If You Don't Tell Ch. 02

His eyes lit up. "Why? Did you like them?"

"Yes, I did and they were very pretty." He began to blush. "Just to make sure, did you leave anything else? Some of the people in this office might've taken something off my desk."

"Nope, nothing else." He was beaming and I knew he was lying. "What did the card say Chris?"

"Umm, the card? I don't remember. The people downstairs wrote it for me."

I was about to stand up and slap the shit out of him for lying, but instead I stayed calmly seated in my chair. "Chris, why are you lying to me?"

He started frowning. "I'm sorry Simone. You just liked me a whole lot more when you thought it was me. I won't lie to you no more. I didn't send you the flowers."

"Thank you for telling the truth Chris." As he walked away, I thought of stabbing him in the back with a mechanical pencil, but I was too engulfed in curiosity to warrant prison time. I looked over at the flowers at the end of my desk and smiled.

*************

4:00 PM

By the end of the day, I still had no idea who had sent me the flowers and it was killing me. As soon as I clocked out, I stayed by the door holding the flowers to my chest, and watched every man in my office walk by without even so much as a hello.

"It can't be anyone I work with or else someone would've spoken." As I began walking to my car, only one other name came to mind. "It can't be him." I thought. "Since we've been married, Mike hadn't even come close to being romantic. Maybe he's trying to tell me he's sorry!" The more I thought of that idea, the more it began to make sense. "He wants to apologize!" The thought of him coming home was exciting, but thinking of his impending apology was damn near orgasmic.

I ran all the way to the parking garage. As soon as I saw my car, I pulled out my cell phone and called her as I was unlocking my door. I started the car and sped around the corners, narrowly avoiding several cars on the way down. I was already out of the parking lot and on turning down my first side street by the time she picked up. "Auntie, I know I'm calling late, but I'm planning something for Mike tonight. Is it okay if MJ stays the night? He already has some extra clothes, pampers, and formula in his bag."

"Well it's about time y'all did something together. St. Valentine's Day is a good time to kiss and make-up. I'll watch MJ, but don't be bringing no more great nieces and nephews over here in nine months."

I laughed. "I promise. Thank you."

"You have a good evening baby."

I rushed home and as soon as I arrived, I ran upstairs to begin cleaning. I placed the flowers in a vase filled with lukewarm water and since the house didn't look too bad I didn't have to do too much. With all the rushing I had done this morning I still needed to pick up a few things.

As soon as I finished straightening up, I threw off the clothes I wore to work and saw that my shirt pits were damp. "Damn, forgot to wash up." I walked naked to the bathroom and threw the clothes in the hamper then ran the shower, letting it warm up before I got in.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed the phone, making sure that I wouldn't miss his call before I returned to the bathroom and began cleansing myself with the perfumed body scrub that Mike liked best, Vanilla and Black Cherry.

I stepped out the shower with butterflies in my stomach, feeling like I was about to lose my virginity. I dried myself off and took what was left of the body spray I'd used this morning and finished it off, making sure to cover as much body as I could before it ran out.

I then ran to my bedroom and grabbed my silk kimono before walking to the kitchen and grabbing as many candles as I could find and began placing them around the house. I was almost finished when I heard a car pull up in the driveway. Too nervous to look, I hurried and lit the candles I had left and laid with my legs open on the couch.

I was surprised when a few moments went by and no one came in. I was about to look outside when I heard a soft knock at the back door. "He's probably carrying something or forgot his key." I thought. I walked to the back door and before I opened it, I held my kimono back far enough so that he could see that I completely shaved myself the night before.

I took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Welcome home."

Laela

5:30 AM

It wasn't tradition, but I awoke early so that I could make Quinton breakfast for Valentine's Day.

The sun hadn't yet come up and though I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, I'd lived in the apartment long enough to know my way around and walked to the kitchen without incident.

I cut on the light, opened the fridge and took out all the ingredients I'd need. I grabbed the wheat bread, a few eggs, and four strips of bacon from the refrigerator door. I wasn't a great chef, but I knew how to take care of the basics. Five minutes after I began, the food was almost ready and I felt a kiss on top of my right shoulder.

"You're up early." I turned and kissed him softly on the lips.

