All Comments on 'In Submission to... Ch. 06'

I need more of Seans background and Kylani's. I can see the how being a issue. Can't wait to read more.

this story is a bit similar to another author on this site- but other than that....its just blah....kylani's character is so weak and this story is so.... unrealistic.

If you're feeling discouraged about any comments on your story, my idea is that you're reaping the non-benefits of mis-categorizing the story. I previously made a similar comment to another author about the importance of choosing the right category. As in life, there are often many layers to a story and the characters involved, and when telling the story, it's imperative that the author chooses the most dominant aspect of the story to fit it into the appropriate Literotica category. If it becomes to difficult to choose, due to a number of varying themes, it may be necessary to preface each chapter with a blurb as to what the reader should expect.

Obviously, with a title including the word "submission," the reader should expect some elements of dominance vs. submission. However, you put the story in the "interracial love" category... In this case, I believe the fact that the interaction is occurring between a black woman and a white man is secondary to the type of interaction that is occurring--a Dom/sub relationship that would be better placed in the BDSM category. Again, the title should make it obvious what the readers should expect, but I've learned that people are not so good at picking up the subtle (or not so subtle) implications, and must be spoon-fed the appropriate information.

That being said, if the reader disregards the Dom/Sub aspect of the story, it is an interracial story, but its also a BW/WM interracial story. If you have read even a few interracial stories on this site, you'll have realized that the BW/WM themed stories have a very specific following. You may also be experiencing the back-lash of presenting a story that does not go along with the commonly expected idea of how these stories should be. Just some things to think about... Good luck and happy writing!

I am loving this story, if Kylani would only understand that this relationship could be as easy or as hard as she makes it. Keep up the Good Work!

I think its great you are still writing, but I still have concerns about the story that you are submitting.

Please could you move thiw story to the non consent/reluctance category or the BDSM one?

Thanks and take care.

Caramelcream really gives you some good advice as far as the focus of the story and placing it where it can be truly appreciated. I really like the story and have enjoyed it for the most part. We need to be more in tune with your male lead (how and why). Or, maybe give us more to hold on to with her. You have stepped out into interestingly complicated territory. A lot of wonderful things can happen here. Don't stop, just don't get lost. Solidify your characters, give completely into the characters and let them tell their story.

Lit should have sub categories. If they did this won't be problem.

I agree this story is almost EXACTLY like a story written by *Eve* called Mine.

That story is a good one.

ummmmm that was a good story but i was hoping for like a great ending and to be llong

Please finish this story.

Please Finish the story it has been a year pleaseeeeeeee!

im kinda confused he likes her fiesty but he is punishing her for being what he likes

Where is the rest??

If anyone knows anymore stories like this one can u tell me and also what category its in. Please and Thanks!! Also i love this story please update soon or hope of it coming back.

Continue this please!!!

This is an amazing story. I hope that you continue the story soon.

Great job, I can't wait for the next chapter. Please post soon :D