by HLD
Read through the story by the last chapter had tears streaming down my face . i hope you consider doing it for a living . absolutely bloody great reading keep it up.
I wanted to hear how the story turned out, how they as two people evolved from where they were to where they were going ... separate or together.
Well written. Totally romantic. Good plot (even if the whore with a heart of gold is a bit of a cliche).
But what really did it was how you brought their emotions to life in your story.
I know the ambiguous ending is fun but is it a cop-out, does it save you (and us readers)from having to think the rest of the story through?
Please think about continuing the story... I can't remember when I wanted more of a story on Literotica like I wanted to hear more about these two.
Thank you.
The authour built up the characters so well, gradually drawing me into their story.
Well done.
The best story I've read on Literotica in a LONG time. Wonderful character development and plot.
Chapter Two????
Very good story but we need more. It seems pretty obvious that there is plenty of room for this story to grow. I didn't really think the title went with the storyline however. Unless you have more story to tell that you haven't let on. Regardless its a great story and I hope to see more.
And who says call girls don't have big hearts.
Well done HLD. Like it very very much.
Thanks for all your comments and I'm glad you've enjoyed the story.
Part two is in the works and there may even be a part three. I hope you'll check back and see how Marissa and Alan's journey turns out.
Thank you for giving us such a well written story that touches you in such a heartwarming way. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Rarely does one find a story that, although the ending could be characterized as sufficient, actually DEMANDS a continuation.
This is a well written and well plotted story with excellent character development. The character development is so good, in fact, that simply SUPPOSING or IMAGINING a "..lived happily ever after" ending is not enough. Some folks say that good-hearted whores make the best wives when they find a good man. Do they? A continuation of this story could, perhaps, build on that theme. This is, after all, a "romance" story and not of the "loving wives" genre. Does the empathetic prostitute in the story open her "whore's heart" to the lonely widower? Can they fashion a life together? What kinds of emotional hurdles must they overcome? Gosh...there is room for lots of additional storytelling here.
Please continue...what you have written, coupled with an appropriate conclusion, could very well be classified as a masterpiece on Lit.com.
Please do not leave us hanging.
Thanks for the story, and hopefully a wonderful ending.
Cheers!
I just read you comment that there will be a continuation. THANKS VERY MUCH!!!!!
Cheers!
Very moving. Alan's grief at the loss of his wife was portrayed perfectly, in small drips and drops, so that we could feel the same curiosity and desire to know as Melissa experienced. I also appreciated how you showed Melissa fighting to keep her feelings in check as well as trying to maintain a professional distance from her customer.
Looking forward to Part Two.
that is, writing about a hooker who thinks, acts, and feels a bit above the "average person"
our understanding for "Marissa" --- any one like her --- takes place the minute she started telling us about her seeing "humanity" in Alan, her client; that is, as she comes to understand another person who is going through a sad time in his life, we, too, come to understand someone like Marissa for her humanity:
that even a hooker can still, once in while, act, feel, cry, love, and feel sadness like someone who is not a hooker, that is, someone who does not sleep with people to make a living.
and that can happen only when sex becomes secondary to emotional explorations ----- whether mutual or mostly one way, like this, in which Alan's the only one we know a little about; yet we feel like we know Marissa a lot more, since she's the narrator and she's been taking us through her thinking, even if she's not revealed why she's gone into her line of business and/or whether or not she has plans to "get out" and start a family, have children, watch them grow, etc.
again, exceptionally well told story ("love story," that is)
This is a beautiful story. The characters are well written and very believable. Anyone who has lost someone from their life can appreciate the urge to fulfill that person's dreams. The detail about Vegas is great. Thank you and I'm looking forward to the continuation.
This is a well written story. The characters have been developed with believable personality. The storyline is interesting and unfolds like a living experience.
I look forward to subsequent chapters detailing the days of this adventure.
Very impressive in all regards plus you knew when to quit.
Your respect drove us to relate to your people - to want what could occur - even now after the close - we think it will. Nice work author.
You are appreciated - With Very High Regard
Great balance between sex and romance. I got hooked immediately to the story; and I am anticipating the continuation. Compliments!
One of the greatest pieces on this site. Up there with "Till Dawn" and "Berlin, 1945". A true masterpiece. If only more authors had your talent, especially on this site where below mediocre stories are the norm. Well done!
I agree with all the high compliments. This one is equal to the very best on Literotica. I see potential for a sequel, but only if you can craft the same feelings for the characters and the "love above lust" for each other.
Excellent job. At first the storyline appeared limited, but then opened up.
A good job in detailing the sex scenes without using cliches.
