All Comments on 'Incubus Pupa Ch. 09'

When I saw a new chapter of this story. Awesome development. Please don’t make me wait as long for the next one.

I'm glad to see this story continue. Please don't make me wait to long for the next chapter. Keep up the good work

Good stuff, just a thought after you finish up the rest it might be fun to read an alternative version where he gives in and goes full incubus demon style

Glad to see the addition to the story was afraid it was going to be left unfinished as it sat so long.

I decided to re-read all the chapters before this one to re-familiarize myself with the story. I guess I had been hoping that after chapter 8 and before this one that we were going to get full Incubus good guy gone bad accepting this power and learning adapting becoming an antihero. The sympathetic hero trying to be good with evil powers seems cliche; it might be the pandemic but I sort of want a bad guy to do evil things for selfish reasons and get away with it. Let Adam build that Harem claim the girl and make himself into the thing he thinks he wants to be. It's a little annoying or off-putting that Adam can alter his physique and dick but not his height even though to get "the girl" he thinks he has to be taller.

I'm interested in where it goes from here but where it ends on a cliffhanger what happens next; I'm not sure if this chapter was a step forwards for me or a step backwards. Capturing Ianthe in Chapter 8 was a turning point for me and now I'm not sure.

Thanks for continuing your work. I'm more fan of a good guy course of action.

Personally, I like the longer chapters, but I get that it's probably a bit much to write in one go.

I was expecting Adam to be able to rein in his Fae, (not without difficulty) and make it through the night without incident. Or at least no incidents of supernatural origin, he'd be free to dig himself a hole on his own... Kind of threw me off a bit there, but I guess this adds more depth to a story and makes it more than a generic super-sexy-happy-fun-time-magic-harem story. I like those kind of stories, but having some sort of conflict, adds an extra dimension to the story.

I'd like to see a bit more of Christine. All we've really gotten of her is her initial introduction, and some cuddling (which is always good). Maybe he should take Christine out on a date like he did Sandy, expose the reader to more of her. Adam may have had a chance to get to know her, but we haven't. At least not as much as Sandy, Ianthe, and now Ella.

You keep writing, and I'll keep reading!

I'm not going to lie, I had to go back and reread the whole series to remember who is who and what they looked liked. But this is good stuff. Now comes the big choice does Ella get set free or does he take her home to become her queen. It might be time to take to the other incubus he knows for some help.

Amazing

I actually discovered this story at some point last week or so and once I'd caught up I was going to post a review, fully expecting this story to have been under hiatus only to see that a new chapter was on it's way. So I waited, figuring I'd just review all of it at once. Glad that you're continuing with this idea. I like where it's going so far.

I like Adam. His morality drives the story forward and it makes you very curious how things are going to go. Will he be corrupted by his power or will he be able to find a balance with it? I like where it's going. Now when it gets to the girls, that's where I find it interesting for a different reason. I don't really like Ella. I have to take Adam's word for it but it just seems like the other girls have more to offer short of the height. But this most recent chapter did make me like her a bit more once she was being playful and all. Though all things considered, the Fae might be partially responsible for that.

I adore Ia, though. To the extent that I wish you would have dragged out her seduction a bit more. It was done well, but it would have been cool to have it take more than a night to truly bring her to heel. I can see how that would have rubbed some people the wrong way, but I love their dynamic. I love that she's this strong, confident, powerful woman who desires to be dominated by the person she deems worthy of her submission. Probably why I wanted it to take a little longer, so he could truly prove that he was worthy of it. That said, him being able to claim Ia so quickly just shows how powerful he is and the restraint he uses with Ella. Ia and Adam's entire conversation about Ella just made me fall for Ia even more. I'm really glad she didn't lose the mature aspect to her personality once she became enthralled. She just stands out the most in the harem to me.

I really like Sandy too though. To the extent that I could easily see her or Ia as queen if Adam wasn't so set on Ella. In fact I'm really looking forward to those two meeting. Their personalities are so opposite and yet their devotion is so similar there's just a lot of ways you can go with that. Sandy's really fun and I like that as devoted as she is to Adam, she has reservations about sharing him. Ia seems to as well but she seems to have accepted it more readily than Sandy. I'm glad that it's not too easy.

Now, as for the cliffhanger. I love it. It was built perfectly and the stakes will definitely keep me intrigued for how it's all going to play out. The Fae being sentient and needing to be conquered and doing so only after the damage had been done was a great twist. Looking forward to seeing what Adam does. Great story!

I love where this story is going and I really hope you continue on this journey

Great story please keep it going hopefully the next chapter comes out soon

Sounds like the Doctor and Donna ... closest thing to a soulmate he's found ... and he has to make her forget him.

