All Comments on 'Jack and Diane'

A.little out of my wheelhouse , but a interesting story just the same.

Literally a very far reaching RAAC! I care less for RAAC stories, but did give you a two.

. . . but it needed more character development and fleshing out. 4

Thank you for it. 5

It's solid in every aspect except the plot line itself.

You have creatures that can change time and space, but are bound by the fates?

You have creatures that obey the rule of free will, but both agree to strip a woman of her free-will and body switch her out for our Diane....cuz...reasons?

The internal logic of your world is crumbling around you. Did I enjoy the concept, the dialogue, the emotions? Yes. But when the immersion goes *poof* it's a jarring thing.

Maybe to fix your dilema you can add the woman in question has herself agreed to be killed earlier than planned, to end her affair and spare THAT other husband some pain. It'd be consistent with your world's logic.

Interesting juxtaposition with Sci-Fi/Fantasy. Ellen deserved more of a back story given she was in the epilogue.

Well written but could use an editor.

We make mistakes and have to live with the consequences....good and bad. People cheat and all for different reasons but while men need a place, women need a reason.

Good story but it was stereotypical.

Nice supernatural tale

"for him there was no other choice"

Jack looked Angelica in the eyes and said earnestly, "So... how hot is my second wife and where do I meet her?"

And the cheating bitch burned on Lucifer's pitchfork for all eternity.

FTFY

Ellen was Jacks girlfriend who he had been porking for years. Diane found out and in her misery, drove her car into a fast moving freight train.

To the commenter(s) who criticizes the reconciliation, the thing that distinguishes a justifiable reconciliation from a RAAC is deep repentance. In this plot, no erring wife could possibly show profound repentance more clearly that Diane did. It's fantasy, but taken on its own terms, I don't see how any one could cavil about the reconciliation.

Deserves a higher score.

Okay, the supernatural bit was a unique twist, but the wife getting older turning to a younger man foe validation has been done to death. The idea that hubby's compliments don't mean anything because he "has" to say them is lame, especially because lover boy's compliments mean LESS because he's only saying them to get into her pants!

The wife also never considers that hubby might be feeling older too, would she forgive HIM if some slut succeeded in seducing him?

Anf that says a lot about this story. Well done

And a novel idea but one that I think needed a longer treatment. Personally I prefer the realisation of visitation by angels or demons only becoming apparent after the fact, only discovered upon further reflection but that's just my opinion. I'm glad that someone else finds appealing the principle of reconciliation being a option when it's actually earned and the cheater genuinely remorseful. RAACs irritate with their naive irrationality.

Thanks, fritz51 for an fun read.

How can he remember the "dream" if he was supposed to forget even meeting the angel?

The damn story had so many SIMPLE english mistakes I thought it was written by a newly minted illegal alien (sorry we're supposed to call you "birthright visitor with voting rights"...). Take for instance this one simple, but incorrect sentence: How can you help me and how do know I was praying?

Another issue is the jump from first person "voice" to third person. It happens multiple times.

Learn the meaning of "to, too, and two". It is one of the most basic mistakes early English users make. A simple refresher course of second grade English might be in order.

The redemptive value is interesting, but because of the "reality syndrome", I can only posit that moving one "chess piece" is not enough to determine end of game values as too many options are still on the board. It is said that the fastest super computer if deliberating the possible moves in any game of chess was started running a the time of Christ, it would still be computing... Get it?

Smokepole

and uses it wisely, TK U MLJ LV NV

Divorce is the end of a marriage, but it doesn't have to be the end of a relationship. The marriage actually ended when Dianne agreed to fuck Brad. Dianne was willing to die and be damned if it would heal Jack. She could have demonstrated that level of remorse and sorrow by agreeing to accept nothing from the divorce, and pledging to remain faithful to the marriage she destroyed for the rest of her life. Of course she would continue to try to win Jack back until he remarried someone else. She would be as open and honest about this dedication and commitment as if she were still married to him.

There have been several well written stories based on this plot idea, some ending in reconciliation and some not. And some with very clever twists. This story had the same level of wit, but used fantasy and science fiction to implement the reconciliation. So it was a good story, well written, but more Fantasy than Loving Wives.

Still, thanks for the effort.

Man, am I torn about this story.

When I finished it, it seems pretty damn obvious that it was a Reconciliation At All Cost tale... but the more I thought about it, the more inaccurate that initial take was.

It sure felt like Diane got Jack back with very little effort... Except for the fact that she GAVE UP her life and eternal soul for HIS happiness. Now, I've read a whole lot of apologies from wives after they're caught cheating, but never have I read a story about a woman going to this extreme length to atone for breaking her marriage.

