All Comments on 'John and Diane Pt. 02'

All the hopping around from head to head completely destroyed any possibility this could be a good story. You needed to have written this in third person.

LOVER1953.... In your prolog to this particular story part 2 you expressed dismay and surprise over the reaction to your story. perhaps I can help you.

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You took a beating in the ratings In the feedback and from readers because your story was awfu

I mean it sucked moose cock.

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It's not that you left the story hanging. A lot of authors do that . It's that you created a story where the wife was so exceptionally evil careless cruel and duplicitous that you made it absolutely impossible for any heterosexual man to consider staying with her. There should not be any debate and the fact that you're actually offering a debate with regard to whether or not the husband stays in the marriage or not ..is WHY your story was awful. You seem to have a serious problem writing stories about Husbands and heterosexual men

I stopped reading when John kidnapped the kids and nothing happened.

I know you wanted to write a revenge story; but John broke the law when he took the kids. There would be Amber Alerts, John would be sent to prison, the kids would be returned to their mother and he would be relegated to supervised visits.

I know this because that is what happened to me.

Your fantasy doesn’t work because you tried to keep everything else reasonable. Kidnapping kids is unreasonable. Hell, cops recently shot and killed a girl who had been kidnapped by her dad, so yeah, cops take child abduction cases very fucking seriously.

LOVER1953..... What an unbelievably stupid awful story. It is contrived nonsense.

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Why after all that has happened is this MC somehow STILL bothering to give this horrible woman a second chance? What more does a woman have to do before her husband says to her fuck you and die? .

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There is no doubt you are going to be crucified again in this story because this is on an abomination. It's unbelievably stupid and ridiculous for every possible level..

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We find out on page 4 that after years of this going on that the husband never told his ex wife's parents what was going on and what she had been doing with Tom?

How the fuck is that possible? How does the main character go on and on and on about revenge and hurt and his wife's obsession with Tom ....BUT NEVER TELLS DIANES PARENTS????

Be careful what you do and who you fuck with. A good Texas mantra to remember.

Good ending! Tom got off too easy though.

5

Truly hateful tale. Blackmailing a loving mother and keeping her from her children is beyond disgusting.

All for BTB but not allowing a mother any contact with her children is over the top cruel.

Glad you finished it, a good read, appears John is not the cuck-wimp that many called him. I'd still have like to see Tom feel some proper measure of pain but that apart, good story.

OK, but I'd prefer to see Tom burnt at the end for the LOLs.

great finish

Well, not bad I just think the ending was the real fantasy

Sorry but I found it extreme and silly. U see we really don't need to paint everyone in black and white. Hero and villain.

John should have left the kids with Diane and blown up Tom’s world before moving to Texas.

It would have been a better story for Diane to lose her husband, her true love Tom, and be stuck raising 4 kids that hate her for pushing away the man they loved and new as their father.

great chapter 2

Good continuoustion on your story.

I enjoyed both stories now that you finished it. Thanks

Boringly repeatitive, so much unnecessary filler and you really need to edit! or find someone to do it for you.

I gave 4/5 to part 1 and give 5/5 to part 2.

This seriously ended up being a good story, even though the female lead, Diane, was the biggest fool ever. I thought John was a cuck idiot, but was much deeper than that.

The story was well written and ended up having a plausible plot.

Well done!!!

Only a one because you left the house and money for the worthless slut, but no repercussions for the scummy tom. To bad it might have been good.

Good ending to this well written story

Thank you I enjoyed the story and I agree with you that if people do not like your writing they do not have to read it. To make offensive comments shows a self obsessed childish personality. Sorry this is anonymous but I am a security freak. Please keep writing.

Not sure I can believe a woman would be that completely stupid. Also, not at all likely Tom could get Diane back to leave. Why would she since he treated her so awful? Think by the end, she'd want him thrown under the bus with his wife and family. I think a better ending would be Diane letting Tom suffer some of the same pain she was feeling. All in all, however, pretty decent BTB story.

