All Comments on 'Is This Really Happening?! Ch. 01'

Keep going!

This is a good start, but it was way too short. Although it is a good prologue for things to come. There are a lot of possibilities that you can develop with this story. I would like to see a lot more sex and maybe have the genie make him rich, either by making the sports cards mint condition and extremely valuable or having him win a huge lottery. Maybe even both, then work on his looks and size so he will be able to get the women or woman he wants. Of course there are a lot of other things that can happen as well so please keep writing.

It's Heather Harmon you savage.

Its a good start and can be great story.

It's not bad for your first attempt. You went the genie route, but avoided the cliche by not having him fuck the genie. That was nice. Your grammer was flawless. To many writers have small mistakes in how they phrase things, whick takes you out of the story. However, the sex scenes were way to short and simple. Also, there was no real emotion in them. Try bring more descriptive about what he felt was going on, and maybe add a few erotic details. Ex: "I was high as a kite, and my dick had never felt so good.I could hear the sounds of Heather taking my cock like a pro, making slurping noises and moaning softly like she was getting off on getting me off." Adding the details and emotion will solve the length problem, too. Also, did he feel anything about his grandpa being dead? I would be broken up. Even if he didn't like his grandpa, he would be feeling something. The lack of an emotional reaction is a bit creepy. I like the premise, and I'd love to know why the genie was in an erotic lamp as opposed to something a bit more antique.

Please dont keep us hanging.... lets see where this goes!

It is a good story thus far, I am liking it. I thought the inheritance was a bit odd though - his dad gets the house and he gets everything in it, but what about the dad's siblings and their kids? You mention them in the second paragraph but not what they got or if they cared about not getting the house. It might not seem that important, but it was a glaring omission to me. It is possible it referred to the wife's siblings and kids, but then we would not expect them to be especially upset unless there was more back story to explain why they were close to him. Anyway, nice work.

I just wish it had been continued.