All Comments on 'It wasn't COVID'

He should use his spare time to get back in shape.

The forced adoption and the general 750 ruined the tale for me.

Decent. I hope the divorce papers state that she committed adultery - leave a nice big red flag for any one who wants to marry her in the future. Chance are she ended up living with her parents for awhile, and you can bet their relationship was damaged.

Nice story. AAA++

I like the pacing (750 words will do that), and the self deprecating humor. Nicely done. I hope this isn’t a ‘one-and-done’ story. Thanks much.

If I listed everything that's wrong about this it'd be longer than the story. From the usual BTB obsession with guns and violence, to the totally ridiculous forced adoption. Basically it was just wank fodder for brain dead neanderthals.

Only fault is the length of the story. And hey, butterball, the keto or carnivore diet will work for anyone. If I could stop drinking I would be sooo trim.

Good first story!

4

Good first effort! D

God doesn't hate you, sometimes life is just a bitch. Good 750. You are forgiven for your intentional word count faux pas.

Very good first effort

The MC is an idiot. Lose the weight, get in shape and start over. He can divorce her but he cannot make her give up her baby, especially when it is not his. So gets a baby and losses a fat husband. The other guy becomes the new husband. So unless he takes himself serious and works on everything, he will be sad and lonely

Nice first effort

Why make yourself out to be such a loser?

Good job…to some of your critics…here he has artistic license to be anything or anyone. Even sending the kid for adoption is within your realm of choices and no one can tell you shit about it! Here glocks don’t represent life with Bubba either! I wish I was a writer sometimes, probably wouldn’t need my therapist if I did.

Success, well done!

Great first effort! Hit my sweet spot. I loved the aside about how your assessment of your Glock didn't count towards the 750, very funny. Since I own mostly Rugers and S&Ws, I don't have a dog in that fight. The hubby reacted just the way I liked. Get the evidence, get the Glock, get his clothes, get the parents over to shame the wife, and divorce the wayward wench. I know that some of your readers would like to have him start sobbing, retching, and pleading with her not to leave him. Ah well, each to their own. Keep 'em coming!

The forced adoption made no sense given that he is not the father and her parents are its actual grandparents. Is not going to happen…

You are right about 750 word stories being difficult to write. They are even harder to pull off. You could have trimmed this a bit and lose the part about adopting out the baby. That would not be any of his business if it wasn't his. Calling the parents over was a nice touch though..

Not a bad first story.

The forced adoption would not go through, that is true but it does make sense from the protags point of view. The adulterer has been hopeful for a child and the requirement for adoption would be like a dagger to her non existing heart. No it would not go through but it would be an exclamation point on the opinion and state of mind of the man she betrayed. Symbolic yes but sometimes that is all we have. *****

Good story, but the forced adoption is impossible to get done.

Loved the story and I hope you keep writing! Thank you.

The baby/pregnancy/adoption thing seemed to detract from the tale for me. I think it was good enough to get the parents over with a white lie (she's now pregnant and seems wrong) and leave it at that.

Looking forward to your next story.

Good job writing this little ditty. Thanks for your writing.

Nice one particularly for a first effort. Keep ‘em coming.

5 stars

Thumbs up for your first one. 👍

His wife is part owner of the house, as such, her guest has every legal right to be there. Brandishing a firearm elevates hubbys actions to a felony and if I were the lover, I would have called the cops.

In less than 3 minutes, hubby would have been arrested, if not shot dead by paranoid police, your wife would have gotten everything, including your pension, you would be in prison and for what? Wanting to look like the big tough guy.

You be tough, I’ll be smart and banging your ex wife like a screen door in a hurricane while you’re getting fucked by the law courts, your lawyers, her lawyers, the judge, divorce court AND your cell mate: Bubba.

"The forced adoption and the general 750 ruined the tale for me."

This isn't your story. Ergo, nobody cares.

Um, what? Why would she give the baby (that she wanted so badly) up for adoption if he's divorcing her anyway??

For a first go, very, very well done.

Kudos for both for the commitment to sit down and write your story and for the courage to not only publish it but to publish it in LW.

You had a lot going on here for a 750.

In my humble opinion you could have spun this out to 3000 to 4000.

A little bit of character build here a little bit of emotion description there.

You could have put 750 words just into the airport cluster fuck and found a legion of fans.

My advice, if you want to publish 750 words, put 2000 on paper and find an editor.

Looking forward to more from you.

The forced adoption was too far...let her keep the baby with no child support from him. That way the "daddy" can pay for his mistake.

