Jay Nee 04

Jay Nee 04

Oops, my bad for starting out the last chapter with how the antics I experience while hanging out at filling station were going to be the end of me and I only blogged about the good parts of last Friday night! I mean, the death of me just slowed rolled vroomed up to pump 5!

And I'm still waiting on one of you to make an honest Tranny out of me by rescuing me from life at the filling station. I mean, I can make a BLT and all and I've pucker kissed a couple of peckers and I'll leave the rest of the honeymoon to you and chip in, but be quick because the "Purple Goth" squad just pulled in!

[Vroom, a slow vrooming older model SUV up to pump 5 and clunks it in park and two people exit]

"Hi." "Hey."

"I mean, I mean, I mean, hi Lola (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), I mean, I mean, I mean, hey Honey Doo, I mean, I mean, I mean, the ink on my last Will & Testament isn't dry yet, so, I mean, I should get a running head start, so?"

"Relax, Jay Nee. We're here on a solid." "Chill, Jay Nee, it's a solid, but in our favor."

Fact checking, oh, in my head, my feet were running from the goth crew alright, but my feet weren't moving.

"We're here to trade, Jay Nee." "Trading straight up, Jay Nee, in our favor, of course."

Fact checking, fair and straight up trading equal is never in my favor anyways, so, that's the norm.

"And we'll make a big fuss over you in front of your preppies." "A bigtime fuss, Jay Nee, a fussy fuss."

Fact checking, I swear, even a bigtime fussy fuss will be the end of me.

"But we can't refer to you as "babies" in front of your preppies." "We have our limits, Jay Nee."

"But we'll be shower fresh clean and body scented, Jay Nee." "And shaved clean, Jay Nee."

Fact checking, I mean, tee he, every trade offer should at least be heard out, right?

"You talk now, Jay Nee." "Say something, Jay Nee and don't pass out thinking about our no fuzzy fuss."

Fact checking, duh, of course I passed out briefly.

"(Grumble, mumble) I mean, I mean, I mean (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), the two of you must be excited, ecstatic and over the moon for the upcoming Moon Dragon Festival since that sort of thing is your jam and I support that and I'm even attending myself, I mean, if I live that long, so, I mean, I mean, I mean, um, you talk now. Also, are my feet moving (gulp)?"

"Oh, let's trade festival outfit info then, Jay Nee." "We'll trade back with what we're wearing, Jay Nee."

Fact checking, huh, that info trade seemed reasonable enough.

"And start with what Tessa said, Jay Nee, since she has you wrapped!" "Finger wrapped tight, babies!"

"Hah (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop)! Tessa said nothing to me or suggested anything to me. I mean, I may have discussed a few things with her honor guard preppie, Allie, but I had everything already, so, hah! And please don't bitch slap me."

"Oh, wiggle, waggle your finger and fact check us back then." "Take us back, Jay Nee and tell it straight."

Fact checking, well, I was shaking in my high tops and about to pass out, so, well, I pulled up my blog and let the purples read it for themselves.

"Tee he, so, Jay Nee, even though you're on punishment, let's talk about your outfit for the Moon Dragon Festival and then for Tessa's after party because preppy punishment is actually easier than people think, I mean, you have one all picked out and ready to go, am I right, babies?"

"Oh, Allie (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), it's all figured out, it's all picked out, it's all totally laid out, it's all straightened out and you'll like it flat out because, um, I mean, you'll like it because..."

"Oh, Jay Nee, I'll like it a lot because it's black Demin Capri pants, size blood circulation issues, ankle socks, no belt, a 3/4 sleeved black logo pullover, which may or may not break above the beltline, but not of a fishnet style this time, a maroon choker for a splash of red and maybe a couple of black fringe strings on it, two black based with infused red sparkles hair ribbons, darker facial makeup, fingerless gloves, ahem, gasoline scent free, fabric with heavy mesh, your non-preppy high tops because you know, "that's your jam" and all and OMFG, they can even be your weird ass and also non-preppy mis matched colors, but as I see it, they should be a black shoe and a red shoe to match the theme of the Moon Dragon Festival and after party, so, I mean, you did good with your outfit selection, babies."

[Closes the blog]

"Drats, that damn preppie Allie is good!" "Drats, we need to be better friends with that preppie Allie!"