I Have enjoyed the story so far. I really would love to read more.

Thanks for all the great feedback! It means a lot to me, and knowing that people are enjoying what they're reading really motivates me to release more.

Addressing some of the comments:

Re: a darker or more antihero MC - I admit that might be fun for a parallel story, but with the way I've written this one I think I would struggle to provide the proper character development for Adam if I let him really off the chain (morally). To be clear though, I do not anticipate he will act like he does with Ella with every lady he encounters. She is something of an exception. Regardless, I do plan to write him largely as morally good.

Re: which ladies you prefer and should receive more "screen" time, that's always a struggle. I know I haven't done the best job characterizing Ella at this point, but I've already submitted the conclusion to this chapter in a half-chapter installment ("9.5"), and that should give the reader another side of Ella they haven't seen. Next on my list is another scene with Christine to characterize her better (she will feature pretty heavily in Ch 10). Truth is that I would love to write more about all of them, but I've got to balance it with moving the plot forward and developing Adam's character as well, so it's tough.

Re: the comment about the Doctor and Donna, I actually had to google that one, as I wasn't sure what it referred to. Realizing it was part of Doctor Who is pretty cool though, hopefully my little twist there doesn't feel borrowed. Rest assured, it was completely without my knowledge. I've seen Doctor Who exactly once, and that was when a friend showed me an episode in the early nineties.

I'll continue to do my best for you all with the story. After this major arc with Ella, Adam will be well on his way toward solidifying and stabilizing his core relationships, and then I'll feel better about starting to get more creative with his adventures. I've got so many little vignettes in my head for fun and sexy encounters, but I first need to get the story to the point where I can share them.

Thank you again for your comments.

love your work, hope to see more from you!

With Ella being so much taller than her parents(for no explicable reason), and stupidly hot, could those be signs of something else going on with her?

Could she be a succubus? If incubus exist, a succubus isn't that much of a stretch. Maybe she's a late bloomer and hasn't come into her power (assuming I'm right).

I'm not sure what would or wouldn't be possible between different Fae, but I couldn't keep this theory to myself.

As someone else said:

"Sounds like the Doctor and Donna ... closest thing to a soulmate he's found ... and he has to make her forget him."

And... I hate it. I hated that storyline there, and I hate it here. I hate this trope almost as much as I hate "it was all a dream" endings. Please reconsider going this route. Do a fake-out at the beginning of the next story maybe? He can't go through with it? It doesn't work for some reason? That kind of thing. It takes a 4.5 star story down to a 2 star story, for me at least.

I’m happy to see this is back after the long hiatus. I look forward to more chapter

Regarding Adam's comment to Ells about "every man's fantasy of an amazonian girlfriend" - I'm assuming he said that to make her feel better, because wanting a girlfriend that's taller than you is actually a pretty rare thing among guys. The majority of men prefer women that are shorter than them. Personally, I wouldn't even consider a woman who is 6'5" tall as dating material. Obviously Adam has his own preferences, and that's perfectly fine by me. I'm really only pointing this out to you as an author to make the point that when you choose to create a main character that is "outside the norms", it can reduce the attraction of the story to a large number of readers.

Also, I dislike what you did with Ianthe in regard to her business persona. Here's this driven woman who is self-assured and a savvy businesswoman, then after Adam adds her to his harem, she can't even get through a business meeting without having to call him 4 or 5 times for advice and comfort?! He's essentially made her a WORSE person.

Sandy is too damn needy and clingy. If I had a GF like her I'd dump her ASAP. I've read this type of character in other stories on Lit. Basically the rich cheerleader/bimbo/airhead that wants nothing more than to spend all her time sucking on his cock like it's a lollipop. It's been done countless times before.

Also I noticed you wrote Sandy, Christine, and Ianthe as all having said at one point, "I don't mind moving in with other women, as long as it's ME you sleep with every night". It'll be interesting to see how that plays out.

Personally, I'm more interested in plot development than reading an entire chapter devoted to hanging out in a park having a picnic with Sandy, which did almost nothing to move the story along. I realize you're going for character development, and I don't fault you for that, but you could at least try to throw in a couple of twists and turns, couldn't you?

At any rate, I'm being nitpicky because I'm loving the story, so don't take this feedback the wrong way. There are too few great Mind Control stories out there, and this is shaping up to be one of the better ones. Thanks so much for your time and effort in writing and posting!!!

Damn it. You just broke my heart...

Awesome story...

Great work!

Can’t wait for the next chapter please keep them coming

So he's been basically in love with Ella all this time, wants her for his queen, but now this choice? Oh come on man. This whole chapter has been a waste of time if he has to just forget her. I seriously hope that isn't the route you take.