It's Only Sex

It's Only Sex

It was only sex, I told myself after my husband's partner asked me if I would ever consider an affair. It wasn't love. I knew I was kidding myself, but I rationalized it thoroughly, deciding I would not be violating my oath because I still loved my husband and was dedicated to the marriage. If I could involve myself in recreation that he didn't, couldn't I enjoy something he no longer did. He was simply too busy for something so unimportant, so trivial as sexual intercourse.

I still yearn for it. Isn't his denying me part of that pledge? Didn't he have some responsibility to hold up his end? He is a good provider, in most ways a good husband, and has given me all I could asked for except that one thing I miss so terribly. Sexual intimacy. Before Jake asked me about having an affair I had thought about it, fantasized about the mechanics of going through with it, the bawdy details, the juicy essentials of fucking someone else to give what I hungered for.

I ran through scenarios in my head. Imagined what it would feel like, what I would allow myself to do and what I wouldn't. I pictured different men I knew in bed, thought of what they would like, what they would do well, and what I would want. I imagined what they would look like naked, what their masculine "gifts" would be, how big each was, how I could take them, if he would make me come, which I had not for years.

I haven't been a person to think about sex very often, until I didn't get it anymore, and now I think of it constantly. It is an obsession now, but a funny thing happened after the company hired a new office manager. Her name is Heather and she is gorgeous. She is tall, blond, well-educated, and as sexy as a person can be. Since she was hired, I could think about nothing but her. Somehow I thought that sex with another woman would not be as unforgivable as a married woman having it with a man, but that was not the reason I thought of her so much. She was absolutely the sexiest person I had ever been within arms length of and I wanted to be closer than that.

Heather's smile could make my panties wet with one glance. To smell her perfume in the room would almost bring on an orgasm, which, as I said, I hadn't had for years. Eventually I dreamed of Heather constantly. I had difficulty during the day keeping my mind on work, and finally I told Jake I could never be unfaithful to my husband, all the while thinking of ways to entice Heather into my bed.

I watched her to see signs, to decide whether she would ever agree to be with another woman. I watched her move, loved to watch her glide through a room, see her bend to pick up her purse, or to turn to slide into a car seat. I began to see her nude when I closed my eyes, whether she was around or not.

I had never thought of other women sexually before, but now I thought of them constantly, although it was Heather who took up most of my waking hours. At night I would put my finger between my labia and I would rub over my clitoris with a finger or two in my pussy. I had never called it my pussy until I became obsessed with Heather. Right next to my husband at night I would masturbate to thoughts of Heather and me in passionate, panting sex and long, sensuous orgasms.

I didn't think anyone could tell, but one day Jake asked me outright if I had "thrown him over for Heather." I was flustered and must have been totally inarticulate because I said something like, "What are you talking about? She is another woman. What are you saying about me?" But all the time I am thinking how I should be careful not to let people see how I felt. 

Eventually Heather and I were assigned to the same contract. I wondered if Jake, who made the assignments had done it purposely, to see if it would reveal itself. Over the next few weeks Heather and I spent a great deal of time together. I had always thought of myself as heterosexual, never considering anything else, but with Heather around I realized I was at least bisexual because every thought I had of her was strictly carnal and sensual, imagining every position, situation, and love making activity.

My pussy constantly tingled with her in the room, and I would get lightheaded at her touch. Was it less unfaithful to have sex with a woman if you were a married lady? I didn't care. I don't ever remember wanting anything so much in all my life as wanting Heather's lips on mine or her tongue flicking across my pussy lips. When I dreamed of her she always made me come, in fact she nearly made me come by touching my back, which she did often as we stood together at the work table.

I wondered what she would feel if she knew how I felt about her. Would she be sickened, appalled, offended, outraged? Would she stop speaking to me? I feared knowing.

It was after a long day together we went for coffee and sat side by side in the Starbucks. We each ordered and found a table. I told her it was a pleasure working with her. She stop talking, put down her cup of cappuccino, leaned across the table, right in front of everyone in Starbucks, and kissed me. At that moment I lost all inhibitions, all hesitancy, all concern that there were other people in the room. My lips stayed on hers for a long time as I savored the touch and warmth of her mouth on mine. 