Good development of the Marissa character as the story unfolds.
I cried so much! It was just a beautiful story and so well told. Thank you for sharing it.
Amazing story!!! I loved it! It had very good character development and story telling was well done. The sexual build up before each scene was hot! Will there be a continuation....
I wasn't sure I was going to like this when it first started, but by the end I was completely hooked. It ended a little abruptly, but that's probably for the best because their lives would be so complicated based on how they met. All in all, one of the best I've read and well deserving of all the compliments you received. I'm looking forward to checking out your other work.
S-Des
that was soooo cute/adorable/good... yada yada yada!!!
Wow.... this story inspired me to become a "call girl" hopefully I'll get lucky! (hahaha just kidding).
Great job! keep writing!
such a wonderful written and told story should have a much higher rating...just lovely and for those that haven't read this one....take a chance...read it. it is wonderful. respectfully fan in Texas naynay
The opening is a little bit plain. But the story evolved to be amazing as it went. Not much background on the Marissa character, but that's ok. Thanks for writing such a sweet story and sharing it.
Great story, but other than the twist of Marissa being a copy of the dude's wife, it reminds me an awful lot of "Pretty Woman".
This story was so beautiful. A call girl made a man happy because she portrayed his wife, if only in physical features. However, hey built something between them. I loved the honesty between them, throughout the entire story! Perfect ending!!
Seriously, it was such a beautiful story. Kind of a cliffhanger at the end there, but I'm sure everything worked out ok...right?
This was a story that you couldn't quit reading. It has sex and but more important it has love that will attract both men and women. Thank you
The sex I can take. The passion and lust I expect. It was all a huge turn on...Then you had to go and make me like them. Hell I even sympathize with Marrisa, whore that she is (was?). But pathos?? On a porn site? Grief, bitterness, sadness, and gut renching loneliness? As Sinefled used to say..."What's with thaaaat...?" What indeed...It's nice to be reminded about what being a human being really is all about...Nice...
Ditto re: others comments. However, I need to praise your writing. Slick, cool and well done. Your took care to say it right. Thank you. Keep up the good work and your standards.
I couln't wait to read the next page. Like Pretty Woman only better! It flowed so easily, captivating yet supremely sensuous. I enjoyed it immensely and look forward to the sequel??? and anything else submitted by HLD.
Your writing is incredible. The sex is part of the story, rather than the focus of it. And that's a good thing. I'm going to look for your other work, and I would encourage you to consider writing professionally, if you're not doing so already. The resemblance to 'Pretty Woman' is only superficial. There's a pathos in your presentation that is stronger than anything Hollywood can produce.
An enchanting tale that warms the heart even if it's a retelling of the "hooker with a heart of gold". The characters come to life and the author graciously shows us their strengths, their weaknesses, their highs and their lows in a pleasant flow of superbly written prose.
The scenes flow together seamlessly and it is a credit to the author's talent. Not many can do so well. The plot, though somewhat predictable, is lovingly handled and the central conflict is internal to the two protagonists. Its resolution is smooth and unforced with each character growing towards their new life together in a way that feels natural.
Kudos also for your descriptive abilities of the luxury hotel in Vegas. Having stayed there myself, it was quite pleasant to relive some good memories that your writing brought back.
An excellent effort, HLD, and worthy of praise. This 100's for you, for a story well-written and well done. Excellent fiction this is.
What a great story -- i felt l;ike i was there, in the emotions. And the sex was hot too! :)
Seriouslyt I really like the characters and they seem like real people to me. I am looking forward to reading the rest of the story.
What a great though sad story. He will never forget his wife and child but he will make it through with Marissa's help. Hopefully we can get a update.
it seems like you took my worst nightmare and turned it into a dream come tru. there are times i avoid relationships caus i feel like Alan. i am happy that some one writes about tru lov and not lust.
This is a fabulous story and I enjoyed every sentence - except for a few and an example follows. The only heartburn I have about it has to do with whether Alan will feel badly about all the other men she fucked. This is a generational thing, I think, since I'm an old man, but it also has to do with my own experiences.
The thing I didn't like is shown in the following example:
"Alan, I like you, too. You're unlike any man I've known for a long, long time."
I just don't believe you should EVER have lovers or anyone who is close compare people to make a point that is intended to infer something superlative in a relationship. She should have said:
"Alan, I like you, too. You're unlike anyone I've ever known."
Happy to read your story. Because this is a real story, with just the right amount of thoughts empathy and love... Cheers Yoron.