"I had to make sure it was you making breakfast. I know how hard you try to test your culinary skills and I wanted to make sure that ice cubes and hot dogs weren't on the menu."

"Ice cubes and hot dogs? Is that all you think I can make?"

"No, you make a pretty mean salad too." He smacked me on the ass and left the kitchen to sit on the couch to watch sports highlights.

"I can cook!" I screamed out to him, insulted by his insinuations.

"I believe you!" He shouted back.

His breakfast was ready only a few minutes after he sat down and I tested the eggs to make sure they weren't overly seasoned. "Perfect!" I whispered to myself. I fixed his plate, walked to the living room and sat on his lap as I fed him what I'd made.

When I finished feeding him, he kissed me on the cheek. "Thanks for breakfast, but I really gotta get to work. I'd love to shower with you, but I know where that would end up."

"I'm going back to sleep anyway." I said. "It's too early to be up and I feel bad for people who actually have to be at work at this hour."

"We all can't be nurses. But really Lae, I need to get up." I stood up and watched him walk to the bathroom before I walked back to the comfort of my bedroom, collapsed onto my bed and went right back to sleep.

11:00 AM

"Hello, Happy Valentine's Day!"

My eyes were still closed as a vaguely familiar voice filled my bedroom. I had no idea who was calling this early in the morning, but the last thing I wanted to hear was a joyous introduction. In the effort of trying to push the voice mail button on the base of my phone, I'd accidentally pushed speakerphone; I had to kill the phone's designer. "Huh?" I mumbled into the phone, still unaware of who the hell I was talking to.

"I'm so sorry! Are you still sleeping? I thought you guys were only an hour behind us and its noon here. I am so sorry; you must've worked last night!"

"Janette?!?" I rolled over onto my side and strained to look at the clock above the TV in our room. With the curtains tightly closed, it was impossible to see.

"Hello Laela, how are things in the Lone Star?"

"Girl, do you know what time it is? Why are you calling so early?" I rubbed my eyes and strained at the clock once more so that I could get a better view without having to actually leave the bed.

"Early? Laela do you know it's just after noon here. That means that it's a little past 11 o'clock there. Early was over two hours ago for you."

I cut on the TV and turned to a random news station to find out she was right. "Hey girl," I yawned "what's been going on in C-town?"

"Nothing much. I just hadn't heard from you since you've been home. I guess you forgot about us Cleveland folk as soon as you get back to the warm weather."

"It's not that, I've just been busy playing catch up with everybody. You know how it is. I haven't forgotten about you guys, I just haven't found the right time to just chill so we could have a conversation."

"Uh-huh. Well anyway. I guess you worked last night and I didn't want to wake you. I just wanted to you know, say Happy V-day."

"Janette, I didn't work last night. I'm just being lazy today, taking a little time out for myself, now that I don't have anything planned. How's my brother doing?"

"You know him. He's doing well, a lot better since we--consummated."

"Oh my God you did it!"

"Yeah we did. After we talked about Nicole and our relationship, I felt a lot better about us. He was actually excited when he heard that I'd just gotten out of a lesbian relationship. That's all he talks about now. He says he never figured me for that kind of girl. He's asked me a lot of questions about Nicole, what we did, what drove me to be with another woman, things like that."

I knew where this was going. "Did he ask about us? What did you tell him?"

"That's what I called to talk to you about. Yes, he asked. Before you get all nervous I just want you to know that I didn't tell him anything. But since I was playing the dumb role I had to ask him why he'd asked me something like that and he told me the whole story about you, Quinton and um, your girlfriend."

"The next time I see him, he's dead." Tank and I always kept each other's secrets and it upset me to hear that he'd told one of the biggest secrets I'd ever had.

"It's not his fault Laela, it's mine. When he asked if anything had gone down in the hotel room between us, I had to ask him why he asked me that. At first he didn't want to tell me, but he gave in after we made love." Her voice suddenly grew softer, more seductive. "But he still has a lot to learn to catch up with his big sister."