Fact checking, um, someone should write that down and post it since it's about me! Sort of.

[Ping (pause) P Allie (pause), has a new post on Chang: P Allie absolutely glows over glow ups from the purple goth squad.]

Fact checking, ahem, I meant the part about me! Oh, wait, they didn't say anything about me!

[Ping (pause) P Allie (pause), is now friends with (pause) Lola and (pause) Honey Doo on (pause) Chang]

"Ahem (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), and what about all the other trades that are fair, yet heavily in your favor, hmm? And one "babies" wouldn't kill you, so?"

"Fine, we have outfits picked out and we need you, babies." "But there's a twist and a twist, babies."

Fact checking, oh, the expense of two goth leather outfits from the Leather Shop and a double twist, huh? Trade offers denied! But denied gently since they each called me "babies" and didn't crumble into dust.

"And we'll make it right with "that" for you and Stan, babies." "Right as rain, right as rain, babies."

Well, that's just cheating.

"Oh, Lola and Honey Doo (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), what the hell do you mean, especially since Stan the man is, ahem, Honey Doo's cousin, hmm? I mean, isn't this where Honey Doo fake covers her eyes with spread fingers to signify that she's turning a blind eye to Stan the man and myself for possibly engaging, hmm? What ever happened to proper protocols and traditions, hmm? And two more "babies" references might make me pass out, so, someone should post about this while I'm still awake."

[That blind eye covering with spread fingers has been perfected over time. And highlighted with a couple of giggles]

"And we are going to need a couple of those Moon Dragon rings, babies." "And some gas, babies."

Fact checking, I so need a new place to start my Friday nights at. If I haven't mentioned that.

[Tap, tap, tap, tap, send, whoop, text sent]

"Stan, R U my Moon Dragon Festival date?"

[Weep, a pretty quick response text]

"Wear something nice."

I mean, I said it before, who knows better than me on what's nice to wear to a Moon Dragon festival, right? It's all picked out, sorted out and oh, I covered that alright, I guess, tee he.

[The Leather Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

"Gloria (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), do you have anything on hold for..."

"For the purple goth squad, Jay Nee, hmm? You're late. Turn your pretty little eyes to the two mannequins to the left and I'll be right with you."

"Red? Blood red leather jackets (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop) for the Moon Dragon Festival then, Gloria?"

"Well, shaking things up with a twist is their jam. And don't ignore the kooky blood red boots either."

"Oh, well (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), that's a twist alright, um, actually, it looks pretty good and I know everything there is to know about, um, about it, so, okay, but tee he, but I expected something more like the three mannequins on the right, so, are those their backup choices or..."

"Oh, you mean the three black Napa leather miniskirts, like mini minus one and bad ass blood red zippered cropped tops that are seemingly unfit for anyone who wears a preppie badge to wear to a public festival, you mean those three mannequin outfits, Jay Nee? I need a minute, Jay Nee, so dream about your preppie boobies just behind those zippers at the Moon Dragoon Festival and then pass out and I'll be right with you.

Fact checking, I mean, the Leather Shop on the Strip has a nice soft leather waiting sofa to pass out on, so.

"Oh, you're awake now, Jay Nee? Good because I'm going to need your platinum credit card because you're probably going to pass out again when I say, holy transition timing blues, Jay Nee! I mean, I have no idea how a man could choose between perky, perky, perky preppy boobs and the fuller soft and squishy boobs like the purple squad sprouts! And since all five of them tried on these outfits already right in front of me because I insisted, I mean, whoa, I'm glad I'm a woman right now, so?"

Fact checking, I mean, the soft leather sofa is a two persons sofa and just my size for plopping down flat.

[Wakes up from an incoming text]

"Babies, C if shop has yellow leather jacket 4 me 4 another time."

[A quick follow up incoming text]

"And I'll make a big preppy fuss over U in front of the Purples."

Fact checking, LOL, I should spend more time hanging out at the filling station because other than "that", tee he, things are working out for me! In a big fussy way.

"That's one whip ass yellow leather jacket added to the bill, Jay Nee and by the way, do you have something all picked out for the Moon Dragon Festival, hmm?"

Well, that's just too much déjà vu for even a quick fact check.

