Johanna and Maxine Pt. 04

Her eyes shifted as Linda grabbed her arms and raised them so that her wrists rested on top of her shoulders. Maxine stared into her eyes conscious that it was escalating but powerless to stop it at the same time. This was breaking two taboos, she was cheating on her boyfriend and getting intimate with a woman.

Should I be doing this now? With her?

Linda slid her hands down Maxine's arms to her shoulders and then around to her collar, she tickled her neck and throat slowly with delicate spider-like touches that made her shiver and then they fell to the top button. Linda tugged at it playfully and smiled crookedly as she twisted it and pushed it through the buttonhole. The collar sprang apart a moment later and she flicked her fingertips against her throat and traced her way along both sides of the shallow vee and behind the collar, Maxine looked down at her hands as the thought popped into her mind.

You don't even have to say her name.

Where had that thought come from? Maxine blinked as Linda tickled her earlobes and then slid her hands through her hair. She felt almost as if she was standing outside herself watching it all happen and then Linda dropped her hands to the bottom of the shallow vee and let gravity take control. The blouse sagged downwards as she spoke quietly.

"Are you comfortable here or do you want to go to bed instead?"

"Huh?" Maxine blinked.

"The couch is fine, it's wide enough but for your first time do you want to go to bed?"

Maxine looked down at her left hand as Linda folded the placket back and traced her way down her front with her other hand.

"Or do you want to take a break and talk first? It's all been a bit sudden, even for me."

"Um," Maxine bit her lip as she slid her fingers back up the placket to the second button.

She tugged at it playfully and then twisted it and slid the button through the buttonhole to deepen the vee. Linda tickled her front as she slid her fingers up the edges of the vee to her collar and she lifted it up at the back and managed a sly smile.

"If you want to stay here that's fine, the couch is okay for me," she dropped her right hand to the placket and folded it back again as she teased her bare skin with circular strokes. Maxine moved her hands through her hair as she contemplated her options. Everything felt rushed and that should've been a red alert but there was also the awareness that this was an opportunity. Having sex with her would be the perfect get out of jail card when it came to Mark.

Linda brought her hands together at the third button and eased it through the buttonhole, she spent a little more time to rearrange the vee, stroking her front rhythmically and Maxine's breaths became deeper. Linda massaged her breasts slowly and she let her breath out in a sudden rush.

"Well that woke you up," she slid her hands up to her face and pushed her head back until she was staring at the ceiling, "if you want to stop and talk just say so," she caressed her neck and throat with soft spider-like touches.

Maxine didn't reply but there was no need, she was aroused and even more tellingly, she'd pushed all thoughts of Mark out of her mind along with any guilt. This was undoubtedly forbidden in her world, she'd scooped the hat trick, cheating on her boyfriend, getting on with a woman and about to lose her virginity before she was married. Her eyes shifted as Linda slid down to the fourth button and as she undid it she fixed her eyes on her cleavage and the light blue bra. She swept her hands up the edges of the blouse to her shoulders and slid her fingers under the bra straps and pulled them off her shoulders and dropped her hands again.

A shiver ran down her spine as Linda caressed her front and she ran her hands through Linda's hair as the older woman shifted slightly, she raised her head and stared at her as a fifth button slipped out of the buttonhole to expose her belly. Linda parted the blouse a little more and Maxine exhaled as Linda massaged her breasts, a low groan escaped her throat.

"Ooh, that's the ticket, nothing like a bit of air down there."

She dropped her hands again and pushing the sixth button through the buttonhole, pulled on the blouse and then straightened up and studied her exposed front.

Maxine also looked down at herself. Her front had a darker tinge, an obvious sign she was aroused and as Linda stroked her front slowly she had a sly smile on her face. A moment later she pulled her hands off her shoulders and dropped them to her lap. Their eyes met as she pulled a cuff around to show the two-button closure and she undid the first button but just as she undid the second button Maxine's phone beeped and she glanced at it.

"Do you want to check it?"

Maxine didn't reply as Linda moved onto the other cuff and unbuttoned it. Once again she let her eyes play over her exposed front, Maxine rested her hands on Linda's legs, expecting her to take the blouse off but instead the older woman grinned.

