All Comments on 'Jo and Mike'

You demonstrate your ability as a stylist incredibly well.

This vignette is both romantic and soooo sexy, and not just because of my weakness for tiny Asian cross dressers with a less than passive wit and a yielding, submissive and sweet manner.

Intelligence is so exciting!

Wish you had a story beyond the sex for these well-drawn characters. They really deserve more time on the page!

Kudos!

Mike is one great sexy man! I love the blond hair, the "pelt" of blond chest hair and pink nipples. It must be very warm to lie with such a great man! What a great, gentle loving man! Please write more!

I give you four stars because I am nice too and I know how difficult it is to write but the sentence structure of this story need work! The story and set up or scenario is great but the short sentence takes the readers out of the story.

Example: "I start kissing. Up his hard tummy. His pink nips. His neck. His soft sensual lips."

This sentence could have been written as, "I start kissing up his hard tummy then I glide my tongue on his pink nips follow by his neck before I press my mouth to his soft sensual lips."

This is only one examples of the several other short sentences that should be combine together. Other than the short sentences, your story is hot but I felt it could be scorching hot. Regardless, best of luck to your writing and future stories.