All Comments on 'Jason Claims His Prize'

The story was well written and I very much enjoyed reading it.

This was incredibly cheesey and the writing style was mediocre. Ok, I learned a trick in high school that makes your writing sounds a bit better. Never begin two consecutive sentences with the same word. This forces you to consider different sentence structure.

I liked the story, if a bit cheesy, but I felt like you kept changing from first to third person. Find a point of view and stick to it, and it'll be much more fluid.

There is so much more to a women than echoing the magazine covers. A women’s eyes and mind will captivate you far longer than a perfect pair of breasts or a tiny tight ass. Confident girls are heavenly.