by fawguy88
was another man whore in front of his employee.get real and use common sense.stop being a wimp and kick t ass.or be a cockold of the town.she needs to go to aa.
ESPECIALLY WHEN FAMILY ASSISTS IN TRAITORING. TK U MLJ LV NV
Seriously - is this it?! Is that why the story has that title, because the author knew it would have an abrupt, nonsensical ending? The story was good up until this point, but this chapter was a big disappointment. The reconciliation was far too quick, and unjustified. It's not just that she cheated on her husband with a short affair. He cheated too, so in a sense they were even. But then she made it clear that she had no interest in reconciling, kept on with her lover in a way that publicly shamed her husband, and refused to even say that she loved her husband, not even a little. THEN she wants to get back together? And she STILL has never said she loves him. A big point was made of that all throughout the story, and yet here at the end, she STILL apparently doesn't love him, because she never says it (to sing a song with those words is not the same as to actually say the words in a meaningful discussion). He would be insane to take back a woman who has made clear she doesn't love him. It just seems like things didn't work out with her lover, so she went back to her second choice, her husband, since she didn't have any better option.
This story needs a chapter 6, where a more sincere reconciliation takes place. Perhaps she gets revenge on her lover to show that she really does love her husband and he's not just a second choice? And to show they really can be happy together and aren't just staying together for the kids?
There probably should be a category called "Reconciliation at all costs." This woman set out to publicly humiliate him, egged on by her Mom. Not sure, but the phrase "poor white trash" comes to mind (even though Debbie and her family were well-to-do). I don't see any reconciliation without extensive counseling. Oh, and "T" needs to go.
More better if t has a permimately broken pee pee for his efforts. it is the right thing to do even in bloody britten.
This started out so well, short-chaptered though it was, and was getting somewhere, but this last chapter, if'n I was walking through the Emotion, Thinking and Sensitivity, it's fair to say I would not be getting my toenails wet.
And this is the Last chapter? Where is the rest?
What went wrong?
And why the change from L W to Mind Control?. . . Chaptered Tales really SHOULD stay in the one genre, n'est ce pas?
And as one previous commenter opined, Do we need a "RAAC" section for "Reconciliation At All Cost". My opinion is "No, keep us guessing!!"
Cheers, and Thanks, I think
Kilroy
Don't care, really, what Happens to his character be it getting off scot-free, . . . BUT. . . the number if times I saw "T" and Read it as "I"....
Words of Wisdom from the audience, Next Time Call him something different, I was thinking TW, or TX, but then people would then be readimg That as "TV" or "Texas".
Experiment a bit with what the name LOOKS LIKE in print, especially the ariel used here.
and a hint picked up from another site.. DVD Review can look like "DUD review".
Thanks, & Cheers
Kilroy
No Love for a husband, but love for T. You need one more chapter when our hero wakes up from the dream he is in now. Then he realizes that he is still divorcing this Heartless Bitch!
The bitch publicly shames him by blowing her lover 2 days in a row in front of his associates and all she talks about is how her affair got started. How could they have reconciled without talking about that?
What happened to T? Did he dump her as soon as the divorce proceedings got started? How come you don't mention the kids except in passing? The problem with your short chapters is you don't develop the scenes. This is the worst example of RAAC that I have ever read. This chapter does not fit with the last one. Simply singing a song that she says is her husband's favorites, that she never sung to him before, is not enough. She still has not said she loves him and her actions indicate that he in fact hates him. I would never take the crazy bitch back.
up until this chapter i was really getting to like the characters ,but you wimped out .No excuses you killed your own story
... chapter!
I'm not a member of the BTBB so I don't mind if you went for reconciliation if that's how you felt the story should end. It is your story and you certainly can end it any way you wish!
But as pointed out by others there are many loose ends I wish you would tie up. Not only about "T" and others but how about who masterminded the setup? (For instance were T and Irene behind it all)? So consider an epilogue!
Thanks for the sharing!
