All Comments on 'Is this Fate? Pt. 01'

Amazing first story. Thank you so much for sharing. Very well written and so detailed. You describe things so beautifully, it was a pleasure to read and I do hope you write some more. Great first work.

Sorry, but you really need an editor, couldn't finish reading. Although it's a decent outline, it lacked flow. I hope you can find a good proof-reader and re-submit. It has potential.

Might be a story in there, somewhere. But the writing is so incredibly bad, that I will never get a chance to find out.