When her tongue touched mine I reciprocated, sucking on hers with total abandon. I did not care that anyone saw us, in fact I relished the thought that others could see. After we finally broke away, moving only a few inched apart, she said, "I have wanted to do that for a month." 

"You have? I have dreamed about it," I said. "I have pictured that in my head, I have felt your lips against mine," I said. "But I want more."

"Thank God," she said, and kissed me again. We stayed close, breathing one another's air. "I want you," she finally said, ignoring the others in the Starbucks. She put her hand to my face, against my cheek. I put mine over hers. We sat there looking at one another, feeling alone in the crowded coffee shop. 

Finally, she said, "Will you come to my place, today?"

"I will die if I don't," I said. "I have been lusting after you since you were hired."

"I didn't know you were... " She paused.

"I wasn't. I didn't know either, until you arrived," I said. "Now you are all I think about. Jake asked me if I'd... You know, but when you came I told him no. I didn't say why, but it was you. Oh, God, yes, I will come with you. I want to feel your lips again. Everywhere. On every part of me."

"That sounds heavenly," she said. 

We left the Starbucks in my car and drove straight to her house. Inside she began undressing me, starting with my jacket, my blouse, then my skirt, my panties, then she stood back and looked at me, sighed and removed my bra, kissed my nipples, then laid me back on her bed.

Heather moved between my legs and spread them with her forearms. She had been with women before, and she knew her way around a pussy. 

When her tongue touched my labia I jumped, feeling for the first time the touch of a woman's tongue on my sex. I never had felt anything as good as the soft, feather-light touch of an other woman's genital kiss. Heather's kiss was heavenly, and I gasped. I put my hands on top of her head and pulled face against my puffy slit. 

She ate me like a pro, like a loving dove giving me wonderful moments of oral delight. I had dreamed of the moment and the feel of her actual lips were better than the dream. I felt her tongue reach into me and I begged her not to stop.

More than anything, even though I was in such a fantastic state by feeling her mouth on my pussy, I longed to taste her and give her what she had given me so fantastically.

After she made me come with a shout, we traded places and I positioned myself, for the first time ever, in front of the pussy of another woman. I slid my tongue the length of her, tasting her tangy goodness and swallowing what I could. I had never been at the pussy of another woman and Heather tasted wonderful. After I ate her for another twenty minutes we moved up so our faces were together and we began kissing and sharing tongues.

"For a woman who has never tasted pussy before, you seem to know what you are doing," she said.

"Somethings just come natural," I said. I held her and felt no regret, no guilt or worry about having sex outside of my marriage. It did not matter whether it was with a man or woman, but the need for sex was the issue. I held her and we snuggled until we fell asleep. It was the next morning when we awoke and I kissed Heather and dressed, then drove home to tell my husband what decision I had come to.

I had decided to tell him about Heather, about my new orientation, and to see if he wanted to end the marriage or stay married and just allow me the space to be me. When I told him he took it rather well, saying he had not been a very good husband, apologizing for ignoring my sexual needs, but he did not want to divorce.

He wanted to stay together and let me be with Heather as much as I needed. When I told her she was thrilled. We decided I would stay with her three nights a week and move to our guest bedroom. Why do that? Because he and I were friends who cared for each other, but he didn't need sex and we would keep things the way they were regarding what we owned together and Heather would be able to keep her friends she was intimate with. It was a new way of thinking for me, but the love of a woman and sex with her was what I wanted.

The people at work seemed to handle it well, and those who didn't we did not care about. Times have changed enough that our relationship was pretty much accepted as a whole. We held hands each day as we left work and we kissed openly.

The only person who seemed really bothered by my relationship with Heather was Jake, but that just makes me glad I did not accept his proposition in the first place.

The whole thing with Heather was a complete surprise to me, and I am blown away by how things turned out. Being with a woman is an incredible thing for me, especially when I had no idea who was inside of me.

The first time I made love to Heather I knew it was right for me. I guess I am actually bi, but from now on I will be with a woman and most likely it will be Heather. It is who I am and I who I now want to be. Forever.