Are you aware that I found your last chapter in "Mind Control" instead of "Loving Wives"?
Well it's been a slow-ish' week in LW submissions. This serial has been the best sustained effort we readers have had to peruse between figeting on
our hands as we wait for the Stang Star opus of the week ( MIA so far).
I wondered if Fawguy had a bus to catch as he brought the series to what seems to be a RAAC conclusion. Janet has been a moody cow to him for literally years, doleing out monthly mercy fucks, cheated in public multiple times, acquired a social disease from her lover and tried to deflect the STI onus on him. She could have infected him but withheld the knowledge from erroneous health clinic notification for two months.
To top it all if this woman ingests three to four drinks, her dormant libido erupts and she becomes 'the town bike'. Is there a combo Antabuse and birth control pill this woman could swallow daily?
This started out so well. Fawguy gave us a semblance of a real man for narrator/ lead character. There was Scottish Highlands local color and the contrast of spouses' differing social classes as garnish .
Chris recounted a credible tale of vocational success as a specialty in plaster restoration. He had flaws but once his family got underway worked hard and was cautious and discrete on his liaisons that Debbie caused on large part by aforementioned 12 x yearly duty fucks.
Fawguy has talent. Judging by this effort , he has more talent then time. I hope he doubles up his chapters in the future and stays away from using cheesy Whitney Houston songs as inspiration when casting about for story conclusion. BTW I hope he made his bus.
If this is the end of the story I am very disappointed. There needs to be more to the story and at least something that resembles an ending. This chapter leaves a lot of loose ends flapping in the wind. Tie them off. Give us more.
Also, why the hell is this story in "Mind Control"? Did I miss something? Or was I the victim of Mind Control?
I have really looked forward to each chapter of this story as it continued to evolve. How do you go from Chris's total humiliation at the end of Chapter 4, to a sappy loving ending in Chapter 5?
The previous commentor was right, I know it's your story, but this ending is lazy and not worthing of your previous efforts.
and you can write like your want to (APOLOGY TO LESLIE GORE), HOWEVER EXPECT (INCOMING)....TK U MLJ LV NV
Because no mam in control of his faculties would go back to this bitch. Debbie has never shown him ANY respect, is he really pathetic enough to crawl back?
OK! I hope there is more than this. This can't be it. This was to short. I've followed the story. What you got tired of writting. You even mad this shorter than the other chapters?
This was crap for an ending. You don't go from public humiliation to loving spouse with a song. What about the a$$ that caused this? Do they still work with him? Severl one night stands do not equal a 3month affair. One night stands are lust, a three month affair is emotional. I am a reasonable person and will forgive a lot, but the way this was written, I cannot see ever looking at her without wanted to choke her. I would probably have paused the divorce pending developments, but would not have moved back home and if I did spend the night, it would not have been in her bed.
You had such a good start even with the short chapters. Keep writing, you have talent. Develop an end game. (Was this the end?)
There was no evidence presented to make a reader think any of the characters in this story had a mind of any kind. His wife gives his sworn enemy blow jobs in public and he reconciles with her immediately? Which one of these clowns has a mind?
of LW stories that cannot make intelligent cheaters. They were both stupid and selfish people. In this case divorce would be the only healthy thing to do. If they are both so easily manipulated, then they will cheat again. Save the children from them also. Terrible examples of parentng. And why is it she gets away with PUBLIC humiliation of him and everyone feels sorry for her. The stupidity germ seems to infect family and friends too. If this is evolution at work, the human race is in big trouble.
just write a throw away ending. Great story until this last chapter. All the wonderful tension and intriguing characters in your previous chapters just went down the drain. Nonetheless, thank you for your efforts Faw.
The outcome of the story is: keep cheating - everything will be OK.
He should have kicked her ass out of the door long ago. It is also unproved that the kids are really his. So a little bit revenge would be the spice of the story.
You had me till the last chapter nothing special ending!
You obviously have never worked in construction. To take the Heartless Bitch back, he would need to sell his business and move to another country!
