John Becomes Jen Ch. 02

Warning: this story includes attempted rape and attempted suicide.

It is probably best to read the first part of this story to better understand this.

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Things seemed to be going well, which should be a good sign. I was making good grades in my classes and I had Roni as my girlfriend. I was more than comfortable living as Jen and everyone I met fully accepted me as Jen. Then again, my classmates never really knew me as anything other than Jen. Sure there were a few people who I'd known as John, but they didn't know that's who I'd been.

Of course I could see problems looming on the horizon. The holiday break was coming up and I had always gone home for the holidays. I didn't feel I could do that this year. I couldn't go home and pretend to be John when I'd become Jen, besides which, I could no longer hide my breasts as I had when they were smaller.

I resigned myself to spending the holidays with Roni, not that it was bad to do that. I just felt odd not to have my family around. I had reclaimed my sister by becoming Jen, but in doing so alienated my mother and she indicated that my father would be far more unhappy than she was. I was doing okay when I received a text from my mother.

'Your father is coming to see you.'

Shit. I had not addressed any of this with him and my mother made it clear that he would be upset by it all. At the same time, I didn't think I could hide it anymore even if I wanted to. The fact was I didn't want to hide it. I loved being Jen and was happy in my relationship with Roni. It was a Saturday, so I had no classes, so I was in my usual attire of skirt, top, bra, panties, and flats with jewelry and makeup. Roni was with me as the doorbell rang and I went to answer it.

"Jesus Fucking Christ, what in God's name have you done to yourself?"

My father's face was almost purple with rage. I choked up and couldn't even speak as I let him in the apartment. Roni spoke up on my behalf.

"She's changed and she's happy with her changes."

"Get the fuck out of that shit and put on normal clothes."

"These are her normal clothes."

"Normal for what -- a cross dressing faggot?"

"Jen is my lover and I am her woman -- and all woman."

Roni was in jeans and a top with short hair and a sports bra. She looked far more masculine than I did. My father pretty clearly was contemptuous of both of us.

"You look almost as fucked up as this thing does."

"This 'thing' as you put it is my girlfriend."

"This used to be my son, before he got so damned fucked up. Are you the reason he's so fucked up?"

"Jen was this was when I met her."

"It's disgusting."

"She did this in memory of her sister."

"This is a disgrace to Jen's memory."

"You think you know better than her own twin?"

"John, you are an abomination. Don't ever set foot in my house again."

With that, my father turned, stormed out of the apartment, and slammed the door behind him. For most of the exchange between dad and Roni, I simply sat on the couch, mute, with tears running down my face. I looked like hell, and my makeup was ruined. Roni came over and sat beside me, but she seemed disturbed.

"Why didn't you stand up for yourself?"

"I just couldn't."

"You're smart and a good person. You have a lot to be proud of."

"To hear that kind of hatred from my own father..."

"I defended you, but if this is what you are, you need to be proud and stand firm."

"I think the only difference between him and my mother is that she doesn't scream insults."

"You have to respect yourself if you want anyone else to respect you or love you."

"I love you."

"When you can love yourself, maybe I can love you, but not until."

With that, Roni got up, went in the bedroom and gathered a bunch of her stuff and crammed it into a bag. I sat shocked as she took it and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To stay with a friend. I need a change of scenery and to clear my head."

"I've lost my father, my mother, and now I'm losing you?"

"I never said this was forever, and I should be back."

She walked out the door, but at least didn't slam it like my father had. I fell over on my side on the sofa and wept until I could cry no more. Eventually, I got up and staggered into the bathroom. My face was a disaster and even my clothes looked horrible. I took off every stitch of clothing and washed off my makeup. I took off all my jewelry and ran the tub full of water and just sat it in.

I now seemed to have lost everyone I'd ever cared for. I felt like I wanted to die. I just wanted to slip under the water and have it take me. I slipped down in the tub until my face was under water. I held my breath for a while, then let it out and breathed in water. I sat up choking, with my lungs half full of water. I leaned forward and just puked right there in the tub.