I have two questions for the author: 1) How did he know his wife was pregnant? Did she tell such an important news on the phone the day before? Then why didn't she also inform her parents? Or did the husband just come up with it to lure the parents, but it actually materialized? 2) It is not very clear - what does COVID have to do with it? Just a vague hint when, because of a suspicion of illness, he was not allowed on the plane? I specifically looked at the text again - COVID is mentioned only in the title and in the tags.

Wait! Did he adopt someone else's child and thereby punish Alice? Did I understand correctly? Please explain, since English is not my native language, I am sometimes not sure of the correctness of the meaning of the translation. Please just write: "Anonymous, Yes" or "Anonymous, No". I'll know then.

A little violence; photo; calling the police would have helped. Who can sit and wait 1/2 hour for the in laws to show up? Why it seems like they were only sleeping so how can he know that they had sez? A lot of loose ends, especially for a chubby guy.

Why the forced adoption if the couple were divorcing anyway? This makes no sense at all.

Yes it was a great story I’m still giving you 5 stars. The only thing that matters was the fact that this was them 750 words crap I really hate them because it tends to ruin what could be a superb story . And the fact that it normally turns the story into a confusing story. I know that you did your hardest to not make it complicated because of the 750 word. But judging by how you wrote this it clearly shows that you are a very talented writer but I would love it if you would write it like a proper BTB story and not a will this fit in the 750 word format. As I said you show a fantastic talent as a writer and I would love to read more from you in the future so please keep on writing these great stories but please stay away from the 750 words thing . This 750 word thing is the most annoying thing and stupidest thing I’ve seen because not only does it ruin great stories it ruins the reputation of the writers who try this silly gimmick. Sorry got sidetracked anyway keep up the great writing and I want to read more from yourself in the future but please stay away from the 750 words thing ok now hurry up and get writing more stories ok .

Very good first effort.

Nice. Hard to get a good read in 750 words but you did a good job.

Mechanics are fine. Having said that, if you keep writing, for the love of god, do a 180 on content. The last thing this site needs is yet another angry dude writing non-erotic, release-valve stories that punish imaginary women.

Great start! Looking forward to more.

Great first effort. Look forward to the next one

Not bad but the 750 word limit definitely hurt you for your first story. Loverboy needed some genital payback, maybe after he marries your ex but before he has a chance to give her another baby. Think vengeance, like your mentor! Or just become another wimpy cuck writer.

Really good story 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Not at all what I expected on L.

Good first effort and naturally a bit choppy and “matter of fact”. Always admire a writer who steps up. Thanks for sharing. BTRH

Story although the asshole got off to easy.

You lost me at forced adoption, sorry but learn something about laws before you write. In almost ever state if she names him as the father his is paying child support regardless of the DNA. Get over it. The courts only care about the kids welfare, not your ego. Second Glock's past Gen3 are crap and for pussies. Walther all the way, Sig second, 1911 is for grandpa.

Okay, but there's no way in hell for him to force an adoption. She's the mother and unless she's mentally ill in an institution, an alcoholic committed to rehab or in prison, she gets the baby. Other than that oversight, not a bad first effort.

Grandparents are going to agree to adopting out their grandchild? Please.

Ridiculous

Good first story.

5 stars - I really liked the part where he brought the sluts parents over to deal with her adultery and the added humiliation worked in his favour. Thankfully, just the threat of violence was incentive enough to hasten their departure.

Good first story.

Good work for a first effort. The adoption would have no legal force, but perhaps other sorts of pressure might me applied. If mom and dad refused to let her stay, or familial ostracism, etc,

Not bad for 750 words but the adoption thing didn't make any sense.

Kind of' stupid, "What if?" The baby was his (the husband's) DNA testing is a two edge sword, Wouldn't it kill the bytch if he got full custody ( I know, A snowball's chance in hell) but, that would drive a stake through her miserable heart (laugh now, cry later bytch).

Why would the MC force the baby's adoption? Make the asshole pay for 18 years and force her to be a single mom. I could understand the adoption if it was a criteria for trying to work things out, but it's not.

ORD … Your MC’s spherical shape is irrelevant, and detracts from any sympathy We-The Readers might have for the MC’s plight. Grinching about airport personnel is also stupid. It could be weather at the domestic flight airport or that at the connecting flight (and maybe 17 other reasons.)

Calling Sweetie’s parents was inspired (best part!) It was also good to delay Hubby’s return to home by having a connection snafu … but Hubby notifying Sweetie of the change shoulda been cleared, so a red-eye, which woulda also had Sweetie and Bull sleeping so no Sweetie checking Find My Phone.

