All Comments on 'In At The Death'

Colder.

Oh, nice touch with the mother's death!

Two stories in one day - both not very good.

Good hits.

Damn! That was perfect.

Great story, I had a good laugh.

I would have given this a 4 instead of a 3, but if ever a story was in the wrong category, it was this one. Non-Erotic would have been better.

Very good. The main benefit - they aren't married and have no kids. There really needs to be a national/international database that tracks cheaters. Imagine going to a dating site, and you open a person's profile and there is a HUGE flashing CHEATER on it. And when you click on it, it lists all known (and verified) times the person cheated on a committed relationship, and the end result.

What a way to serve thar dish of payback.

That’s a good one! Guilt forever. Fucking around while her mother was dying?!? Yeah, welcome to depression, bitch!

Oh, and also, I’m having you charged with sexual assault for passing along the STD.

ZK

Rough ending!

4

Clever! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I don’t understand why people think stories about unmarried people should be in this category. Didn’t think “wives” was too difficult a concept…

Today's your soiled panties day, it seems..... Quite good, although just a bit heartless.

I like your stories, succinct and to the point, but then I am British and love The Italian Job.

Love the twist at the end, right up my street.

Damn, that ending was brutal!

5* BtB, nice job.

Harsh. D

Harsh. D

Why this isn't a LW story? because if they were married it wouldn't be so simple to end their relationship!

5/5

Savage response. Any decent man will regret such behavior upon reflection in future.

Nice

Wow! 5 stars.

What a quick to the point story

Pretty good for a short story.

I liked it

That's the long way to say "Fuck You Bitch"

I know I'm being anal, but wrong category. (I'm not sure which one but there's no wife here.) I did like the twist at the end, but this one wasn't as "tight" at "Climate Change". 4*

love the way you write

Hilarious!

Five stars worth of harsh.

I liked that! Very good, fast, right to the heart of it story about a cheat with no love left for her.

How did the weather give her away? That happened in Climate Change.

Brutal. Love it.

Perfect little Tale! LOL Cheating Slut is so Burned! LOL I loved it. Good Writing, Good Story, Great Effort by writer! I love a happy ending. Thank You to the writer for a good job. #Buster

Clever MC tactics facilitate plot development well, and the stratagem (water cutoff) to facilitate the "discovery" climax takes the cake. Good writing. Not a single wasted word. (Sad about the mother with the cheating daughter not being there for her, but it emphasizes her self-centered attitude.) Well done. More please.

MLJ

🤣

The story has potential, but is mostly a fail. First of all, I expect writers to be able to understand the difference between a wife and a girlfriend. You apparently don't. A boyfriend/girlfriend relationship doesn't have the same chemistry because either party can just walk away. Without the financial and legal entanglement of a marriage, there simply isn't the same drama potential, so these kind of stories fall a little flat. You could get around that a bit by throwing in children, but it's still not the same. In the case of this story, since it's her house, you don't even have the drama potential from kicking her out. All you have is walking out the door, which he waited to do because you realized there needed to be some drama.

I find most of the 750 word stories way too short. They usually leave out a ton of detail. In this case, it is not that way at all.

Short and sweet, with a nice plot twist at the end.

Well Done and 5* from me.

Funny.

stupid

Brutal. 5*

Getting tired of the 759 word trope.

What a piss poor human being. Her mother dies and that’s the way he tells her. I don’t care what she did or was doing that was just a shitty thing to do.

To short but a fast ending. So what's the whole story.??????L

Ouch!

Damn!

[03.02.23]

Excellente!

Short, Sharp, Shock!

11/10!!!!!

Short and brutal. Well done

Terrible on every level.

Brutal! But so right. 5*

I like the short painful endings on your short stories

That's...... a Parthian Shot! 5/5

why would she worry about 'diseased cum' in her mouth (somebody failed basic knowledge of the world and STD's btw), if she already had it, and had passed it onto him? Very little of this makes sense, including the nonsensical title.

Would have been even better with more story and revenge, but pretty much said it all as is.

Hard to alibi out of this one! Second time today for jm99’s Sweeties’ where the Cheaters Almanac is useless!

5*

Addendum

There is too much of a compromise in the title. Still a 5*

Usually do not like super short stories but this one was a fun read, thanks.

Brutally good. 5*

You seem to have developed an obsession with other men's cum in women's panties... 🤷‍♂️

I thought the snow one was only average due to the inhuman treatment of the woman. This was worse.

Trouble with 750 words you can't develop a proper motivation for a really cruel burning and without that it just off as the man in both your 750s today, bullying the woman, making them come across as pond scum.

I think you got the short descriptions of the two stories you posted reversed. Both nice tales, short and to the point.

so basically, he's stuck with attorney bills, and she found out her mom died in a rather less than nice way. big deal. yawn.

How is this even a LW story? They're not married, or even engaged. Just some skank, doing what skanks do and some dude that pretty much had it coming to him for shacking up with her.

ow

Short and painful. That's how you deal with cheaters! 5*!

Terrifically told tale.

Better the second time reading, salivating for swift response to her avarice and betrayal.

RIP to mom; hubby regrets mom not teaching her daughter right from wrong, wife regrets ignoring mom’s advice. Whether married or not, right and wrong remain static.

Cop that cheater!!!!

4/5

This one i like!

Boo-yah! 5 stars.

Yep...

Fockin‘ perfect, love it.

Captcha

I like his Attitude and the way he gave her the News. Very Good

Awesome! 5 stars

That ending, your mother died at seven pm…. That was brutal. If I could post the emotional damage meme, I would.

LMAO what a finale, excellent!

Last line for the win.

LOL

Worth 5 stars until the last paragraph so only 4

Sorry that Mom passed away: she was a really nice Mother in Law but at least she didn't have to learn that her daughter was a slut.

Zero to a hundred in less than 5 seconds! Okey dokey.

I did enjoy though. Thanks

Well well. That was a doozie.

Typical "technique" story with the difficult human interest issues left out. I guess you write what you know, or can imagine. Thanks for the effort.

Opening sentence - "I live with my girlfriend, Marie - her house not mine."

So technically not a LW story, but maybe they previously stated their commitment to being exclusive to each other? Shame it was a 750 challenge. It would have been interesting to see some payback on "Pancho". MC seems to be the type of person who doesn't accept fools becoming familiar with his exclusive partner. Marie also could bear some additional boiling in her own oil. It would be interesting to be the 'fly on the wall' when Beth and Marie finally meet up to deal with their mom's death. Also her interactions with the guy that contributed the extra DNA in the extra DNA he deposited into her love vault.

nicly done

+1 for the last line.

"The weather gave her away"?? Where was weather mentioned in the story?

Short and complete ! BTB

Please open the comments for your other story “Waterwheel”. Thanks!!!

No, silly story.

Double BURN!! Love it!!

OK, I admit, "weather" part confused me as well. Otherwise, nice, concise, BTB. I think it would be improved if you worked in him ending up with Beth :P But a solid 4 stars (not quite enough of burnage for 5, given she gave him STD, sorry).

Short and to the point

I really would have liked for this one to have been fleshed out more.

To the anonymous below. WHY? That was absolutely perfect, one of the best if not the best. Thank you so much jmm999 you really are a great writer and getting better. Mel B known as Hornydevil47

BOOM!

I like it. However, unless we’re to believe this is the time of landlines, Beth would have called Marie directly, not him.

Love the panties in mouth especially after STD

To the anony bonehead re: "the time of landlines"... not if she had her phone off so she couldn't be discovered or interrupted.

Bam! Emeril would have a hard time topping this one. 5 stars.

🎯

well damn