Jem Gem Ch. 01

Hi there, I'm Jem Gem and I have gone from being popular for all the wrong reasons to being somewhat popular for a couple of decent reasons. Now back in the day, I was popular by default because of the percentage of guys who want to or just enjoy fagging another guy who just so happened to look like a girl, but rest assured that I learned quickly who to stay away from, what places to stay away from and LOL, who I could out run. But I will openly admit that I would engage occasionally before I ran or drove away because I had a car early on. I mean, that's what people do, right? We meet, we talk and then it's "tits or get the fuck out" or in my case because I didn't have tits, it's "there's a private spot right around the corner" and things like that.

Well, it was all my fault for thinking that I could switch up what I wore and the highlight my face and mold right in with the cool people because 50% of the cool people are faggots for guys like me. Oh, and the other 50% of cool people are females, not that I'm directly and purposely calling out the first 50% of the cool people, but the math checks out, so.

Well, that left me with only a couple of choices because I was too deep into maintaining a fem persona. I could quietly stay at home so I didn't have to run to literally save my butt or I could make nice again with the old nerd and geek crews, who I'm not slamming. It's just that I have never gotten the whole endless hours of video play thing. I mean, I get the root beer vs beer thing, but hours upon hours of "phew, phew, phew" just didn't excite me, LOL, no matter how many times Josh would shout out "hah, I just phew, phew saved your ass", which he was literally doing by default anyways.

Which brings me around to being popular for a better reason, the old crew, the cost of reigniting my new popularity and unfortunately, maybe, the cool people always seem to find a way to worm their way back in somehow, so a few of them will make an appearance later in my story.

So, after hiding out for several months, I made contact with super geek Evie, who didn't waste any time coming up with a solution. I mean, ugh, it involved video for sure, but sometimes you have to bite the bullet or sell all of the living room furniture that never gets sat in so, you put Evie in charge and just like that, I was the 3rd Friday of the month host of a wings and video mixer with endless video, endless wings and all of the root beer that the "Stop & Rob" convenience store carried.

I mean, I would say "ugh", but SOB, it worked and there were other humans in my house and spending time trying to figure how to protect my butt wasn't an issue and boom, once a month, I was popular and nobody cared that I wore eye gems, so.

Well, my message here is that letting Evie take the helm was a great idea, but not taking the helm back may have been an oversight on my part. Or it may have been the purple pill that Evie said I should take daily for my injured ankle, even though it was my wrist that had been injured because I tried to argue with Evie about taking the purple pills and she bent my wrist backwards, so.

"Oh, Jem Gem, you have your house set up nicely for this first mixer. I mean, the couch will hold one, two, three and three and a half, and two arm chairs and we all know that Josh just wanders around aimlessly all night and you and Mickey can flirt and secretly make out just inside of the hallway and with three trays of mixed wings on the Breakfast Bar, well, I'd say this will be a "win" for you, so."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Three and a half on the couch? And there's no Mickey and me, so."

"Well, Gina always slips in between and sits high up on the back of the couch because that's what she does and you don't have to start anything with Mickey, but he might start something with you, I mean, I'm just saying. I mean, I'm not saying that he will try to go all "ag, ag, ag, and oof, oof, oof on your ass, but maybe you should let the evening flow. And by the way, I really like this more conversative look that you came up with for tonight. It's quite presentable, Jem Gem."

"Well, I didn't want to freak anyone out, but if the 3rd Friday of the month ever falls on a Saturday, well, I'm going all out, so."

"LOL, and that's fine, Jem Gem, so, if you find yourself getting tired as the evening goes on, just give me a wink and I'll start clearing things out then."

I mean, it was all starting to sound to good to be true, but maybe that's just the value of having a good party planner at the helm, right? But with Evie at the helm, I was going to have human exhale in my house, so let the party begin, right?

"Alright, I hear cars and LOL, Gina, so if tonight is a "win" or even a "tie", then you owe me a secret favor and a regular favor, agreed Jem Gem?"

I mean, that's something that she should have mentioned up front, right? Or maybe she did, but if she did, it was after she popped a purple pill into my mouth. With her tongue.

