All Comments on 'Jerome'

Great premise for the story but including dad seemed a bit much. Still enjoyed it.

The opening few paragraphs read like a parody of cliff notes from some Soap Opera or Tele-novella. Already lost in the different names, dates, calendar offsets, yawn yawn yawn... Gave up on whatever you were trying to accomplish. Next time, just say they were less than a year apart and move on.

You pretty much ruined it from the point you included the dad, but ruining good premises seems to be your thing given your other work in the category.

This could have at least two more sex filled chapters.

1 star