It's for the Best Ch. 01-04

"Of course not, that is disgusting."

"That's what I'm talking about. Right there, you started to think like a man, and it was disgusting to think about being with a guy. But if I said that Bob and Hawk thought you looked sexy in that dress you wore yesterday and that Hawk really likes you, that wouldn't bother you like Olivia, correct?"

"No, it wouldn't and that's weird."

"Honey, when you dress as Olivia, you become her. You are Olivia and you will do things that Olivia would do, not my husband. When you're Olivia, I also will do things that I would do with my girlfriend, and not my husband, like going home with a cute guy and leaving you with a handsome man. Do you understand now? When you're my girlfriend, Olivia, you are my girlfriend. Not my husband. I expect you to think and act like her and yesterday you did exactly that and I'm proud of you."

"I guess I get it, a little."

"Well in time, it will become natural for you, and I bet after yesterday you will want to spend even more time as Olivia. That Hawk was gorgeous, and you made a cute couple. Now, no more small talk, what happened after Bob and I disappeared."

"Oh my god, it was intense. He was so sweet as he took me to view the bay and kissed me several times as he held me in his strong arms. I was so confused but after the third kiss I didn't think anymore just reacted like the girl I was portraying."

"That's hot. I would have loved to have seen that. What else happened?"

"After we got your text, he took me to the garden area where we sat and talked for hours about things we liked, and just had a nice conversation. I felt close and attracted to him and we kissed several times while we sat there. Then it was time to leave, and he drove me home and that's when I got nervous."

"Why were you nervous?"

"Maybe because I wanted to spend more time with him or maybe because your text said he knew my secret? What was I to think? When we got to the house, I didn't know what to do and just reacted and said, 'would you like to come in for some coffee?' Of course, he accepted, and I realized that I just let this handsome man into our house, and he knew you were going to be with Bob all night. I was so scared and didn't know what to do."

"OK, so what did you do?"

"He went to the bathroom to shower and clean up and I put on a pot of coffee. As I was reaching up to get the cups out of the cabinet, he came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. I panicked and turned to face him as we kissed again. I wanted to kiss him but at the same time all the feelings of guilt and doing things without you there, came back."

"Wow, that's hot. Did you kiss him back?"

"Well yes, he took me to the couch and we kissed and kissed and he even put my hand on his hard cock. I didn't know what to do and something told me to just stroke it a little and maybe he would be happy. So I did. I rubbed his cock as we kissed, and I could tell he was turned on.

I had to stop him, or I knew things would get out of hand and I wasn't sure what secret he knew. Did he know about me? What if he didn't and found out, he would kill me but then I realized that you wouldn't put me in that position, and I took a chance.

As he was trying to take off my dress, I stopped him and said, "Hawk, we probably shouldn't do this, you don't know me, and I think we should slow down. He smiled and continued to undo my zipper and said he knows all about me and my secret is safe with him."

"How did you feel right at that moment?" she asked.

"Frightened and excited. I let him take off my dress as it fell to the floor. My enlarged clit was visible under the control of my pantyhose, and he didn't flinch. He rubbed my breast and told me to take off his pants. I knew at that point that he would be spending the night in our bed, and somehow, I was turned on about being with him that way. I didn't care anymore because this big handsome guy found me sexy and desirable. I can't explain the feeling, but it was amazing."

"Don't stop there, little one. Did you take off his pants?"

"Yes, but not at that moment. I made him stop and I put my dress back on and said, if you spend the night, we can continue this in bed. Would you like to spend the night?"

"Wow, you are a little slut. Tell me what happened."

"Of course, he said yes, but it was now around 8 PM. I excused myself to get cleaned up and he ordered a Pizza because he was hungry. I had him order me a salad and took a shower, shaved again, and redid my makeup while he watched TV downstairs. I didn't want him to see me with any facial hair because it had been over 12 hours since I shaved last. I wanted to look good for him and put on some clean lingerie and your red silk robe. I hope you don't mind, but it's so sexy."

"I don't mind at all, and I'll be sure to buy you one of your own. What then?"