"What's good for the goose is good for the gander," she raised her hands to her own blouse and undid the second button. Maxine fixed her eyes on her front as Linda fiddled with a third button but just as she slipped it through the buttonhole her phone rang. A slight smile nudged Maxine's lips at the custom ringtone. Her normal tone was a standard one but this ringtone was, It's a Beautiful Day by the Irish band U2.

The smile vanished however as Linda flinched and glanced over her shoulder. Her hands dropped to the fourth button and then she shifted back and rose to retrieve it.

"Shit, sorry. I have to take this."

"Who is it? Work?"

"Central services, Alcoholics Anonymous," she tapped the screen and moved away.

Maxine still didn't understand as Linda walked towards the kitchen.

"Linda here," she answered it a moment later, "yeah, I am... sure... who is she?" Linda stepped into the kitchen and Maxine leaned forward and put her palms on the couch and looked down at herself. Her blouse was unbuttoned and now that the spell had been broken some sense of reality began to filter through her.

She leaned over to read the new message.

Johanna: On my way home, have a great night. See you Sunday. Vi ses snart!

Maxine: Ja visst! godnatt sov gott.

She put the phone down. The last half an hour had confirmed one thing. She was gay or at the very least bisexual, but as much as she hated to admit it, she needed to end it with him and she eyed her phone. Should she call him now and just end it? However, when she tried to call five minutes later the line was engaged, but before she could send a text Linda entered the room.

"I know, I understand. All right, I'll head out there now, you take care, love you too Cheryl, have a good night," she lowered the phone and stared at Maxine as she walked to the couch.

"Sorry about that," she sat down on the couch and eyed the phone briefly.

"That was central services, it's a twelve step call, a local woman," she looked past her, "I just called Cheryl but she's bedridden with a cold so it's up to me to do the honours."

"Okay, I understand."

"Do you?" Linda stared at her, "seriously, this is bad timing but this is how we stay sober one day at a time but if you feel like staying then you're more than welcome to hang around."

"How long will you be?"

"About an hour or so."

"But then you have to work."

"Yeah, there is that as well," she frowned, "although it's doable."

"Uh huh," she nodded, "how's about I go home then and we can um, reconnect in a day or two, I did enjoy this but I do need to speak to my boyfriend and end it with him first. I just tried to call him but he's turned his phone off."

"I understand that completely, guilt can be a powerful thing. I should've asked the question before but things did move pretty quickly and it's been awhile for me, I apologise for that."

"There's no need to apologise, it confirmed something for me at the very least."

"What did it confirm?" Linda cocked her head to one side.

"That I prefer women. You went further with me than I've been with anyone," she straightened up and continued, "but talking more about it would be good, I haven't really thought about it. I had no intention of going further tonight at all."

"You and me both," and when Maxine raised her eyebrows she smiled, "seriously. I mean I had my little fantasies but that's normal for me, I'm always projecting into the future, it's an alkie thing but why don't you go home and do your thing. We can catch up tomorrow night or Sunday, or another day if it suits you, no harm no foul."

"Okay," she started to fasten her blouse, "we'll do that then."

"Cool although it's bloody bad timing."

Maxine smiled as she fastened another button and within a few minutes they were both dressed and she grabbed her handbag.

"So, tomorrow night?" Maxine rose.

"Call me first in case I have to take this woman to her first meeting, maybe our Higher Power has intervened. We should talk first, especially if you've never had sex before, I hate to put it like that but you understand?"

"I do but you didn't do anything wrong," Maxine replied, "and it's not like I didn't enjoy it, it took me by surprise but you went further than anyone else."

"Interesting, so you might drop in again."

"Yeah, we will talk again but it gives me a chance to think things through, if that's okay?"

"Of course it's okay, it takes two to tango and we will talk," she moved towards the door.

"No worries," Maxine replied as they reached the front door, "well, I'll leave you to your twelve step job and thanks for the education," she pulled a wry grin, "and it was educational."

