by laceNlthrgrrl
It is never easy to submit a first story to the public's gaze and I know how the 'butterflies' can reduce you to a wreck, waiting for the first comment, so I felt I had to say welcome and thank you for this fine little story. You have every reason to be pleased with it and I hope you will bring us many more such stories.
Advice is a difficult thing to give and it is probably best not to ask for it in so open a way, but mine is that you keep writing; the more you write, you better you will become at it - like most things, really! Don't allow yourself to be too 'puffed-up' by positive comments or too disheartened by bad ones. It is easy to be a critic, or 'failed artist' as someone once described them.
Thank you, laceNlthrgrrl.
Elegantly and delicately written. You made me remember my Sir. I need him to do these things to me now. My pussy is aching too. Thank you .
very nice start Lace. You provide nice, hot action, while clearly explaining the mindset well. I look forward to more from you.
Tantalizing, vivid, and erotic. Your narrative conveys a mix of fear and anticipation. Good job, keep writing!
I'm not much for BDSM--particularly the painful stuff--but this was great on many levels. In particular, I'm really impressed with your mechanics and pacing, and the way you set such a solid tone in what you choose to say and not say. There is not a word wasted.
This was a goddamn good job.
Very direct, I like that. I could almost seen the room and the people in it.Almost.
You have a good start here, learn how to use words that will help the reader see the story. With out over doing it.
I look forward to the next edition.
This was an amazing piece. It had good pace and intensity, it was detailed without being verbose. I couldn't find any technical errors. Congratulations on your first posting and I cannot wait to read more!
Oh, so very seldom do you read a story that just takes your breath away. This was one of those few. Short(sadly), intense (to a surprising degree) and as the guy who delivers the slaps, whose hand is on the flogger and the cane, knowing the submissive finds it is as exciting as I do, is erotic as hell.
Thank you laceNlthrgrrl for giving everyone a glimpse into a submissive's POV of a very intense play session.
Mike
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so hot! Thanks for a great 5 star scene. Have no idea what the language gripe is about. Made perfect sense to me -- and I have a bit of experience with writing for public consumption. I guess some folks just like to bitch. Or maybe it's just jealousy. Keep on writing and have a great day! And never, ever let the turkeys get you down.