So, even though it felt cheap and easy... it really wasn't! Which, when you really take the time to think about it, isn't a good thing. By her actions, we are made to understand how bad Diane felt about her adultery, but we are never made to FEEL her pain about it, which makes her sacrifice to give Jack happiness again logically believable, but emotionally bogus.

I also feel like the author sorta brush aside Diane's cheating, after Jack chose her, to focus solely on their happy reunion - weird that I have to remind you of this, fritz51, but that couple has issues! This woman has giant-sized insecurities, going on in her head, and, as good as Jack is as a husband, he obviously missed the warning sides that the love of his life was about to take a major dump on their marriage. So yes - 'wouldn't be a bad idea to get some counselling going... And, by the way, is there a reason why Ellen can give Jack kids, but Diane cannot? Together for 19 years, supposedly in love throughout that time... but no children? Even though Jack would have gotten some, each he was with another woman? Kinda wish you took the time to explain this, author...

Overall, this was... fine. I don't hate it, just wish I would care about it more. It's a weird feeling to leave a LW story where you believe that the reconciliation was earned, but still doesn't feel like it was... you know? But it is still an effort worth reading, IMHO.

All's well that ends well!

The first thing that came to mind after reading this was the O. Henry story, The Gift of the Magi. The woman sells her hair to buy him a Christmas gift while he has bought an ornamental comb as his gift for her. Basically the same idea here.

But the wife's infidelity in this story revealed to me that the husband's love was shallow. We all make mistakes. The wife made one. If he truly loved her, divorce would not leap into his mind as the first and only solution. To me, in most instances, the person cheated on must realize that he/she has somehow failed the cheater. A little self-examination is in order. There will be hurt, but counseling should be the first thing that comes to mind, not divorce. We are all human. We all err. True love would be trying to understand the cheater. True love will lead to understanding on the part of both parties and remorse for the cheater and forgiveness for the cheated party. One mistake will not destroy an otherwise solid marriage. There is no serial cheating here. If there were, the outcome could be different.

You missed the key twist in "Gift of the Magi." She sold her beautiful long hair to buy him a watch fob for his treasured watch, he sold the watch to buy her a beautiful comb for her hair. They each gave up their treasure for their mates treasure.

We can have an honest debate on whether divorce should be the first and only option, but you lost me when you blame HIM for somehow failing her. She herself doesn't make that claim, blaming HER own ego for being swayed by the attentions of a younger man.

This story is, indeed, just like "The Gift of the Magi" insofar as both stories have a husband and a wife. /sarc/ Beyond that point, any claimed similarities are absurdly tenuous. Brooks' response to you was far too polite.

Your criticism of Jack reflects how marriage is regarded today as a relatively trivial institution by our soi disant "sophisticates". It's an attitude toward marriage that is generally both ahistorical and present only for a time in decadent, declining cultures. In better times, adultery was recognized for what it is: an act of treason against the family. Diane betrayed her vows, Jack, and her marriage.

Your view that Jack (and, evidently, any other victim of adultery) is somehow partially to blame for a spouse's adultery and belief that Jack's "proper" course of action is to seek "counseling" so that he can learn, in part, how he shares the blame for Diane's adultery are contemptible. You do, however, present a a brave, new conception of justice.

Let's see....

1. You contractually agree to deliver 20,000 units of a vaccine on a date certain, and you failed to do it because you went fishing instead. Is this material breach of contract cause to invoke contractual penalties and to sue you? Of course not! What's needed is for you and your contract party to go to "counseling" so that you both can discover how your contract party was partially responsible for your default. Besides, you only breeched your contract once.

2. You embezzle money from your employer so you can have some extra fun and are caught. Should you be fired, sued civilly, and prosecuted? Of course not! The appropriate course of action is for you and your employer to seek counseling so that both of can, in part, discover how your embezzlement is partly your employer's fault. Besides, you only embezzled once.

You say embezzlement is "against the law", while adultery isn't? (a rhetorical question folks) But that's a recent development. Historically, adultery has been against the law, which provided both civil and criminal penalties. You say that adultery shouldn't have legal penalties? Someone else could as well claim that your view makes even less sense from a social perspective than saying embezzlement shouldn't be against the law.

I actually like this whimsical little tale. It could use some polishing, but the fantasy element is used quite instructively. I believe most readers here think reconciliation after adultery is sometimes justified (true reconciliation, not just living with the adulterer until the children are grown, etc.). The fantasy element here is used to lay bare something that is generally left opaque in real life - whether there is true repentance on the part of the adulterer. The reconciliation is not justified, as one commenter seems to think, by Diane feeling "pain". Rather, it's her clear, demonstrated (1) recognition that what she did was profoundly immoral and that she has caused Jack excruciating emotional pain, (2) desire to atone for her betrayal, and (3) her obvious change of heart that means she would never do it again. In the story, these are transparent because of the fantasy device. In life they are far harder to discern. For this reason alone, the story deserves a higher score.