[The next day, just after spending a couple of hours getting to all that black Demin Capri pants, size blood circulation issues, ankle socks, no belt, a 3/4 sleeved black logo pullover, which did break just above the beltline, but not of a fishnet style this time, a maroon choker for a splash of red and metal rings instead of black fringes, but a few black cowhide fringe strings were loop fastened to the four rings, two black based with infused red sparkles hair ribbons, darker facial makeup, quite darker, gasoline scented free fingerless gloves, fabric with heavy mesh, non-preppy high tops because that's my jam, but they were fairly regular athletic shoes, one black shoe and one red shoe and someone was ready to be picked up for the Moon Dragon Festival (exhale, whew), the end]

"(Beep, beep)"

[The best to date strut yet in life from the front door of the house to the front seat of Stan's SUV]

"Damn, Jay Nee, your fashion skills are totally underrated!"

[Absorbs the glow up while fastening the seat belt]

"Thanks, Stanley (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), I picked (up) everything myself. By the way, I'm feeling so good about everything right now that it's a crying shame that I have to be captured way over here in a seat belt because I'm feeling that good!"

It's a fact, fact check, tee he, guys, right? They have all the answers for how to get a pre date blow job! I mean, never mind what happened after I had my moments in the Moon Dragon Festival Tranny outfit spotlight because there is more in between.

"Oh (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), I'm not backing out tonight, Stanley, not at all, but listen..."

Fact checking, it's never good when the seat belt captured date starts out with a "but listen" I think and it was me who said that!

"But listen, Stanley (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), I messed up, two times. First, I thought I could put the little hair ribbons in my hair by myself and that's probably wrong..."

Fact checking, huh, I thought Stanley would have a bigger reaction to that, but I guess he was still thinking of others ways to solve the "sex while seat belted" geometry problem. And stop judging me, I mean, it's already a stated fact that I'm half sexually active with Stanley and nobody else rescued me from life at the filling station, so, shush it.

"And (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), my second mess up is that I left the entire display case box of Moon Dragon rings in my cold storage unit at the filling station and we have to pick the box up and there's no way for "that", tee he, not to catch us together since the filling station ice machine is just outside of the window where "that" stands behind the counter, so, we're busted, Stanley, busted I say!"

Fact checking, so, do guys just listen to half of the story on a regular basis then, hmm? Because Stanley, Leroy's dawg buddy, Stanley, my Moon Dragon Festival date, Stanley, just screeched it right up to the damn ice machine and squealed his brakes! I mean, who needs a security system when you have loud tire screeching, right?

"OMG, Stanely (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), I haven't been to China since my last life, so how was I supposed to know that a Chinese Fire Drill is exactly the same as running around in circles and giggling! But tee he, I like it! Also, I mean, do people ever capture a makeshift Chinese Fire Drill on video because I don't know if you've heard, but I am expecting a couple of fusses to be made over me tonight and this might be a good way to kick things off, but only if..."

Well, he sure found a way to hush my mouth! And right there in the first aisle where he screeched his tires! With a big smooch people! But I paid back with a rub or two.

"(Window bang, window bang, window bang, window bang, window bang!)"

Anyways, I mean, I jumped out of Stanley's SUV and ran around in a circle two times and only two times since I hadn't looked so fashionably put together before and didn't dare mess that up, made a mad dash stop at the ice machine and snatched my hidden stash of Moon Dragon rings and tee, he, banged back to Leroy on the window and jumped back into Stanely's SUV and then we peeled out and split!

"(Giggles) that was (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop) fun, but we'll both pay for that later, Stanley!"

Um, that's when I found out that there is such a thing as a Middleton Fire Drill and ahem, according to Stanley, it was better because after he slammed his SUV into the alley behind the filling, he insisted, ahem, by going all "boyfriend" on me, that it's the same thing if I jumped out of his SUV and only ran half way around his SUV because leaning over through an open SUV does not mess up clothing! Ahem!

I mean, I did it and he got what he wanted, but as I said before, the guy always shows up with a red strawberry Double Dipped, Double Tipped Frosty Freeze from the Double Dipped, Double Tipped Frosty Freeze Shop and he is the first one to go all "boyfriend" on me, so, hush it.

But let me close with, tee he, that guy Stanley must have a thing for "almost being caught" or something because whoa, that was fast!

End Jay Nee 04