All Comments on 'Intervention From an Unlikely Source'

I was having problems with the introductory paragraphs and came to this section:

"Good news Jen, there is a part time position open and it is from 11am-3pm Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It's just 12 hours a week and no weekends or holidays! It pays $12 an hour. That would be $576 per week."

So... If I do the math, 12 hours a week at $12/hour = $144. Guessing you meant $576/month assuming an average of 4 weeks/month. Anyway, too distracted to read further.

I don’t know how realistic it is for a man to intervene to save the marriage of a woman he’d just met.

I CAN say, that I’ve lived the ’trust’ vs predators discussion, with my wife. Alex & Jenna’s Thursday night discussion was 100% on the mark.

In this story, I’d have liked it if Simon had taken a few minutes of that initial home visit, to explain himself to Alex and Jenna. It could easily have devolved into Jenna accusing Alex of setting her up for Simon’s intervention. An angry, borderline irrational reaction would have been consistent with Jenna being angry that Alex wasn’t immediately ecstatic about her job; and her emotional accusation about not trusting her.

Jenna thinks that she would have resisted the urge and remained faithful all on her own. She's seriously delusional. She was all the way gone. If Simon had actually been trying to get her in bed her marriage and life we're over.

Absolutely beautiful ending, with the reference to Elton John's greatest song. If that's not a 5, what is?

Anony from about three months ago: "Personally I found this story to be very heavy handed. 3 stars.

Penny, although apparently a doting mom and wife, seems to be pretty into herself."

Who's Penny? The wife's name was Jenna, and there was no character in this story named Penny at all. Although I do agree it was rather heavy handed.

How is your math? You must be a CA liberal. 12 hrs x $12/hour is $144 per week...........I guess you meant per MONTH

Fantastic story.

I truly don't want to be harsh but the dialogue is just not the way real people talk. It is clunky, off-putting. I can believe that a guy like Simon exists, but you have him talking as if he was from a Victorian-era women's novel. It just doesn't work.

You totally suck at math. But I liked the story and gave it 5 stars...

How doe she earn Eight hundred and seventy six bucks for twelve hours at twelve bucks an hour?.

Felt like the characters were diminished to serve the story arc. Despite knowing full well about her husband's misgivings, she's ready to jump on some strange dick on her first night out? Yeah, stranger things have happened, but this just felt like it was set up so Simon could give his unlikely sermon. The setup could have worked, but needs to be fleshed out a little more to avoid the stilted feel.

Didn't see that coming. Great story. 5 stars

"Good news Jen, there is a part time position open and it is from 11am-3pm Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It's just 12 hours a week and no weekends or holidays! It pays $12 an hour. That would be $576 per week."

12 hours per week time 12 per hour is 144$……. 576 is 4 weeks pay…………

Exactly, I echo the statement, 'You suck at math, but this was otherwise a great story. '

Think you need to buy a calculator, 12 x12 = $144 for the week.

Noice… very noice story. Good guy to the rescue. Thanks

Good story but you need to decide whose viewpoint the story is told from. Your random and disorganised changes from first person to third person and back again are distracting and, frankly, bad writing. I would have enjoyed the story more had it not been for this issue.

After reading the comments. I did not waste time with the story. I hat poor grammar and despise bad math

A woman who had love and morals? Who'd a thunk it. But thanks, I liked your tale

Math aside, it's a good story.

The core was nice

4.5/5

Pure bullshit; not the writing per se, but the outcome that Jenna would be a faithful wife. At her earliest convenience with a similar or even a not so similar occurance, she will leap into bed with another man. With how easily she fell for Simon, it's in her genes to stray and try others. Probably won't occur till both kids leave the house, but it will occur!

I am sure the author can do math. It wasn't a mistake in his math it was a mistake in writing "week" when he meant "month". Cool story but I thought she gave in way too easily. Simon was the first guy to make a move on her and she just goes for it? Kinda ruined her character for me.

She seemed to think that SHE would have saved herself when she was already lost. Don't you have to ask yourself why you need/want to have outside fun at clubs without your spouse? It ain't because they aren't fun. It's because you don't want them around. At a club, that usually means flirting then fucking.

It aint the end of the world, but keep it one hundred: you're trying to live the single life.

Hmm. She was pretty easy to be ready to cheat. What Kevin 3 did she learnhere? if im tempted I'll cheat so don't get tempted. In which case don't leave the house and don't answer the door deal with noone but your family. And if that's the case is the marriage worth saving? Ridiculous... i can't believe all women or all men are ruined by their hormones and can't help banging anything they can. Unless I'm there only one with any kind of self cl in the world...