I gave 5 stars but nearly didn't. I know she was a terrible person but she was a good mother and after all that time I think he could have allowed her to see the kids.

👍 well done. Throughly enjoyed this story. Thanks

Diane calls the police and John is arrested for kidnapping and extortion. She gets custody. Everyone in this story is despicable. Also, John’s lawyer gets disbarred

Good story. You portrayed John as a good man, and stayed true to that throughout the story. Given that you had him live for several years while knowing about Tom & Diane it seemed to me that he let the predator off too easily. He should have burned Tom, who continued on, apparently forever, with his way too cushy life. 4 Stars

I didn’t read part one until part two published, then read them together. I’m glad I did it that way since the first part was such an enticing cliffhanger.

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It’s hard to imagine that Diane and Tom were so clueless and heartless and utterly amoral, but, sadly, I’ve known people like them in the real world.

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Naomi reminds me of the character Caitlin, the Montana veterinarian who salved the hero’s broken heart, from the classic Literotica romance ‘Irish Eyes’ by Web_Spinner.

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You covered a lot of territory, from the Canadian Maritimes to San Angelo, Texas. It’s always fun, as a reader, to travel vicariously through the stories I read.

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All considered, a satisfying and enjoyable read. I look forward to your next story. Thanks very much.

And Tom got a couple of inconveniences and that was it? Naaah

"Please, if you don't like what I write, then please don't read it and move on." - How do we know if we like it until we read it?

Glad to see that he manned up. In first story, you made him very weak. Also, I’m a stock market investor. I’d have to go back but the amount of shares you mention seem to me to be worth over 6mil. 60000 TSLA at todays price is over 10mil alone. I liked this have of the stock. Although I’d still send my info to Toms wife.

really enjoyed part 2. Well done no nitpicking from me

Much better ending. I wish Tom had gotten his in the end.

Sorry..total trash. TC Ireland

Usually I personally find BTB pretty juvenile, but this wasn’t bad.

Just a random nobody’s two cents, but one tip is that the mundane details are not why people read these stories. The finances and legalese can usually be summed it much more succinctly.

Plus, no one cares about “Naomi’s”. As in, the new woman is always, at best, window dressing, and the drawn out romance is almost never all that interesting.

Still, well written and engaging on the whole.

Mehh. Tom gets away Scot free, no penalties at all, no child support, keeps his marriage intact.

Ex-wife makes out like a bandit financially, house, 2 cars, savings etc.

All so hubby can have custody of kids that aren't his, even that doesn't work.

Sorry these premises strain the limits of credibility.

Still didn''t make sense that Tom never got burned. He was scum and his wife deserved the truth.

Love this story. Well written. Most times living a great new life is all the revenge needed. For those who demand all stories be CUCK or BTB never had to choose to protect their kids from a delusional spouse. Thanks for sharing.

Thin skin???????

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

Average is best I could rate this one. Same old story that has been told hundreds of times. It would have been better if John had sent the evidence to Tom's wife. Seems like Tom get a 10 year affair and suffers no consequences.

The MC gave his cheating wife everything but the kids. He had money to buy a ranch somehow. But Tom got away virtually scott free. All he had to do was 'control' his girlfriend. Really? 2 stars and one of those is a gift.

as good an end as you could make. 5

You left a zero off of the cost of land in San Angelo!

Liked it, for the most part. It’s always fun to go to a bitch roast. Not believable was the the idea that a ‘Oh, but I love them even if they’re not mine’ bleeding heart hero would ghost the natural grandparents like that. Another thing is that this author seemed to pull some ideas about Texas right out of his ass. Most notably the idea that you could buy 1500 acres in Tom Green county WITH improvements for $2,000,000 million dollars. With the advent of horizontal drilling and fracking, that’s oil country.

Fourth Generation Texan

Straight up enjoyed this story..

Tom got off too easy, should have been burned in my opinion.

