It Started Under The Tree

"Nothing. I did nothing. It's just that I did this stupid fucking thing, and now I'm in a lot of trouble. I'm in a lot of fucking trouble."

"What did you do?"

"I did this thing, and these people are going to kill me. They're going to fucking kill me."

"Who are these people?"

"I did this thing, and these people are going to kill me."

"Jack, who are these people?"

He turned, and he stared me in the eyes, and he smiled at me. He brought his face in close to mine and I wasn't sure if we were about to kiss. He moved his lips next to my ear, and he whispered something.

"I fucked the wrong person."

Something about that sounded familiar. He kissed me on the cheek, and then he left.

---

PART 5

That night I drove out to the dump to meet with my old dealer, Ro. He was there waiting for me, and he was smoking a cigarette. He was sitting in his old Dodge van, and he was wearing a white tank top and a black hoodie.

I parked the car and walked toward the van. He looked at me and motioned for me to come closer. I walked to the van and he opened the back door and motioned for me to climb in.

"No, thanks, I'm okay."

"Come on, man, I don't want anyone to see us. Get in."

I climbed in the van and sat down in the backseat. The back of the van had been fixed up with a big red cloth. There were pillows and newspapers and a box of Kleenex and a bunch of candles and a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and a thermos and two shot glasses and a mirror and a bag of marijuana.

"What's the mirror for?" I asked.

"I'm a fucking pusher, man. What do you think the mirror is for?"

He had a point. I felt dumb. For the first time I noticed how close Ro and I were sitting next to each other in the van. He had pretty good cologne on. I had never noticed that before, but I had to admit that I liked it. Ro's arm was draped over the seat next to me. I could feel his fingers digging into the seat. His fingers were jagged and uneven, like they were made from broken windows and pieces of broken glass.

"You want some pot?" he said.

I was about to say yes when I noticed his eyes. He had brown, almost golden brown eyes. The kind of eyes that made you think about tall grass swaying in the wind in the middle of summer. I had never noticed that either. I felt like I was in a trance. His eyes were so bright.

"Joe?" he said, snapping me out of my trance.

"Huh?"

"I asked you if you want some pot?"

"No, that's okay."

"Hey, man, relax. It's just a little pot."

"I know, but I don't want any."

"Whatever, man. Whatever you want."

Ro poured a couple of shots of vodka and a little bit of the pot into a shot glass. He handed me a shot, and I downed it.

"What's going on with you, Joe?" he asked.

I told him about Jack. I told him about the cocaine.

"I don't want to get involved with this, Ro. I'm just doing this as a favor to a friend."

"It's okay, man. It's just a favor. It's not a big thing. It's not like you're out there doing a lot of this stuff. I mean, you're not a real dealer or anything. You're just helping out a friend."

"That's true."

I looked at Ro. He was looking at me. I could feel the heat from his body. His hand was still on the seat next to me. He moved his hand a little closer to my hands. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I could feel my hands sweating. I could feel my face turning red. He moved his face toward me, and he kissed me on the cheek. I closed my eyes. I knew he was going to kiss me on the lips, and I knew I wanted him to kiss me on the lips.

He kissed me. His lips were soft, but they had a bit of a rough texture to them. I don't know why I had never noticed that before. I kissed him back. His lips were soft, but they were dry, too. I wanted to lick them, but I didn't. I just kissed him back. I don't know how long we kissed. It was just one of those kisses that you don't want to end. When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me again. He was smiling.

He was smiling, but it wasn't a smile that made you think about happy summer days. It was a smile that made you think about bad things happening. It was a smile that made you think about dead bodies.

"Hey, Joe?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to come to my place?"

---

PART 6

Ro's apartment was farther out on the edge of town than I expected. I expected it to be a small, run-down place, but it was actually a pretty nice place. It was a studio apartment, but it wasn't a studio apartment that a struggling artist would have. It was a studio apartment for a guy who was doing pretty well for himself.

There were a couple of modern paintings on the walls, a big flat screen TV, a Nintendo Wii, a bunch of games, a mini fridge, a leather couch, a bunch of leather chairs, a bathroom, a kitchen, a bed, a couple of bookshelves, a few guitars, a bunch of movie posters, a bunch of framed pictures, a big pool table, a stereo, a couple of guitars, a table, a few lamps, a bunch of nice chairs that actually matched, a bunch of DVDs, a bunch of CDs, a bunch of games, a huge fucking fish tank.

"Nice place," I said.

"Thanks, man. It's not much, but I like it."