Maxine left a minute later and drove home. She felt both elated and guilty at the same time but as she pulled into the driveway she was troubled by another aspect, her attraction to Johanna. In her mind at least, she'd envisioned that at some point she and Johanna would be having sex but instead it'd been Linda who made the first move. That meant she had even more to consider, was she just hoping in vain for Johanna or should she also factor her into the equation? Had she already made her decision with Linda, considering how close they'd come to consummation? Or was that just an old fashioned thing she had to discard as well.

She frowned as she opened the door. There was a lot to consider but as she stepped into the house a few moments later she was overcome with a sense of relief at her familiar surroundings.

Sleep, I need to sleep.

***

Johanna's eyes snapped open as the kookaburra laughed and she cursed out loud. The laughing call of this unique Australian bird could be both comforting and annoying at the same time. She stared at the ceiling as she replayed the events of the previous night. She'd opened up to Robyn and Penny, two women she barely knew and had revealed more about herself to them than to any of her other girlfriends over the years.

One theme had kept on resurfacing last night, her desire to fit in with those around her. She could trace it right back to when they moved from California to Sweden. She'd struggled with language and culture, and in many ways she'd become more Swedish than the Swedes and yet she never felt as if she fitted in with people around about her.

Her phone beeped and she turned to look at it, suddenly remembering the dream that someone had been trying to call her but she couldn't find her phone.

She picked it up and swiped the screen to see a message from an ex girlfriend, Shona.

Shona: Sorry it's been so long. Just thought I'd touch base with you. Call me if you're free.

Johanna frowned as she read the message again and then the last one from eighteen months ago.

Johanna: Okay, if that's your decision then so be it.

Shona's was above that one.

Shona: I can't do this anymore, it's over!!!

She thought about replying but then put the phone down. Shona hadn't needed time for herself, she needed time to get together with Shannon eighteen months ago. Was she still with her? The affair had taken more out of her than she cared to admit and yet she hadn't thought about her for the last few months at least. She touched the dial option and it rang three times.

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm still in bed," she answered her, "I had a dream my phone was ringing."

"That's happened to me too," Shona replied.

Johanna didn't reply for a moment.

"So why are you ringing?"

"Just touching base, that's all."

"And Shannon doesn't mind you calling your ex?"

"Shannon is ancient history," she replied, "I've been single and sober for the last six months and my sponsor said it was time to make amends, I'm doing my ninth step, making my amends. I can do it now over the phone or meet up and do it in person."

"Oh," Johanna blinked, "oh, right. I had no idea... I mean you liked a drink and you could be a pain in the arse when you were drinking," she pinched her nose, "sorry but I had to say it."

"It's cool, I accept that," she replied, "but I need to move on and before I do that I have to say sorry for the things I said and did."

"Okay, um. When?"

"Is this evening okay? I've got a day shift at the restaurant but I can drop in after work and bring you some food too."

"Okay," she pinched her nose, "what time?"

"Seven o'clock? I'm supposed to finish at six thirty but my relief is always early and I don't normally take a full lunch break anyway."

"Seven is fine but if it's after that it's fine."

"Cool, I'll see you then, have a good day."

She farewelled her and closed her eyes as she replayed the last fight they'd had, a full on screaming match before Shona stormed out. She sat up and stared at herself in the wardrobe mirror. Shona's frank confession had surprised her and it was perhaps prescient that she'd called today of all days. Maybe it was time to do the same herself, Shona wasn't the only guilty party.

This is an interesting turn of events.

***

Maxine also woke suddenly that morning but it wasn't because of a kookaburra or a ringing phone, it was a dream that woke her suddenly and in that dream she'd gone all the way with Linda while Mark and Johanna sat watching her. The weird part was that Mark was giving Linda instructions at the time. She stared at the ceiling as she allowed the memories to come back. It could've happened and yet they'd both pulled back from the brink, which left her in an unfamiliar position.

Where to from here?

Linda had left a door wide open last night and that fact didn't bother her. It felt comforting and yet she knew if she walked through it she'd be turning her back on the church. They might be liberal in many ways but they'd never tolerate an openly gay woman taking communion but was that such an issue now or was she just making excuses?