The husband in this story is a huge pussy. He took her back knowing she would cheat again, he raises kids that aren't his, when at 40, he could still have his own and knowing what cheating feels like, he says nothing to the wife of the man who cucked him. Oh, he also makes a big deal at the end, because he was too afraid to meet with his ex and handle it himself. It's easy to see why the wife did what she did.

Landing on his feet was a good thing. D

Compared to the first chapter, this is a completely different man. Here he’s decisive and bold.

Too unbelievable, especially after they got to Texas. Also, why didn't he go after Tom? A complete Wimp for the main character assures a low rating. This is a story that needed a lot more work and understanding of the adult world and of children. Perhaps you can grow from this.

I think the inconsistencies in the storyline are what bother me the most.

In the first chapter Diane thinks that at least some of the kids are John's. She doesn't know they're all Tom's until John informs her of the DNA test results.

Yet, John keeps on about how she "planned" to have Tom father all her children and just have John care for them.

In this chapter John manages to get Naomi pregnant within a few months. Plus we were told earlier that he'd been tested and his sperm were plenty up to the task of fathering children.

According to both John and Diane she got together with Tom once a week for the majority of their marriage. Supposedly she never turned John down for sex. So, it's pretty much a statistical impossibility that Tom fathered all 4 kids. She didn't make any special plans to only fuck Tom when she was fertile. She didn't cut John off when she was fertile. Based on the ratio of her having sex with John compared to Tom it would seem more likely that John probably would have fathered at least 3 if not all of the kids.

The end of chapter 1 was set up for Diane to finally be done with Tom and finally be a faithful wife and mother. Yet, the author takes the easy way out to start this chapter and has her revert back to her old habits. Really feels like an unsubstantiated plot twist just so the story can be taken in an easier to write direction.

After the mess that chapter 1 was, it would have taken some serious plot and character development to come up with a reconciliation that actually seemed realistic. Instead we get a nonsensical plot twist to allow for the cliche of John finding a younger, more beautiful wife to move forward with.

The story as a whole had potential but, that potential fizzled out as the story went along.

The kids seem to have more indignation about Diane's treatment of the "marriage". Why would John ever consider continuing in the sham relationship with someone who had never chosen him? To simply have the writer keep stating he wanted her to make a choice doesn't address the why of it. John knows the concept of vengeance, in the divorce settlement, why not express it then by demanding 80% of all marital assets? Tom is going to abandon Diane at any rate, why not wait a year or 2 and give Margaret a heads up about the decade long affair and the 4 children Tom is about to be sued for back child support on. Vengeance.

Super story, hope the next is soon on the way.

Not the best, not the worst. Just OK. A bit disjointed and choppy. In any case, thanks for your contribution.

Barely better than Chapter 1. Diane remained as delusional as any character ever created in any story on Lit. The outlook for her is bleak…probably suicide.

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Still don’t understand why Supercuck hasn’t destroyed Tom. Guess that’s what being a cuck does to one’s balls.

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IF in fact Supercuck told Naomi the whole story as it was allied, don’t understand why Naomi would want anything to do with this wimp ass dweeb. Unless she likes the idea of totally controlling him?

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Again, as with Chapter 1 — the writing was technically very good. But the plot….just excruciatingly stupid with characters no reader could like. Not a one.

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2 **

Glad he finally got away from the psycho bitch. I really feel sorry for the clueless grandparents, they're her victims also. The kids are better off not being exposed to her delusional mindset. Gotta say, John is one EXTREMELY patient man!

The sad understory here is Diane's mental condition that allowed the cruel preditor, Tom, to control her so completely. He used her for his own perverse pleasures and forced her to surrender her children because they would have complicated his life. He is the lowest form of humanity and richly deserving of a massive beatdown - once all the kids are adults.

I almost gave this one a pass, glad I didn't.