Anyways, huh, endless wings and video works then, right? Also, yep, Josh wandered around aimlessly all night with just the occasional sitting down for a moment. LOL, he even played his round of video games standing up.

And yep, Gina looked extremely comfortable sitting on the back of the couch while grinding her boots into the (ugh) couch cushions, but the evening was a success, I suppose.

Oh, and no, there was no hiding in the hallway with Mickey from my end. He preferred to help me get additional bottles of root beer from the large cooler on the rear patio.

"So, Jem Gem, I guess you believe me when I say that I'm not like all of the cool people fags who just want to hit it and quit it then, right?"

"Well, in full disclosure, I'm only this close to you, Mickey because I thought human exhaling was just a myth like how sometimes the 3rd Friday of the month falls on a Saturday, so."

"Well, that happens next month then, so."

"And I already promised wear a little less on my legs next month, so."

"Well."

"Well, I know what a boner is, Mickey and unfortunately for you, it's a myth that I'm much of a sexual being, so."

"I mean, hasn't Evie double your dosage yet then, Jem Gem?"

"Oh, I've been spitting them out lately, so stop relying on the pills. I mean, you do have a charm about you, Mickey, so."

"So, I'm winning then, right Jem Gem?"

"Oh, we'll call it a tie for now, Mickey, but the scorecard is still open, so maybe you can act as my escort next Saturday when I have to play "little wings bitch" at Evie's family reunion party then? Evie kind of locked me in before I started to spit the purple pills out. Also, by escort, I mean, pick me up, drive me to Deli for the trays of wings, take me to the reunion party, have some cocktails while I dish out wings in my stupid latex gloves and ultra-conversative outfit, try to have sex with one of Evie's drunk aunts and then bring me back home, so????"

"I mean, can it be a slow ride back to your house then, Jem Gem?"

"Sure, Mickey and we can even stop down by the river if you manage to empty these things into one of Evie's drunk aunts, so."

I mean, my hands just went south by themselves and I was only trying to make a little air gap between us, so. Also, it was a documented trick on Chang. Save your intactness by giving him another way out and from what I remember, literally any of Evie's aunts should be there to save the day whether they knew if they were saving my butt or not, so.

Also, LOL, guys, right? Any way out that involves a release of body fluid suits them just fine, right?

"Agreed! So, seal it with a kiss then, Jem Gem? And just a little more hand movement."

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah oops, ahh, ahh]

"Oh, ahh, I mean, ooh, so, um, I'm just going to slip around the side of the house and leave, Jem Gem, alright?"

"Well, I don't have any spare pants or boxers that will fit you, so. Also, huh, I hope literally any of Evie's aunts are thirsty then. Or maybe I don't know too much about a normal wet spot, so."

[Swoosh, disappears around the house]

"Hm-hmm."

"Well, we were just making arrangements for Mickey to escort me to your family's reunion party, that's all, Evie."

"And you didn't die after pulling your first nut from my match making skills, so say the word and I'll start clearing things out if you're getting tired, Jem Gem."

"Well, they all seem pretty happy and content, so maybe one hour more and all. Also, is that all there is to it then?"

"LOL, for a guy, Jem Gem, you don't know much about guys, but yep, it doesn't take much."

See folks? My first nerd and geek wings and video mixer went pretty well and I wasn't smashed into my bed with my bare butt being banged, so it was a good beginning to my monthly 3rd Friday of the month gatherings. I mean, yeah, I spend the next several weeks trying to find something in Mickey's size in case he helps me with the root beer again, but just to keep things dry and clean, so.

"By the way, Evie, I mean, working the wings table at your family's reunion party next weekend is one of the favors I owe you, right?"

"Well, I suppose so, but it's not the secret favor. That comes early tomorrow morning. I'll be around to pick you up and Gina will be with me and don't screw around with getting ready. The 9am morning sun is important, so. Oh, and dress anyway you want to. The three of us will basically be secluded for about an hour, so don't be afraid to show us what you have, LOL, I think."

Well, I appreciated her mentioning that up front, but seriously, that could go like a hundred ways, right?

End Jem Gem 01