But the story did not make too much sense to me. I agree with the previous commentator that he would have start all over again in another city if he took back the wife who publicly humiliated him twice. Finally she really had to say that she loves him in a relaxed loving way...
This was a great story until this last chapter, you just ended it with him looking like a wimp, need a couple more chapters so he can get his revenge on T and to see if his mother in law was part of the set up. Have no problem with them getting back together, but it was to quick, this was the first time they had spoke to each other in months and the next day they are back together, first he would need her to prove her love for him, and then they would have to sell up and move away to try to start a new life. if not kick her back to T and his mates and let her become the town whore and write another stories about her whoring her self out with her mother in tow.
But, there are some very loose ends about this one.
First, if Debbie is so broken up about the divorce, then why was she still screwing Little T long after the papers were filed? For the story to work, that really needed to be answered in very straightforward terms.
Second, although Debbie explains the how long she was cheating, and why she was doing it, there is no explanation or reason to believe that she has learned anything from the episode. For that matter, there is no indication of why, or if, she has stopped seeing Little T. even as she is trying to get her husband to return.
Third, there is no indication of how this couple (neither of whom seem TOO dedicated to keeping their marriage intact - to state it mildly) would work in the future to keep from repeating their behaviors.
Somehow, just having her sing a song about 'I'll always love you' — granted, implying that she has finally come to realize that she in fact DOES love her husband — seems like thin gruel to inspire her husband to return to the family, and move past her behavior.
And, if I might add, how could she, her husband and children, ever continue to live in that town? She has pretty much ruined her reputation there, and by reflection, her husband's if he takes her back.
Maybe an epilog to explain some of the authors thoughts on these issues would be in order.
A final observation: the chapters in this story were too short. This was really about a two to three chapter story, rather than five really short chapters.
I'm afraid to think what some of the other comments are like, but I hope that the author might find these thoughts to be constructive as he approaches future stories.
I don't know why everyone is upset... neither character is worth two shits... He fucks married women, and cheat on her repeatedly... he is a bigger piece of shit than she is. As far as I can tell she has several "get out of Jail free" cards left in her deck.
The dumb slut and the cockold. Are there no men left in the Lit stories and no they do not need to hurt anyone, just leave the slut to her own ways.
P.S. It is just BS to stay together for the children. I know I have been there and hated it.
Kilroy
Did Debbie learn how to control his mind and nobody else knows it. You can not even put this thing in the right Cat let alone tell a coherent story.
How come everyone is on the guys side? He admitted he cheated on her, Everyone read about him cheating on her. He had multiple partners. She had one partner, granted it was over a long period of time but he cheated on her longer then that. I think they can get over this
Great story Good build up (except too short chapters)..
4 ch. on how it started but 1/2 on how it ended.. well one para. on it... why did she change her mind... did Little T(urd) dump her???? How are they going to trust each other?? WOW at least 2-3 more of your chpt's..
Yes as some have said he also did it but he did it discreetly, she did it in public. big diff. not good for either.
Yes he cheated first, but his was one night stands and discretely. Her was open in public view for maximum damage. He had no feelings for his in digressions, but hers is with the one she loves. The Turd T showed no love for her but wanted to humiliate her and him. She never said she loved him, a song don't count. What about there jobs, they both work with the Turd T, he is not through using his slut and will now share her first before passing the slut along. Will he eat his cream pies for the children, fuck the children. If there is no love from both sides then there is no marriage. Staying together for the children will only do more damage to the children in the long run then staying together. Its better to cut your loses so the children can accept and move on with there life's also. Children need love and support from both parents, not one, to grow and mature. So if this is finished then the whole story rates a one, if fawguy88 finishes it more realistically then I'll rate it higher. It will only get a 5-star rating if the bitch pays the Turd T back, that was not love what he did to her and if she loved what he did to her then a divorce is the only course, love or not, she will cheat again.
sit down take a week and write chapter 5 properly mate that was terible i swear the longer you write a story the worse it gets
That was horrible.This chapter says only one thing. Men can do adultery their entire life and get away scotfree. They want their wives to accept their cheating and adultery happily. But the same men want their wives to be loyal to them always. If the wife cheats then all hell breaks loose. sick. No wife should tolerate adultery from husband. Wife should chop off balls of the cheating husband and feed off to cats.
