasn't my blanket. I looked up at the alpha and froze. I knew he didn't like me touching his things... what should I do? I really didn't want to anger him right now, especially when I didn't know what he'd done to me.

I covered my shrunken cock with my hands, though it had mostly disappeared inside my body. I was even more humiliated that I couldn't hide more of my body as my eyes filled with tears and I began to panic. My brain felt scrambled and discombobulated. Part of me wanted so badly to be in Maxwell's arms again and the other part was terrified of him.. of how I felt he used me. Did he use me? Probably. I'd tried to hurt his other omega.

He got out of bed and I involuntarily took a step back, nervous that I'd made him angry by trying to cover up. Instead, he knelt down to grab the blanket and offered it to me without getting any closer.

"I won't hurt you, love," he told me, scenting the air with a calming smell.

Love? What did he mean by that? Max didn't love me and he'd never called me that before.

'Maybe he does. Maybe you have this all wrong. Make Alpha happy!' My wolf encouraged, fully on board with returning to our mates bed.

Instead, I snatched the blanket from his hands and quickly covered myself, relieved when he could no longer see my private parts. I felt like I should say something and I did try but I couldn't get any words out. I felt too stupid and confused to say anything snippy and I didn't want to look any weaker. Like an idiot, I fled from the room and ran to the bathroom, just like our first night together.

I definitely made myself look weaker.

Once I was safely inside the little room, I turned on the shower so that Max wouldn't come looking for me. Then I dropped the blanket and looked at myself in the large mirror above the sink. I flushed as I studied my pale skin. It was littered with bruises and bite marks, especially around my hips and inner thighs. There was also a particularly dark bite on my wrist and I could tell that it had bled. For some reason, seeing this didn't scare me. Instead I felt warm all over. I looked so unbelievably owned. Even my lips were swollen and I hoped that meant that there had been kissing, even if he had punished me.

Though I was still extremely unsettled about how I'd become naked, and in Maxwell's bed of all places, I felt pleased to see the marks. They were beautiful and they made me feel valued. I'd never seen an omega with bite marks all over their body from Maxwell. So... maybe that meant he'd enjoyed me? Right? Sure, I didn't know much, as I'd never been touched, but maybe that's why he marked me, so no one else would? There was something gratifying about that. At any rate, I finally had something the others didn't, even if I couldn't remember why. I just hoped I hadn't embarrassed myself into receiving the marks.. I mean, they could be from the punishment and not.. not because he was into me. I had never been promised love.

I felt my mood drop and my eyes stung with tears but I refused to cry. I wasn't such a baby as to cry about this. Max would never cry about this.

My wolf grumbled at me, telling me I was being silly and not thinking clearly. He wanted me to go back to Maxwell but I wasn't ready yet. I slowly traced my hands down my body and then turned, to get a good look at my backside. I held my breath and carefully placed my hands on top of the hand print bruises on my asscheeks. They were fresh.

Slick began to run down my legs in thick currents and I trembled, feeling horrified by the large puddle suddenly beneath me. How had I made such a mess so quickly? Slowly, timidly, I began to spread my asscheeks apart. My jaw dropped when I saw the state of my asshole and I twisted around as much as I could so that I could survey all the damage. It was swollen and puffy and.. open. It looked so loose and slutty with slick and cum seeping out of it. I felt my eyes fill with tears and this time I let them run down my cheeks. So. I wasn't a virgin anymore. I was no longer pure, no longer perfect, no longer untouched. I figured as much but here was proof. I'd been fucked and.. I couldn't even remember it.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!

This wasn't fair! I felt so violated and worthless.. fuck! I told him he could never touch me!

I stormed out of the bathroom and marched to Maxwell's room with the blanket firmly wrapped around me. I tried to open the door and hissed angrily when I realized it was locked.

"Open this fucking door right now you no good piece of shit!" I screamed, pounding the wood so hard that my knuckles bruised but I didn't give a damn!

Seconds later, the door swung open, revealing Maxwell's red, swollen face. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he looked completely defeated. He met my eyes for a moment and then... he bared his neck??? What the hell?

I folded my arms across my chest, "So, did your boyfriend break up with you cuz I threw a vase at him or do you actually feel bad for violating me when I didn't obey you?" I hissed, holding my body tight in case my words made him attack me physically.

Only, he wasn't exactly fighting back or showing his dominance in any way. Maybe.. could I be wrong?

Unbelievably, more tears filled the alpha's eyes. What the fuck? Maxwell didn't cry. He was a fucking King for crying out loud! He was acting pathetic. I was the one who was violated. I should be the one crying... and I sort of wanted to. Only, I felt more scared than anything and that made me angry.

"I would never hurt you," Maxwell finally said once he got some control over his tears. "I swear Willow, I can't even imagine harming you! And I.. I don't have a boyfriend. I would never even want that. Why would I? I have you. I only care about you." Maxwell hung his head submissively as he spoke and then he dropped to his knees. "I know you feel lost right now and I'm so sorry about that-"

"What the fuck did happen then?" I screeched, hating how helpless and small I felt. Not to mention naive. Why couldn't I have understood what sex was sooner so I had more time to come to terms with this??

"Y-You went into heat," he explained. "You.. ran away and shifted and it started your heat early. I-I tried so hard to take care of you-"

"Sure you did!" I snarled. "Look what you fucking did to me! You ruined my asshole!" I dropped the blanket then and turned, spreading my asscheeks so that he could see the damage.

Maxwell WHIMPERED. What the actual fuck???

I turned back around and was shocked to see that the alpha had a lusty look in his eye, even as he continued to cry, and he pressed his palms against his crotch.

Was he seriously hard right now from seeing my ruined hole?? That was.. sick..? But.. in a hot way? Ugh. I don't even know.

"It'll go back to normal," he assured gently. "We... um.. well, we had a lot of sex but I won't touch you like that anymore, I promise. Everything will be normal soon. Don't worry ba-Willow."

I blushed, feeling ashamed and exposed all over again. So. I didn't just have sex once. I had lots of sex... sex that I couldn't remember. I still felt like a virgin but I wasn't. My own body was proof of that. None of this was fair.

"I told you not to touch me!" I hissed, not knowing what else to say.

"Willow... you begged me to fuck you. I swear it, on my honor as the King of Shadow Pack, I did not force you! I tried so hard to keep my hands off of you but that hurt your feelings. Still, I managed to keep my cock out of you but then... you.. I think you tried to fuck yourself on my cock sweetheart, while I was asleep."

I paled at the words, hating how whorish that sounded to me and I felt my eyes tear up once more. God I was acting like a fucking child about this!

"No baby, no, don't look at me like that. You didn't do anything wrong. Listen, I kept turning you down and you were beside yourself with need. I'm sure that's why you did it. And I..I couldn't take making your suffer anymore so I caved. I've been terrified your whole heat that I fucked up and.. well, I guess I did. I'm so sorry Willow, more than I can even express. I'm sorry for everything. I only wanted to help. I promise."