All Comments on 'Jamie's Family Ch. 01'

Outstanding ending hook

I very easily rated this story a four (4) because you have created very a good (reality based and believable sounding) story. More authors need to strive to do this. Your story also has moderate potential for additional chapters. So, please accept my compliments on excellent fore-thinking about potential future stories. For example, possibly the half-sister, that she and her dad didn't even know existed (dad produced by mom's best friend back in college), suddenly shows up with her sexy and well hung boyfriend (possibly BI - for dad) seeking answers about who her father is.

Again, good job and I would have rated this story a full five, had the genitalia been described in a bit more detail. For example, were nipples thick, dark, rock-hard? Were pussies hairy (what color was the lady fur and were they full bush?) Were pussies trimmed to display thick engorged cunt lips? Were pussies shaved (please try and avoid shaved pussies unless its story about an 18-24 year old and there is a beach / bikini setting). Stories about shaved pussies tend create a specific mental image in the readers mind that you may want to avoid completely. That image most often is as follows. A shaved pussy on Friday night usually results in nothing more that irritating mound stubble on Saturday morning along with Nasty, Ugly, and Completely Pointless pain producing Razor Burn. Worse, is the non-erotic mess of pus oozing infected hair follicles. I promise, this is not the mental image you will ever want readers associating with your author name. I say that because you did quite well on this story and I would like to see you complete additional chapters.

The situation has potential, or not. Either way was enjoyable

Needs the follow up

IDK what image the previous commentor has, but rest assured if stories, porn, and their comments are to believed, that is most certainly not the image most people have of shaved pussies. You write what suits your stories best. I myself am a fan of shaved pussies. As the muslims and JWow of reality tv say, hair belongs on a woman's head and nowhere. But you should write to fit your story, not to appease me or anyone else. 5/5 stars.

Dewey Cheatham

iWriter4U,

What a great start.

Please go on.

WB

5