It started out really stupid, kind of like the first installment. But, I'll forgive you for that for two reasons. First, you turned the story line around and made it into a decent one. Second, there really wasn't a good way to recover without either rewriting part of the original or having him do something stupid to reset things to the point he could actually do something intelligent. So, thank you for fixing the disaster you created with the previous chapter. While I have had may ratings drop with this big of a change on a sequel, I'm pretty sure this is the biggest rating increase I've ever given one.

Thanks for a great yarn!

5 stars! Thanks keep up the good work!

"if you don't like what I write, then please don't read it and move on."

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That basically says that we can know what is in your stories without reading them. That's ample evidence that even you think your stories suck.

Good story. Liked the idea of letting the kids make their own decision of whether to speak to their mother or nor. I am curious on how you would have handled the situation if you were living paycheck to paycheck. I not have let Tom off the hook . I would have sent the info to his wife.

The author’s habit of repeating information previously written detracted from the flow of the story. He also spent a lot of time on superfluous detail, that further interrupted the ease of the read.

He set up a final dramatic confrontation opportunity then had it fizzle out by avoiding it. Great premise, lackluster execution

Tom still gets no punishment? This story has so much potential, and John finally got a better life, but bad people shouldn't get away with their evil works. Margaret deserved to know what a scumbag her husband is. Tom deserved to lose everything.

Not burning Tom's life to the ground was a huge weakness in this story. John should've dropped a nuclear bomb into his life.

Chance a mother just let's her kids go with nonfight is close to zero. Her parents let grandkids go with no explanation, close to zero. A Naomi on the other side who is interested in a guy with 4 kids, chance is higher than other two but below ten percent.

No mom let's her kids go like that

And Tom walked away, Scott free! All he got was a bit of heartburn and a Sword of Damocles hanging over his head. Maybe better would be to do this: John has sole custody; get a restraining order--west Texas judges are all pretty intolerant of bullsh*t coming out of Nuh Yoik. Then, once the Diane problem is fixed, unleash hell-fire on Tom. Finally, go have a cold Coors and watch the sun set of the Concho River country.

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Also, you need an editor. Lots of extraneous contents that drags down to story. I know, because I'm also bad about this. 5/5.

Naomi better have a fondness for geldings, 'cause that's what she married. Just too contrived, with the people acting like they were reading from a script. Nothing organic or natural about the interactions and the plot. Why the fuck did she ever marry John? And she threw it all away for a few hours of Tom's cock? Whatever. Thanks for the effort.

Excellent finish to the saga

5* A great pair of stories, well-written and engaging. Thank you for posting them.

Loved it! I was somewhat alarmed when Diane showed up. I thought uh oh, here we go, the point when so many of these stories go off the rail, and the former LW worms her way back in to some degree. But, no, the MC earned tons of kudos by staying strong. Thanks for the story! More like this please.

Compared to the first chapter, this is a completely different man. Here he’s decisive and bold.

Nice story, good enjoyable read.

I didnt make it past this part "Couldn't John just live with the fact that Tom was the kids father? Couldn't he just accept it? I mean, I loved him all the same. I was a good wife to him. We had a great life together. We had all the things that we had planned to have when we got married. We were a good family, we had good jobs, a great home and...fuck! Why do men get all wrapped around the axel about these things. It was only sex. I gave John lots of sex; and I know he enjoyed it. I know fucking well he did. My time with Tom never took anything away from John. Tom only got what was left over from John and I."

The issue being...and this is something too many writers here do, and if this upsets you then delete it..but what you wrote doesnt match up with what she felt for/with Tom. So the problem is is that this makes her the typical cliched LW wife.

She got caught cheating, then came the usual reconciliation, and then the cliched right back into it and then the wife is devastated that shes served with divorce papers. Her kids were all her lovers FFS.

And of course, once the hubby was out of the picture Tom seemed to have less desire for his little sex pot.

So if you want constructive criticism, stop writing the same stories everyone else does. Stop using all the same cliched benchmarks, when you read a story here, before you write toss all you read right out the window.