It was something that occupied her whilst she had a shower and got dressed in a black tee shirt, grey tracksuit pants and a windcheater. Her phone beeped as she slipped her feet into moccasins and she picked it up to read the message from Linda.

Linda: Sorry about last night, my bad. Hope you're doing okay. The twelve step job was okay but I'm taking her to a meeting tonight and should be back around ten or so if you feel like coming over, if not it's cool. No pressure.

Maxine: Thanks. A lot to process right now. I admit that I was nervous last night, but is it because it would be the first time ever or is there something deeper? Going down this track means big changes in my life, with church and everything else. I won't come around tonight but I'll swing by on Sunday sometime if that's okay.

Linda: Not a problem, just text before you come around in case I'm out.

Maxine: Of course, have a good day at work.

Linda: Is that even possible?

She smiled at that and put the phone down. Other people were stirring, she heard Rowena stepping out of the bedroom. Maxine sat up and stared at her reflection in the mirror and then sighed as she exited the bedroom.

"One step at a time," she murmured, "one step at a time."

Rowena greeted her with a tired smile and Maxine returned the smile.

"What time did you get in last night?"

"About half past one," Rowena replied, "Dave was wrecked this morning."

"And he still went to work?"

"Yeah, I tried to talk him into chucking a sickie but you know how he is. How was your night?"

"It was interesting."

"Define interesting."

"We um, pashed on together."

"Oh," she straightened up, "oh my God, so you and Linda?"

"Maybe," she glanced up briefly, "maybe not," she glanced out the window as Rowena spoke again.

"So, what happened? Or aren't you ready to talk about it yet?"

Was she ready? Maxine looked at her sister and then nodded and whilst she made breakfast she told her about last night. When she'd finished there was a long minute of silence.

So, what're you going to tell Mark?"

"As little as possible," she replied, "maybe I'll just say I don't think it's working for me but that leaves me with Linda and I'm not sure where it's going at the moment with Johanna."

"How many years between you and Linda?"

"She's thirty two but she looks younger and she's stable in her sobriety but I also like Johanna too but I'm not sure if she likes me in the same way and I don't want to put out those kinds of signals yet. I don't even know what I'm going to do about church."

"You don't have to tell them anything, it's your business," Rowena flicked at her hair, "but having sex with someone doesn't mean you're stuck with them for life. It's like test driving a car, you don't have to buy the car when you take it back to the car yard."

"So, what're you saying? That I should have sex with both of them?"

"Why not?" Rowena grinned, "you're experimenting, having sex with both of them doesn't mean you've signed your life away."

Rowena had a point she mused some time later. The dramatic encounter last night had awakened her latent desires, pushed down by church dogma and the warnings about going to hell. If there was such a place, would a loving God send people there anyway?

Going back beyond last night though she acknowledged that her involvement with Johanna and other gay women had been exciting. It wasn't as if she could just put it down to mild curiosity either, she'd actively sought them out. They were far more interesting and well-rounded than the carbon cut outs she met at church but did that mean she should take it further?

It was a welcome distraction under the present circumstances because while she was vacuuming the carpets and cleaning the toilet she was able to switch onto autopilot. By 11:30 the housework was done and she changed into a white blouse, blue jeans and a denim jacket.

Some five minutes later she left the house and headed over to Ringwood to do some food shopping and perhaps a little browsing.

***

The basque looked sexy but was it too provocative? It was black with white trimmings at the front and on the top, it fastened between her legs with press studs and had laces at the sides. She turned to look at her profile, the extra padding on the bust accentuated her breasts but the sides were showing bare skin. She smiled as she turned around and glanced over her shoulder.

Yes it was provocative, it was the type of undergarment that screamed fuck me harder, she looked at the other item she'd tried on a few minutes earlier, a white suspender belt. A bra and panties and a pair of stockings were beside thongs in a wide variety of colours, white, cream, pink, red and black. She picked them up and held them against her legs to compare the colours against her bare skin. Eventually she selected the white, pink and red thongs and proceeded to undo the basque as she let her mind wander.