"After I felt that I looked better I walked down and sat next to him on the couch. He immediately put his arm around me and held me as we watched a baseball game. The delivery guy dropped off the food and I prepared the table and called him when things were ready. He came up and had his pizza as I ate my salad and then said he wanted to take another shower. I cleaned up and it was now about 9:30 when he came back down wearing only his underwear. I was taken aback when I saw his massive chest and big muscles. Hawks is ripped and very sexy."

"Yes, I like your description and it's what I expect from my girlfriend. You see, as Olivia this is normal, and you should get used to feeling and thinking like this baby. What's next, did he spend the night?"

"We talked for a while on the couch as he held me next to his almost naked body. I finally took his hand and led him up to our bedroom. I sat on the bed and lowered his shorts and released his wonderful cock. Yes, I did all that and I loved every moment.

Still, in your robe and lingerie, he stood me up and removed your robe and after some foreplay, he threw me down on the bed. I won't say much more about what happened next, but what I will say is that I now know what it feels like to be loved by a man and feel him deep inside you. I leaked all night into my panties and held him close as we slept."

"Olivia, I didn't know what to expect but I knew he found you attractive. Hawk thanked Bob for setting this up and I read his text to Bob that said that he really liked being with you. I'm so happy for you, baby. Sometimes girls wait years to find a guy like that and like I said you two make a cute couple."

"He left early but kissed me while I was still sleeping. I heard him say that he will give me a call this week, and he hopes to see me again soon. What do I do now?"

"Good question. What does Olivia want to happen?"

"I don't know. To be honest, I loved being with him but I'm not sure what to do."

"I have to tell you Olivia when we first started dressing you up, I never expected things to go this far and in fact, I never even thought about having you in a dress let alone become my girlfriend. But when I saw how perfectly feminine you looked, I had to help you become the girl and you've kept hidden all these years. I think you should continue to live out your feelings, and remain as Olivia as often as you like, and continue to see Hawk as long as possible. You never know when things end, or you don't get a chance like this again."

"You don't mind your husband dating another man?"

"Have you been listening? My husband is NOT dating another man. My girlfriend Olivia will be dating another man and I want her to do things that make her happy, just like I know she wants me to continue to see Bob or any other guy I desire."

"I understand, Dani. I'll give it some thought this week. Now, what about you? As soon as Hawk took me to the Bay you two disappeared."

"Well, Bob knew that Hawk wanted time alone with you and he took me to the garden area. Just like you, we sat and talked for about an hour. Just like you, I liked being with him too. He makes me feel so special and feminine and he's so handsome I get wet just thinking about him. We both knew we wanted to be alone and decided to go to his place to spend some time together. That's when we texted you to tell you we were leaving.

He took me to his place, and baby it's amazing. I'll have to take you up there sometime, maybe on a double date with Hawk. Anyway, the view was great, and we had some wine. He put on some romantic music, and we danced for over an hour, kissing, and rubbing each other the entire time.

At around 7 PM he took my hand and led me to his bed, and we fucked for at least 2 hours. He was insatiable and must have cum in me at least 4 times. My pussy was so full of his cum, that I had to put a tampon in to stop the leaking, so I know exactly how you felt last night with Hawk. Bob is a real man and very much an Alpha Male. He knows what he wants, and he knows how to make love to a woman. It might be the best sex I've ever had, he's unbelievable and his cock is huge and filled up as I've never experienced."

My alter ego was crushed, and I knew that when I was not in my Olivia mode those words would be stinging and hurting my feelings but right now as Olivia, I understood her feelings.

"Wow, he does sound amazing and if he makes you feel that good you must see him again."

"I'm so happy you understand because I need to be with him again. I need that cock and his strong arms; I'm getting hot thinking about him again. Let's go to bed and fool around, I'm horny again."

We both were at a heightened sexual level and quickly jumped on each other. I kissed her all over and she had me lay down as she climbed on my face. "I'm sure there's some of his cum still in me baby and I know how you like it, so please clean me up again."

I did and yes, I tasted his cum as she had several orgasms. I climbed on top of her and started making love again.

