Jelly Bean Joie 03

Jelly Bean Joie 03

Well, let me start out by saying that I'm no fool. I knew better to walk into Candi's Corner to report to work with just one Angry Meal for DJ Mako. LOL, I bought the entire crew an Angry meal from the Burnt Burger joint on the outskirts of Middleton.

Secondly, let me say that SOB, they assigned a third job to me. Apparently, I was the food runner during the early club hours when people actually ate a sandwich! But that was alright because it provided me with more people to talk to and that type of experience is invaluable when you're trying to figure out how to be the best roleplaying CD in town.

And lastly, let me say that, holy snap, the Saturday night club crowd, right? I mean, studs in skin tight shirts with muscles bubbling out to here and girls in skin tight dresses with curves bubbling out to there, right? Also, ah, are bubble butts still a thing? Because they are everywhere!

Anyways, the Saturday night clubbers are different. I mean, I thought DK Mako was needy and all, but SOB, everyone in the place needed something all the time and OMG, that's just from the club's staff! But I had a personalized T-shirt that had "Jelly Bean" printed across the back of it and the customers knew enough to leave me alone, LOL mostly, and the evening went on. Also, geez, cases of bottled beer are heavy!

Well, somewhere around 10pm, Danni and Danny arrived and found themselves a seat on the far side of the club floor. They were immediately joined by another couple, who I didn't know, but they must have sent Mindi the bartender a text and requested that I carry their drinks over to them. Well, let me say I quickly reviewed that with their server, Heidi, as to not rock the boat. Ah, Heidi didn't care, just as long as I didn't spill anything or try to snatch up her big fat tip.

So, I grabbed the serving tray like I knew what I was doing and made my way across the club floor. Oh, so that's how you meet and talk to people! You have to get into the mix of things.

It was all pretty casual and safe, but almost every table I passed by had something to say or at least put up a little wave or some sort. In other words, it was very nice and very pleasant.

I didn't spend much time at Danni's table because I couldn't risk anything stupid coming up about my construction project from Danny. It would be hard to look him in eyes and not say something about good his girlfriend treated me earlier in the afternoon. And when he offered to, you know, back me up if I needed to use the restroom, well, I excused myself and fled. Besides, the manager is allowing me to use the club's private restroom in between the bar and the small kitchen, so I didn't need backing up. But I didn't refuse his offer either, you know, for possible future purposes.

Oh, and by the way, the male club crowd in this club have medical problems. I had way too many offers to be "backed up" in the Men's room as I made my way back to my work area and by medical problems, I mean they seem to need to "go" way too often. But as the good new employee, I stopped by the stage where DJ Mako's is set up to see if he needed anything.

"Need anything DJ Mako?"

"A cola and a redhead."

"Ah, the word is that I'm not allowed to bring you sugary drinks, so which redhead?"

"Oh, any redhead in a red dress will work, now beat it punk."

"Alright, are red shoes and red "down there" mandatory?"

"Damn it Jelly Bean, stop confusing me with all these questions, but yeah, what you said."

"Marci is wearing red tonight. She's cool, right?"

"Huh, she is pretty cool. Ask her what song she wants me to spin. And bring me a red cow!"

"Ah, no, the boss said no sugar or caffeine, but one Marci coming up, maybe. But first, fix your eye patch. It was over your left eye last night. No, no, your other left eye, ahh, there you go Mako shark."

"You're a punk!"

"I'm a Jelly Bean!"

"Ah snap, come here and give me a little bit of that sugar, sugar bean."

"Hah, be nice to Marci and there might be a half glass of cola on end of the stage in a few minutes."

"Ugh, is my fake eye patch on correctly?"

"No, you keep flipping it."

"You're a punk and someone is going to flip you tonight!"

"No, again, your other left eye. And isn't getting "flipped" something that happens at a club?"

"Watch it punk! I know a guy who knows a guy who is a guy who likes to flip punks like you."

"Should I see if there is any black tape behind the bar so I tape your fake eye patch in place? By the way, before you say it, I'm a punk."

"OMFG punk! Go get Merri for me and shut it."

"Marci." Merri is not here tonight. Say something nice and I'll accidently leave a cola close by."

"Punk bitch! You have a nice ass, even with only one eye."

"And?"

"You'll do well, for a fem boy punk. Anyways, here's a tip because I like you. Under no circumstances should you step outside with Frank over there. I mean, you're still all fresh and stuff back there, right punky bean?"