You write well enough, but you arent writing anything new. Parts were really good and yes most everything has been done to death, but you need to make it your own, not just another, what amounts to, a cut and paste read for us.

I question why John wouldn't have sent Tom's wife the package of information regardless. Really, if anyone needed to receive some comeuppance in this story, it's good ol Tom.

John is a small dick asshole.

No chance for NRA and republican.

John is a criminal kidnapper

John is a monster.

Good for him. He can afford to give his house and savings away cause he spent $2 million on a cattle ranch in west Texas. That's a little more than average for LW stories. Over all the LW stories, the average amount of cash and assets on hand at the time of filing the divorce papers is about $2.4 million. All tolled, he's prolly got around $3 million.

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LWlurker

Nice story of love, betrayal, and new love. Thanks for the story and keep writing!

This kind of dragged for me. I appreciate the plan John had but honestly the story just dragged on and in.

And Dianne was just too stupid to believe, that she would go back to Tom even though it was pretty obvious he literally was nothing more than a dick, in all senses. She was given a second chance and just threw it away? Makes no sense

Also the whole circumstance of the divorce went way off the rails. No lawyer would be involved in threatening Dianne with exposure like that,it is blackmail. John could have done that privately, but a lawyer actively involved in blackmail would get them disbarred.

And of course he is brilliant with the stock market and has millions, etc. Honestly it is better if the protagonist struggles a bit, he doesn't. And given the betrayal he would need to be on horse tranquilizers to have that little reaction to the truth.

So I am the first to comment.

I found this story quite hard going, but I saw it through to the end.

There a few typos but on the whole the story flowed well. I loved the whole father/children scene.

John and Dianne was emotionally gruelling but it worked out OK for everyone except her (unsurprisingly).

5 stars for a well written enjoyable story.

Since the kids were not his and he took them over state lines he could easily be charged with kidnapping 4 counts. Sure he could ruin Tom’s life but he would still be extradited and probably spend decades behind bars.

"Please, if you don't like what I write, then please don't read it and move on"- it is hard to know what you write without reading it. Just say what you mean, that you will delete comments you don't like.

John was a long term cuckold whose wife never loved him or her children. No likeable characters in this story except Naomi and her Dad, and maybe the children but they had such a inexplicably minimal role it hard to tell.

Now - that is some retribution!!! Big props!

Great story, it has a some what natural theme and I like it. I would be interested to read a little more.

Does Dianne ever get to reconcile with her kids?

Interested what happens next??

Please write a 3rd.

Nice wrap up.

Loved it

Only part that sucked was that Tom didn't get any "come to God" moment...he rather got away Scott free...besides having to deal with crazy Diane.

Was nice to consider ending this story. It was ok, I liked it but…, as for the intro to this second part… I totally agree with deleting mean comments but never tell the people to not read if they don’t like, cuz, how should one know if he like something without reading it? Right?

Cheers,

Captcha

I enjoyed your story.

I'll be reading more of your stories.

Thank you.

These were my comments on “John and Diane”:

Just a little ditty, 'bout John and Diane...look, I'm a big lover1953 fan. Having said that, though, thus far this seems an uncharacteristic misfire. Unless he plans to continue with a sequel. If not, QuickMagazine will consider it when I finally get off my duff and register with Lit. Meanwhile, I could only give this a 3, though my real rating is more a 3.5 - it was better than average, but I couldn't really like it because it needs some more time on the stove. The biggest problem I have is that John's goals (keep the kids at all cost) directly contradict what he asks for in the divorce petition. What happened to going for sole custody? Yes, the lawyer (Ken) convinced John that no court would give that to him. However. John has the resources to tie it up in court and basically bleed Diane dry, thus pressuring her to agree to his demands. So why not bleed her dry? Isn't like she doesn't deserve it. Leave her bereft of the children, John, AND Tom. And what happened to the other part of "quid pro quo," finding a girlfriend who can become wife 2 to him and mother 2 to the 4 children? Which is usually how things go in L53 land, one reason why I like him so much. However, on the plus side of the ledger are the similarities to "Mark - My Story" (the old boyfriend being the sperm donor, even having the same name - Tom). And one should respect the author's desire to do something different here - leaving a "lady and the tiger" type non-ending (and paraphrasing the Clash, to boot). If I seem to be all over the place about this, it's because the story itself is all over the place. So maybe I should just shut up, and hope that this fine author leaves this tale alone, so I can grab it for a sequel.