3* and welcome to LW.

@Whackdoodle. It does not matter if the wife invited the man or not. You can still kick him out. YOU can invite a person into your house and then tell them to leave. If they do not, they are trespassing. You can;t shoot them for that of course, but you can if they attack you and you"fear for your life". Yeah, you are likely to get charged if you fire a gun unless you have compelling justification.

@ Karnevil. Yeah, you think guns are the devil's tool and some people here are obsessed with them. Bet you are one of those guys who believe somebody should stand up put up his fists and 'fight like a man', too.. If the guy is bigger than you, take the beating. Most people who carry do not do so to shoot somebody. They do it to keep their own ass intact.

Not a bad little story, especially for a first effort. The writing didn't have many faults, but the short sentences were a bit too choppy for me. Use more compound sentences would be my advice.

A couple of plot comments. When you called mom and dad, readers couldn't tell if it was the MC or the wife's..would have been better if you indicated that when mc calls

The pregnancy thing was problematic. When he calls the parents you think it is a ruse, then suddenly it is for real. That should have been in the exposition...or is it he doesn't know, but throws that out there&,it happens to be true?

Why would he force the adoption? Unless he planned on staying with her, why would he care?

750 word stories are hard, bc you lose a lot of context.

Good effort for your first. I was confused if she was really pregnant when he told the parents. Why make her put it up for adoption if he’s not gonna keep her? Good start hope to see more from u

Good first effort. Keep writing and you'll be even better over time.

5 ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Thx’s for the 1911 comment - I concur.

Hope for another effort, soon…..

Thx’s (In advance)

I pack a 1911 .45acp that I am very deadly with. But I also have a couple of Glocks, they always work. So 5 stars to the new writer. Great Story, Great writing, and Great Effort. Great Idea. Good Job my friend. Now do another. Thinking of New Ideas, then remembering them later, when you can write, is the challenge. Buster2U

3 stars. The last sentence or two detract from the story.

Not a bad first go. Carry a VP9 myself. Only critique pb Whiskey....ugghhh. Looking forward to the next one.

That story struck a cord - could have been me many years ago.👍

A good setup and start, but the ending left much to be desired.

It wasn't just rushed from trying to hit 750 words but, like others have said, the adoption bit was unrealistic and not nearly as clever as you seem to think it was.

Not bad. Three stars.

Divorce, even one sided? Okay.

Adoption, no way he can force that outcome. Regardless of marital status or who the sperm donor may or may not be. Best he could hope for there is not his kid, no support obligation.

I don't care what kind of a divorce settlement he's holding over her head, no way is she giving up the baby, and no court is going to punish her for keeping the baby

Liked the storyline. I thought the side comments, which I guess were meant for humor, wound up breaking up the story flow. Just tell the story and make comments after the story's end.

Understand the adoption tact was a dig at the cheating spouse. I don't know if it is legal since women's reproductive rights have a large sway in family courts. But like the sentiments.

As for going after the scumbag, I understand the commenters wanting a pound of flesh. On the other hand, the scumbag did the MC a favor. The MC would have assumed the kid was his if it weren't for slut getting caught. Instead scumbag being there alerted MC that the wife is a cheating slut which casted doubts on MC's parentage of the kid wife is carrying. So the DNA test makes sense since fatherhood is assumed to be the husband.

Overall, it's a decent story. The prose was a little clunky. Recommend the author utilize some beta readers who can give pointers. Don't get stuck on the 750 word limit unless it is a 750-word special event. Tell your story and if it goes beyond 750 words, so be it. Another tactic is to sit on the story after it is finished for at least a month. Hopefully, that will allow the author to take a fresh look at the story. Authors can be amazed what they read from fresh perspective both good and bad.

I saw this story as 4 stars the way it is written. Since it was a first posting, I added an extra star with an encouragement to keep on writing.

Keep this story going. It's got great possibilities. Love the Inn laws. Let's rule out asshole as swengali who blackmailed her.

You did great.

B for mechanics, D for story. One can't force a woman one is divorcing to give up her child for adoption. Write what you know.

Retired Army so if anyone wants to pack, 1911A1 will provide all the protection, and enjoyed this story. A good story. DerMTMan j

This was OK on the techniques and the methods, but rather short on the most important part of a Loving Wives story: why was she fucking around on him? If she wanted a baby so badly why did she marry a man she didn't respect, rather than marry the man she wanted as the father? And why give up the baby for adoption? What does she care what the moron cuck thinks or wants. Hell, she's has apparently been in love with another man for months, getting her brains fucked out and knocked up, and her husband had no clue? You didn't even bother to tell us who the asshole is, and if he's the father of her child. Wouldn't that be rich?