An interesting take on the "I'll do anything" claim that the cheaters often make.

Besides, as I said earlier, that even SHE made no charge as to any failing on his part, even if there WAS, the burden was on her to make it known to him so that he could work to correct it. If it came about that he was unable or unwilling to correct the failing, then she should woman up and get a divorce rather than cheat.

But who is Ellen?? Call in the police, there is something going on in the shadows here!

Thanks, even though I saw it coming, it was pleasant to read.

ty for the read. to bruce22 ellen was the women that would have ended up with jack if the son of satan or the angel hadnt of intervened. not that you'll come back to read for an answer. i think someone was skimming

...I admittedly prefer btb type stories, but I liked this one for some reason. Now, when Jack goes and kicks Brad's ass all will be right in the universe. 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

and it worked very well.

Not really believable, and if it was she cheated so easily the first time and will do it again

Both of your comments are spot on. Original at least in this genre and a very good read. Thank you. Signed: BTW

She DID cheat. Too late for anything but burn the bitch!

I don't believe you read, or at least understood the ending. Perhaps that is my fault, I wish now that I elaborated a bit more.

It ends that she never cheated, that was taken away, removed from time. What did remain was her dream where she cheated and the horror of that dream's result (divorce) alters her perspective so that she would never again feel the need to cheat.

One other person mention Jack kicking the guy's ass - Her cheating never happened, it could have, but she was given the chance to erase it & she took that option. She would have burned alive, except Jack loved her so much he accepted to live with her adultery rather than let her do as agreed. The powers that be took mercy on them and erased the adultery, but kept it as a dream to insure that the mistake would not be repeated.

I got it and I liked the story. She messed up. She got a poor second chance and her husband forgave her her sin, time was reversed, and the sin never happened. It's a lovely story. Too many here only know revenge. It was refreshing to read about forgiveness.

GREAT LITTLE DEVIL OF A STORY THOROUGHLY ENJOYABLE,I TOTALLY GOT IT ( shame some didn’t) , JUST5⭐️, Thanks P.

Loved it thanks

This was one of my favorite stories that I have read( I have read over a thousand stories). It was an excellent reminder of the consequences of betrayal of their wedding vows.

Great story...but... his wife was forty and too old to have children. Ellen his other choice was much younger and was destined to have his children. He lost out on having a family by choosing Diane. In effect he metaphysically aborted his own children, which is a high price to pay to stay with a cheater. Like a good saleswoman, the angel only let him in on the small print at the very end, after pushing him about time constraints so he wouldn't have time to think it through.

This story was a mind bender, I don't know what I would have done. Good read.

Interesting twist to a cheating wife story. Well done.

About Jack and Diane. I seem to be remembering a story(ies) with a similar plot line about one person willing to sacrifice themselves to erase the pain from another person due to something that they, themselves did. Just can't quite place it, no matter, many stories have similarities. It's all in how they're presented that counts as there are only so many basic plots. Just as in a very large housing complex that uses physical keys there are going to be keys that fit other doors, it's inevitable since there are only so many combinations. What matters is what happens when the door is opened. Pretty damned good effort here Fritz. Signed: BTW

Very good.

By choosing Dianne over Ellen, Jack aborted his children to Ellen metaphysically but by doing so, he saved another soul from damnation. The souls of the children that Ellen and Jack could have can still be born but with a different man. The price of choosing and forgiving a cheater is still better than damning a soul and having children with Ellen.

The message of the story is clear. It is difficult to forgive a cheater because we are afraid if the cheater have a remorse. We are afraid to be hurt again. The fear prevents us from rebuilding trust. Without trust, love will fade and happiness will not be possible. Jack feel so redeemed because he has proven that her wife loves her so much that she is willing to damn her soul just to see him happy.

I love this story! I hope you make more story like this for Loving Wife- Redemption category. Here's your five star.

five from me

Nice

This wasn'i Twilight Zone material it was the Outer Limits. Enjoying both shows I thouht this tale was excellent. I have to check out more of your stuff, Author.

Five Stars

4.5/5

Good one but fell short of great

Needed to be a little longer. More development of the characters & plot.

More conversation.

It's always easy to regret and make good decisions later, seeing the consequences. But alas, what is done is done. This cannot be undone.