I sat there shaking and thinking how close I'd come to just letting everything go. I realized that to end myself that way was the greatest dishonor I could do to my sister. After I got my lungs mostly clear, I drained the tub with its puke water and stood up and turned on the shower. I washed myself as clean as I could, though I scrubbed until my skin was red and starting to get raw.

I dried off and looked in the mirror. I wasn't even sure what it was I saw. I saw the face, hair, and breasts of a woman, along with the genitals of a man. I felt like I was neither man nor woman, not fish nor fowl. Maybe my dad was right and I was some kind of abomination. I stumbled into the bedroom, still naked, and wasn't even sure what clothes to put on.

I had boobs, so I needed some sort of bra and put on a sports bra with no padding. I had long since disposed of my old boxers, so I had no choice but to put on panties. It didn't seem right now though. I tried a pair of my old jeans and they no longer fit in the ass, while the waist was too big. I got a pair of Jen's jeans and a neutral top, then put on some running shoes.

I cleaned off my fingernail polish and brushed my hair in kind of a gender neutral look. When I looked in the mirror, I couldn't tell if I was looking at Jen or John. Hell, I wasn't even sure which or who I was. Also I wasn't sure who I wanted to be anymore. In the course of an hour, my life had been turned upside down. I no longer even knew which side was up.

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I saw nothing or Roni for the rest of Saturday or at all on Sunday. I stayed in jeans and such the whole time. I didn't feel quite right in skirts or dresses. I wore no earrings or other jewelry and frankly looked about as butch as Roni usually did. On Monday morning, before classes, she came by for a change of clothes. It looked like she was no happier than I was.

"Jen? You look a lot different from normal."

"I don't know who or what I am. Hell, I don't know who I want to be."

"Maybe this is better. You seem to be both John and Jen. Does this make you feel better?"

"I feel like shit after having my father blow up at me, and then you walked out on me."

"I'm sorry. I needed some space and to give you a chance to figure out who you are."

"Shit. It feels like I might spend the rest of my life figuring out who I am."

"Who you are now may not be who you want to be later."

"Who do you want me to be?"

"What matters is who you want to be."

"Please don't leave me -- not now. I need someone with me, at least through the holidays."

"I was going to visit my parents over the holidays, but you can come with me. They wouldn't mind."

"That makes them better than my parents."

Roni kissed me and we hugged, then she changed clothes and we each went to class. We both came back to the apartment after class. There was something of a distance now that there hadn't been before. She moved most of her stuff to the second bedroom. She made it clear that we could spend the night together some of the time, but that it wouldn't be all the time.

I was torn about whether to try to make my parents happy by going back to strictly being a male. I'd have to reverse the hormone therapy and have the boobs excised. It also felt like I'd really lose Jen forever. Maybe it was only in my head, but it still felt like what I was doing kept some part of her alive. It seemed too much still to give that up. Besides, I wasn't sure going back would really make it better for my dad.

I could also go ahead and go all the way to being female by getting bottom surgery. All of me would match the way I look and dress, but I'd lose what remains of John if I did that. In one sense I wasn't sure if I wanted either of us gone. My penis did work and I enjoyed it when Roni and I made love. I didn't feel I could be honest about what I really was with anyone except Roni, and she was pulling back.

Roni spent the night with me a couple nights a week, but said she felt she'd like to see other people and thought I should as well. I was still pretty hesitant about that because I wasn't sure how people would feel about what I was. She began to bring people to the apartment once a week and one night brought a young woman named Lissa.

Lissa was a cute blonde with a nice shape who spent the night with Roni. The next morning, Roni had a early class and took off. When I got up Lissa was still there. I was in nightgown with panties and she was in a long tee that I think she got from Roni. She was eating some cereal and watched me as I went in the kitchen. I wondered if I should go back to my room and put on more clothes.

"Roni told me your name is Jen."

"Yeah. I'm a student too."

"I think you're cute, Jen. Maybe we should hook up some time."

"But you and Roni..."

"She sleeps with others and has no exclusive claim on me."

"I don't date a lot."

"Roni told me you're trans and that doesn't bother me."

"She told you that?"