I think your story has taken a life of its own and is trying to write itself out of the many corners it has found itself in Blow off our comments and take this one as learniing experience. To my mind, there is no shared fault here it was hers now it's all his. Ping Ponging the adultery between them seems to be spinning the wheels of the story and not making for a fulfilling read. Just a simple thought from a simple man. Cheers and keep writing!
well as both my mate & I agree that they are both to blame he never heared her say I love you to him. after somany years. I think he should do some big damage to MR T for what he did. Liked the part where he defended her as she was still his wife . that was a good thing shows he still loves her in some ways. lets have more to this story becuase as one of the other said Mr Turd is not done with her yet. but please make the chapters longer & more action in them. the turd know she what happens when she is druck. knowing that he will make her drink with out her knowing it until to late. As my mate said the guy should have the kids tested to see if they are his. as it sounds like the turd may have put them in her when she was drunk & then sent her to fuck her husband. this he did with out checking that she had no Jiz in her at the time. would love to see the turd get fucked over for what he's done to them both. make them the turds boss. Dianne & Dave
I think you need at least one more chapter. Some sort of calamitous revenge needs to be enacted on Mr T. Then These two need to explore her exhibitionistic side. Clearly there's potential here for other genres.
So, the whore gets away with it, huh. What a crappy tale.
I can't imagine any male with any balls ever taking that woman back after her outragess actions, or a father that would tell his son to do so. This story was just to much to accept in any way.
Just a story but think you blew the ending, seemed rushed to end the tale and left to many hanging pieces. She a tart and he's wimps out in the last chapter. She has to be drunk to get pregnant and he excepts her never telling him she loves him. Yea, your characters need some real therapy
There is no way a man could forgive ANYONE for the public humiliation she heaped upon him. The guy would have no self respect at all and that makes this story, as another poster said " pathetic".
Good story. Don't know why all the outcry 'torch the bitch'. HE was he first one to cheat and did it more than once! The lack of sex from his wife is no excuse, nor was his cheating on her. The wedding vows say 'in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad'. Postnatal depression is serious stuff. BOTH of them cheated, broke their vows and hurt the other. fawguy88, you've got it right. The BTB brigade on this one has no understanding of human relationships or true love. There are no wimps here - it takes more courage and hard work to forgive and rebuild a relationship than to cut and run (with or without revenge.) Signed, Surreptitious
This is some of the better quality writing here ignore the idiots and please keep writing!
Sorry, i missed the chapter, where he donate his brain and balls!
to bad people do not comunuicate with each other and let them know what is not working for them in there lives and marriage. if they did and trust each other this story would not have happened. some comments on him being a cuckhold it works both ways he cheated first. but some men must feel women are whores and only they can cheat.. pretty sick thinking..i love those sick comments from guys who say kill the bitch. they want women to ware a dog collar
It seems around a third of wives cheat on their husbands making them cuckolds but I think that many of the critics here are either too mentally retarded to have a relationship at all or are so smug they have no idea that their wives are very likely to have put it out elsewhere.
Know a guy for some years who only knew his wife was cucking him (some 2 years earlier) when a friend (a fellow salesman) brought up his wife after a few drinks on the road and after some seemingly suggestive comments was given the impression the husband knew what had happened between them and this guy then told him how he and his wife had had an ongoing affair and the details in technicolor. Subsequently he found out from this guy she had been seeing someone else too and yet he knew nothing of it.
He never let on about it to his wife and indeed became so aroused at the idea of his 'conservative' wife cheating and managing to do this without once letting it out of the bag has subsequently started to encourage the idea though without doing the deed as yet.
