It was Better than Riding the Bus

"You can take another test if you want to," Kevin said as he used another biscuit to push the sausage and rice onto his fork. "But test says you the daddy."

"Okay," I said, feeling my stomach fall to my knees.

"So, we do a quick little service in our back yard; Mike? From next door? He's a deacon down at Our Lady of the Assumption," Kevin said, getting to his feet. "You got a suit? If not, we can get you one."

"I've got a suit," I said. "Wait! Wait one minute! You, you're talking, I'm, we're getting married?"

And that's pretty much how it happened. Unlike my sister Cheryl, Jackie didn't try to get away with wearing a white gown. With her auburn hair, the light green dress really did look pretty.

Knowing that Kevin meant it when he and I sat down over a couple of beers and he told me he would have me killed if I made his little girl cry, I meant every word of the vows that Mike had me recite. Looking into her big brown eyes, seeing that happy little smile on Jackie's face, I hoped she meant those words too. She swears she does mean those words.

Oh, I found out how Jackie bought that cheap ass beer; her cousin Quincy Blakely was at the wedding and told me he worked at the Quick Trip gas station. Jackie would come in, grab the beer and they'd pretend that she was showing him her ID and he would ring it up.

And I've got a job. A good paying job. I don't know what it is that we do in Kevin's office. The office is up in Marietta and I drive from our Marietta house to the office in my BMW and park in the spot that has 'Lott' painted on it. Then I sit at a desk and fuck around on a computer all day. I play video games, look at porn, look at crap to buy from EBay.

I'm teaching my wife how to fuck. Jackie actually gasped out loud, shocked when I made her get on top. Those big eyes looked like they really were going to fall out of her head. Next thing I know, she's bouncing up and down and hollering. Doggie style also made her holler.

Now that she saw that I might actually really know something she doesn't know? I mean, she still thinks she knows everything about everything, but maybe I might know something too. She agreed to let me lick her little honey pot. She even shaved it nice and smooth for my nasty and talented tongue. Her blow jobs suck. Yes, pun unintended. And anal sex is still not going to happen, even if she does like it when I jam my finger in there.

Another thing we both really like is when I sit her on my lap and just cuddle her. I just rub her back or her belly and tell her how pretty she still is, even though she's as big as a whale. She's not; she is showing; she's too skinny not to show, but she's not as big as a whale.

"Daddy's coming over," Jackie said as I got home from another grueling day at the office.

Okay, it really wasn't a grueling day at the office. The most strenuous thing I'd done all day was beat my meat looking at pregnant anal action on my computer. The more pregnant Jackie gets, the sweeter that ass looks.

"I'll get started on the biscuits," I smiled, hugging Jackie as tightly as her big old belly will let me.

"Said he's bringing his new girlfriend," Jackie said.

Kevin and Jackie's mom; I never heard her name, just 'that selfish, self-centered bitch' had divorced five years ago. She didn't bother coming to the wedding, just sent us this hideous salad bowl set. I made Jackie laugh when I told her we were re-gifting that nasty thing first chance we got.

"Hey, Daddy marries this one? We can give them the salad bowls," Jackie said, getting the canister of flour out for me. "And I got you that buttermilk stuff you use."

"That buttermilk stuff? You mean, uh, BUTTERMILK?" I teased her.

I about fell over when Kevin walked into our home with a smiling Miss Althea on his arm. With a smile, I told Jackie we were not giving them the salad bowls; I liked this girlfriend too much.

Oh, and I was right about Cheryl and Tony. He was one of them pussies can't stand to fuck a pregnant woman; shit, he couldn't even get it up for a blow job. But he could fuck a three hundred pound girl that worked down at the gas station around the corner from their trailer. Until she showed up knocked up too. Tony and Cheryl didn't even live together long enough for Tony to drive Cheryl to the hospital to have my nephew. My mother had to drive Cheryl to North Louisiana Medical Center in Ruston. And I'm sure my mother let Cheryl know how disappointed she was in Cheryl. How embarrassing it was for my mother. How thoughtless and inconsiderate Cheryl was for putting my mother through all of this. That's why I didn't invite my mother to my wedding. I didn't even get a salad bowl from her.

The End.