"Are you my girl, Olivia?" she asked.

"Yes, Dani."

"You're not going to leave me for Hawk, are you?" she teased.

"No baby, I'm all yours. You're not going to leave me for Bob, are you?"

"Of course not, he's just a good fuck."

"Did you like taking Hawk's cock up your virgin pussy?"

"Yes," I answered

"So, you're not a virgin any longer, are you?"

"Not after last night."

"Welcome to womanhood baby. I'm so happy for you. Did you like sucking his cock?"

At this point in our conversation, I was so hard and ready to come that when she made that last comment I exploded inside her and it was the strongest climax I ever had."

"Wow, I've never seen you come so much honey. Did you get to come with Hawk?"

"No, I was more or less just his receptacle. He didn't seem to care about me that way once he came," I answered.

"Typical guy. All they want to do is deposit their sperm and split. I'm sorry that happened but girls get used to that and find other ways to relieve themselves. Our job is to keep them happy and satisfied and if we get lucky, they'll make sure we're satisfied. It's too bad you didn't orgasm from your pussy, that's one thing I have an advantage over you because when Bob fucks my pussy, I come all the time. The good news is that I'm here to take care of your needs baby, even if the guys don't. Remember, I'm your girl and I love you, baby."

We lay there cuddling for thirty minutes when Dani got up to go to the bathroom. When she returned, she had another gift-wrapped present in her hand when she got into the bed.

"This is for you, and I think the timing is perfect," she said, handing me the flowery gift wrapped gift."

"You keep buying me gifts and I haven't gotten you anything, I feel bad Dani."

"Don't honey, I'm sure you will but right now I want you to open this."

I found a beautiful journal. The book had a lace cover with pink and yellow flowers on each page. It was ultra-feminine and something I would expect from Dani.

"Thanks, Dani, it's beautiful. What is it for?" I said knowing it was a journal.

"It's a journal, silly. I thought it would be nice for you to write your thoughts and feelings down when you're Olivia, especially in these early days so that when you look back you can remember all these fun times and new feelings.

For example, you just had your first experience going out in public, double dating with me, and spending the night with a gorgeous man. I want you to put your memories down on paper and detail your feelings. You just had a man make love to you, but you didn't offer any details and I know you're holding back and it's important you tell them to someone and for now, it will be your journal. Every night when you are Olivia, I want you to spend at least twenty minutes writing down all your thoughts and feelings of that day. Trust me, this will help you cope and remember things that you otherwise would forget.

So, right now, I want you to lay here and start with your first time out as Olivia when we went to the movies and I want you to detail your day and sleepover with Hawk, in great detail and be sure to describe how it made you feel at the time. Do you understand?"

"I understand, and it might be good to get all my feelings out of my head and on paper."

"Exactly why I want you to do this. I think when you read what you wrote down you will have a new understanding and new realization of your inner feelings and thoughts."

I sat up in bed and started writing everything that had happened and how I felt, I found it very therapeutic as I was able to express all of my feelings out of my head. It gave me relief and a better acceptance of the things that were troubling me lately.

It was getting late, and Dani fell asleep, but I was hooked and couldn't stop writing. It was like a data dump and as if I was cleaning out my hard drive on my computer.

My Journal

The first sentence I wrote was, "How did I get here?" Then I just started writing what came into my head. Since I'm going to be completely honest as I write this, then I have to say that I have never been happier. The changes I've made have given me a new look at life and helped me uncover feelings that I've kept hidden deep inside.

Did Danni force me to do any of this? No, all she did was give me a chance, to be honest, and allow me to blossom and for that, I am forever grateful.

Did Dani abuse me or make me dress and become Olivia? Absolutely not. I knew at that very moment, all I could do say was no and put a stop to things and since I'm being completely honest, I realized how much I wanted to become Olivia once I understood she was OK with it and encouraged me to continue.

What about Bob and Dani, how does that make me feel? At first, I was jealous, but now I understand that she needs that type of attention in her life, and it has no impact on our love or marriage. I understand her needs and now I just want her to be happy and feel complete. If that means having a fuck buddy, then so be it. If Danni can give me the love and understanding she is currently giving me, then I'll support her in all of her desires because we have that strong a bond.

