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Click hereThere's a little shelf built into the wall with some toiletries on it.
She scooches aside this ceramic toothbrush holder and leans her phone up against the back of the shelf, what you might call the wall if it wasn't more like part of the shelf. The phone doesn't want to stay up. The toothbrush holder is heavy-ish, though, and has a rectangular rubber ring around its base that makes it a decent anchor. She uses a corner of the toothbrush holder to keep the phone from sliding down. She trains the lens on what she is pretty sure is the bathtub.
"Are you sure we're in frame or whatever?"
"I'm taking a sample video right now. Hang on."
She grabs the phone again, watches the short video she's just made, then sets it right back where she had it before.
"We're good!" she says.
"You, um, sure are handy with that thing," Will cocks an eyebrow.
Ingrid shrugs.
"Okay!" She steps back into the tub. She can't not do this gracefully. Even when she is about to piss in her brother's mouth, she steps into a bathtub like a professionally trained dancer.
"We're really going to do it this time?"
"Yep. We're rolling. Smile for the camera!"
She turns and does a devastatingly sexy, bottomless pose for the camera. Will just looks at it and gives it a friendly wave. Kid sister arches her hips toward big brother's face, knits her brow as she aims her pelvis at his open mouth, and relaxes the muscles in her belly.
- COMMENTS
Wargamerover 1 year agoThank you for your further comment on your works.
If Nazanin is to be akin to Ingrid l for one look forward to it.
When you catch up with your other works in the mill, please let your Muse return to Ingrid and family. So much fertile ground to explore with that story. You hooked quite a few of us with it.
burgwadover 1 year agoAuthorIngrid's beginning is flawed. Let's all nod our heads and mutter in stately agreement on that. It is just *not* great. "Slow and weird" could maybe condensate around some imaginary, literary defense of it, but I'm not about to mount that argument here: that Ingrid's start is slow and weird is irrelevant to that it is bad.
One quirky rule special to erotica (and a few other genres) is that it needs to be fun. It must elicit a specific physiological response, the almighty orgasm, in readers who have a thing for being teased to climax by words. Actually, maybe there's more than one rule in there somewhere? But anyway, Ingrid strays from this rule. It strays slowly and weirdly, yes; but more importantly, it strays at all.
I want to keep putting out better stuff. A second act to Ingrid's story will be a tricky trick to pull off, as it will have not only to be better in its own right, but also regain lost trust and make up for misspent opportunities (esp. w/r/t female character development). I am in no rush to go blundering in without giving the challenge some real thought. Thank you for your interest in my future output, though. Seriously.
"Ingrid (Act 2 of 2)" does intend to exist, but is waiting patiently its turn while I finish first a huge, weird, slow road trip tale for the Summer Lovin' 2022 contest, "Nazanin." Fans of Ingrid will want to give it a look-see! "Nazanin" will not win any cash prizes, to be sure, but all are welcome to throw their votes away on the submission after it's been published here.
Expect it: sometime in the next couple weeks? I'm hoping to publish by the end of this week, but it's a longer submission, and so will likely take a good minute to clear review. Like I said, not a hopeful contender.
Wargamerover 1 year agoA slow and weird start to the story. But l really got into it and enjoyed the story.
Are you going to publish part 2 soon. I assume u have finished it?
Will this be just parts 1 and 2 or will there be another chapter as well?
Please advise, scores 5/5 looking forward to reading more of this family.
5/5
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoI didn't appreciate the info dump commencing your story and I stopped reading the moment you wrote "pooping." That word is repellent, instantly killing all presumptions of future erotica. Also, it's obvious @ComeDancing is @burgwas enlisting a false account to defend the drug use in his story.
burgwadalmost 2 years agoAuthorThanks for calling my work "captivating" and "gold" and "perfection," you guys. I don't know if it's THAT good, but it's heartening all the same to know I've got a couple fans out there.