These are my comments on “John and Diane Pt. 02”:

Now, that's more like it. The lover1953 that QuickMagazine has grown to love. Naomi the riding instructor reminds me of a similar character in another story, but unfortunately I don't remember its name nor who the author was. She's a pleasant character in the tradition of other L53 second wives such as Charlotte ("The Story of Victoria and Will"), Jacq ("Jordan - His Story"), Sarah ("Dan: His Story"), Jane ("John: How to Save a Life"), Emma ("David: Survival and Adventure") and Laura ("Aaron"). Just to name some. So because I really like the guy, had to resolve any wavering here between a 4 score or a 5 with the higher number. That being said, have to admit that this feels like something the author felt he was forced into doing rather than something that was part of the original "John and Diane" inspiration. Not that I mind, but thought it should be noted. It's got to be a struggle for a good writer who specializes in "template" stories (such as lover1953 and Gumbo25) to try and avoid repetition while doing what he does best. So I'm not going to diss Mr. 53 for trying something different (in "John and Diane"), but suggest that next time he tries something like that, to tie up the loose ends (identified in my comments at the time) better.

I don't really lambast authors, unless they pull some horrible bait and switch in their story (or something along those lines). To be honest, part 1 was a complete mess. It just seemed that John dragged things out longer and longer and longer. He kept giving his wife chances to abandon her very long-term lover, giving the reader the impression that he'd take her back w/o repercussions if she rededicated herself to John and John alone.

Part 2 redeems the story a bit, as it's more concise. It still has problems. The daughter siding so completely with the dad was a bit unbelievable. Sure, the dad had months to slowly swing the kids his way, since Diana was delusional and thought that she could eat her cake and have it too, and that she could eat her husbands cake as well (while believing she wasn't). What I don't understand is how Diana thought some of the kids might have been John's, and how after all the sex they had in their marriage, none of them were, yet he so easily gets Naomi preggers. The fact that John was such a long-term planner and took his time to set up everything to hurt his wife, yet left Tom pretty much alone really left me wanting. Especially after that one very small POV from him that just made him out to be a worse scumbag than initially believed.

The overall story is decent, but John never really felt like a fleshed out character - he just didn't give off enough emotions. I needed more of that from him. I also felt the relationship with Naomi was rushed, because she was the only character other than the main ones the readers are introduced to, yet we're not really given much info about her.

Thanks for sharing the story.

Part 1: 2*

Part 2: 4*

Overall: 4*

I enjoy your stories and have read them all. Looking forward to the reboot of wife has regrets

A fitting end. Very good story, end to end.

That said, I didn’t see any mention of an “agreement” between John and Tom - at least not a legal document. I’d be highly tempted to send the evidence to Margaret just to screw-over his family name.

When John spoke with Diane’s mother and discovered that she didn’t know the truth, it didn’t say whether he bothered to enlighten her. I’d definitely have -offered- Diane’s mother a copy of the evidence packet, including the DNA results.

Finally, I don’t recall anything about John’s family. There’s no mention of him notifying them of the relocation or divorce. Leaving grandparents out in the cold is harsh, his or Diane’s side. Plus, why didn’t he kids ever ask about seeing grandparents?

Diane birthed those children, I can understand John not waning to see her or breath the same air. But, those Children share her DNA, the long-term damage will be deep, for all involved ( Naomi included). I see a future full of self medicating. 2 Stars

While this will be long, it is truthful and addresses some good and bad things I have come across while reading many of your stories. It also touches on the fact that Literotica needs to revamp the "Loving Wives" Category.