Anyway any start is a good start. Hope future work is more dramatic, suspenseful, and tells the whole story.

750 words too many.

Very well done considering it's a first story.

Thank you.

No background story. Heck, not hardly any foreground story. It ended before it got started. 2 stars

A great first effort.

Keep up the good work.

@Karnevil, and anyone else who holds an objection to firearms...

I am not American. I do not have the freedom to possess one.

But it was Alexander Hamilton who said "The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed".

I believe that. I believe that if it was not for the American constitutional right to bear arms, then the political quagmire that is the United States right now, would be NOTHING compared to what it would be if they did not have that right.

In my country, Australia, the politicians run riot over our rights and it's getting worse by the day. Our politicians do not fear the people.

I think this scales down to personal levels. Not everyone is blessed with superior athletic ability, or have lived their life learning the art of self defence. Obviously, this character fits that description.

As long as a gun is used defensively, or used as an instrument to protect one's interests but done so in honour, then they are a good thing.

Without them, those who have lost the genetic lottery, and those who's position is one of disadvantage, have no recourse. They level the playing field. Both sides may be armed and a bad outcome may result, but at least the underdog has a fighting chance.

In my opinion, the fact that the American public retains this freedom actually keeps much of the WORLD in line. If you left it up to the politicians, by now we would already be lost.

Good work! I look forward to your next story. 5 stars!

Very good for a first story (here, anyway). Looking forward to reading more of your craft. Nice job!

He could not force her to give her baby up for adoption. That made no sense. He certainly could disclaim paternity, but having the unrealistic payback of a mother forced to give up her child did not work, at all.

The guy was fat with a foxy wife. Sorry but not sorry he got what he deserved. Allowing yourself to become fat is a passive aggressive act of violence, shows complete disrespect and deserves a sad lonely life.

@Gamblnluck Actually it would seem that most people keep guns so they can either get shot by them or their kids can kill themselves or someone else. The image of a gun owner being this brave skilful professional is so far from reality that it's just not funny.

Do not go to the gym, that's for cucks and people that like looking at men's packages in the showers.

Fitness and weight control is down to eating habits and general activity levels.

It’s God’s love that is revealing the hidden things done by evil people around you.

Remember to turn to the Lord in times of trouble. He wants a relationship with you,

Original and hella funny!

Genuflecting before Colt 1911 is like wearing a religious symbol honoring the genius of John Moses Browning, the greatest firearms inventor in history. When you grow up, OP, you'll understand.

To anonymous who targeted @Karnevil.

You are a complete fucking idiot. You want to live in a country over run by guns and idiots who show how manly they are by carrying ARS to the shops, go live there. I’ll take the freedom to be free of the fear that there will be another mass shooting in the time it takes to read this. Somebody gets stabbed in OZ and it makes the news. America is way down the.list when it comes to personal freedom, education, voting rights and comparative poverty levels. What freedoms have our pollies taken from you?

? Please explain? For non Australians that’s what the idiot leader of a right wing dipstick party said when she was called xenophobic.

Wasn't worth wasting time reading or the so-called 750 words space.

You are completely right. God hates each and everyone of us. Definitely round is a shape

I gave a dislike because the story was to short.

I gave dislike because he just needs to go to the gym. lol

Good story. A little different is always appreciated

I loved what you did with her mom and dad, Nice touch and difficult to accomplish with a 750 word restriction. Unless you actually try to write a full story in 750 words, you will not appreciate the challenge. This has potential for a much longer story, if you ever get the desire to continue. 5 Stars and a great effort. I'm looking forward to more stories from OffRoadDiesel!

Nice and neat.

Parents a unique and great scene. Short and sweet. Next story write it longer, but wait and think pf another hook that isn't cheaters tripe.

I don’t write fiction so have no idea of the constraints involved with av750 word max story. I did enjoy this one and would eco Cindy’s thoughts that a longer more filled out version would be very enjoyable.

Second reading: not bad for a rookie author. Upped 1 star to Average.

Nice first story especially in condensed form. Love to see another

A pretty good story for a newbie, especially considering it is in one of the toughest forms to do well - 750 words !

All things considered, 4 stars for this one, and I'll hope to see more from you... but it won't always be this "easy" for the stars !

LOL...