I love it, I don't know what is ahead but I have a feeling this is going to be my all time favorite.
by the story and the raw feelings that go between the characters. I've read all the series in this one and i enjoy your works and you write beautifully.
I read this series a long time ago and somehow stumbled back to it. Wow. Reads even better the second time around. One of the most romantic stories I've ever read.
I loved this story and i have read it many times. I would however love to read the story from Alan's perspective. I'd love to read about the emotions he has to be going through. keep up the great job! your a very talented writer
In the good sense! Interestingly we and Alan know practically nothing about Marianna, but truly we know all that she knows.
I read this before I started commenting. Thank you very much HLD
...but then the pace picked up. Now I'm hooked. I want to learn what happens next. Will their relationship continue? A partnership in a restaurant? Just a sexual relationship? -- maybe romance only? Marriage? I can't wait to find out. Thanks for a well-written story.
I give it fifty percent because it was ok. I understood at the end what the "Brianne look alike" meant, but at the same time I thought it was something that was a little bit rhetorical, you know, of course he couldn't marry her, but I also thought she was sort of audacious for saying that she wouldn't marry him because it wasn't like she asked him to. In a way, it was like he wanted closure of his past life with Brianne. That's the way I understood it. The whole reason was probably meant to relive his wife time with him, which mean that he wasn't ready to let go, but by the end, he ended up getting closure from the past. It was an alright entry.
Well thought out. Very close to my own relationship with exwife friend after close of relationship. Would be look forward to follow-up story as to what happens next. Seems incomplete, but great story and writing so far.
This story was very well thought out, well crafted, and very evocative. Your words painted vivid pictures in my mind, and elicited emotions from me that most stories cannot do.
The sudden ending left me hanging a little, however I know that there are further chapters. I look forward to reading more from you. Well done !
someone should make a movie out of this story ...
Absolutely brilliant! Beautiful, tender and makes one wonder if it is fiction.
Thank you.
... and I mean StoryTelling, not fuck-tales.
The erotic aspects are wonderful - Because they fit the story, the characters.
Thanks for sharing your talent!
M
This is an endearing, emotional, sensual tale. It really tapped into my emotional side in the best way. Congratulations on a very well written story. Excellent story line so far. Can't wait to read the next chapters! Thank you for sharing!
this is definitely one of the best stories i have ever read on literotica (and that's saying something). i know you get a lot of people praising your work and countless people saying what i'm about to say but, thank you for writing and posting this. it really is amazing.
This story has all the hallmarks of a master story teller. The plot is directed by the characters, characters who are well rounded and deep.
The setting is only sketched but included enough detail to make Las Vegas real. Marissa's internal dialogue appears honest and reminded me of the movie "Pretty Woman."
The sex scenes are realistic and erotic rather than ponographic. Thus, I felt an unexpected emotional impact, much like Marissa, and an understanding of the love growing between this unlikely pair.
The writing style is excellect and the voice of the author is strong and clear. The plot twist in Chapter Four adds depth to Marissa's character and moved the story to Alan and the decisions he will have to make in the future. Other readers as well as me would like to see the rest of the story (i.e., cliche from Paul Harvey).
Thank you for a beatiful story with a character driven plot.
This is the third or fourth time I've read this story in its entirety. It is, in my opinion, the single best story of all those I've read on this site or any other. It is incredibly intelligently written and edited. While there are a few grammatical and/or spelling errors, they are very few and don't take the reader away from the story. The romance that grows between Alan and Marissa is woven through the story expertly. The erotic scenes are among the best ever written. I could go on, but I think I've made my point. Bravo to HLD!
You made these characters so real and I cried for them, broken-hearted and lonely. Love is so precious -- life is so fragile -- and this story is a truly moving reminder of that. You are gifted, and I am grateful to have read your work.
i'm sorry,but i tought a longer version of this very same story. it ended with both of them get married, open the restaurant, and having baby noelle... am i just imagining things or was it a different story?
Story isnt over yet anon. Good work dropping spoilers. Even if they were predictable.
This story was so romantic and sweet, which is understandable, seeing as this was put in the "Romance" category. With only 4 grammar/usage/spelling errors I had found, this was written really well. Your characters were well developed, and I really felt as if I understood the situation they are in. I truly enjoyed the love shared between the two protagonists. And Marissa's headstrong and intelligent(/multitalented) personality cracks me up. GREAT character. Alan's brokenness with his dead love was heartwarmingly sweet. You matched your characters well. Also, your story line was very distinctive; very realistic in the Literotica.com sense. In addition, your sex scenes were really good. You had a variety of different types of sex: rough sex, spontaneous sex, quickie, products of making love, sex with and without orgasm(s). However, I suggest adding more details. I don't really know how anybody looks, other than Marissa and her glory as a sexy call girl. I know Alan is good looking, but does he have abs? Does Marissa have brown hair? Etc. And your description of the surroundings could have been a bit more developed. What does the conference dining room look like? What you have written is amazing, but I feel as if a bit more details won't hurt. Also, I believe some oral sex would be exciting.