Many of your previous stories were pretty crappy. Even Part 01 of this story wasn't great. Your stories are very repetitive (something common among new amateur writers) and it seems as if they could all easily be interchanged.

This can be somewhat of a good thing IF the source material AND plot lines AND any overlapping characters are strong, interesting, and entertaining. To be honest, the "Cuck Husband" playing the "Long Game" gets quite old and frustrating for readers. I suppose a small segment of readers here that are fanboys and girls of Cuck stories are somewhat pleased, but I think most of us really aren't into that sort of thing. Especially, where the husband allows the situation and issues to drag out over a long expansive time period, something most people and readers could never do or conceive it being done.

The problem with writing in the Loving Wives Category and a husband with or without children having to deal with a cheating wife can elicit many emotions in people. Basically, there are two ways people see these stories, one is hatred from experience, either their own or a family member or friend, and two, from fear of it, ever occurring to them and the thought of how they would want to and then actually end up dealing with a cheating wife.

Some people feel that ALL cheaters need to be killed.

Some people feel that ALL cheaters need severe punishment just short of death.

Some people feel that ALL cheaters need some sort of punishment.

Some people feel that ALL cheaters should have a 2nd chance with their spouse.

Some people feel that ALL cheaters should simply part and live new lives as is.

The problem is, you will NEVER satisfy most of those people. You will only satisfy a small segment of the people that read your Loving Wives stories. I suppose that is why you often see many of the LW stories with lower ratings and brutal complaints in the comments section lol.

Part of the issues with Loving Wives stories could be easily settled if Literotica simply added a few newer Categories or even Sub-Categories in regards to the "Loving Wives" category. I have suggested many things they could change that I think would be beneficial to both readers and authors who participate in the LW Category but to date, I have not even heard any feedback from them either positive or negative. I don't even know if they even have read my suggestions.

Then again, when I used to write and post stories on this website years ago under a couple of different names, the "powers that be" at Literotica and I didn't always see things eye to eye, and some words were said by both sides that probably shouldn't have been said. Suspensions happened and threats of permanent bans were made.

So what I am saying is if you want to continue writing in the Loving Wives Category, you might want to give people a bit of a disclaimer before the story alerting them whether or not it involves a "Cuck", knowing, willing, or unknowing as well as if the story is a BTB, BTB with violence, just "some" revenge, or one that involves reconciliation.

I know a few "seasoned" authors do put disclaimers before their stories but to be honest, I don't know how much it helps them avoid lower story scores and nasty comments. It can be sad to see a great story plagued by low scores and bad comments simply because the readers didn't realize they were investing their time and effort in reading a story that they believed should have gone or ended differently. That is something you could talk with them about and decide if it is something you might want to try.

GIVEN THAT ............... Let's get back to my critique of this part of the story. As I said earlier, the first part wasn't very good and was very similar to many of your other stories and that isn't the greatest thing in the world when you are talking about Cuck husbands that drag the pain out for quite some time before doing anything.

I can, however, see a large and greatly improved difference between your previous writings and this one. Perhaps part of it has to do with this Part 02 not dealing with the husband as an unbelievable patient cuck and him exacting a small measure of revenge against the cheating wife and also the moving away and starting a new life and finding a new love aka "A Unicorn". Several other successful authors have used this approach and it has worked well for them. The best way to really get over a bad woman is to get under a younger, hotter, and much better, new woman.

I hope you will review this Part 02 of the story and take the parts that are strong and will show you positive results for your future writings. If so, I think you will quickly excel at this writing thing. Don't be afraid to totally destroy a cheater and her AP(s) from time to time and also don't be afraid to reconcile between a husband and a cheating wife IF the facts of the story and plot warrant it.