"It's a lot more than I expected."

"Well, I sell a lot of drugs."

"I guess you do."

"So, what do you want to do, Joe? Want to play some video games? Watch a movie? Listen to some music?"

"I'm okay, Ro. I'm okay. Let's just sit on the couch."

"Whatever you want."

He sat next to me on the couch, and I could smell cologne on him. I could smell it wafting off of his skin. I leaned back into the couch, and he leaned back into me. His arm was on the back of the couch, and I was resting my head on his arm. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and he pulled me closer to him.

"Joe?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"You know, you're the only guy I've ever kissed."

"What? I don't believe that."

He was still looking at me. He was still smiling that smile that made you think about dead bodies. He had this glow that I had never noticed before. It wasn't a glow that made you think about sunshine. It was a glow that made you think about a dark, dingy basement.

"What do you mean? You must have kissed a lot of guys."

"I've kissed a lot of guys, but I've never kissed a guy I was into."

"You weren't into me?"

"I was into you from the first time I saw you."

"When was that?"

"Three years ago. We were at a party, and you were with a really hot girl. She was wearing a black bikini, and she had a tattoo on her hip. It was a tattoo of a butterfly. I remember her. She was hot. But you were the one who caught my eye. You were wearing a red shirt, and you looked so fucking hot. I wanted to fuck you so bad."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because I didn't have the balls. I held back. I wanted to move in on you from the beginning, but I just couldn't do it. I didn't have the balls."

"I don't believe that."

"It's true. I'm a fucking pusher, Joe. I'm a real fucking badass. But I'm a fucking coward too. I'm a fucking coward when it comes to a guy I really like. I'm a fucking sucker. I'm a fucking pushover."

I was looking at Ro. I could see his face in the glow from the fish tank. I could see the glow from the fish tank reflecting in his eyes. I could see the little specks of green and blue and red and yellow light in his eyes. It was such a beautiful sight. His eyes were so beautiful. They were so beautiful that it broke my heart.

"Hey, Joe?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"What?"

"I love you."

I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know what to do.

"I know you love me, too," he said.

I didn't say anything. I was still looking at him. I could still see that glow reflecting off his eyes. It was such an amazing sight. I could feel his arm draped over my shoulders. I could feel his warm skin pressed against mine. I could feel his body pressed against mine like he wanted to merge into me. I could feel his lips pressed against my neck.

"Joe?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"Let's fuck now."

I can't say why I said yes to him. I don't know what possessed me to say yes to him. Maybe it was his eyes. Maybe it was the way he looked at me. I don't know what it was. I only know that I said "yes."

"Wait here," he said.

He got up from the couch, and I sat there alone. I was still staring at the fish tank. I was still looking at the glow reflecting off of his eyes. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I didn't know what I was thinking.

He came back with a little brown bag. The bag was full of pills. They were little orange, round pills. They were pills that started with "B." They were all uppers. They were pills that made you feel good, like your entire body was filled with positive energy.

I took one of the pills. I put it in my mouth and swallowed it down. I just took it. I didn't even ask him. I didn't even care what it was. I just did it.

He leaned over me, and he kissed me again. His lips were dry again. They still had that rough texture to them. I wanted to lick them, but I didn't. I just kissed him back. I wrapped my arms around him, and I pulled him closer to me. I could smell that cologne on him. I could smell his warm skin. I could smell that sweet smell with that hint of sweat. I was still staring at the fish tank, but I wasn't seeing the fish anymore.

We were kissing, and I was leaning on him. I could feel his skin on my skin, and I could feel his body pressed against mine. I could feel his body pressed against mine so hard. It was almost painful. It was almost more pain than pleasure. It was almost more pain than ecstasy.

"Want to take another pill?" he said.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't need it. One's more than enough."

"Then let's fuck."

"No."

I pushed him away, and he fell back into the couch. He sat there with his arms crossed. Outside I heard a man and a woman yelling at each other in the street. I heard a car horn honking, and I heard a dog barking. The dog was barking so loud, and it sounded so fucking vicious, but what was I going to do? I was too high to care.

Ro was staring at me. I don't know what he was thinking. I don't know what he was going to say. I didn't care. I didn't want to hear it.

"You know, Joe, I'm a fucking pusher."

"I know."

"I'm a fucking pusher, and I'm a fucking coward."

"I know."

"Then why won't you fuck me?"

"Because I don't like you."

"You what?"

"I don't like you. I don't like you at all. I thought you were hot, and I thought you were cute, but I don't like you. I don't like your face. I don't like your voice. I don't like anything about you."