"Hmmm, "fresh back there" huh? I like that, so yes DJ Mako, I am all "fresh and stuff" back there."

"Cool, so a cola, some black tape and then some of that cute Ginger?"

"And????"

"Jelly Bean. I mean, punk ass Jelly Bean, but Jelly Bean all the same. Now, where the hell is Maggie in the red dress?"

"Marci in the red dress, PUNK."

See what I have to put up with at work? DJ Mako can't remember which eye to wear his fake patch over, Heidi is smoking out of a glass pipe in between cocktail orders, there are way too many dudes asking me where the Men's room is and Mindi sending me texts stating that she knows what Danni did to me earlier and when does she get her time slot and on and on. I mean, WTF, right? Ugh, club life.

Also, LOL, there is no way Marci is going to hook up with DK Mako.

"Marci, forgive me for disturbing you, but DJ Mako wants to know if you have a song that you want him to spin for you. He also wants to know if you're wearing red lingerie under your red dress and if there is any chance in hell that you're red all the way around. Um, his words, not mine."

"Well, I never! But the answer to all of your annoying questions is yes, but let's start with something from the Heavy Young Heathens. If he picks the right song, then maybe I'll pick his, well, whatever that sugar freak wants picked. Ah, Jelly Bean, is it? The word is that you're Mindi's new little bitch, is that about right, Jelly Bean?"

"Well, according to this text that I just received from Mindi, ah, let's see, I supposed to show your lousy boyfriend to the door if DJ Mako picks the right song, which sounds better than showing him to the Men's room, which by the way, is way too popular around here. I'll pass along your request to the DJ."

"Oh, hold up fem boy! Shouldn't we step into the hallway so you can properly verify that I am red from head to toe? I mean, wouldn't DJ Mako's head explode if you don't deliver?"

Oh, great, another very forward girl in my life, but as the new employee, I went with the flow and vetted the young and properly verified that she was indeed red from head to toe, inside and out and all nails included. I mean, damn, that was a lot of red! Also, OMG, redheads, right?

"Satisfied sissy?"

"Hey, I never doubted you and don't call me that. You can call me Joie or you can call me Jelly Bean or you can call me a train wreck, but not that. So, am I supposed to ask your boyfriend Lenny if he wants to take a smoke break outside now?"

"Yup, but not before you confirm to me that my body does it for you?"

"Which you have been doing for 3 minutes, so, are we good?"

"Can I be there when Danni splits you in two with her toy? Also, don't worry about Lenny trying anything with you. He's been on steroids for over two years, so he doesn't have much down there anymore. I'm dumping him this Wednesday, just as soon last his check clears as the final payment on my boobs, which I can see that you appreciate. Or maybe a little jealous of?"

Hah, I had to go, which she probably took as a "yes", but I never said that in actual words. I mean, that little thing a carry down there said it loud and clear, but my mouth said nothing! At least that's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Also, OMG, redheads, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I went outside with Lenny and made sure that he smoked a bunch of cigarettes before I let him back inside. I mean, I'm still new at the club and I have no idea how long club sex lasts for, right? And nope, I had nothing to worry about, although I could see on his face that he had a conflict going on between his brain and pants. LOL, neither one worked very well anymore! And then I trotted back inside and behind the bar.

"What do we need boss lady Mindi? More liquor bottles? More beer? Glasses washed?"

"Glasses and use the sink down there by Frank. He's been, you know, asking about you."

Oh, holy middle-aged guy snap, right? But what the boss lady wants, the boss lady gets.

"Hey, don't mind me as I wash out these cocktail glasses. So, Mindi says that you're a regular, right? I'm Joie, by the way, but people call me Jelly Bean."

"Well, Jelly Bean, it's nice to finally meet you. Now, the word is that you have some strange story about why people call you Jelly Bean, so why don't we talk about that?"

"In the rear seat of your SUV?"

"Duh!"

"All done Mindi, what's next?"

Oh yeah, I moved from that, only to be thrown into the next fire. Mindi had me carting the tubs of plates back towards the kitchen, which meant I had to pass by the lurkers who lurked at that end of the bar. I mean, good looking guys for sure, but they obviously shopping.

"Excuse me guys, coming through with messy plates and I wouldn't want to get any stains on your expensive shirts."

"Alright, ah, does the back of your shirt say Jelly Bean?"