Danger Will Robinson: If the facts of the story and the plot don't warrant a reconciliation, you will get totally blasted by many in the comments. It's a fine line to walk when considering doing a story that has reconciliation, just walking away from each other, slight revenge, standard BTB, or a Nuclear BTB. Remember, you will only please a small segment of those that read LW stories since many have their own personal preference as to what the outcome should be no matter the facts of the story, and some of us are readers that dictate what we think the outcome should be based upon the actual facts of the story.

One thing to keep in mind, readers of all the stories seem to like to see the "supporting characters" such as the APs, friends who pushed, condoned, or covered for the cheating wife, same with family members, etc. who had a hand in the wife's cheating get some retribution even if it is a reconciliation story. You missed on this story by allowing Tom to essentially walk away unscathed in his life and marriage despite the fact he was the sperm donor and willing cheater with a married woman.

I understand why you did it using the "threat" of seeing it come to light as leverage but even then, after it was all said and done, a little push of some people toward telling Tom's wife would have been warranted and still kept that part of the story intact. It could have led to another dynamic subplot of the story as to how he alerted Tom's wife to his long-time cheating while keeping his name, out of it and looking like an innocent party to it.

Regardless, just keep writing, demand originality from yourself, find a groove that you are happy doing, and forget about any nasty comments. By doing this, you will become a better writer and storyteller. Some authors have said they have benefitted in writing future stories, especially in the LW Category by writing and submitting some stories in other categories such as Romance, Mature, etc.

One final note: I have noticed that many readers seem to like the stories where a husband is a strong man like many of us are, (he doesn't need to be a Navy SEAL, or trained assassin, computer genius, etc), just a normal guy like most of us that won't take any crap, acts decidedly fast, or even takes actions to save his marriage and family from poor decisions by a wife.

Also popular are stories where a "Loving Wife" is actually a LOVING WIFE and doesn't cave to the sins of the flesh (so to speak) by cheating. She either would never consider it and sometimes she and hubby team up for a little revenge for the attempted attack on her virtue.

Along this theme are stories where the wife wakes up and sees what little unwifely behavior she has done is leading to something bad that will destroy her marriage and life, or she is able to wake up by some external force via husband, kids, family, friends, etc jolting her from some sort of affair fog.

These can be some pretty fun stories to read as well and they seem to usually score 4.50 and higher. So while many readers like to see the "drama" involved in the marriage of the main characters, many don't actually want to see a good husband and family destroyed by a "Mistake" made by the wife. This is a genre on here that has only been "skimmed" when compared to other types of LW stories and while they leave a reader usually on a higher emotional note, there are still many original stories such as this that can be written. Real life happens often when a spouse suspects their spouse is cheating or will cheat and finds out that isn't the case or is able to prevent it before it crosses their own personal boundaries regarding cheating.

Why would Diane agree to John's divorce terms? She had him by the balls. Courts don't care if she's slut. You really think she would give up her kids because her lover says to? He’ll fire her? He’ll stop f@#$ her?

Unfortunately most states deem the husband at the time of birth to be the legal parent if not rejected soon after birth regardless of DNA. Or the courts could say “OK not your kids, you have no rights to them. And would probably be given custodial custody too.

He would need to claim his assets during the divorce of which she would get half. Ive hurd x-spouse discovering hidden assets and getting it all.

Good story… but taking away a mom from her kids is another type of hurt. Wonder if a deal could have be worked out with the ex-wife. Kids at that age without there bio mom. Thanks for this story

@Harryin VA,

Why are you such a dick? You could say you don't like a story or part of a story, but you don't have to be a dick about it!

I'm sure your mother must be proud of you!

thought that was pretty good story. The 1st chapter had me agreeing that Tom should take his wife back, such was the quality of th writing. And I am no cuck story lover. It just seemed reasonable based on the story you told. The second chapter continued nicely, but did get a little into imagination land at the end. The wife was written as a complete idiot, no self awareness at all, but i guess that can and does exist. Taking the kids on a summer vacation is legal, and no cops are not going to get involved when when no court custody decree is in place. a father can take his kids wherever he wants. The wife doesnt have to agree, or go, and no lawman is going to get involved.