"Janette I--"

"Laela, don't say anything. It was a moment in time that really wonderful for me. I just hope that for that instant, I made you feel a thousandth of the way you made me feel." She paused and just as I was about to speak up, she stopped me. "I'm not talking entirely about the sex, but afterwards was just as powerful. I still don't want you to say anything; I just feel better knowing that you know. Happy Valentine's Day, Laela Booker."

I respected her wishes and didn't say anything else about that day. "Happy Valentine's Day, Janette Jordan." I heard the click on her end and the dial tone before I pushed the speaker button for the second time.

I thought back and what had happened between Janette and I. It had been less than two weeks ago, but in truth it seemed like an eternity. I began reminiscing over the enigma that was her body. When I saw her that night she was a picture of strength, yet when I touched her she was still soft, still feminine. And her tongue--

I woke from my daydream and shook all thoughts of my brother's girlfriend from my head, but I couldn't stop goose bumps from appearing on my skin.

Having slept through almost all of the morning, I knew it was time for me to get out of the house and buy what I needed to for Valentine's Day. Usually I bought a card a couple of weeks in advance, but spending all of my free time with Niya had caused me to procrastinate, something I didn't usually do. I mentally chastised myself for my newfound laziness and slowly guided myself towards our bedroom bathroom.

I showered briefly before throwing on some jeans shorts, one of Quinton's blue t-shirts, and my open toed leather sandals. While putting on my sandals I noticed that my toes needed another coat of polish. "You're seriously slacking." I admitted to myself, but I could take care of that later. I had a lot to buy and only a little time to buy it if I planned on having everything ready by the time Quinton came home. With my hair getting braided yesterday, I didn't have to do anything with it but tie it up into a pony tail before I grabbed my purse and jogged out of the house.

On the way to my car I noticed how good the late morning sun felt good against my skin. It hadn't gotten hot yet, but in Houston, it was inevitable that it would. Even though I knew in a few hours it would be almost too much to bear, I was glad it was so warm outside, a complete contrast to the incredibly cold weather my family endured in Cleveland.

I drove to the card shop that I usually frequented for holidays, which was down the street from our apartment. As I entered, I waved to the elderly white lady behind the counter and headed straight for the fluorescent pink section marked 'Valentine's Day Cards'. It didn't take me long to find what I was looking for, a colorfully sentimental card to give Quinton. The front was decorated with roses, highlighted by glitter and in the inside was more of the same.

As I walked to the front counter to pay for the card, I called Niya to see what she was doing, but her voice mail picked up. I hung up before the recording ended and spoke to the elderly lady instead when I made it to the register.

"Hello, how are you doing?" I asked. I had no idea what her name was, but she was sweet and every time I bought a card we would small talk.

"I'm doing well, enjoying each day as it comes. Is this one for the hubby?"

"Yes it is." I smiled. After she rung the card up, I paid for it with cash and waved again as I left the little store.

I was halfway home when my cell rang with Niya's familiar ring tone. "I see you got my call."

"Yeah I did. But I kinda have my hands full and I'm taking care of some things, so what's up?"

She sounded exhausted, like she'd just run a marathon and it was too early for her to be exercising. There had to be some other reason why she sounded the way she had. "And what exactly are you taking care of?" As soon as I said it, I had no doubt that she knew what I was suggesting.

Her mood changed swiftly after I'd spoken. "What are you really asking Lae? Are you asking if I'm fucking someone else? Is that what you want to know?"

"That's not what I meant Niya." I didn't know why she was so easily upset, but I regretted that my brief moment of jealousy had contributed to it.

"Then what did you mean Lae? Help me understand what you meant!"

I was already pulling into my parking spot and the last thing I wanted to do today was to start an argument. As soon as I was parked, I took a deep breath and spoke as pleasantly as I could. "Niya, I'm sorry for what I suggested. I didn't mean for it to come across the way that it had, but it did. Can we start this conversation over?"

"I'm gonna be busy for a while. I'll call you back." And she hung up without saying goodbye or waiting for a response.

I closed my phone, turned the volume off and threw in onto the passenger's seat. Then I placed both hands on my steering wheel and banged my head on the horn four times, repeating a different curse word each time my head hit. As soon as I finished, I got out of the car and stared at my apartment through the darkened bedroom window before sitting back down in the car and driving off. The way my day seemed to be going, home was the last place I needed to be.

