All Comments on 'Jinx'

A very entertaining read. I really, really enjoyed this tale. I don't particularly think it needs a second chapter, but if you dear author have more to tell, then I'm all for it! I don't like stories that are continued just for the sake of continuing. Anyway, thank you for this effort. It was a delight.

Beautifully written, with convincing characters.

Hey, this may be fantasy to you. But real life sometimes echoes fiction!

Was a great story and looking forward to reading the rest of their trip and how they make things work considering their different colleges.

more please.

Five stars hardly seemed enough. Just let it be said, this was enjoyed VERY much1

This is the type of story that I like best. Not just sex but love also. I have an older sister for whom I have similar feelings. I'd like to see how you might develop a follow-up during their college and an even closer relationship (marriage) in the future.

Excellent story. Please continue the burgeoning love story.

Would love to read more

this story is too good to die here.. please keep it going.

I'd love to read more keep them coming.

Great build up - not just another wham baam thanks maam type of story which is so common on this site.

Definitely 5* like your others MM. I'm with Trite_reader on this. It could be continued, but was a perfect ending like it is. Of course I'd read the continuation too. Keep the stories coming.

Couldn't stop reading after I started. Keep it going.

What a beautiful story of forbidden love. It stands great on its own, but allows for a natural progression. I say write this story until YOU feel it reaches its natural end. Maybe this is it, maybe a little more, mybe a lot more. Let it flow and I will continue to read.

Great story line and just enough sex. Too many writers on this site have to include all possible sexual activity in one story. Your story seemed to be much more natural in the sexual and non-sexual scenes. Good job.

You can feel the love between these two. Where does it go? I want to know.

Other than a few typos and a couple of consecutive pronouns missed at edit this was well written. Some room for improvement, but it held my attention and the characters were well developed for a short story. I don't know about a sequel - they do have to return to separate schools. If there is a sequel please link it as a continuation of this one.

Thanks for all of the positive feed back. When making recommendations for improvement, please provide specifics via private feedback (anonymous welcome too). MM

This was without a doubt my favorite story I've read on here so far! I do hope there is more coming to this story

Lovely as a stand alone story, where the love shines through and Andy and Annie find themselves rejoined and joined as life partners. There are so many unanswered questions though, that this would make a great first chapter in a series, Minds Mirror. How do they each feel after taking in what they have done? What is their next step? Can they hide their unity from their parents and Jason. Do they want to? What results from their revealing the truth? Same college for Senior year? Etc. Each reader has his/her own opinion of what might happen

this is far more romantic than i anticipated. Minus the incest this could be like a regular story.

but a bit too long to get to the action,don't see the reason for the younger brother to be featured so much

It was just getting started, and good i think you can take this futher

If you feel compelled to write more, why not do it as a new story with new characters?

I thought it was very well written, believable characters, and it didnt rush anything. The buildup felt realistic and didnt drag at all. I would love to see more of this. I really would.

Keep going!!!!!!

Edits for various issues are now live.

Let it continue please.

Good Story, wouldn't mind reading more about Annie and Andy.

which Uni they both want to attend for Graduate School?

If edits are now live, please consider this:

"He responded by taking my tight right nipple into his mouth. I hadn't expected my reaction. Suddenly, I was writhing in ecstasy. Andy was just gently sucking my long nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue across the teat portion. His left hand gently massaging and tweaking the nipple of the left breast."

Think about it and then try the move described above. If he is facing her, with her right nipple in his mouth, he would have to be a contortionist to reach around his own head to tweak her left breast with his left hand.

Unless he is upside down.

What you describe only works in the mirror.

(Insert humourous MindsMirror comment here) lol

Thanks. I only just found you. Keep up the good work! Editing may be important, but creativity, character developmenr and srorytelling are far more important. Keep on keepin' on!!

Need to hear what's next for them!

Oh please continue this story I believe I could become addicted.

We have made another pass at fixing issues with this story. Edits should be live in a couple of days. Yes, there is a part two in the works. We get distracted with other stories to tell. Check out our user profile for current priorities.

We've made extensive revisions with the help of our editor Ciguardian. They should appear within a few days.

I really enjoyed the story, good build up of characters and situations, great detail to the sex, totally believable and leaves me wanting more.