"She knows I'm good with that, and I told her I thought you were cute."

"I don't usually tell people..."

"There's haters around, but I'm not one."

"I'm concerned about what Roni would think if I went out with you."

"She said it was fine with her."

"It still seems kind of..."

Lissa got up and walked over to where I was standing. She wrapped her arms around me, pulled me close and gave me a kiss. It took me a second to react, but I couldn't help but kiss her back. I'd only been really intimate with Roni and it still seemed a little odd to be kissing this woman, however cute she might be. We kissed for a while, before she stopped and pulled back.

"I can feel your thingy down there, so I guess you like me."

"You're really cute."

"I don't have any classes for a while. Would you like to go to your room and have fun?"

"But you and Roni...?"

"She has no claims on me, and I have none on her."

Lissa kissed me again and began to rub my back, and very quickly moved down to rub my ass. I squirmed against her as I kissed her back. She brought her other hand up and fondled a boob through my nightgown. I could feel the nipple getting harder as she did. I still wasn't sure I should be doing this with her even though I enjoyed it and was turned on. As we kissed the door opened and Roni came in.

"Jeez, you two -- can't you take it to your room?"

I stood there shocked as she walked past us into her bedroom. Lissa took my hand and led me into my bedroom, and shut the door once we were in. As soon as she did, she pulled off the long tee and had nothing on under it. She was shaved bare between her legs and had two nice b cup boobs. I just gaped at her as she pulled off my nightgown.

I stood there in my panties, with my cock tenting them out. Lissa kissed me again, then pulled down my panties letting my prick spring forth. She tapped the tip with her finger, which made it bounce slightly and I had a drop of precum appear at the tip. She gently grabbed my dick and led me over to the bed where she laid on her back, and then pulled my head down to her pussy.

She was not only completely shaved down below, but there was no trace of stubble. I went right for it and licked up the center of her slit. She spread her legs wider and even pushed her hips forward to get my tongue deeper into her nether regions. I had licked Roni to orgasm many times, so I began to lick Lissa much as I'd licked Roni.

As I did, her labia parted further and my tongue got deeper into her sweetness. Pretty quickly, she was moaning and moving her hips. I redoubled my efforts, not only licking her like it was my life's work, but grabbing her ass and kneading her buttocks. I could feel her muscles rippling beneath me and she shrieked as she reached nirvana.

I kept licking through two more climaxes until she told me that was enough and began to pull me up her body. I paused along the way to express my appreciation for her breasts. They were not large, and lying on her back, they largely flattened out, but she had pretty little areolae with stiff nipples at their center. I kissed all around the titty before zeroing in on that luscious nipple.

As I began to suck on it, Lissa stroked my head and held it tight to her breast. Sure, I'd done this with Roni many times, but it felt different with Lissa. It's hard to even explain, but I felt more connected with Lissa than I had with Roni. I reveled in it and in her breast until she came to a massive orgasm. Normally, I'd move over to pleasure the other mammary, but instead she pulled me up her body.

When Roni and I were together, she was nearly always on top. That was fine with me, I still enjoyed it, but now Lissa reached down, grabbed my prick and slipped it in her cunt while I was on her.

"Fuck me, girl. Give me that cock. Pound my little pussy hard."

I began to fuck her and she had me lift up my upper body as I did. Once I had, Lissa started to suck on my titties as I fucked her. Okay, I had done much the same to Roni many times while we fucked, but I'd never had Roni suck my boobs as we fucked. I felt my dick in Lissa and she felt tighter than Roni and between the snugness of her cunt and her sucking my breasts, it was like nothing ever before.

I wanted this to last. I wanted it to last forever. I knew I couldn't keep it up for long but being with Lissa felt so much better than with Roni. I think that it had almost become routine and mechanical with Roni and that the emotion and feeling had evaporated. It was here now with Lissa and maybe even more than my best with Roni.

How do you compare? I don't know, but I hadn't felt this good being with Roni for a long time, if ever. As my cock plumbed the depths of her sweetness, I felt like I'd gone to another world. When you add having her sucking on my boobs it pushed me over the edge. I had a female orgasm like none before, and followed that with exploding in her pussy.

