All Comments on 'Isabel, The Beauty Next Door Pt. 04'

Can't wait for the rest of the story

Wonderful story. You should be proud.

Riveting! I couldn't stop reading. Looking forward to the next chapter.

I like the story, most of the time.

This is not a flame, just things I learned as I learned to read, in no paricular order.

Use the same voice (except inside quotation marks)...first person: I walk down the street. second person: He or she walks down the street. third person: Jim and Sally hold hands as they walk down the street.

Use the same tense throughout the story (except when one character speaks to another character)... present tense: I sit as I type on this keyboard. Past tense: I sat to compose a message. future tense: I will sit at my computer all day, Thursday, next week.

I hope these suggestions make sense.

An enchanting story

Well worth the wait. This is a great plot line with many interesting possibilities. I like your woriting style. Character development is first rate! Very well done.

One of the best I've read so far

Am sure the next chapter will be even better. Great stuff

This is exactly the kind of story I've been looking for! It's been so nice reading these :)

A nice flowing storyline. You have a lifetime of story opportunities ahead of you if you so choose. Very well done. Looking forward to the next chapters ahead.

I thought it was pretty good until

"...(t0hen I feel the sensitive end come up against what I thought is the end of her vaginal canal, but quickly realized that my cock had only gone in about a quarter of its length. We continued to grind for a moment until Izzy broke the kiss.

I look at her with a question in my eyes. " 'You have reached my hymen Jimmy.' "

No - no - no - a thousand times no! The spell - suspension of disbelief that the author had created - gone - blown - kaput The hymen is not a solid barrier nor is it a quarter cock's length inside the vagina - it is at the entrance

The author's use of this meme spoiled the story - just another stroke story now

I agree with Witton, I would leave an anatomy lesson except that Witton has already done it for me.

I like the passion of two young people who find that their romance is moving ahead faster than they might have dreamed. In the couple's first time however, I am struggling with whether the author is trying to make a clever statement, or is just inconsistent. He enters her VIRGINAL hole (reasonable, as at the moment of entry she is a virgin), then he is up against her hymen in her VAGINAL canal (perhaps implying she is no longer a virgin). But once through her hymen, we are back to VIRGINAL walls. Lovely encounter in any case.

James is in his second year in college? I thought these kids were still in high school. I find it hard to believe that a guy that age would be so naive or have so little knowledge of female biology. In a past chapter he did not know that women get wet.

If you go back to make Corrections I am pretty sure you named Isabel's mother Heather earlier in the story. I don't remember James's mother being named. Of course if both of them are named Heather then it doesn't really matter. I am enjoying the story. There are moments where the suspension of disbelief are broken but it's more of a cutie story, not sexy that I can live with the problems.

Loving this story.......it is just the way I wish my first encounter went........many years later it is still my favourite fantasy. Love your writing style.......I am there.......I am Jimmy in the bed.......I can smell the muskiness of Izzy's cunt.....I can see and taste her swollen lips.

You have given Izzy a wonderful personality......not too shy..........open and free.......

I am looking forward to the next episodes.......

Don't worry about the inconsistencies.......I loved every part of the story......