Yes keep the chapters and characters cumming!

For every good response you get, you should give us another chapter. Great story. Keep it loving and with happy endings.

Thanks for this. This one and the others ALL need continuing. Too hard to pick which one I want first...

But yes, it does need more chapters.

More or standalone. Was too good to decide.

Very good story, definitely a 5 star.

Very good and in fact better then that. Enjoyed the entire story.

You've probably heard this already but you need to continue this or at least use these two in another story.

How why does it take so long to get the next chapters!

We are addicted to your work.without doubt you are the best we ever read.More I've even resulted to checking everyday for new stories and chapters.

We aren't trained writers and we are slow but have produced:

7 stories (12 Lit stories) in about a year.

Totaling 70 Lit Pages (458 MS Word pages).

We make corrections and revisions of things we've posted and we try to get things right.

Yes, more please

It's like people sometimes say in my native language (not English): there are two hearts beating in my body.

- One is ceaselessly beating: more . more . more

- The other one is telling: leave it at the point it is, any next chapter will only make it worse.

I can't decide, but I can rate it:

Five stars, obviously.

Well that was really enjoyable! I'm happy with it left where it is, with the exception of them trying new things together, or a wrap-up of them moving across country and getting their own place, I don't feel a need for more. Parents catching them never did anything for me in stories, or conflict in general, usually. Thanks for the great read!

Great story. One naturally wants more of a good thing, but you left off at a very good point. The salient axiom for writers here is "always leave them wanting more".

No shortage, of commas, in this one!

But I loved it and want a sequel.

Finish your other series' too or else!

love to read more of it... but on the other hand, great end also... it is bit with your writing, i read almost each story of you and each one left me partly satisfied and partly painfully curious about what next...

We are of two minds, especially on this one. There's that famous quote saying "Always leave them wanting more". There is definitely a bunch more to tell on this story, but would adding it leave us happier?

-MM

This story is a beautiful beginning of an erotic, lustful story. It will develop into a long tale of an enjoyable life for two young people that will allow their love and lust to last. It could, however, take many turns as the door is wide open to develop many avenues. Keep it going.

I loved this story, and would love to read more of it, since it's so obviously not finished!

Pretty please?

The grammar (mostly punctuation) still leaves a lot to be desired, but I really liked this story. Since they're twins, it would have been a good experiment to try switching the POV back and forth between them.

Really enjoyed this (despite a few typos etc). For me I think you should possibly leave it here as I think you'd be pushing/forcing the story too far just to create then next chapter.... Better to continue developing your other stories that were always intended to go further - OK I know... that's a very unsubtle hint :) :)

if there were more to come, but either way, it was a wonderful, extremely erotic story. Perhaps in the (hypothetical) next installment, some of the story (and mayhap some of the sex scenes?) could be from Andy's PoV? It'd be interesting to see things from the brothers perspective as well, I think.

-Anubelore :-)

I enjoyed your story immensely. I especially liked your choice of a female narrator. She was not only believable but gave the work a softness and pleasantry not often encountered in this genre. Put differently your story had CLASS. By way of constructive criticism I would say that you used far too many commas. They often distracted from the flow of the work and, in some instances, created confusion, at least for this reader. Write as you would tell it.

What a sweet story! I'm satisfied with you ending it here though I would gladly read a sequel should you ever write one.

Really liked this gentle, romantic story of twins realising their passion for one another. A sequel would have been really great.

Like others, I also would love to read a part two for these characters.

... anything more than the last few Commenters have said.

A very loving story, far more than just being about the sex. Very satisfying.

But all your stories are,,,

A very skillful build from the start to the climax (pun intended). Very well done. Your editor missed three typos, but it still was worth 5 stars. I do not recommend adding more. Anything you could add would either be less or at best anti-climactic.

/iota

I read and commented on this story a year ago. In the interim I've read many other stories. Yours remains among the very best. I really appreciated the long build up. You told an excellent tale with very good character descriptions. You really captured a typical American family on a special vacation. Perhaps I have a low libido but I find these "incidentals" to be every bit as engaging as the sex descriptions. I look forward to reading it again.

Definitely want more from this one.