Fantastic love the ending

Can you tell me the name of the weed you were smoking when you wrote this story? It was it your wife's creampie? For a wannabe cuck raac writer you've hidden in the closet for too long. Come out of the closet and embrace your cuckoldhood.

A good twilight zone story.

Weird.... I gave it 3 stars

So she's sorry, sure, do not let her go through that but why take her back? Once a cheater always a cheater

Was a rather shit ending. It honestly doesn't matter if it didn't happen if they remember/dreamed that it did happen.

It means the memory is there. The hurt is there. She went through with it. It doesn't matter that she later regretted it and had a mulligan.

Wow folks on here do not seem to understand redemption. Look at the sacrifice Dianne was willing to make for her husband to be happy in the future. Death and damnation. Thatbspoke volumes to Jack. And he was given the power to save her and forgive her. And out of mercy and love, he did just that. They had no idea that it would be turned into a dream. And wtf no one has had nightmares about the death or infidelity of their spouse? The memory they have is in a dream and it is NOT remotely as painful as having it in real life. Why does the author need to explain to readers how freaking dreams work? I thought us was a sad but creative twilight zone type story. Yes she fell into sin but her willingness to sacrifice her life and soul to ease her husband's pain with a future woman (Ellen) and children was profound. And Jack could have chose to burn her (literally) and find happiness elsewhere as foretold by the angel. They chose for each other and are rewarded with a dream instead of an actual occurrence. Meaning Brad never actually fucked Dianne. He only did it in both of their nightmares. Chill people!

who is Ellen?

Thank you Anon: "Wow folks on here do not seem"

Could not have explained it better myself.

No redemption for a cheater.

Female angel - femdom agitprop. Male Angel - revenge.

Should have posted that in Sci/Fi. Pretty bad.

The husband would be FAR better off letting his slut wife go to hell and trading her in for the new faithful one….a non cheater. Look……once a cheater, always one. It gets easier each time …….and here I will tell you WHY it gets easier!. When a husband forgives and / or takes back a cheating wife ………the nature of the female mind causes her to AUTOMATICALLY lose most all respect or absolutely ALL RESPECT for him. There is no way around this effect. It just IS!! Respect is an essential for fidelity and lover. Women won’t stay faithful nor love if they don’t fully respect a husband. To better understand the dynamic look only to the great English poet, Lord Byron…..one of his famous poems has this in it. Byron is telling his lover he is going off to war and will not listen to her pleas to stay home out of danger…..she fears his death at war. Byron’s response, “I could not love thee half so much, loved I not honor more”. If he can’t respect himself……everything else is diminished…..including his love for her. So taking back the cheating wife causes the husband to lose his self respect, hollowing out his love for her. Once she cheats all is lost. Can’t be taken back……like bullets and words. Clean break with a cheater is THE ONLY SOLUTION. Both parties necessarily lose respect. She for him, him for his self as well as for her. She casts the end in stone when she strays. Stories of reconciliation dress up a zombie of a once good relationship as if it was restored…..it is not. It NEVER is, it never CAN be. R. H.

The site shouldn't allow Anonymous posts. 8-10 are by readers that if my dog had their brains he would still be a dog only dumber. These readers with a hard on about every mistake that is delineated in these stories are lame and weak.

This was a great plot for a story. But I feel that the ending could have been developed more. “ Heaven can wait” and “ Here comes Mr Jordan” are examples. 3 stars.

now this was a good little ditty about Jack and Diane!

This should be rated higher. Well written and compact. The details of her adultery are somewhat sparse since they are superseded by her decision to sacrifice. Of course it is fiction and high fantasy. But it clearly shows the difference etsren remorse (for being caught) and repentance (sorrow and atonement for bring caught). Knowing what she agreed to, he was compelled to reconcile with her and their reward, her for her selfless act of atonement and him for his mercy and compassion, was the removal of her one time stand with Brad and then remembering it as a shared dream. 5 stars!

Somebody tell me what “femdom agitprop” is.

Senator Phil Bacstaber? Instantly, I realized this is not a serious attempt at an exploration of human emotion. Like naming an astronaut ‘Bill “Fly” Metothemoon’. It’s stupidly cute, and adds nothing.

What's dumber in this tale? The sophomoric dialogue or the poor punctuation, strange wording and spelling (e.g. cloths for clothes). Throw in the silly dialogue prefaced with the speaker's name, like this was an attempt at writing a script?

What ridiculous crap. I would have made so she died in a fiery crash over and over and over.

Seems like this could have been taken from one of the TV stories from The Twilight Zone, except they didn't do pron, lol. I know I'm dating myself as this show was on in the early 60s. Not bad for a what if kind of story. I'm almost sure I heard Rod Serling doing the voice over.....

Liked it better the second time through.