All Comments on 'Jamie's Package (750 words)'

Waste of two minutes. -- 1☆

Exciting then that ending...... I get what you did but that's a horrible let down. That was the start to what could be a great story but just leaves you hanging.... Did not like

I'm guessing part 2 is on the way?

Super fun! Thank you.

Maybe or maybe not!

4

Only 4 stars. I know it's a 750-word story challenge, but it needs to have an ending.

And?

The author probably considers himself fucking witty and damn pleased with himself, having created such a mysterious ending to the story? I must disappoint you - it looks just pathetic...

?

Captcha

Sure beats those stupid revenge stories any day.

That it's not finished!

And? D

Finish it.

Took points away for deliberately not finishing.

.

Plus…how could she NOT know whether it was her husband or not? Or whether there was more than 1?

.

Nice idea. Bad execution.

.

2 **

She was dreading her 28th birthday. What the f××× she is just starting her adult life. With what she allowed to happen without a prior check shows how little she cares about anyone bar herself the story was unfinished and must have writtenby a 14 year old. Seeing as she thought 28 was old.

Pity we cannot give minus stars.

Nice!!! A 750- word HOT FUCK!! In my ending there were three, and it went on ALL NIGHT LONG...

Yeah. Like a woman doesn't know her own husband with or without a blindfold. Then to do nothing about taking the mask off to confirm who it was. Another victim of the martian slut ray, and another stupid story.

Hot fantasy whether from the female or male's point of view.

The writing qualities are quite proficient, building the anticipation of and the physical actuality of the sensual assault upon the wife's mind and body wonderfully.

Loved it. More please! Sequels would be great; who/what did she see after ripping off her blindfold?

MLJ

No ending?

no conclusion?

Nicely done!

Can't wait to hear part two !

And the truth is??

Don't leave us hanging

Truth? What truth? This thing was building up to be a good shit show and ended abruptly.

1 star and that's being generous.

What story there is no ending and really not much of a tale

750 words doesn't excuse you from providing an ending.

Not very fond of stories like this,with ' you guess the ending', always felt it was cheap. If this was a hubby led gangbang, author was afraid of anon bombers ranking it low. If it is the hubby they might get higher ratings,but would be mundane story. My guess is it is a multi story,that is author's thing,but was afraid of reaction.

And the truth was?

Any husband that would let her be fucked by anyone other than himself, role playing some fantasy or otherwise, doesn't deserve her. Any wife that want to be taken by other men, doesn't deserve her husband. Leaving the ending open like that, while posting in LW, pretty much telegraphs your real intent. So we can assume a British couple, with a snaggle-toothed slag, and closeted beta. Nothing erotic about that, unless you should be a patient in a sanitarium.

Did not care at all for the lack of “who did it”.

Thank you for making this waste of time less than a full page long.

What? Who? How many were there? I don't know and neither do the other readers.

I quest I don’t care if it was her husband or not. Your previous works indicate that it probably wasn’t.

No ending, kind of a bad choice in this genre.

This site is so full of stupid and ridiculous stories, and this is one of the most stupid...congratulations. A big 1.

Needs an ending, incomplete. 1*

The point of a 750 word story is to tell a story in a single page, not leave the readers hanging with the "or did she?" noncommittal endings. Also, if this is going to be about a husband and wife who are into her pulling a train, it would do better in the Fetish category than Loving Wives.

Awe…poor 26thNC. He’s feeling unfulfilled by this story because there were none of the big black cocks he craves so bad.

We’re given no context for the scene other than her husband’s handwriting. Well done on the suspense you build up, but again the reader is left with more questions than answers. 3*

Its just a teaser, they are the easiest thing in the world to write, really takes minimal competence. Finish the story.

Strange. I thought one of the main purposes of a story was to make the reader feel something and to stir them to think. Why do so many readers want to have all the answers to questions they are asking themselves? I might not submit a story for others to read but I know how I would finish this "unfinished" tale. Actually with several avenues of erotic thinking.

Nice vignette. Great mood in the writing.

Incomplete and disappointing.

It's not supposed to be a 750 word chapter, it's supposed to be a 750 word story. Even changing the end slightly would move closer to that goal.

"Panting, her mind was awash, who was here? She couldn't believe how much she was was loving the idea of being taken by a gang of men. Pulling off the blindfold, she turned to see the truth, hoping it was her husband. But not alone."

We still don't know the answer about who's there, but we do have the wife's clear awakening and a more definite new tension and turning point for their lives.

Nonsensical.

That's a divorce

Oops !

And?

What was that all about?

So? What did she see?

Trash