"I don't believe that."

"I don't care if you don't believe that. It's true. I hate your fucking face. I hate everything about you."

He was still looking at me. He must have been so shocked. I was so shocked. I couldn't believe what I was saying. I couldn't believe what I was doing.

"Joe?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I ever got involved with you."

I got up from the couch. I was in a rush. I didn't want to be in that apartment anymore. I wanted to run.

I slammed the door behind me. I didn't say goodbye. I didn't look back. I just ran down the stairs and out into the street. I was still so fucked up. My body was still so pumped up. My body was so drunk on those pills, and I needed to run. I needed to run away from Ro. I needed to fucking run.

I was running. I was running so fast, and I was so pumped up. I was so high on those pills, and I didn't care about anything. All I cared about was running.

---

PART 7

I was supposed to meet Joe in the morning and I didn't have his cocaine, thanks to my little blow-up with Ro. I had to apologize to him, but I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't know how to apologize to him. I was so hysterical I could barely think. I was so confused. I was so stressed out.

I just stayed in bed all day. I just laid in bed with my eyes closed. I just wanted to be in my own world, but I couldn't. I just wanted to be asleep, but I couldn't. I was just staring at the ceiling, thinking about that blow up with Ro. I didn't know what to do. I had never been so confused in my life. I just wanted to be on my own. I wanted to be on my own.

I didn't know what time it was, but I heard a knock on the door. I opened my eyes and opened the door, and there was Joe. I let him in, and we went to the lounge. I put on some coffee. I was still half-asleep and groggy and confused. Joe didn't say anything to me. He just sat on the couch and stared out the window. He was so fucking hot. His body was gorgeous. I wanted to jump on him and kiss him and lick him and fuck him, but I couldn't.

He was such a fucking cunt. He didn't deserve that. He was such a fucking idiot. He didn't deserve that. I fucking hated him.

He was still staring at the window when I came in with the coffee.

He turned to me. "I don't need the cocaine anymore."

"What?"

"I don't need the cocaine anymore. I have all the cocaine I could ever want."

I put the coffee down on the table. I sat next to him. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you."

"Huh?"

"I'm talking about you. I don't need the cocaine anymore. I have you."

"W-what are you talking about?"

"You. I have you. I have all the cocaine I could ever want."

"What are you saying to me?"

"I'm saying that I want to be with you. I want us to be together."

"I can't leave Lisa", I said, even though I knew I would in a heartbeat.

"You don't have to leave her. We can all be together. I'll ask her. She'll understand."

"I don't want to be with her."

He turned to me. "What?"

"I don't want to be with her. I want to be with you."

He was staring at me. He was smiling at me. He reached over and he took my hand. He pulled me towards him, and he kissed me on the lips. We were kissing. We were kissing like that first day out by the tree. Lisa would be home soon but I didn't fucking care. I didn't care about anything.

I reached down and I unbuttoned his jeans. I pulled them down. I pulled down his briefs. I pulled down his boxers. I pulled out his cock.

I grabbed it with my hand, and I started to jerk him off. I was staring at his cock. I was staring at his cock up close, and I knew I was going to put it inside me.

He was smiling. "You're so good at that", he said, and I kept jerking off his cock.

He was staring at me. He was staring at me with his beautiful blue eyes.

"I'm going to fuck you", he said.

"Yeah", I said.

He was still staring at me. He leaned over, and he kissed me on the lips. I kept jerking his cock. He was kissing me on the lips so hard, so fucking hard, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted him to fuck me. The thought made my cock harder than ever before in my life.

I was so hard I thought I was going to explode.

He pulled away from me. He grabbed my hand, and he pulled me up off the couch. He led me to my bedroom. We fell onto the bed, on a pile of Lisa's clothes.

We rolled around on the clothes, wrestling with each other, kissing each other, kissing each other so hard, so fucking hard.

"I want you to fuck me", I said.

He smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He didn't say anything back to me. He just moved down my body, down my chest, down my belly, down to my jeans. He unbuttoned them, he unzipped them, he pulled them off. He pulled off my briefs. He started to kiss my cock.

I came.

I actually fucking came from that. I couldn't believe it. I came from a kiss on the cock.

He smiled. "You came", he said, and he started to lick up my come. He licked me clean. He licked me clean, he rubbed my come all over my cock, he rubbed my come all over my chest, he rubbed my come all over my belly.

We were covered in my come.

I was covered in my own come.

Then Lisa stepped through the door.