"LOL, it does and I deserve such a nickname because I am as sweet as sugar. Joie, Jelly Bean Joie."

"Alright, is Jelly Bean Joie single?"

"Hmmm, my kind usually use the words "train wreck" because we are under appreciated, but in normal terms, yes, I'm single. Are you interested, horny or just striking out everywhere else tonight? Anyways, you are?"

"Oh, sorry, Chad and my friend is Jerry."

"OK Chad. Um, Jerry, it's nice to meet you too, but I should really get back to work."

"Hey, I'll call you if you give me your number!"

"Hah, we'll see about that, but I'm not rejecting you, just yet. Bye."

So, this is club life. The only place that there isn't some level of sex going on is behind the bar and in the middle of the dance floor. And yes, you can argue with the end of that statement, but at least they have clothes on, for the most part. Also, huh, who knew that a knit dress could be slid up so easily, right?

Anyways, that's pretty much how the rest of the night went. Bar Back job after Bar Back job, offer after offer, groping, pinching and a whole host of other club activity. I mean, look at Marci over there? Her hair is a hot mess and it looks like DJ Mako spiked her drink. And Danny, OMG Danny, right? He spent most of the evening turning his head away as Danni flirted it up with everyone and not to mention that I was wrong earlier when I said that nothing sexual was happening behind the bar. Well, Mindi took it to the back hallway, but Mindi got hers up against the wall and apparently, she's really proud of the way her thighs glisten.

And still, LOL, the bouncer Derek just stared forward.

"Alright Mindi, all of the Long Island Ice Tea glasses are dried, so do I dry off your thighs next or should I go tell Marci to fix her hair in the Lady's room?"

"Hmmm, I'll take a rain check on the thigh rub down, but only because Marci is looking like a hot mess. Also, I have a few suggestions and OMG, not like Danni's suggestions. Mine are real suggestions."

"Well, what could possibly go wrong, so, let's hear them."

"Alright, let's try this on for size. Um, the 4th of July weekend is coming up and the boss might be willing to let you wear black Denim shorts and by that, I mean I already asked him, so think about that. George also said that he would be willing to make you an extra club logo shirt if you wanted to take it to a place that could add some sparkling stars on it or something. And maybe think about a few stars on your legs with body paint. I mean, well, the girls mean that your tip out only gets bigger when their tips get bigger, so show some stuff to those who are into that sort of thing. I mean, that's just something to think about, right? Also, all of the girls will be joining in."

"OMFG, where is she? Where is Tori?"

"Oh, she popped in, gave me and the boss a few ideas, tongued me a little and popped back out. I mean, she loves you, right?"

"Hah, she loves money, but let's get back to she "tongued" you a little. I mean, just what lips were involved with that anyways?"

"Oops, the kitchen has a sandwich for you run. Back to work, Jelly Bean."

Hah, she's just lucky that Tori's idea wasn't all that bad, but still, right? I mean, who drops a "tongued" bombshell and then shy's away from the details? Hah, well, not Heidi, that's for sure.

"OMG Jelly Bean, the word is that you and your hook up is going to hook us up with some sexy outfits for the holiday weekend. That's so cool of you."

"Ah, you know me Heidi, anything to help out. So, what color pills are you swallowing tonight and did you see Mindi talking to Tori?"

"Who?"

"Barbie, the Barbie Doll."

"Oh, OMFG, that wasn't talking, that was hot! I mean, damn, I never had it that hot! Oops, sorry Jelly Bean, a customer is waving, oh wait, hey, be a sweetie and go see what table 24 needs for me, OK?"

Oh, I see, I believe that's called yellow pills. Besides, table 24 looked harmless enough. Two girls, two guys and it looked like a perfect date night.

"Sorry guys, Heidi is busy for a minute, but she wants you to be happy, so what can I do for you until her eyes open again? Joie, by the way, but most people call me Jelly Bean."

"Um, two long islands for us and maybe some rat poison for these two jerks."

"So, two complimentary long islands and one made up story to the bouncer. Two drinks coming up and two losers going out. And as for date replacements? I have two studs, Chad and Jerry, on standby."

"Hah, bring them and then come back with the Jelly Bean story too!"

So, let's just see how well I have rolled into the club life. I mean, Mindi works mostly near where the studs hang out and the studs are still there and Derek the Bouncer should be able to hear me as I bark it out. Oh, and Heidi's eyes are still closed.

