All Comments on 'Jack's Lucky Day Pt. 01'

All in all this wasn't a bad way to start a story. My only issue is the constant shifting of the point of view made it hard to follow. Is the story supposed to be told ABOUT Jack in the third person or told BY Jack in the first person?

Thanks for you reply to my story, I have realised that I had submitted one of the later drafts of my story rather than the fully finished version so I appreciate your comment. I have sent in the updated version which should be available in the next few days!

I couldn't get the first page. Tacky, boring, and just plain dumb.