What a great story. The ending leaves many opportunities for a continuation

of this story. I look forward to reading those. This was everything that those

commenting before me have said. More please...

So many unnecessary words and phrases that serve no purpose. Three stars for decent spelling and story.

It's pretty much bore. it's not at all like your other readings

Magnificent as usual.Please finish that's my only complaint is hat you don't finish any damn story.We invest but you just move on and it's really pissing me off.Your my favourite author but need these stories finished before you go onto others.So far you gave every story unfinished

Great characters, excellent story - some of the best. We need more of these twin adventures. PLEASE!

YEs, you need to do a second chapter. Let us know where Ann and Andy go from the hotel bedroom forward!

I loved this story and the Thanksgiving story, I've been dying to read a longer edition of both. I hate one page stories and I hate to be continued stories and I hate authors who write a story that is so great that it deserves a second chapter or more. I loved the 40+ page Thread: The Island story, but I loved your stories just as much, but they're not as long as the aforementioned story by JammyJimmy, which means instead of reading one story over the entire day, I read one of yours, drink something, eat something, then start a new story by you. I love them, I just wish they were longer, especially when they're worth much more than the five stars allowed, they'd be worth at least 50 in my view.

There's nothing wrong with writing, grammar, spelling and romance. If other readers just want action there are plenty of others to give it to them. This is what I wanted. Thank you.

What moving story and without being filled with crazy wild sex. This was a beautiful engrossing story of love that I couldn't put down.

Thanks for the story. Great build up and then nice long descriptive sexual encounter. You have inspired me to become better.

Loved and enjoyed reading this story. I wouldn't mind reading a follow up to this story if you ever upload one. Thanks for sharing your talents especially since you're not being compensated. Please continue to share your writing skills with us.

Thank you for a wonderful story.

Your story reads like a Mills & Boon novel of long-ago times. The buildup to the realization of their love for each other is the main thrust of the story. The sex there at the end was only the emotional conclusion of their love. IMHO, "Romance" might have been a better fit.

Exceptionally well written and well told story. Please don't stop there. You have sooo many ways to go. I hope you are encouraged to .. finish.. no pun intended. Thank you for the time you spent.

Would love to see a story about how they adjust to things after the trip.

You have been writing great stories as always and one of my favorite writers. I loved this story second to your summer sabatical which was just amazing. I love your stories and am waiting for the next story

Please please write some more

Amazingly well written despite all large number of incorrect words. This story would have benefited from a couple of read-throughs to correct them. 5-stars nonetheless!

I would absolutely adore another part of this, I hope it's still a possibility.

Yes, sequel please.

I like your style of writing , having read "Glimpses" yesterday and now "Jinx" you are consistent in the quality of your work and the way you draw the characters makes for enjoyable reading I shall now have to wait for a new story as I am about caught up. The suggestion you made in your footnotes regarding a follow up to Jinx, I say yes please, even at this late stage. It will still work.

"There might be more to this story. Let us know what you think."

YES! MORE!

But I doubt that'll happen; seems like, with the exception of An Unwitting Discovery, you don't come back years later and add to a story.

You also apparently don't reply to everyone who writes to you. Too bad. I wrote to you on October 25, giving you my real email address, which Literotica apparently does not have. I will send this to you, privately, adding that email address. Hope to hear from you, this time.

This is a terrific story! Please add more!

I would love a sequel. You are a very good story teller.

Slow erotic build up to a fiery conclusion

I gave this a 5 before I realized there was no sequel.

Too bad. I’d like to read more.

Bill S.

What a beautiful love story. I truly hope you continue this romantic story. I will send you an email to you with some ideas. Thanks!

Very touching! Such strong emotions.

Beautiful, but now what?

Please ,give us “ rest of the story “ . Your stories are so loving and caring that I have a hard time stopping to do other things. Having been B&R in CC Tex. I recognize a lot of the places you wrote about having worked most of the southern half of Texas, after a 4 year tour in Uncle Sam ‘s canoe club. Thank you again and please give us more.

Love this…more!

Absolutely beautiful I wish there were more stories like this.

If anyone knows of any stories like this please let me know.

Wonderful story, 5 stars. I'd love to see a continuation. Keep up the good work!

Really good story.