Well, here's the big question. How do I feel about the entire Hawk thing? Well, since I said I would be honest here, I love it. At that moment, when Dani allowed me to experience this, I knew I could turn and leave or give it a try. I never admitted it but when I saw Bob and Hawk and realized that Dani set up a double date for us, I was excited. Let me explain that a little more.

When I was walking next to Dani at the resort and observed several guys looking at us, smiling and flirting at us, my confidence soared. I was so ecstatic about being dressed that way, feeling so feminine, and being accepted that I actually became Olivia at that moment. I felt my brain thinking like a girl and completely got into my role as Dani's girlfriend. When we were introduced as girlfriends to Bob and Hawk, I became her girlfriend, in my mind. I was Olivia and I loved being her.

I continued and thought about things and wrote; I need to go back to how this all started and describe how I felt when I first told Dani at the beach about my experience with pantyhose and panties when I was young. I need to express just how good it felt to tell someone after all these years. The only person that ever knew about this was my sister but that was over 10 years ago and long forgotten.

I continued to write down my feelings and how I always admired women that wore pantyhose, and how it would feel to be the girl wearing them. I wrote how I fantasized about being the girl, wearing a short skirt and pantyhose with high heels but I would never admit my thoughts to myself or anyone else. I wrote about how I kept those feelings deep inside and controlled them and only occasionally let them surface.

Being able to share these feelings with Dani was a big relief, especially since she was so understanding and supportive. I never dreamed of a time that I would wear pantyhose again. The night she had me wear her pantyhose during sex gave me a euphoric feeling I had never imagined. When Dani offered to dress me up as her girlfriend, I felt excited because it was something I must have wanted deep inside. I can still feel the excitement from that night. I was afraid to admit how much I desired to dress up with her because I never would want her to think less of me, however, Dani was amazing and seemed to enjoy dressing me that way, even more than I could imagine.

I always hesitate to tell her how good I feel when I'm Olivia, and how sad I am Monday morning when I have to dress back in my male clothing. I can never tell her that because I still want to be her husband, and I'm not sure how she would feel if I stayed dressed that way. She has been loving and attentive since our vacation and I don't want anything to change. She has shown me so many wonderful new feelings that I just want to make her happy, even if it means sharing her with other men.

That day on the beach when Dani told me her fantasy about other men, I felt insecure and jealous, however, when she explained that it was something she desired, I wanted her to feel the way she made me feel - as a way of giving back the satisfaction she had given me. I understand now that she only wants that attention when I'm Olivia and living as her girlfriend. Somehow when I become Olivia it makes complete sense.

She made me realize and learn to truly understand how to think and feel feminine. When I'm Olivia, I actually become female in my thoughts and feelings and when I do I feel and become a different person.

I realize that once I'm in dresses, heels, and makeup everything changes. I become much more relaxed and don't let anything bother me. I lose the desire to be in charge and enjoy the submissive feelings I have. Olivia enjoys feminine things, conversations, and living in the moment as a female. When I'm Olivia and we discuss Bob or other men, I now actually think differently and encourage her to live out her desires with Bob or anyone else, knowing that she will always be mine. My jealousy and worries disappear whenever Olivia is alive and with her.

Writing all of my thoughts down here is a great relief and also helps me to understand more of my deeper feelings. Putting my thoughts on paper helped me understand my desire to dress and spend more time as Olivia.

I couldn't stop putting my thoughts down into the journal, and when I finally got to my time with Hawk, I noticed that I started getting aroused. Since I was still in my nightgown and panties, I realized that I was in my Olivia mode and justified my feelings about being with a man, like Hawk.

I started the next page about how I felt when we were at the table, and Hawk told me how pretty I was that morning. I remember how I tingled and wanted to smile at his compliment, but I was still struggling with the guilt I was trying to suppress.

Maybe it was the champagne, or just becoming comfortable as Olivia, but I liked the compliment and being pretty to such a handsome guy.