Patently unbelievable

You really need a math class, or just leave the numbers out. $12 an hour, at 12 hours a week is only $144. You're not even close.

Storm 113 is right with his maths,but he fails to point out,she did not get five hundred and seventy six,but eight hundred and seventy six dollars for a twelve hour week.

No one talks like this!

Also, the very first “stop after work for any reason” should have been the last one! The husband should have told her to get home to her family. Married woman have no business drinking without their husbands. Married women don’t dance with anyone else besides their husbands. Married women certainly don’t become friends with sluts who want to drag them down into depravity!

She was a foolish, naive, little girl. If she had so little wisdom, and complete ignorance about the “pitfalls” if the world, her children would be chewed up and spit out once they leave home. She’s neither a good wife or mother!

ZK

I read it again and I like it a lot!

Math must be hard for you... Does going past 11 confuse you?

You shouldn't introduce other characters and not give them closure, for example, what happened with Bethany and Darren, why didn't Jenna tell her the story that Simon told her and what she nearly did, did Bethany ever confess to Darren of her infidelity? Why mention these characters and not end their story as well.

The math didn't bug me but the weird shifts between first and third person did.

excellent story and this was a one in a hundred outcome which is freshly deserved. Thank you.

Well, not much good can happen in a situation where a spouse is in a situation where there is drinking and vertical foreplay and peer pressure to let go of your values in the name of fitting in. Men might be able to pull it off, sans the dancing, because mostly they won't be the target of a seduction. Let's face it, an average looking man won't be persued but an average looking woman can get all she wants. Wife did nothing to be proud of at any time during the outing.

"Truthfully, I knew I'd never really know the answer for certain and not sure if I truly wanted the answer.". Um... you may have stopped at the last minute but you know you said yes when he asked so.... it's there inside you.

I liked the story overall... but this wasn't innocent. I disagree with the bullshit about women shouldn't be going anywhere without their husbands. That's as stupid as saying the same for guys. But a weekly thing that takes time away from family, and certainly a club like that .. no. The afternoon thing may have been ok if your spouse knows and is comfortable with it... that last is always the key, man or woman.

Your fun should never be more important than the comfort of your spouse. If you can't get on the same page, you shouldn't be together....

Pappy7... sorry that's BS. It isn't about others chasing you. We have brains and make decisions, so it's all on the person cheating unless they are forced or drugged. The idea that guys can go out because they're less likely to get hit on is absurd.

I'm not some Greek god but I've been in plenty of situations where a woman was interested and I've never entertained the idea of doing anything that wouldn't be ok if my wife was right there with me.

The idea that the promise of sex turns the brain off is silly.

That said, dancing with someone in an intimate way is something you shouldn't do with anyone but your spouse in my opinion.

I see no difference between a man and a woman going out except the increased likelihood of assault or being drugged for a woman, which is sad and should not mean woman cannot leave the house alone.

I've never been one to nit pick about grammar or punctuation. However, how does $12/hr for 12 hrs = $576. Then it get's worse as her first paycheck comes to $876.42 after taxes. Hard to believe a talented writer isn't even aware of 3rd grade math.

Since when, is making sure your spouse is well-informed of various dangers in a situation, a lack of trust? Jenna might be 2 sandwiches short of a picnic. Not to mention a bit selfish. Then again, they always seem to be. And no surprise on the first time out to a club and some guy comes onto her she was ready to hop in the sack. Seriously why are all the wives written as shallow, dumb bitches with no moral fortitude?

The fact that Bethany - an engaged woman, naturally - is the ringleader of their group and keeps upping the ante should be cause for concern. I feel bad for her fiancé. Poor guy doesn't know he's engaged to a slut. Hope he finds out and dumps the stupid bitch.

Story loses a few stars because Bethany the cheating slut got away with it and also because Jenna the supposed loving wife was so easily seduced despite being forewarned about everything and wasn't even that drunk. Pretty shitty writing to be honest.

All that was shown is that she can't be trusted.

And in general women do get hit on countless times more than men, even these days.

"Bethany was a smart girl." No. No she fucking wasn't. She, like the MC, was just another dumb slut all-too-eager to succumb to some lothario piling on the compliments. Pretty sad really. I can't help but wonder just how many woman are actually like this and as easy as the women portrayed in these stories. I sure hope it's a lot less than I think.