All Comments on 'I'm the One In Charge'

Hell yes, please write more. I want to see this girl pregnant and owned.

I like the concept except... its very awkward. You really need to proofread / have an editor. Additionally, what professional office has ANYONE wearing shorts?? In what way did she dress up as a tease or sexy as you indicated in the beginning? It could have been described so much better. The domination was awkward as well. The whole thing was very unnatural. Ive known women who put on a persona of being a bitch and being so nice to others our of public...and are naturally submissive inside... they were not like this.

How would a sub happily take off all of her clothes... and deep throat a guy and she was drippinf for.... and then threaton to cry rape?? Completely owned and submissive... it doesnt flow or make any sense sorry

Written by someone who clearly needs it....

@master_doctor not sure if you'll see this but thanks for the detailed feedback! Will heed! She's doing exactly what I would do in my fantasy but that doesn't mean it makes sense to others. You are very right about needing to reread and edit, thanks for pointing all of that out!

Great work! Don't worry about the mistakes. It will get better