All Comments on 'Jeremy's Slavery Ch. 01: The Beginning'

Good stuff. Such a harsh punishment for someone that wanted to leave. I'm certain that assaulting someone with syringes and filing false charges is a greater crime. This story could use a twist in Chapter Two. Maybe add the possibility of reprisal and divulge dirty details of slavery in 2025.

If English is not your native language you need an editor....very difficult to follow and understand

But it’s SO hard to read. Seems like English is not your first language, so full marks for achieving what you have, but please get an editor so we can enjoy your writing.

I hope its not just 1 chapter.

I really wish to see his slavery. It's really erotic that someone is betrayed into this by evil forces in power. I love such kind of victimization. How I wish it was younger bro as the schemer but its fine. Hopefully a lot of victimization coming in the future for the loser.

Affina (35/F/India)

Almost unreadable. I gave up after a couple of paragraphs. The grammar, spelling and sentence construction, are frankly, dreadful. Well done for the effort, as English is obviously not your first language but the story really does need editing.