Yes he cheated discretly. She might as well have put her infidelity on 60 minutes. You hazve people taking photos of her on her knees sucking off T. Then she plays with T at a public party. Who inthat town is ever going to respect him for taking her back. The children will hear about their mother from their classmates. This is a recipet for disaster. He's a chump. And I am not a "burn the bitch" kind of guy.
Husband = idiot.
Sometimes these "men" just need roll over and die! And us real men will take their women. Yeh for T!
I liked it (and most of your other work). She was an odd duck, and frankly so was he, willing to settle for a love less relationship. Still it was their choice.
The reconciliation should have been more difficult that it was, but it was the end of the story, and there was little need to drag it out. Perhaps the moral of the story is find out what each others kinks are, and find a way to satisfy them. If there was a sequel, they would be happy swingers, publicly fucking each other, and others.
We should feel sorry for people who need others to validate their moral choices.
Chilley
that you mentioned in Ch 01 - and euphemistically called a 'back yard' - is the place where this marriage is headed.
NB For those who who don't know a 'midden' is defined as "a dunghill or refuse heap."
its also fodder for the divorce court, TK U MLJ LV NV
This series leaves a lot of unanswered questions. But in the end the cheaters deserved each other. Funny, though, she never did say "I love you" to him.
She'll fuck T again and he'll fuck around again himself. A cheaters a cheater.
Happy endings don't come from a story like this...Once a cheater always a cheater.
They all seem to be like this. Damn worthless nation. "1" !
How about he's an adulterous husband?
In this tale it's two far from perfect spouses.
Personally i would have decked my father and told him to fuck off, fucking wimp bitch,all those words again wasted, but you still have a strong cuckold(women) following, and once again the crying women crutch and kids waaaaa waaaa - come back for them- it sad but the marriage rate is falling because this shit happens and men now dont like ,trust, or respect women because they are like this cunt more often than not and parent of men(abandoned wife,signal moms,men see why dad left) support the women.
through all the four chapters the author was signaling that this man will do the right thing, and then here we see him as no more then a wimp, his wife treat him like shit after the child is born, no sex, no affections, and no I love you through out their whole marriage, and she publicly disgrace him not only the first time but more then once after that, and all that is forgiven because he was driven to cheat a couple of times for the lack of sex and passion at home, one star.
This is a screwed up mess that was extremely unpleasant to read.
them, at least lay a better foundation. Her actions were evil. He was a cheater, but was discreet and while not a justification, sex every 6 weeks was inexcusable. Her unwillingness to SAY she love him - regardless of the song - showed she was not ready to make a real full commitment. There needed at least some counseling, and some attempt to slowly regain the relationship. I think in the end she even hinted that she needed him to be there for the kids - to take some of the work off of her? She is very selfish and arrogant vis a vis her mother. He would ultimately be better off with a woman who was not afraid to love him.
He takes her back , why? For the kids sake. The ending was never finished properly.
Just a story but people do the strangest things sometimes, lack of communication thus not expressing concerns and worries about the day to day thoughts and misgivings, there is probably more reality to this story than we may think. Marriage because of pregnancy, interfering mother in law, old boy friend on the scene, husband not getting enough therefore taking the occasional quickie, ring any bells folks? Good story I thought, well done.
D-I-V-O-R-C-E!
Her excuse for New Year's Eve is BS!
Her excuse is she was drunk?
But she KNOWS how she gets when she drinks, that's why she DOESN'T drink!
So her drinking was deliberate, knowing what could/would ensue.
She should divorce him for his affairs. But not putting out must make it ok so she is totally to blame and he can act self righteously. Please!!
You do need to find an editor though lines like
She sat down on the couch and went upstairs to pack a bag
Need proof reading
So him hearing about the new year fuck fest, and "I love you" was all it took? Nah! She has to talk about being t's slut and about life going forward
I gave the series 5's because it was good writing
Chilley
In that there were no cinditions for reconciliation. In my view, Debbie should do some "penance" and her husband should tell her that he WILL leave is she so much as talks to T.
