All Comments on 'Johnny Goode, Lead Guitar Ch. 02'

When we left Johnny, he and his ex-wife had become fuck-buddies

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you mean -- When we left Johnny, he had realized he was a cuck and kept having sex with the slut, he even went on to find new guys for her to fuck

Rough, really ROUGH

First part was good…this one cratered pretty fast

This can only end in heartache. It was good to a point but I can't believe Johnny would just stand around and accept his first real love, Joy, was putting it about all over the place.

Also surprised no other pregnancies or disease raised their head.

Just too unrealistic for me but we'll written so 3 stars.

Much enjoyed part 1, part 2 was just a silly male (and I am one) fantasy

The story did need an ending, but I didn’t imagine this one. Seems like he fell from a moral high ground. Not that there’s a problem with polygamy but it doesn’t seem to completely fit with his earlier character

As a former musician, I can relate to most of this. This is LE, and I expected the storyline to develop and conclude as it did. Tastefully written sex scenes and your way of describing each of the characters feelings was well done. No nitpicking here.

I didnt really like the ending.

Ok if the girls and him made a family but they stil have sex with others. That just wont work.

95% open relationship like that fail. And they all are sharing kids.

Not good hence not liking the ending.

And really the device that they have to have sex after music? So made up.

If that worked every guy in the world would get hi girl to start singing lol.

That was just…..bad. Silly. Juvenile. Stupid.

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As if a 15 year old “rock wannabe” wrote it. Poorly.

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The shame is that SOMETIMES you do better. SOMETIMES.

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2 **. Barely.

You must have a need to fill the space on paper! Just post this under erotic couplings, and save a little time trying to make a story out of it.

Three. This chapter was anticlimactic.

You had a 5 until the end. Mother plot line where you have Johnny not learning his lesson at the end caused me to rethink the score. I’m not sure, emotionally, I have no idea where I am at the end. 4*

Silly

Very silly

2 completely different Johnnys. I liked the first one. Not sure I like Lilly. Completely different story, should have read the tags, learned my lesson....

Just couldn't care about any of the characters or what happened to them.

Started very well in the beginning, but started sliding down in my humble opinion, The reason I am giving a three is there is no good reason for reconciling other than she is a good fuck and the kids.

effort 5

storyline 3

ending 1

overall 2 plus round up to 3

Hear that sound?? That's the sound of a train wreck that is still plunging into the abyss. That pretty much describes Chapter 2. You should have left it alone after Chapter 1.

Sorry but having sexual relations with the ex after the betrayal is a tough pill to swallow. Unless they parted on good terms and no betrayal I can see that but not after her cheating on him.

Pretty much pure trash, and wrongly categorized.

This story was a train wreck. A fuck feast with a bunch of cheaters.

Very monotonous ... I went to the end just to see if it had one.

Joy was made out to be such a dolt in the first story, but Johnny still ends up fuck buddies with her, because apparently a hotshot lead guitarist doesn't have better options than a cheating ex. Bold move giving him three shallow playthings in this episode in the hope that between them, they could add up to a single interesting character. Doesn't quite work, but I guess it was worth a shot.

That was a crash and burn. Way to blow up a story.

Bad from start to finish I thought after all the negative feedback from the first part you would of shelved it

I've also read a very very similar story on Lit before is this the second time you've posted it????

Started out good than got worse toward the end no real women share like this. Sad.

So I guess music and careers and business and children (remember, they are supposedly raising children) is what they do in their spare time, when they are not fucking. Which means all the other aspects of their lives get what is left over after the chronic and endless sex. What wonderful people, and what amazing full and thrilling lives. Just ridiculous, and immature. You portray your characters like teenagers who just discovered they have sex organs. If this is what you think life is like in the entertainment business then you are reading too many glamor magazines, and imposing your own juvenile fantasies. The whole series comes off as silly, like watching rabbits fuck.

I appreciate the effort, but it was too outlandish and contrived. Unbelievable, and not erotic or compelling; just stupid.

What a great beginning to your story and what a poor end. Pity!

well it was a story, a good read. But, it really was a moral YUCH! story.

Well, that was something... I don't know what else to say besides it went exactly where I didn't want it to go.

Suspension of disbelief required—100% Suspension of disbelief achieved—0%

Schoolboy fantasies from a presumably adult mind are always amusing, but like candyfloss there’s no substance.

WTF-1*

You're developing this story very well until the sexual aspect just clearly a story away into dimensions of a totally ridiculous.

Again you write very well but you have no discipline in terms of development characters. Instead of folding section as it naturally would he just carried away a second book and just go hard wild with it.

This is what so many other writers in literatica do and it's just plain pedative and.

Read authors like saddle tramp who do a really good job development against our input insects in were truly belongs and they don't go on forever with the descriptions.

If you keep writing I'll come back and revisit you down-the-line to see if you've matured in your running before right now I can't read any more of your work.

Johnny noticed the huge wet spot on his bed. The mild smell told him it wasn’t urine, at least this time.

— FIN —

Johnny and his harem

Meh, started poorly and just got worse... Complete and utter ridiculous wish fulfillment nonsense.

Submissive little twat once he beat the crap out the first guy and wanted to do it to his ex. Suddenly he goes from a cuckold to a cuckold in waiting

This read like a rough draft the whole way through. And not a GOOD rough draft either.

He took Ginger joyfully and Joy gingerly.

I wish cover bands could get gigs and make that kind of money these days.

One big log sex romp

An enjoyable romp, thanks.

Yeah... this got a 5, just like Part 1.

Boy, do I envy your creativity !

EastCoaster

Thanks for your writing.

Yeah an average sex couple story Started off well but fell a bit flat in the middle (jaybee186)

Fairly fun, tightly written, thanks. rk

I am here for the dramatic tension and the angst. The first part had that. This part did not.

Thank you for writing

Johnny Goode? Johnny Great!

Not a realistic ending. Kids must have learned how to mess up there lives.

My wife, my partner in our band….has fucked three of our bass players. So I get it. 5 stars for realism

Loved the plot line, your writing style isn’t for me, it’s just bullet points, it’s like you have a verbal machine gun.

The characters worked, and a lot of the musical stuff sounds alright.

You expect authors to write about delusional characters especially in the LW category but it’s quite rare that the author is as delusional as his creations, and ending it with the juvenile schoolboy fantasies is evidence of that.

Right. He's gonna be the hardass all through the story? Then at the end become their bitchboi?

Sure. God damned stupid.