"Mindi, two tall long islands for the very attractive brunettes. Chad and Jerry, listen up, they will be single in 17 seconds and Chad, I won't hold it against you and I will still give you my phone number. Derek, those two jerks over there with the two hot brunettes were using their cell phones to take upskirt photos on the dance floor, so you got that, right?"

Well now, it looks like working inside of a club isn't all that bad or hard. I mean, it was the first time I ever witnessed Derek moving at all and Chad even pecked me on the cheek. And as for Mindi, well, she gave me two tall glasses of tan liquid. I mean, I wouldn't know a long island ice tea from a southern ice tea, but I trusted her.

"Two long islands and it was all up top Jelly Bean."

"Up top???? She latched onto your breasts?"

"Whoa, slow it down, but it was over the shirt and then you know, she ended up here and then it was over, so there is nothing else to say. Is my lip gloss all messy?"

"Yes, but then you and Tori made additional plans, right?"

"Ah, your customers are waiting and Heidi is going to expect a nice tip if and when she comes around."

Well, fine, but I'm no server and I rather go to the restroom with the Hipster guy than carry drinks like this for a living.

"Here we go ladies, two long islands and two brews for Chad and Jerry, who aren't here???? Didn't you like them? I picked them out special for the two of you."

"Oh, they have promise, but we did send them away to Men's room for a minute so I could talk to you in private. Also, the guys are hot, so thanks."

"Hot and they have muscles and money. So, what's on your mind? Ah???"

"Kayla and she is Dayna. Anyways, I may or may not have snapped off a photo of you and I may or may not have sent it to Dayna's brother. He may or may not be of interest to you, but you're definitely his type. Does it make you mad that I'm interfering with your life or does it make you hard that I know of the perfect guy for you? And no fair looking at Dayna. I mean, Nate is her brother and she has issues with his choices sometimes."

"Ah, OMG, ah, yes, no, maybe?????"

"Well, I heard "yes", so I was right to invite him up here to meet you. He'll be here in 15 minutes. By the way, ah,"

"KAYLA, don't you dare! We said we wouldn't say anything!"

"Shut it, Dayna. Listen Jelly Bean, everyone can plainly see that you're wearing a butt plug, so go the restroom and you know, get rid of it. And by that, I mean get rid of it in the trash can. I mean, unless you want to convince me that you "accidently" left a piece of round headed candy in your undies when you got dressed today?"

"OMFG, where is she? Did she come back without me knowing it?"

"LOL, she did and I'm just teasing you. It's not attractive to me, but you be you. Also, Tori and I talked in the Lady's room."

"Oh, so there some tongue involved, right?"

"Ah, do you expect me to kiss and tell?"

Oh, holy what else could happen tonight, snap. I mean, by the stroke of midnight I had an offer from Frank the old guy who wanted to "talk" in the back of his SUV, I had Chad the lurker who wanted my phone number, but jumped on the chance to hook up with Kayla, who later traded him to Dayna for Jerry and apparently traded back before they left the club and I'm sure that all ended up as a big ball of bare flesh and then I had Nate, who is Dayna's brother, who was recommended to me by Kayla and OMG, let's not forget about DK Mako who kept asking me for a cola, over and over again. And speaking of DJ Mako, I guess I shouldn't forget about Marci either, who still looks fabulous, LOL, even as a hot mess.

"Hey, hey Jelly Bean, do I owe you one or do I own you now?"

"Are you going home happy?"

"Yeah."

"A little of both then????"

"Hmmm, OK. Is that your afterwork date over there?"

"Yeah. Nate, he's Dayna's brother."

"Hmmm, he looks like he's all that, are you ready for all that?"

"No, but we're just talking and he's escorting me to my car."

"Hmmm, am I still your number one Ginger?"

"Forever more."

"Good night, Jelly Bean."

Anyways, I didn't go home with Nate, but he did seem nice enough and we did make plans to see each other again in the future. And just like Kayla, I don't kiss and tell, but I will tell you that he kissed me, OMG, right there in the parking lot, even with all of the horns blowing and everything!

I had a lot of "firsts" on that Saturday and none of them killed me or stop the planet from rotating on its axis, so all in all, it wasn't a bad day. But guess what? I still have a Pole Barn improvement project going on and I really needed to get some sleep so I could be all bright eyed and bushy tailed for that in the morning.

Oh, also, as wild as that Saturday night was in the club, I went home with my tail fully intact.

End Jelly Bean Joie 03