Having read the other chapters, I now understand why this chapter rated so poorly compared to the others.
Wow...... You really ruined did it.... I didn't think you would actually want to destroy all your hard work but you did....
it is utterly irrational for HIM to forgive Debbie for her behaviour, because he was the one who wandered first.
I can see this as the basis for a good story - revenge sex for the wrong reason - but this isn't that story.
But the ending is totally out of the realm with him in the story. Up until then the story was great.
This guy is really something.
1) She told him from the beginning that she didn't love him.
2) In all of the 13 years, she never said she loved him.
3) Sex maybe once a month - from a supposedly highly-sexed woman.
4) Acting like a slut at party.
5) Completely humiliating him at Party with ex-boyfriend.
6) Doing things with ex-boyfriend that she never did with husband.
I guess you could go on and on with reasons.
KarenE said it best "D.I.V.O.R.C.E."
In which he does not come home until she fixes things to his satisfaction. Maybe it would be her publicly humiliating T, (and all who participated in seting him up), and publicly admitting she believed faked evidence. When she fixes things, then he considers coming home.
There would have to be a LOT of discussion and apology from her before he would even consider reconciliation. A three month affair that continued after he left against some one night stands when she deprived him of sex. Not comparable! She was a bitch for years, a slut for months and disrespected him.
This was a lazy ending. If the betrayal is serious, which this most certainly was then you have to work very hard to justify reconciliation. This was not the case in this story. I am not against reconciliation but the remorse and the restitution must reflect the degree of betrayal and this certainly did not. So don't stop writing of reconciliation but do it in a credible way please.
had never blown him, I must assume she had never given him her ass. And allowing T to continue their sexcapades while hubby walked in was also over the top. Sorry, fawguy88, you did not convince me. Disliked the ending.
It has to be well written and this wasn't. It just left a bad taste in the mouth. It was as if the author couldn't be bothered to write another Chapter. In any event he had dug the hole too deep. It started with refusing to say she loved him then moved on to encouraging a stranger feel her tits, then to neglect for years, cheating for months, disrespect and open betrayal at the party, treacherous connivance with her mother and the continued open betrayal after he walked out.
How could one line from a song and a few half hearted apologies compensate for all that. And to add insult to injury he then blames himself for causing her so much pain! Really. Rewrite that last Chapter or add another that makes sense author.
Some facts for all you misogynistic BtB's out there who are blaming her and excusing him.
He was a cheatee with married women before they got together.
He cheated on her well before she did and with a lot more women during their marriage. He may have had poor reasons, but as BtB lovers comment on other stories when women cheat - there is no excuse to cheat.
She knew he was having "dalliances" (her words) so the doctored photos would be easy to believe.
As they both were blameworthy I think RAAC was a good ending. I do agree that T should have been punished.
Abrupt wrap up? The first four were masterpieces. This one, not so much.
There is no possible justification for your ending. As paper, not even worthy of the outhouse.
Really? The HUSBAND caused all the pain....
Stories are free and so is this comment
I applaud your writing skills
I have trouble with the ending of a number of your stories as spouses-both genders-seem in the ultimate end to oh so easily overlook betrayal
husband acts like a man with pride self respect, dignity and intelligence. this is why people get annoyed at these types of stories, this wouldn't happen if they acted like me
Let me get this straight: Husband fucks other women but when his wife fucks another man after she finds out about his affairs she's a slut and he's not real man if he forgives her?
What a sad bunch of hypocrites you are.
LA
Me, I'd of never in a life time gotten back together with that cheating woman again.
If you build a plot that clearly shows massive arrogance and disdain for a spouse, it is stupid and implausible to arrange a reconciliation in the last 5% of your garbage. You demonstrate a total lack of respect for the characters you have created and total ineptitude in plotting.
A reconcilliation after the way she slutted around, ha ha ha. Would never happen unless the guy was some desperate wanker.