*************

"How could I be in love with two people and what do I do about it?" I continually asked myself.

I had been driving around the city for a little more than an hour trying to figure out how I wanted to solve my unanswerable questions, but it always came down to the most basic solution: I had to stop going back and forth between them and ultimately choose one.

Quinton was the type of man I always imagined myself marrying; intelligent, dedicated, he had a great sense of humor and the sex was fucking unbelievable. He was the first person to show me that the other places than the bed to have sex and that there were other positions than missionary, but through the years we grew comfortable and thus predictable. The bed became more commonplace and even though missionary wasn't part of the repertoire, the positions we used became repetitive. I still loved him though. He was my knight in shining armor.

As with every white knight, there was always a dark one waiting in the shadows. That knight was Niya. She provided the spark that Quinton and I seemed to be losing. She was spontaneous and exciting, daring and risqué. Sex with her was as powerful as it was with Quinton, yet she was also my best friend. I could share and had shared everything with her without fear of her judging me and she trusted that I would do the same. Through the years I became her rock and she became my guide. Whenever she needed to be grounded, I was there for her and whatever I lacked in experience, she provided for me; we complimented each other. I loved her even before I'd even met Quinton and our intimacy only strengthened that bond.

But in the end, I knew what I had to do. I had to make a choice and I chose Quinton.

More than anything in the world, I wanted to be Quinton's wife. Teniyah was my best friend, but she'd be hurt by what I had to say and I prayed that she would cherish our friendship enough to let it return to the way it was.

I was stopped at a red light and on my way back to the apartment when out of the corner of my eye I saw my cell phone light up. I reached over to answer it when my hand seemed to go numb and I withdrew it.

"I can do this." I took in a deep breath then exhaled before I reached over, flipped up the phone and spoke.

"Hello?"

"Lae, you'll never guess what just happened to me!" It was Simone and she sounded manic. She didn't know that I knew, but after she had MJ, she was either really happy or obnoxiously depressed, like she'd been on Sunday.

I knew I'd never be able to guess, but I took a stab at it anyway. "Mike died and there was a million dollar policy in your name?"

"No, but that would be a very nice Valentine's Day gift. Guess again!" Yup, she was manic.

"Why should I guess when I'm not going to get it right? Just tell me already!" I was relieved that it was her and not Niya, but I didn't feel like speaking with her right now. She was having a good day, I was not, but I certainly didn't want to hear anymore about hers than I had to.

"I have a secret admirer! They just left yellow roses and cookies on my desk!"

I tried not to sound too uninterested, but I failed miserably. "Wow! That is nice. That's really nice for someone to do." I had too much on my mind to worry about whom sent her flowers. By days end I wasn't sure if I'd even have a friend. She was halfway into her next statement when my phone beeped and I saw that Niya was on the other end. My heart fell into my stomach, but I needed to let her know. "Hey Monie can I call you back, Niya is calling me on the other line."

"Yeah, okay. I'll just talk to you later then."

I clicked over just in time to catch her. "Hello? Hello?" I shouted into the phone.

"I didn't think you wanted to talk." She said. "I was just about to hang up until I heard you."

"Niya, we need to talk." It was then that I noticed a lot of people talking in the background. "Where are you?"

"I'm at work. I'm getting in a couple of extra hours. I know we need to talk, but I can't talk here. Can I meet you at your place at about four?"

"Um yeah, four is okay. Quinton won't be home til about 5:30."

"I'll see you then, love ya."

"Love you, too." She hung up and I had less than three hours to get myself ready.

*************

4:10 PM

I looked outside my bedroom window every minute after four looking for Niya's Cavalier. When she finally pulled into a parking spot it was already ten after which only gave us an hour to talk. There were a lot of things that needed to be said and I wasn't sure if an hour was long enough to recover from it all.

The butterflies in my stomach were so rampant I was fooled into sitting on the toilet several times, thinking I was going to shit in my pants. I paced around the apartment trying not to bite my fingernails when her familiar knock ran across my door.

I rubbed my sweaty palms together to lose so of the moisture, checked the thermometer in the kitchen to make sure the AC was on and answered the door.