In conclusion, you did an amazing job.
17 :D's / 23 :D's
keep up the good work!
<3 LaLaLadidahGirl
this wonderous trilogy of yours several times. I can't get enough of this beautiful story. A true romance. As a male, in his mid 50's; this story to me is magnificent. I gravitate to the "loving wives" genre and prefer those endings with both spouses staying true, after he finds out his wife was a porn star, mens magazine model, crack whore, or hooker before they met, where they save each other. You accomplished all that and so much more with this glorius story. Your story makes "Pretty Woman" an also ran. Thank you for you.
As I state above, I have never made a comment about any of the stories on this site; I now find myself compelled to do so. There are no suprises here; however, it is one of the best written and most compelling stories I have ever read on the site.
I greatly look forward to its future chapters.
I hope you continue to write and provide such excellent reading.
My only issue is that I cannot rate it with six or seven stars.
This was an excellent piece of literature; it was one the best pieces of literature i've read
My dear friend, you write with such an awesome intensity that my heart quench.
Thanks for such a wonderful literature.
All the Best.
- JoKeR_JcK
This is by far the best romantic story I've ever read. I can't way to read the rest.
damnit, why does the story have to be so eloquent? i read this for the second time...tonight!
Reading this brought tears to my eyes more than once. You truly have a gift for writing. Please don't ever forget that!
I really loved the first part of this story but waited to read the whole series before commenting ! I love to read many different categories. I can't think of a story in this category that I have enjoyed as much. Wonderful and sweet and sexy!
Reminded me a lot of Pretty Woman haha
but this story had its own flavor
it was also pretty hot. Mmmm :) haha
You are an extremely gifted writer. This story is absolutely amazing. It has everything- the love growing between Marissa and Alan, the sadness Alan feels when he remembers his wife, the heat and the passion of the sex. It's so- honest. Even the grammar and spelling are correct (one of my pet peeves [= ). You should seriously consider becoming a - legitimate? (you know what I mean) author. You'd make more money than Marissa ;)
Aw, this story is so sweet. I felt so bad for him that both his wife and baby died during birth :*(
For some reason this had me tearing up, so emotional..this is the mark of a good writer, five stars
I feel so cheated. It seemed to stop so abruptly. This had to hurt to write in some way, but I don't understand why there isn't more. This hit hard on so many levels. Thank you.
I don't think Richard Gere and Julia Roberts could have done this any better, and it was so much more than that movie ever aspired to be. I really liked the window created in her inner monologue, and I cheered her surrendering her heart to him. So well written: an obvious "5" !!!
This is Not a sex story but a Love story that has sex in it. I rate it a 6
the movie would be a complete waste of my time. I'd rather READ this story & I'm both glad & proud to admit it. I knew that when I was on page 2; I haven't even read pt# 2 & 3, I don't have to.
Sincerely;
DKP
hookers tales are making a comeback. whatta shame the only subject some can author
I read a lot of stories on here, but you made me love these characters so much. Deep feelings, loss, love, lust, it's a roller coaster and I loved it !!! Marissa surprised me and Alan touched me. Thank you for sharing your story. xo
This is the second time I have read the chapters of this series, and the story is as enjoyable as the first time I read it.
George in Omaha
NOT MY FIRST TIME TO READ THIS STORY AND NOT THE LAST. SO WARM SO HEART FELT. SHE IS FALLING FOR HIM HARD AND THAT IS GOOD. 5 STARS PLUS
RON TEXAS
This is a must read. I love the story, it's not just a make me hard and want to have sex story. It is a real love story and very well written. I will have to read everything else HLD has written now. Hope there is a lot and that they are all as well done. Much thanks to the author. Well done!
This may be the best I have encountered here. Thank you for sharing your storytelling with us mere mortals.
REALLY A GOOD STORY. MARISSA IS FALLING IN LOVE.
RON TEXAS cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
This story was posted in 2006. It has continued to be frequently read and almost totally without exception justifiably praised to high heaven. There is only one other story on Literoica that I like as well as this one and that is Colleen by Texas Refugee. I think the two stories are equals.
He paid a hooker over $20K plus airfare food and extras then was over the moon saving $10K on equipment. Odd part to the story.
Patch