I slumped onto Lissa and as I did, she kissed me though I could barely focus on anything. As I came back, I kissed her frantically and lifted onto my elbows so I didn't have my full body weight on her. Sure, I was slight so I didn't weigh much more than she did, still I wanted to do that. I could feel my breasts and my nipples rubbing against hers as we kissed. That pushed me to another female orgasm.

Finally, she had me roll off her and we lay side by side on the bed, still kissing and stroking each other. Roni and everything I'd felt for her were washed away by what I'd done with Lissa, and I just lost myself in the pleasures of making love to her. I was almost disappointed when she finally pulled back. She got off the bed and gave me a sexy look.

"After all that, I need a shower. Care to join me, girl?"

She held out her hand and I scrambled from the bed and took her hand. We held hands as we went in my bathroom and got into the shower. The first blast of water was a bit cold and she shrieked and giggled and pressed her body against me as we stood there in the warming water. We kissed and touched each other as the water reached a comfortable temperature.

Showering with Lissa was wonderful, and something Roni and I had never done. I had floral body wash -- the same brand and scent my sister had used when she was here. I took some and began to slowly wash Lissa's upper body. I spent a long time washing her bosoms which I know were not that dirty, but I enjoyed gently rubbing them with the soap and eventually rinsing them off.

Once I had them clean, I leaned down and kissed each nipple, before she pulled me up to kiss me. She washed my titties much as I had done hers, and it felt so good, my knees began to get weak. I leaned back against the shower wall as she washed me and just lost myself in the feel of it all. She finished and it was my turn and I started on her back.

It felt sensual, just washing her shoulders, though that was enhanced by having her grind her ass against my cock as I washed her. I got about halfway down her back when she bent over, grabbed by dick and guided it into her pussy. She began to fuck herself on my prick and all I could do was hang onto her hips. Lissa had spent the night with Roni, then she and I had made love in my room, now we were doing this.

I had my hands on her hips as she impaled herself on my rod. Even though I'd cum not that long ago, the feel of this had me erupting in her very quickly. As I did, she paused to let me fill her up, squirming her hips against me as my balls emptied themselves in her. Finally, I was done and my wang softened and slipped out of her. As it did, she straightened up, turned around and kissed me.

This shower had already been so wonderful that I didn't want it to end, but eventually the hot water began to run low. We quickly finished, rinsed off, then dried each other off. The drying was almost as much fun as the showering had been. Once we toweled each other off, we each dried our hair then came back into my room.

Her clothes from last night were a little the worse for wear, and we were close to the same size, so I loaned her jeans, top, and undergarments. I put on a skirt and top and once we'd dressed and put on makeup, we went out for a bite of lunch. We each had an afternoon class that day and agreed to meet up after class and go back to the apartment.

We walked into the apartment holding hands, to find Roni sitting on the sofa. I immediately was nervous, feeling that I had stolen Roni's girlfriend right from under her. Lissa put her arms around me, pulled me tight and gave me a kiss. Pretty clearly, she had no problems in dumping Roni for me, but I still felt queasy until Roni spoke.

"I figured you two were a better fit for each other than either of you were for me. I'm glad you proved me right."

Lissa smiled, gave me another kiss, then led me into my bedroom. We made love before eating dinner and studying. We saw little of Roni and only a day before, that would have bothered me, but now I barely even noticed. After we finished studying, we went back into my bedroom and made love. As we lay there afterwards, I thought I heard Roni come back and go in her room.

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"I never thought I'd find one woman who liked me as I was, and now I've found a second."

"Most guys are more interested in their own pleasure than mine. You lick pussy as well as most women, but you have a real cock too. A plastic one is okay, but a real cock feels better. Besides you have boobs I can play with. It's like hitting a sexual trifecta."

"My father hates me and gave me hell, and Roni didn't like me not standing up for myself."

"Her family seems good with her sexuality, but a lot aren't. It really sucks when the people you love turn against you."

"With my family hating me and Roni turning on me too, I felt like I'd lost everything."

"For now, at least, I'm here."